Just me and you, the words kept repeating on William's mind. Even if he knew it didn't actually mean anything. It didn't mean that Aydan had feelings for him, that was a no-brainer, and it didn't necessarily mean things would be the same between them again — but William was happy still and all.
His disobedient heart fluttered every time those words came to his mind, just because it knew they would spend the weekend together. William noticed it was the first time he was actually feeling eager about something after that Day. Even if it was just a weekend with a friend, he was more than happy to spend it with Aydan.
Despite all that William was dead tired, because he had stayed up till 5 am just to finish the essay, which he had planned to do after the movie.
It just happened to be so that William had eaten and then fallen asleep as soon as he got to his room. There had been other homework as well, thus it took him half night to finish them all. College was no child's play.
Even with all the coffee, the drowsiness didn't go away. He was uncertain if he should drive them to the beach house, it might be dangerous to get behind the wheel.
''I can drive.'' Aydan offered, when he appeared behind the door and saw the dark circles under his friend's eyes. ''And you should sleep.''
That was exactly what William did. Aydan listened radio and drove while William napped leaning his cheek against the window.
The next time William opened his eyes, he wasn't in the car anymore. He studied the room disorientedly, not quite fathoming where he was. A smell of fresh coffee and toasting bread came from the kitchen, and that was probably what awoke William, whose stomach was rumbling loudly.
He got up from the sofa and looked around in the familiar room: the white sofa, numerous blue cushions, the coffee table made of fair birch, the big windows and the beautiful seascape he could see through them. It was Aydan's family's beach house, where he had been numerous times.
So, William knew where he was, but there was one considerable question left to ask..
''Did you carry me here?'' He exclaimed as soon as he spotted Aydan in the kitchen.
''Yup.'' Aydan answered like it was the most casual thing a friend does to another.
''But I am taller than you.'' William scrupled.
''Yeah, like an inch. You're such a lightweight — or maybe I'm just strong.'' Aydan was in good mood, there was no doubt of that.
''You should have woken me up..'' William muttered, feeling embarrassed knowing he had been carried in like a kid.
''Are you hungry? There's toast and coffee.'' Aydan said then, and William's heart started another drum solo once he saw Aydan had set the food on the table for him. It was something he had never done before.
Don't be so nice to me: I could get used to this and then I can never stop loving you, William thought. Yes, it was just a small act of kindness, but for William it felt like love.
Then they ate and had coffee while Aydan twaddled about his plans to go see his big bother, Adam, who lived in another country.
William didn't say much, but Aydan had no problem keeping the conversation going by himself. The younger guy enjoyed listening his friend, especially when he was in good mood or talking about things he was enthusiastic about.
Everything was just like it had always been between them, and the only evidence of Aydan's change was that he went out to smoke a couple of times.
They didn't do much during the day, since William was still tired, but in the evening they went swimming in the ocean.
Sunset tinted the sky red and there were nothing but white sand, water and sky within sight. They had to go in to get their jackets, because the evening was getting chilly, and they wanted to sit at the beach.
''You haven't been yourself lately.'' Aydan started cautiously, making William turn his head sharply from the seascape he had been looking at.
''And I was just thinking, if Claudia or her friends have something to do with it.'' Aydan continued haltingly.
William's heart started throbbing again, this time because of distress and fear of getting caught. Should he lie or tell the truth even if it put their friendship in a risk?
''I guess I'm just afraid of losing you.'' It was probably the most sincere sentence William had uttered after that Day. Aydan looked astonished and for a while he didn't say anything.
''We'll always be together. You're like a brother to me, and no girl can get between family.'' He said.
Well, I haven't regarded you as a brother in such a long time, William thought wistfully, but what he said was: ''You say that now, but you can't know for sure.''
''I know I won't leave you. If we don't stay together, it's you who's going to leave.'' Aydan was looking at the ocean, a sad look in his blue eyes, and William knew he meant everything he said.
''Like I had anywhere to go.'' William said quietly, and he too really meant it.
There was a whisper of autumn in the air and the sea breeze felt crisp on their skin, yet they didn't hurry getting back in the beach house. William looked at his friend, who was smoking another cigarette, hoping it would be just them two till the end of time.
Yet he couldn't dismiss the image of a beautiful, hazel eyed and brown haired girl who was everything William could never be.
''Did Claudia get upset when you came here instead of seeing her?'' William asked, feeling a stab of conscience for hoping that he could have Aydan all to himself.
''A little, but it's fine.'' Aydan said, clearly not wanting to talk about it. ''Let's go inside, it's getting cold.'' He said then, as if saying he was done talking for the day.
As William laid on his bed — in the same room with Aydan, who was already sound asleep — he didn't feel tired at all. There were too many thoughts on his mind, and he didn't really want to engross in any of those.
The day had been successful and William was happy, but there was something that blunted his contentment: if after this weekend Aydan was back to what he had been lately, it would be unbearable. It would break William, if after this new hope he would find out it was all in vain. Hope can keep one going, but hope can be dangerous too.
In the morning William wasn't much perkier than he had been the day before. It had been a struggle to get the thoughts quiet down to a point he could even dream about falling asleep.
Just like the last time William had opened his eyes in the beach house, he could smell coffee and bread, which had a similar effect to his stomach.
''Good morning.'' Aydan said when William walked to the kitchen. There was, again, a ready-made breakfast waiting for him on the table.
It was adorable, seeing how Aydan took care of him, but during his pondering last night, William had realised something. This trip, all those nice gestures and all the things Aydan had said, seemed deliberate like he was trying his best to please William. Maybe he was wrong, but somehow the conclusion had made him despondent.
''Morning. Did you sleep well?'' William asked on autopilot, his mind wandering somewhere else.
''Yup, better than in that wretched apartment of mine.'' Aydan didn't seem to notice the change on William's state of mind.
Actually Aydan's apartment was anything but wretched: it might not be that spacious, but it was newly renovated and quite luxurious. Oh, and not to mention it was a penthouse.
The second day they had at the beach house was really nice, even though William was feeling a tiny bit melancholic.
They went swimming again, and everything was pretty much the same it had been since they were kids. Well, apart from the impact Aydan had on William every time he touched him; the touch made William's heart flutter and it lingered on his skin for a long time.
Let alone the occasion when Aydan playfully decided to carry William back to the car, when they were leaving. Aydan captured William in his arms and lifted him up, like he was as light as a child, a smirk on his lips.
''Hey! The first time was more than enough.'' William cried out and tried to wriggle himself to freedom, but it was all in vain. Aydan only let him go as they were at the car.
''You know I'm not a child anymore, right?'' William frowned.
''You're younger than me, so you'll always be a kid to me.'' Aydan laughed.
William cursed him as an answer, but he was secretly delighted. This was the friend he had known since he was young; the playful, guileless and caring friend he had become so fond with.
The Aydan William knew wasn't someone, who made jokes that were actually hidden mockery or who ignored William as soon as there were "the cooler ones'' with them. More than anything William hoped that he'd continue seeing the version of Aydan he had seen on the beach house.