police: license and registration please
luke: okay, here
police: ...
luke: ...
police: sir, this is a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.
*********
sammy: life is like a soup and i'm a spork. i got kinda got it. i kinda don't.
*********
april: andy, why are you standing on top of the table?
andy: this is my house. my dwelling, i can stand where ever i please
april: .... where is the spider
andy: under the table.
******
dagger: you look nice today.
devyn: why are you so nice today? you kill somebody?
*******
dagger: why is it whenever i'm having fun, it's 'wrong'
lj: because your ideas of having fun are illegal
dagger: that's what makes them fun dumbass
********
troye: son of a bi-
jess: there are children here!
troye: sssscuit- son of a biscuit
jess: nice save
troye: yeah fucking nailed that shit
********
dillon: so you vocal in bed
colby: nah i'm more the lead guitarist, and my fingers are efficient enough to hit anyone's deepest note.
*******
dagger: i will serve crack before i serve this fucking country
********
devyn: * crying over a fight with zander*
dagger: dude you are crying over a guy who still can't even properly write a thesis statement.
********
fs road trip.
troye: what the fuck is traffic? just fucking go homie. if everyone does it then traffic is just not existent.
joey: and this is why you can't drive anymore. for saying stupid shit like that.
*******
blair: why is there so much trash in your room.
ryan: he feels more at home if he is surrounded by things like him.
alec:....
alec: i fucking hate you.
*********
little lj: hey aunty dove, are you and uncle harry dating?
dove: *cuddling up to harry, smiling laughing and shit* no what the fuck gave you that idea?
***********
harry: how dumb do alex and dove think we are
luke: well alex sometimes sends me pictures instead of a grocery list.
**********
troye, to dillion: bro you taking mad shit for someone that's within kissing distance of me.
***********
dagger: i have invited you all to play the world's most deadliest game.
quinten: ah yes the classic knife monopoly.
dagger:.... no, i was gonna hunt you all down for sport but now i am interested... continue
************
quinten: fuck i wanna die.
max: *covers tori's ears* language!
quinten: sorry
quinten: *sighs*
quinten: hecky heck, i crave death.
************
devyn: wow i am tired.
sammy: go relax! give me the recipe i will make dinner!
* fifty minutes later*
sammy: um, dev... i think we are out of 'oven'
**************
max: lj,
lj: yes?
max: tori is in danger.
dagger: have you considered keeping a more watchful eye on her? maybe lock her up somewhere in a cell?
***********
dottie: who do i kill?!
dagger: honestly i don't care.
fake dagger: kill him! i love you!
dottie: *shoots fake dagger*
dagger: hmm..
dottie: you would never say the 'l' word.
dagger: my actions speak for me.
*********
colby: you know what is lacking in your life? romance.
jess: i don't need romance.
jess: i just need cheese sticks.
***********
dagger: GUYS! GUESS WHAT! i prevented a murder today! i know call me a fucking hero.
devyn: wow really? i am honestly shocked how did you do it?
dagger: i controlled myself 😌
***********
ace to dagger: none of us are scared of you!
blake: not gonna lie... i kinda am.
ace: in times like this it is best to shut the fuck up.
**********
dove: we gotta talk about your will Al.
alec: what about it?
dove: all it says is bury me with seven extra bones to fuck with archeologists.
alec: and? you not gone respect my last wishes?
***********
skylar: you want me to be happy right?
chance: not if it affects me negatively in anyway.
***********
colby: jacccccyyyyy
jacy: yes?
colby: my finger hurts.
jacy: come here *kisses finger*
colby: *blushes* uuhhh well my cheek hurts too.
jacy: *kisses his cheek*
colby: something else hurts
jacy: what?
colby: ...
colby; my dic-
************
dagger: if you get really mad, stop, count to five.
spencer: *listening*
dexter: that's actually good adv-
dagger: then punch them as hard as you can. that dove second delay will really surprise them.
***********