Contains: DDLG
TW: meantion of self harm, depression
Josh's POV
As of lately Ricky hadn't really been doing so hot mental health wise. I think it all started with lockdown and then sometime during lockdown he found out his girlfriend had been cheating on him.
Everyone knew his past battles with depression and self harm, it wasn't something he ever tried to hide so obviously taking that into account we were all pretty worried about him.
Chris spent alot of time with him, being his best friend and all and all the other guys from Motionless did too.
Obviously Id spent alot of time with the guy and considered him a brother so it was only right that I checked in on him from time to time.
Mostly phone calls or facetimes though, I hardly had time for anything else between work and Lilly that was about it.
And as bad as it sounded I didn't want to bother him with bringing her along but I couldn't just leave her home by herself.. She'd never forgive me. She was pretty attatched to my side.
But things had gotten worse and I got a phone call from Chris saying that Ricky wouldn't get out of bed so I took Lilly with me and headed to his house.
I hated seeing the guy so upset, shit I hated seeing any of my friends upset. I wanted the best for every single one of them, they were all great people.
I knocked and knocked but he wouldnt answer so I used the spare key that he left outside and let us in.
"Ricky?" I called out, checking the living room first just to make sure. I headed to his room and found him laying in bed. "You okay?" I asked him. I knew he wasn't.. But I didnt know what else to say to him. He had bags and dark circles under his eyes, his eyes themselves were bloodshot, his hair was a mess and he was super pale, even for being Ricky.
"I'm fine." He sighed, scooting up in bed so he was sitting against the headboard, covers bunched up in his lap.
"Ricky?" Lilly whispered, sounding so heartbroken and concerned. She let go of my hand and walked towards his bed, climbing up on it and sitting back on her knees beside him.
"Lill-" I had started.
"She's fine." He shook his head, seemingly not bothered.
"What's wrong?" She tilted her head to the side in a questioning way. "Why are you sad?"
"I'm fine princess. Don't worry about me." He shook his head. He took her hand in his, rubbing the back with his thumb. "Hey, it's okay. I'm fine Lill." He spoke softly to her and then I heard it, her sniffles. She let herself fall foward, her head landing on his chest.
"I don't want you to be sad and you try to hide it." I didn't know whether to step in or not. On one hand Ricky didnt need this, he was already going through enough but on the other hand she was bringing out a side of him that no one had seen in a long while.
"Lilly, please princess. Dont cry. Look, im fine, see?" He pulled her back to make a funny face at her before giving her a small smile.
"Daddy?" She asked, looking back at me. "Icecream and movies?" She looked back at Ricky. "When I'm sad daddy always plays good movies and lets me have icecream. And... Here, you can have my bunny." She hesitantly handed him her stuffed bunny. The one she takes everywhere, the one she can't sleep without, the one she throws fits over if she loses. It brought a smile to my face as I watched my baby try to cheer him up.
"Thank you princess." He took the bunny from her and sat it on his lap.
"I'll start some movies in the living room and see what snacks we can find." I excused myself, feeling comfortable leaving Lilly with Ricky. She was making more progress than any of us probably had.
After setting up Sweeny Todd on the TV in the living room and getting out the Neapolitan icecream from his freezer I headed back to the room to try to coax him out.
"Ricky..why are you sad?" I heard Lilly ask and I stopped in my tracks.
"I just.. Have alot going on princess... Sometimes I get too overwhelmed and feel like I cant go on anymore."
"But you're one of the strongest people I know."
"It doesn't feel that way princess."
"But I don't want you to be sad..."
"I kn-ow." His voice cracked and I wondered if she was making things worse.
"Please Ricky, dont cry.... It'll be okay. Me and daddy are here for you, we want you to be happy. Ricky please." I heard muffled cries. I gave them a few minutes, meanwhile listening to her tell him things that I would usually tell her when she was going through a tough time.
"Here.. Bunny will make it all better." I decided that enough time had passed and walked in to see her sat on his lap, holding her bunny towards him as he played with its ear.
"You guys ready? Icecream and movies await."
"Come on Ricky, come on. Icecream!" She got up and grabbed his hand, pulling on him but he wouldnt budge. "Ricky, didnt you hear daddy? There's.. Ice..cream.." She let her head fall in a pout after trying one more time and not having success.
"Come on babygirl, let's just leave him alone. We dont wanna bug him too much."
"No daddy, I'm staying right here." She sat down on the edge of the bed with a sigh as a tear fell down her face.
"Go get some icecream lill." Ricky told her.
"No.. I don't need it. I stay with you." Ricky and I made eye contact and I couldnt explain the emotion his eyes held. He seemed shocked and taken aback by how devoted she seemed to be towards him. I too, was shocked but I knew my little girl had a big heart so it didnt surprise me too much. She really was willing to miss her chance to eat Ice cream just to stay by Ricky's side. With a sigh and a swift movement Ricky picked Lilly up and got them both out of bed.
"You are not missing Ice cream for me little lady." He sat her down as she took his hand, getting a big smile on her face. As we all settled into the couches she called dibs on the strawberry section, causing Ricky to laugh at her. The first real laugh any of us had gotten out of him in months.
"Then strawberry is yours Angel." She really was a little angel.