"You're ignoring me," Tomas said as he entered our bedroom. I was changing out of my clothes for the day and into my pyjamas. I was in my bra and panties when Tomas entered the room. He shut the bedroom door behind him as he came over to me. I will admit that a mixture of lust and apprehension washed over me. I had never and will never fear Tomas, but I was apprehensive about our intimacy. Now that I can remember the past and I know of part of my future, I am anxious about taking that step towards creating this required child. We had enough on our plate and enough to deal with without bringing in another issue. The revolution required my attention right now, and if I got pregnant, the Warlock and keeping the child, myself and Tomas alive would split my focus.
"I'm not; I'm busy." This wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth. In the last two weeks, since Clara had given me back my memory and showed us the prophecy, I had been dealing with more revolution matters. A defective bomb had been found 3 miles North of my pack lands, and the security team saw another rogue scanning the parameter, which has tightened security now.
As per my request, Alpha Reed had also come to the Pack Lands and told me all he knew about Vince and what had happened to him.
"When did he leave?" I asked Alpha Reed as we sat in my office. He saw all of my plans and my intelligence on the Rebellion.
"About four months ago. I went to his flat one day because he hadn't paid child support and found it empty. Much of his stuff and furniture was still there, so I thought he had gone on a trip and told no one. I tried contacting him in Wolf and Human ways, but there were no dice. I kept his flat the same way he left it for six weeks, and I put out on the Wolf Wide Web that he was 'missing', but no hits, so I gave his ex-breeders control of the flat, and they sold everything." Finally, Alpha Reed admitted to me and shrugged his shoulders in confusion.
"How does someone just disappear?"
"I let my wolves come and go."
"No - one at the gates records when people leave?"
"We do, which is why I know that Vince left four months and 12 days ago. So when you called me and told me that Vince was part of this Rebellion, I checked his movement log back."
"And?" I asked impatiently.
"He started coming and going from the pack lands more frequently about a month before he left entirely. He would leave at different times and return hours, sometimes days later. He stopped coming to pack celebrations and meetings. He became a recluse, and we put it down to the fact that the truth about who you were - are - came out. He was one of the most vocal and angry about the fact that you are the Moon Goddess. He was furious about your proposed Breeder changes." Alpha Reed sat across from me and on the other side of my desk.
"Him and many others,"
"In my pack, it was Vince, and then when females started getting mates, it was Peter. He didn't want to lose Nina, but then you came out with the fact that you could make people mates, which mollified him."
"But not Vince,"
"No, not Vince. If anything, he was angrier. I guess he thought that with you changing the 'rules' we had all grown up with, it meant he had even less of a chance with a mate."
"You know as well as I that he didn't deserve a mate."
"And I think he knew that, and your thoughts and feelings on him amplified his hatred."
"He wants me gone."
"And his life back."
"A lot of people are feeling that sentiment. Being Earthbound is pissing them off, and me changing their way of life back to what it should be anger a small percentage of people."
"Anyone else gone missing?"
"Not from my pack, but my two neighbours, yeah." I looked at him shrewdly because I knew the truth, but he had more information than I needed. I would call out his misinformation later.
"How do you know this?" I asked, leaning forward and grabbing a pen and paper.
"When Vince was missing for over a week, I asked my neighbours if they had seen him. Of course, they hadn't, but it made them realise that some of their members had gone."
"Got names?"
"When you asked me to come here, I went to my closest two packs." Alpha Reed reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a piece of lined paper. Reed had folded it twice, unfolding it and pushing it across the desk towards me. There was a list of 4 names from two packs.
Mike Hurst - Dixie Pack
Russell Wilks - Sawtooth Pack
Jackie Wilks - Sawtooth Pack
Waylon Kilt - Dixie Pack
"And these men all had previous breeder issues?"
"Yeah, I asked the Alphas."
"I will regret asking, but what did they do?"
MIKE HURST
28 and living with the Dixie Pack in Utah.
He has no mate and one breeder, who he has two children by
No employment and charged with gross negligence
His breeder and baby were found dead at the house due to Carbon Monoxide Poisoning from a tampered pipe with Mike's fingerprints.
He admitted to attempting to 'fix' the pipe but was charged with negligence, and his living child, his son, was taken and raised by Mike's sister - a non-breeder. He says he didn't want his breeder to die, but reports say he was outraged when she gave birth to a girl the second time around, and neighbours saw his breeder with bruises just before her death. He was refused a second breeder.
RUSSELL AND JACKIE WILKS
40 and 30 years old and living with the Sawtooth Pack in Idaho
They have been mated for five years, but Russell has two ex-breeders. He has ten children with the ex-breeders and none with his mate.
He was the Principal of the Pack High School, and she was a cook.
Reports are his mate was furious that the breeders were getting "their hard-earned money", and she was hurt that they could not have children. They did not want breeders to be treated as citizens. She wanted mated couples to decide the fate of the children and not include the breeders in their choices. Russell was a good dad until he met Jackie.
WAYLON KILT
46 and living with the Dixie Pack in Utah
No mate and no breeder
He was denied getting a breeder after killing his parents when he was 16. He killed his parents because the Alpha told me they had come to his father asking for permission to marry and be mated rather than breeder and owner. His father loved his mother, but Waylon was teased and ostracised by his friends because his parents were going against the rules. He does not want breeders and non-breeders to be allowed to be anything more than owners and property.
"This Russell seems controlled by his mate."
"Yeah, I asked Alpha Connell about Jackie Wilks, and he called her a ball buster. She grew up in the Sawtooth Pack, not Russell. Jackie and Russell met at a teaching conference five years ago, and Russell was living with the Tonto Pack in Arizona. His ex-breeder and children still live there."
"That's unheard of." Generally, the women transfer to the men's pack, not vice versa.
"Exactly," Alpha Reed nodded his head. "Russell went from having this huge family, a job at the High School, and he seemed happy to living hours away from his children and just having his mate."
"For some, a mate is enough."
"Yeah, but for Russell, from what I've heard, he missed his children, and Jackie would not let him see them."
"Why?"
"They were under ten and needed their mothers to accompany them. Jackie didn't want them around."
"And doesn't want to pay for them either."
"No, and you were about to make it so that the Breeders had more legal rights and could charge more for child support."
"So Russell is probably in this Revolution because Jackie is."
"Yeah, you know the mate bond, you made it. It's a strong force we are not prepared to fight against. We are designed to make our mates happy, and that seems to be what Russell is doing."
"That poor man, his poor children," I said as I shook my head. I can admit when I fucked up with pairings, I fucked up with these two. "If I find Russell Wilks, I will give him the option of a better mate," I promised. I looked back and re-read the piece of paper again. "And Waylon...he seems...angry."
"That's one way to put it."
"What happened with his parents?"
"Terry and Elizabeth were in love, according to Alpha Bear, and his father saw it. It would be best to remember this was 30 years ago, and many more people were misogynistic or hateful towards breeders. We were all slowly accepting that many of us would never have mates. Alpha Bear Snr was okay with the fact that Terry and Elizabeth loved each other, and actually, he was happy for them. However, permitting them to marry was his last order as Alpha. He died six months later." Alpha Reed explained. "Terry and Elizabeth had three children; Waylon was their youngest, and he caused haemorrhaging when he was born, so Elizabeth lost her womb. Many thought Terry would get rid of her then, but instead, he stuck around and raised their three young children with her, and I think Terry had loved Elizabeth long before this happened." It was so sweet and heartwarming that even in the darkest of times and moments, that true love was there.
"They were probably true mates."
"Yes, we can see that now with you back, but 30 years ago, Terry was a weirdo. It didn't matter for Waylon's elder brothers, Clark and Reece, because they were moved out and moved on, but Waylon was living at home and still in school. When it was out that his parents were marrying, many met the news with anger, concern, and disgust instead of happiness and celebration. Waylon bore the brunt of people's feelings. He resented his parents for going against societal norms and hated that their choice greatly affected his life. He got drunk one night and lashed out. He killed his parents and burned the family home down."
"What happened to him after that?"
"Evidence came out that he did it, but it took two years to find this evidence," Reed sighed. "He was charged with murder, but he was only charged with his father's murder. He got 25 years and got out three years ago. He wanted children, not because of any other reason than to have an heir, and Alpha Bear Jnr said no, and when it came out that you were you, he lost it. Breeders were not breeders, and I think a part of him realised that his mother was a wolf and not a breeder at that point. He struggled with the fact that he had killed his parents, a genuine mated pair. He's unhinged and yelled at Alpha Bear Jnr a week before the bombing on you."
"Okay," I said, confusion in my voice.
"He has a PhD in Chemistry." The shoe dropped. He was a bomb expert.
"How is that possible?" I almost yelled.
"When you spend 23 hours in a cell, you have time. He got a degree, a doctorate and his PhD. He's smart, and I don't doubt that he made that bomb."
"Then who made that defective one?"
"You found a defective one?"
"Yeah, last week."
"Are you sure it is defective?"
"It is now; I used my magic on it." I looked down at the list and sighed. "I'll have someone have a look at it again."
"I have someone. I'll call her."
"Thank you," I shook my head again. "So they have a bomb expert, fantastic."
"Have you found other missing wolves?"
"Yeah, we've got quite a list, and I've got a deflector looking at new people whenever I get them."
"How big are we talking here?"
"Small pack, about 100 wolves from all over America and Canada."
"Any from Europe? Asia? Africa?"
"No, those packs are small, and some have been disbanded due to being run out. Anyway, my brother got run out of Europe. He turned back into himself in the mid-1500s when he met a witch. He killed Thomas out of revenge and then went to the Americas. The wolves here were less organised than the European lot so he could control them better. So he created the council and used what little magic he had stolen from me 1000 years ago to create the breeder program. So when I came back 300 years ago, he knew I was here, and the breeder program was in its early stages. He kept it quiet, and although the Warlock was the one who killed me last time, I still believe my brother had something to do with it. As soon as I was dead, that program took off like a lightning bolt."
"You shouldn't blame yourself for this program."
"I don't,"
"You do; I can see it. Yes, he was your brother, and he made the program using your magic, but if you'd known about all this earlier, you would have done something. So you're doing something now."
"I should have -"
"What? You cursed him, which is all you could have done. How were you to know a witch would help him? You can't see everything." Reed butted in. "So we have 100 wolves from how many packs?"
"At least two, sometimes three from each pack in the US," There are 40 packs in the United States, and then each of the eight regions in Canada was split in two, so they had 16 sacks. "Then ten from Canada."
"Which packs aren't affected in Canada?"
"Terra Nova, Yukon, Torngat, Waterton, Yoho, Sable Island, Sirmilik and Wapusk."
"So half?"
"Point Pelee Pack lost three, and the rest lost one."
"So I lost..."
"Vince and Charles,"
"Charles left months before Vince."
"Yes, but these pictures," I said, handing Reed pictures and details about Charles Monroe. I found them in the cave where Adam had taken his interview. "Explain where he went."
"He was so quiet."
"His breeder left him, didn't she? She ran away."
"Yeah, I let her."
"Yeah, not sure if he is angry at you or me, but he knows we are allies, and he is baying for blood. He is one of the more vocal supporters and has become a scout. He, Derek, a man called Trevor, and one named Keith have been scouting followers in the US. Then there is one in Canada; that might be why there are fewer pack deserters from Canada."
"I should have done more."
"Now, who's blaming themselves?" I shook my head at Reed. "No, we both did our best, but these things happen, and now we need to fix it."
"Do you have any idea where they are hiding?"
"No, they keep bouncing. As soon as I get a read on where they could be, they're gone again." I growled low in my voice.
"I'll send my bomb expert to you as soon as I get home."
"Thank you,"
"Selene," Tomas said as he came towards me. "You're avoiding me, and I know why; you're scared."
"I am not -"
"You are; you're apprehensive because you can remember when we lost our last child, and you're worried about the prophecy. I know you are scared that this will split your focus, but even if we have a child and the Warlock comes, it is a different time, and we can protect your child."
"We cannot deal with both problems at the same time."
"You need to have more faith in yourself."
"I have been killed twice, lost you twice, and restarted my life three times. I cannot lose you again, I won't, and we are already dealing with a massive problem. If we add a child to this, the Warlock will hunt again, and we are pulling ourselves in two, and we risk losing everything again."
"So we use protection and take precautions, just don't shut me out," Tomas begged me, and he came towards me, placing his hands on each side of my arms. I looked up and stared at him. I could not lose him again, especially now I could remember my past lives. I remember the smell of his blood, the wetness between my fingers, and the feeling of being shot. I can remember the happiness and love going through me when I was pregnant. I can remember the sadness and pain I felt when I died.
"I can remember the feeling of losing you," I whispered, and he stroked my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear.
"You always ran that risk when trying to remember, but you need to use the past, not let it scare you." He whispered back. "Remember what the prophecy said; you must remember the past to make this our last."
"Our souls can't be at peace because we kept being murdered."
"Yeah, so let's live this life so we can get off this merry-go-round called life." I chuckled at him as I leaned up and kissed him.