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❦ ALICIA ❦
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You're breath-taking, as always.
I was glued on the spot as I watch you walk through the corridor, making everyone wonderstruck as you passed by.
Your jet black hair and twinkling eyes complimented the shade of your cheeks as your lips seems to seek attention of anyone looking at you and I won't deny that my heartbeat gets louder as it stubbornly pounded fast in my ribcage. It reminds of the past, that particular rainy night.
We were sixteen back then, teen-agers with messed up minds in my dimly lit room in the middle of the night. I, the girl who's overthinking things; and you the ardent young man who's confused about his real identity.
The sky was rumbling while lightning and thunders hit here and there, lighting the dark midnight sky. We sat on my bed, silently gazing the starless sky from my window. I sighed as I shook my head, trying to clear my mind at least but then my mind was so messed up that the current matters goes to the back of my mind.
I let out a disappointed huff because I was being emotional, barely noticing that you stopped shivering from the cold.
I was disappointed of myself for something so insignificant and upon remembering that, I can't help but to smile.
Looking back now, I always ask myself how naive could I be. Maybe the weather affected me, seems like the dark sky shadowed my thoughts for a while.
I still remember how I burried my face on the palms of my hands while my arms were tightly pressed on my chest as I lifted my feet off the ground until I felt your presence closer to mine. I lifted my head to look at you as I inhaled the faint smell of your cologne that somehow calmed me--stopping another tear from escaping my eye that I failed to notice.
Then I heard your voice in a whisper, I never noticed that it sounded more deeper than the one you have few years back.
"Are you okay? Why are you crying?" You cautiously asked as you gently wiped the lone tear on my left cheek. I could only stare at you as you left me dumbfounded for the first time in years. For a while I thought maybe you were an Angel.
And at sixteen, I realized what it's like to be infatuated.
I continued to stare at you even if you already pulled away, I noticed the gentle tug in the corner of your lips resulting into a heartwarming smile that matches the intense gaze you had.
" You know you can tell me anything. I'm always here for you " you said as you scooted over my side. I just replied in a low humm, not trusting my voice at that time.
We were engulfed by silence once more but not like the any other silence, this one is comfortable. I don't really care at that time as I decided that I'll go with your plan today if you had one.
" I really like your name " you sincerely said as your smile widen a few millimeters, urging me to have one of my own. I smiled and it seems to be the first one I had that day. Your eyes twinkled as you shifted beside me while gazing outside the window.
" How many achievements have you attained? " you nonchalantly asked as we watch raindrops slid through the window pane.
" I have no idea, how about you? "
If it was a normal day maybe I would reply differently but somehow I don't seem to care.
" Depends on what achievement you have on mind " you mumbled.
" What? "
" What kind of achievements are you counting when you are feeling down? " you answered with another question, finally glancing at me. And I don't know if it's your gaze or your words but it seems to enchant me because in that same moment I told you what have been running on my mind.
" You are not the only one who thinks like that. I'm the one who ran away from home am I not? " you whispered after I finished talking.
" What happened? " I asked, wanting to be there and listen to you just like how you listened to me. I wanted to lift your burden just like what you did to mine.
" I want to accomplish different achievements, not what is expected from me. I want to finally realize what I want and know who I am, not what people told me. "
We were young but you're always been a pure soul. You've been the light in a gloomy setting yet I felt your uncertainty and confusion. I don't know what to say nor do to comfort you so I mindlessly put my head on your shoulder, thinking that maybe it will give you 'comfort'. You lightly rested your head over mine as your hand blindly found mine, you intertwined them gently and we felt each others' warmth.
" I was confused but I knew what was my problem, the thing is I can't accept it though I know that it'll set me free even the slightest. "
I listened carefully, silently enjoying the sound of your voice that seems to overlap the sound of the rain and thunders. It sounded so gentle and soft more like a silent prayer in my ears.
Your words, they engraved themselves in my mind specially the next ones..
" I wanted to disappear but now you're here with me. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow. Tomorrow, maybe I'll have the courage to count the achievements I wanted to count. "
I don't know why and how but after you muttered those words, my heart ached a bit. Right then and there I felt afraid without knowing the reason. I don't want to let go of your hand nor see you go so I decided to be there for you.
" I'll count with you. Together we'll escape. Even if you tried to run away I'll follow you and support you no matter what " I stated as I lightly squeezed your hand giving you another smile that you returned with another. It made my heart skip a bit as my heart set a new pace when your around.
" Alright, I won't escape for the meantime. I'll be there for you as long as you're there for me " you replied.
I nodded as I vowed to keep this promise. A promise that I never regretted because like what we promised, we are there for each other ever since.
We counted each other's achievements as we go beyond our boundaries. We are finally free, or at least we finally felt free. It was the happiest day of my life yet also the saddest.
" Alicia, I know it's love. I'm going to another country, we-we are going to another country. I never felt so free Alicia and I'm fulfilling our dream. We'll count new achievements we never thought we would. "
I watched your eyes twinkle as you uttered those words. It's weird how you can stimulate different feelings out of me, it is weird how you can make me happy and sad at the same time.
I caught you in an embrace, radiating the happiness that I felt for you than saying it to you.
You now soar like a bird freely in the sky that I can't help but to look up to, ignoring the fact that I can only look up to you. I don't soar like you in the sky so I'll try but then I remember I have a heavy heart, where my feelings are all locked up.
" Then count them for me Ali " I replied with a smile, slowly turning away from you.
I'm afraid, again but now I know why. I'm afraid that if I would stay a little longer I'd keep you with me and not free.
No matter what you are, what you think and what you wanted to be. I believe in you, you are one of a kind and you deserve nothing but love and acceptance.
•••
I watched how the crowd slowly dispersed around you but I chose to walk ahead to wait for you outside. Now, you've attained more achievements that you dreamed for. Now you are that diamond ring in the pile of rusty ones.
I waited outside while watching you in content. I didn't even know if I blinked at least once because all that I know is how my heart thumped loudly in my chest when you look at me.
Just like before, you had that intense gaze and twinkling eyes as you hurriedly walked up to me.
"Alicia " you said my name--our name like a prayer and I don't know how it painstakingly calmed me. You're voice had changed yet it's as gentle as it is before.
"You're beautiful tonight " I whispered as I felt the automatic tug in the corner of my lips.
I felt your hand snaking in my waist as you pulled me into a hug. You kissed my temple like you always do since we were 16 as you replied a simple thank you.
I pulled away as I look at you face, giving you another smile. You reciprocated it with another as you held my hand.
I felt the familiar warmth in my hand yet it always feel like the first time. It was like years does not pass at all and like before I don't want to let you go.
We walked through corridors side by side, talking about our lives as if we didn't plan to stop. I genuinely laughed at your silly jokes though sometimes it still leaves me dumbfounded. And like everyday, I tried so hard not to be wonder struck when I look at you.
" I still love you Ali, and I'll always will " is what I wanted to say. But instead, like everyday, I suppressed the words that my heart always wanted to say.
And like everyday, I asked instead.
" How many achievements have you attained? "
(o^^)o----------o(^^o)
Hello people! I'm back!
I just wanna know if anyone of you just happen to be curious and played the songs that I attached in each entries?
Well anyway...
This is my first time writing this kind of one shot so I want to know if it is effective or at least fine in your taste?
Does this pass as Pride Month entry?
The fanart was made by me on year 2020 and if you happen to want to see my fanarts or just know my IG. You can search for Love Demileigh~~~~
GOOD DAY!