The next day, Song Yan went to school early in the morning because he didn't sleep well all night. He had two thick dark circles on his face.
When he arrived in the classroom, he saw Xia Lin sitting in the seat by the window. Like every morning, with his head down and intently meditating English words.
The morning sun of spring was scattered on half of his face through the edge of the window, alternating light and dark. The curvature of the face is clearly visible, making his skin white and delicate.
Song Yan was in a trance for a moment. He wondered how he had never associated Xia Lin with the word "good-looking" before.
Since childhood, Xia Lin has been inseparable from him.
They played truant, played pranks together, and even took off their clothes and went to splash in the water... In his concept, Xia Lin is almost like his other self. They are so good that they could hardly be distinguished from each other.
But since when did Xia Lin begin to alienate him? Was it after he came back from Australia or when Xia Lin no longer wanted to take a bath with him a few years ago?
Perhaps it was the distance that produced beauty. When Xia Lin pushed him farther and farther, he suddenly realized that Xia Lin's appearance was no longer what he remembered. He was taller and thinner than before. . . and more attractive.
Song Yan just stood at the door of the classroom and stared at Xia Lin until after the other party had memorized a set of words. Xia Lin raised his head in a sigh and they looked at each other.
A subtle awkward atmosphere filled the air.
Xia Lin looked at him in silence for a moment, then lowered his head like a stranger, and continued to recite the next set of words.
Song Yan returned to his senses abruptly, remembering the purpose of his trip, took a deep breath, strode to the desk of Xia Lin, and said in an awkward tone of being strong in the outside world: "Xia Lin, let's talk."
Xia Lin raised his head and looked at him again, neither saying good nor bad.
Zhou Shuo consciously got up from his seat, walked to another girl who had arrived early in the classroom, and said blankly: "Can you come out with me?"
The girl suddenly raised her head, her face flushed. Zhou Shuo looked at her strangely and repeated: "Classmate, can you come out with me?"
"Okay... OK."
The girl seemed a little nervous and at a loss. She subconsciously pulled the hem of her school uniform and then followed Zhou Shuo out.
After all the idlers and others had cleared away, Song Yan stammered and said: "Regarding what happened before...the night before, Zhou Shuo told...told me, in fact..."
"I know," Xia Lin interrupted him coldly, "You are drunk. How can I care about a drunkard?"
Song Yan was stunned for a moment and suddenly felt aggrieved: "Since you don't care about it, why did you blacklist me?"
Xia Lin looked at him: "I don't care, it doesn't mean I don't want to blacklist you."
"Fvck, how can you be so unreasonable."
"Why should I reason with you?" Xia Lin tilted his head and looked at him provocatively. "The phone belongs to me. It is my freedom to block who I love to black out. Do I have to get your consent in advance?"
Song Yan was dumbfounded by the question and was speechless for a while. Xia Lin's simple and rude way of breaking off friendship has refreshed his worldview.
The two stood in a stalemate in silence for a long time and finally, Song Yan gave in first: "Xia Lin, can we speak well? You must give me a reason."
"Because I am gay and you are not."
"What's wrong with homosexuality? I don't mind anymore, you still..."
"Birds of a feather flock together. We are not the same kind of people and don't walk the same way."
Song Yan was about to burst into anger and he began to speak without hesitation: "Okay, Xia Lin, if you have to divide this way, that's okay. Starting today, I am also gay, and I like men too. Are you satisfied ?!"
Xia Lin looked at him with a smile. But it was a smile as if watching an unreasonable kid.
What he said next was cold: "Do you think homosexuality is like a child playing house? Have you ever known this group? Have you experienced the hardship of this road? Can you imagine how much harm your family will endure after knowing your sexuality?
No homosexual would take the initiative to harm his family. They are all forced to be helpless. They are marginalized by this society. They also want to integrate into society but they are not allowed or accepted. Song Yan, If you are still straight, then cherish your current self. There is no need to push yourself into that dead-end, otherwise, you will regret it one day."