"The moon is there for you tonight. I feel the beating of your heart and you should forget it for a while. We're not just friends, I know you want me to stop the time,"
REMUS LUPIN
ONE WEEK UNTIL BALL
Chatter from the great hall swells around my ears but I can't make out a single sound. Cordelia is setting Christmas decorations up around the hall and something about the sight has me captivated. Especially when she stands on the tip of her toes to place something just out of her reach.
"Hurry up Remus!" James reprimands from across the table as he looks at my plate of untouched lunch. A ham sandwich, pretzels and apple juice. The usual mundane meal.
I groan and look between my all of my friends. James, Sirius, Peter, Frank, Lily, Alice, Marlene, Mary and Dorcas. We're all planning to see each other over winter holiday. So, I really don't see the need for these large gatherings every Friday.
I take a bite out of my sandwich, "I don't think I'm going, mate."
"Why not?" Sirius asks from besides James. "Don't you care about spending time with your dear friends before we graduate," It's meant to be a joke, but much of what Sirius has been saying has been irritating me lately.
I feel terrible because I know this is hardly about graduation, and completely about fear of the war. How much longer will we have to pretend it doesn't affect us? Still, i'm not so keen on the gryffindor-only rule they implicated.
I'm beginning to realize nothing is as fun if Cordelia isn't involved. There's no way to describe it, and I don't want to compare it. I can only say that I want to do everything with her. I'm beginning to feel something intense, and it's going to be the beginning and the end of everything.
"Of course I do," I roll my eyes, "I just think i'm gonna sit this one out. I'll go next time, I promise." I try and reassure. James and Sirius look at each other warily before carrying out their own conversation.
I lean down to my left to whisper in Lily's ear, "Is something different about Cordelia today?"
It's as if I physically can't keep my eyes off of her. So many thoughts are crashing in my head and i'm using all my willpower to keep them at bay.
Lily raises her brows and follows my gaze, she does a once over of Cordelias figure and nods understandingly. "She's wearing knee socks with her skirt instead of joggers or tights like she usually does,"
I scratch the back of my neck. Really, Remus? You're sixteen years old, nearly getting a hard on over a bloody skirt?
Lily clears her throat, "You know..." She trails off, "I'm pretty sure everyone else is going on the trip to hogsmeade. And we have a lot of shopping to do,"
I look at her blankly. "Huh?"
She sighs and looks to the rest of the group to make sure they're occupied with their conversations.
"We are going to be gone for a very long time Rem..." Lily widens her eyes and tilts her head as if that will help me understand her double meaning.
"Lils, I have no clue what you're trying to say,"
"Merlin, Remus! Do I have to spell it out for you?" Lily whisper shouts. "No one will be in the dorm for a few hours...might be a good chance to ask Cordelia to, I dunno...study..."
I hold Lily's stare for a moment, then it clicks. My cheeks warm up in a fiery blush, "Oh! What? No, Lily! It's not-we're not-" I cut myself and sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. Incessant rambling.
Cordelia and I are just friends.
In the most complicated sense of the word.
And Sirius still means the world to me, as much as I hate to admit it. If I were a raindrop he would be the cloud. He's had my heart since we were children, but exploring this relationship is something I have to do for myself, for me.
I mean all my life i've been worrying about him, worrying about his well-being, but while I was out saving his emotions, was he out for me? No, no he wasn't, and Cordelia is the first step into that reality. She's proof that someone can truly care for my feelings, and even understand them.
"Calm down," She chuckles. "It was just an idea,"
I could ask Cordelia to come by the dorm. I do still have her potions homework to do...
"Maybe I should ask her," I mutter. Nothing explicit will happen anyways, i'm not nearly as bold without alcohol in my system.
Lily pats me on the shoulder, exactly like James when he gives his words of encouragement. "Go ahead, I'll cover for you," I look at her unsurely. "We should be leaving in a few minutes anyways, I promise I've got your back," Lily winks.
"Thanks," I say as I stand up. The best and worst thing about being in gryffindor is how easy it is to slip through the cracks. If you aren't vocal enough, you're simply forgotten. Out of sight, out of mind. This however, tends to work in my favour when I need to get away.
I cross the hall of people beginning to exit their seats. Knee-high black socks. I catch myself staring at Cordelia's legs and avert my gaze. A hot blush rising to my cheeks.
Just my luck, Cordelia spots me. She whispers something quick into Iris' ear and waves goodbye. Amos grabs Cordelia by the hand and furrows his brows as he looks down at her. Amos' gaze flickers from Cordelia to me, and I offer and tight lipped smile and wave.
He does nothing but nod in my direction and walk away with Iris.
Cordelia approaches and i'm hit with the scents of french vanilla coffee and cigarettes. "How are we feeling today Remmy?" She asks.
Have her lips always been so full?
"Hm? Uh, good." I look at her and nod awkwardly.
"You don't seem good," She deadpans. "Why are you acting so off?"
"I'm not, I just wanted to see if you'd like to hang out back at my dorm with me?"
Cordelia inhales sharply. Switches her weight from her right foot to her left. "Like, alone?" She breathes. And that's it. Something shifts in the air. A thick blanket of tension placed meticulously over our heads.
Why does she do this to me?
I try my best to keep my eyes foreword, but I have to glance at her socks again. "Yes, but just to study, y'know?" I meet her gaze again.
She shakes her head as she chuckles, my favourite habit of hers. "Of course, what else for?" She motions towards the door, "Lead the way,"
The walk out of the great hall is silent. The walk up the stairs is quiet. The walk to the gryffindor common room is quiet. And the walk up the dormitory stairs is quiet too.
Cordelia kicks off her white sneakers at the door and jumps onto my bed. I laugh quietly as I sit down at the desk.
"So we're doing potions homework, yeah?" Cordelia asks. She pulls a few papers out from her bag and makes herself comfortable on my bed.
I also grab a few things from my backpack and place them on the desk. "Yeah,"
Cordelia rolls from her stomach onto her back.
"Well I suppose I'll just wait until you're done with yours so I can copy it,"
Unable to find my words, I nod and try my best to focus on the questions written in front of me. Recently, i've found myself wanting so badly to lie down next to her on my bed, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like last time. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. In the most childish manner.
But right now is not like those other endearing moments.
Right now, i'd like to fuck her.
"Remus?" I look up at the mention of my name. Cordelia bites her lip. Sits up. "It might be a bit easier for me to copy if you aren't so far away,"
Have her eyes always been so doe-like ?
"Right," I agree quickly. I fumble with the homework sheet, my textbook and my quill, bringing them over to my bed to sit down next to her.
After a few silent minutes that felt like hours I complete the work.
"I finished."
Cordelia faces me completely and I swear she keeps looking at my lips. "What should we do?"
I hold my breath. "Whatever you want to,"
In an instant—Cordelia kisses me. I throw the school supplies to the floor. I can't help but smile into the kiss as I feel my cheeks grow warm. She wraps her arms around my shoulders as she climbs onto my lap and straddles me. My hands instinctively grab at her waist. She breaks away from me and briefly speaks into my ear, her warm breath on my neck driving me wild.
Cordelia bites her lip and looks into my eyes. "Wait-wait," She pants breathlessly, "I thought we agreed no meaningless sex?"
My eyes dart from hers to her lips, and I can't keep the smirk off my face. "Oh? Who said anything about sex?"
She rolls her eyes and kisses me again, her tongue teasing my lips, sending sparks throughout my body. Cordelia rolls her hips against mine, causing me to groan into her. My hands roam underneath her top and I can feel her shiver.
I pull away again and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Im a twit for saying that. How could we ever be meaningless?"
"We're not just friends," She breathes. A conferment.
I trace her jawline with my finger, "No, we're not."
Cordelia doesn't ask what we are, and I get the feeling she doesn't care.
She glances downwards and sees the outline of my wand in my pocket, and she reaches slowly to grab it. I watch her and my breath hitches as she pulls it out, and points it over my shoulder at the door and mutters, "Muffliato."
I front the courage I don't have. "I like where this is going," Cordelia rolls her hips against me again, whether on accident or on purpose I don't know. "Trying to tease me, Delia?"
"What if I am?"
I let out a scoff and narrow my eyes at her. I remove my hand from the small of her back and wrap it around her throat, she bites back a small whimper. I teasingly push up the hem of her shirt, "Take it off," My voice comes out rough, gravelly, and a sly smile crosses my face.
Cordelia smirks defiantly, "Why don't you do it?"
I glance down momentarily at her chest, but tighten my grip on her throat and bring my lips to her ear. "Nice try, Darling..." I say. "Do as your told..."
I gently let go of her neck as she reaches down and pulls her button up over her head, dropping it to the ground next to us. She's not wearing a bra, and the corners of my mouth turn up into a smirk.
Cordelia grabs me by my collar and pulls me in, meeting me in a deep kiss. She bites down on my lip and lightly pulls, making me release a low moan into her mouth, and I press her body closer to mine.
I leave her lips to plant a trail of kisses down her neck and chest, leaving love bites all over her breasts. Cordelias head lulls back and she lets out a gasping breath, then she grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls back just enough to make me look at her.
"Let me make you feel good," She purrs, bringing shivers down my spine. She stands up between my legs and my heart rate increases drastically. My mouth is barley open, my hard-on pushes against my waistband as I sit on the edge, propping myself up with my hands.
Cordelia leans down and kisses me, our tongues intertwining desperately, and she starts to rub me over my trousers. I groan into her and kiss harder, pulling her closer by the back of the neck. "Get on your knees." I whisper.
There's a sharp knock at the door.
"Remus? You in there? It's Peter, i've decided to stay back too,"
I cover my face with a pillow and shout into it as Cordelia quickly picks one of my sweaters up off the floor and throws it on.
Peter knocks again. "Remus? Hello?"
Cordelia smoothes out her hair and pecks my lips, "To be continued," she whispers with a devious smirk before putting her shoes on.
"No, no, no, he'll go away eventually..."
Cordelia makes a tsk sound and unlocks the door. "Hello, Peter," She greets as she slips past him out the door.
"Er-hi," He says awkwardly. I watch Peter in intense resentment and place a pillow over myself.
"I wasn't interrupting something, was I?"
Song: we're not just friends by parks, squares and alleys (linked at top^^)
soo obviously there's going to be smut coming up and i was wondering if y'all had any requests/ ideas? Like kinks, scenarios, any stuff like that yk