We travelled for some time, Levi in the back with Zeke, and I driving the cart. I drove where Levi told me to drive. I knew he wanted to be alone with his thoughts after our discussion. I did too.
There was nothing I would have wanted more...if only I wasn't damaged goods. I cracked the reins a little and caused the horses to move a little faster.
Levi would have been a good father, I thought. Strict but kind. I continued as my hands drove the cart.
The night began to give way to clouds grey and ominous. And I quickly put up my hood, merely motioning for Levi to do the same. The rustle of the cloak behind me gave way to the fact he had.
That's when the heavens opened.
Thoughts of children soon gave way to Eren, and as much as I was loathed to admit it he wasn't wrong. But I would never tell him that.
Killing innocents because of our past and what has led from our past is down to the few who had used the power for greed. And then, blurring like a dream my past life came to light. Misted and dreamlike.
I gripped the reins tightly in my fist. I hadn't spared much thought to my past world. But found myself thinking more and more of it.
It made me think.
Perhaps there were people who had the blood of titans, which made sense with how some people are prone to mental health conditions and how much was still unexplained. But how could that make any sense at all?
A groan from behind me signalled Zeke was awake.
"Keep driving Layla." Levi's voice cut through the rain.
Zeke mumbled a lot. He spoke about the ending of the Eldian race, stopping our reign of terror.
I hated to admit it but it made sense hearing it from Zeke rather than Eren, but he had never been much of a explaining person. If he had put it that way, maybe she may have been swayed. Levi however wasn't the same way. He found it dissimilar to the way Zeke had turned his comrades to titans. I merely nodded- I had suspected as much.
Sensing something, I reigned the horses to a stop, and just as I was about to turn to shout, Zeke pulled his neck tight, releasing the pin from the thunder spear. I pierced my finger and dove for Levi as the spear exploded.
The night sky was awash with fire. It seemed the very world was on fire. I panted over Levi. That had been too quick and too close.
Neighs of the frightened horse who was more than likely in fire sounded around me.
I couldn't see Levi's face as his hood obscured it.
Pain seared from my back and I knew that I hadn't escaped unscathed. Slowly I moved, grunting with pain as I moved off of Levi. Was he breathing? Was he alive?
Panic began to rise in my throat like bile.
Please....please.... I prayed. Please be alive love, don't let me carry on without you!
He suddenly coughed and I breathed a sigh of relief.
My Titan body slumped. In a sitting position.
The rain still continued to pound down on my, somewhat soothingly onto my back, which met the rain with steam.
"Levi?" I said stiffly. "You ok?" I asked slowly.
He coughed again. I dare to not touch him with my Titan hands, so I removed myself, slightly, a smaller one touched his face, the rest of me still encased in Titan form. "Levi?" I asked, tears beginning to pour from my eyes, mixing with the rain. "I hurt you didn't I?"
He didn't answer, shakily I removed my hand. My worst fear had come true...I had hurt someone I cared about as a Titan. I encased myself back into my Titan form, stood with shaking legs and moved to where the smouldering cart lay. Steam issued from it like great waves. Peering through the steam I found Zeke. I wanted to rip him limb from limb for this. But the look on his face made me pause. I understood that look all too well.
I turned away. "To hell with you." I growled. "Innocent people will pay for what your plan will be."
Zeke coughed. "Please."
"No!" I screamed, the echo of it rang around me. Zeke flinched. "No! You have threatened everything I hold dear. What makes you think for one moment that I would help you?!"
He coughed again.
This time a song came to mind.
"Beware beware be skeptical, of their smiles they're smile of played gold. Deceit so natural, but a wolf in sheep's clothing is more than a warning.
Bla bla Black sheep have you any soul, no sir by the way what the hell are morals?
Jack be nimble jack be quick, Jills a little whore and her alibis are dirty tricks. So tell me how your sleeping easy, how you're only thinking of yourself? How you justify telling all your lies like second nature, listen mark my words one day, you will pay you will pay, karma's gonna come collect your debt."
It felt strange singing this through a titans vocal cords, but I had used it well enough now that it came out more like my own voice.
Zeke merely watched me, his body steaming in the rain. He was healing. I turned away and turned back to Levi. I wanted so badly to hold him, so I removed myself painfully from my Titan form and gathered him into my lap. Tears forming again, this time for no other reason that I was going to lose him.
I changed the song. One so he knew he would not be alone.
"Come stop your crying it will be alright. Just take my hand hold it tight, I will protect you from all around you. I will be here don't you cry. For one so small you seem so strong, my arms will hold you keep you safe and warm. This bond between us can't be broken. I will be here don't you cry. Cause you'll be in my heart, no matter what they say, you'll be here in my heart always." My fingers brushed his cheek, willing him to give me an angry glare about his size, but nothing happened.
I glared at Zeke.
"Do whatever the hell you want. I am going to take Levi and heal him. We'll meet again Zeke on the battlefield. And I won't take it easy on you." I pulled Levi into my arms, and went to leave.
I paused for one moment.
"Don't underestimate Eldia and the Scouts."
And then with Levi in my arms I walked away.