sometimes, silence is just so horrible at night.
Pitter patter.
That was a sound that should've been present at this hour; one that might've defied their current frightful reality had it not disappeared.
Ham Haru folded her hands together, delving into deep thought, a mug of iced coffee sat beside her while she surveillance the girl tucked in bed.
Today was March 2nd. A day considered to be a nightmare for Ham Dan-i.
...another lovely day for me to compete for an Oscar's Award. Ham Haru thought, whisking away a sip of her drink as if it were a champagne of honour to encourage her figure of speech. The gloomy mood seemed perfect for it.
"No...! That's not...!"
It wasn't long till her younger sister began shuffling in her sleep, face scrunched up in anguish. Faint whimpers of pleading and apologies followed as her quivering grip on her blankets tightened.
Then a gasp.
"...Haru...unnie...?"
Ham Haru turned to the girl who was now wide awake. However, Ham Dan-i's brown pools were gaping in distraught, as if lost in a painful reverie.
At this, her twin meekly smiled. "It's okay, dear sister. You just had a bad dream."
Ham Dan-i abruptly went to the window and jerked it open, touching its stool as if Ham Haru's words fell of deaf ears.
"...Haru unnie," Ham Dan-i's voice trembled in fear. "it was raining last night...right...?"
Ham Haru hardened her heart, forcing herself to swallow her inner conflict. She of all people knew it had rained. How could she not? After all, she had stayed up the whole night due to insomnia.
However, instead of agreeing, Ham Haru willingly released a troubled sigh; even if it meant driving her twin insane.
"Hm, I think you're mistaken? It never rained today, so you must've dreamt it."
A wave of despair crashed unto Ham Dan-i. She quickly faced Ham Haru, hoping she was merely feigning ignorance as a prank. Although, when she did, she was only met with a puzzled smile and an unnerving brown uniform that hung near the door.
It was the same uniform she had in her previous world.
Thump, thump, thump─
In this silent space, only her pounding heart seemed deafening.
She hauled her phone. 3:48 AM.
"What are you doing?" Ham Haru perked curiously, pretending to be oblivious about her sister's tumult.
Ham Dan-i didn't answer and contacted that one person she hoped to exist, a friend she cherished to the brink of breaking down if gone, a sun who brightened her days, and the none-existent moon in her darkest nights; the girl who changed her mundane life─Ban Yeoryeong.
[ The number you dialed is unknown. ]
Clinging to that shard of hope, it shattered.
Ham Dan-i dropped her hand to her side. The life in her eyes died.
It was happening again, this devastating reality. Mercilessly robbed of her own happiness and sanity, forced to swallow a harsh dose of its trickery.
Just how long was she going to endure this?
Suddenly, a pair of arms embraced her from behind, providing warmth Ham Dan-i didn't know she missed; comfort she never knew existed.
"I..." Ham Haru started. Her tone was gentle as the summer breeze. "...I don't know what you dreamt about, but don't worry. I'm here. You have someone by your side. You're not alone."
Ham Dan-i felt something well up inside her. A bottle she sealed for so long was being carved open.
"Don't worry."
"I'm here."
"You have someone by your side."
"You're not alone."
The words that sound so simple in her mediocre world filled her with longing. She used to cringe at dramas with scenes like this, laugh at something labeled as cliché, and get teary-eyed over soap opera fictions. But now she had a first-hand experience, Ham Dan-i slowly understood the depth of its value.
"Haru unnie..." Her voice was shaking, tears threatening to spill out. "does Ban Yeoryeong really not exist? What about Eunhyung? Eun Ji-ho? Ju-in? Or even Yoo Chunyoung?"
The names had yet become foreign to the ebony girl. In fact, her memories of them remained fresh. But still, she stood her ground. Resolutions, unwavering.
"...just like last time, you also came looking for them." Ham Haru sympathetically hugged her younger twin even more as if pained by Ham Dan-i's unknown strife. "Say, dear sister, could it be I had forgotten about them? Or do they simply not exist? You speak as though we were all fairly close."
A lump blocked Ham Dan-i's throat with hesitation at its finest. How could she tell her? Should she finally confide in Ham Haru? If it was her, she might believe her...even if it sounds crazy. After all, they wounded up in this webnovel-like world together, right? From the very beginning, it was always Ham Haru who encouraged her to push forward. Calming her worries, assuring her that she would always remain by Ham Dan-i's side no matter the cost─Ham Haru was one who can accept anything...even if it was absurd.
A perturbed face of Ham Haru flashed in her mind, pulling the reigns of coming clean, despair rekindled. But...what if she doesn't believe me? What if she'll just be like everyone else...? What if no one's really by my side? What if I'm really suffering alone?
"I have a feeling this isn't just a small matter. Come on, you can tell me. Whatever it is, I'll probably believe you." Ham Haru smiled kindly, contrast to the image in Ham Dan-i's fears.
Ham Dan-i's good eye blinked.
Ah...how can I forget? She's always like that. Ham Haru was the kind of person that may come out as indifferent and laid-back, although the truth is the exact opposite. Ham Dan-i knew she was the most sincere out of everyone. Her words may seem random and jesting at times, but you'd later be surprised to perceive their meanings if it ever had one.
Maybe...I can tell her. After what felt like eternity, Ham Dan-i finally mustered the courage.
"Haru unnie...will you really be willing to listen?"
The said Ham Haru pretended to mull over it. "...hm, maybe. But we'll never know till we try right? Go ahead. I'm all ears! Feel free to use me as your stress relief."
Her big sister's casual response brought her consolation. She wasn't someone out of the ordinary. Ham Haru was normal, just like her. A real person she wouldn't have to worry about disappearing if she reveals the truth.
That hour, Ham Dan-i cried her heart out to the older twin. Her sobs filled the room as she spoke her tale: the incident one year ago, and their strange rendezvous.
"─and that's what happened. The next strange thing that bothered me was when I sat in front of Ju-in's gate, crying. We met there. Apparently, you chased after me when I looked for the Four Heavenly Kings...however, when I asked you, you didn't know their whereabouts, nor their existence..." Ham Dan-i clutched on Ham Haru's hand tighter, as if the reminder drove her on edge.
"But that night when everything went back to how it was─Yeoryeong, Eunhyung, Yoo Chunyoung, Eun Ji-ho alive and present after Ju-in found me─you had no memory of forgetting them at all. You didn't even remember meeting me in front of Ju-in's house...even now...do you not recall those events?"
A shadow casted upon Ham Haru's face as she smiled. "...No. I'm sorry, but I don't remember them. Ah, I do know we met outside this 'Ju-in's' house. But other than that, they're nothing but a blur."
Ham Dan-i's frown deepened. "I see..." Drips of hot tears fell from her eyes. "Haru unnie...what should I do...? I'm just so confused...I don't know what to do...even if I tell you everything now, you'll still forget it when I come back to that world again...when that happens, I'll be all alone again...!" She buried her face between her knees as she wept bitterly. Once more, her toiling efforts will be futile.
Ham Haru patted her back to relax her tense shoulders, noticing Ham Dan-i's anxiety. She ruminated for a while. Indeed, what would one do in this situation? Something rational, maybe.
"You know," Ham Haru took a sip from her coffee, wondering what else to say before continuing. "after hearing what you had to say about those 'Four Heavenly Kings' and this 'Ban Yeoryeong', they sound like good people. They genuinely like you as a friend, and they're willing to be with you no matter what..."
The younger Ham looked up at her sister who met her with clear eyes devoid of falsity.
"sounds kind of like me, huh~? In that case, my advice would be─trust them."
Ham Haru took her sleeve and wiped the tears escaping the brunette's eyes. "I don't know them...for now, maybe, but I do believe they are your real friends."
"That said," She pulled Ham Dan-i up and shoved her on the bed. The brunette stumbled on the soft beddings as she glanced back at Ham Haru. For a moment, just for a moment, Ham Dan-i caught a forlorn glint on her older twin's brown pools.
"Go back to your world, dear sister."
My world...?
Linking her arms behind her, Ham Haru's lips formed a thin line, unreadable.
"Everything you told me defies common sense, but I believe the supernatural things occuring are very much real. Therefore, you have to go back."
"I don't understand─" Before Ham Dan-i could finish, Ham Haru did a karate chop on her and the brunette's body went limp.
Coating her sleeping younger sister with a comfy blanket, Ham Haru took her mug of coffee, killed the lights, and exited the room.
Running a hand through her charcoal crown of glory, she began scribbling a tiny note at the counter in the kitchen. She then gulped down the last drop of drink she had before leaving the paper in Ham Dan-i's room.
Ham Haru packed her things and dragged an umbrella with her, departing from the apartment door, till the apartment complex itself.
The chilly breeze swept her hair as she stood in the lonesome midnight. No traces of rain.
The distant lights of buildings seemed to lit up the area, as if provoking her to curse its liveliness she could never relate to. Had it been like the days of the past, it would've been a pleasure to succumb to such emotions. But of what worth does it hold now?
4:55 AM. Ham Haru checked her phone with apathetic eyes, one that appeared to hide a decade old's promise, a secret buried deep within them.
Two more hours left. The scene last time was a bit dramatic compared now. Nonetheless, I was able to convince Ham Dan-i. For now, I just have to find a place to stay while waiting to return to that novel world.
She kept her phone inside her sling bag and began walking away, again set to embark on a pilgrim's way. Another journey full of friendship, love, tragedy and deception.
....
6:30 AM.
Ham Dan-i found herself in her sheets, snoozing peacefully without a hitch. Her sister, nowhere.
She yanked herself up. What happened? How much time had passed? Her mind started brimming with questions. However, the noise of the loud, pouring rain outside settled them all.
The brunette looked to her front, her oddly pink and white uniform replaced the brown one again. Uncertain, she pulled out her phone to check her call history. It showed that Ban Yeoryeong missed a call from Ham Dan-i that very 3 in the morning.
That wasn't a dream. I went back to that 'world'.
Ham Dan-i stared at her phone. Then did this mean her sister was really here? That she wasn't alone this time?
A note on her desk caught her eye. It said: Aunt Jieun called so I needed to leave before you woke up. You were shifting a lot in your sleep. Had a nightmare? Well, that's normal. But do mind I prefer kisses over kicking next time, okay~? Also, tell mom I'll probably be back before dinner. Love, your daily dose of your dearest, beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, lovable twin Haru♡
Relief bubbled inside Ham Dan-i. Her older twin must've lost all of her recollection again about the events last night when they returned to this 'world'. And yet, even so, Ham Haru was still capable of easing her troubles.
"Go back to your world, dear sister."
What did she mean by that? Ham Dan-i couldn't help but wonder. However, it was too late for queries as Ham Haru probably won't remember that.
She glimpse back to her phone.
...what if this is just a dream...I don't care who it is, I want to hear someone's voice and confirm it.
Pushing the buttons, she contacted Kwon Eunhyung.
"sounds kind of like me, huh~? In that case, my advice would be─trust them."
The serene grin Ham Haru plastered crossed Ham Dan-i's line of thought. It stuck to her mind like glue. The way she assured her when her feelings were in turmoil. It didn't feel...new.
Why does it feel...like this wasn't the first time Haru unnie held me like this...? We were like that when we were younger...but why does everything feel strangely familiar...?
It was always like this. It felt as if history was repeating itself once more, trapped in an infinite rewind.
The sense of...
deja vu.