I can do this I can do this I can do-
The mantra kept echoing in me as nerves attacked my guts and I shifted in my spot just as the final bell rang over our heads. My period had ended a few minutes before so I'd got time to plan this. Well, kinda.
A part of me really felt guilty for pushing Norah away and missed her, but the thing was... I had needed my time. I was frustrated she didn't respected that. But I get it that she meant good. After all, she hadn't been here in my darkest times with Brett, she'd only get to see him now in his weird redemption -if that was even real.
And he got my back with Noel. She was by my side. She only gets too carried away at times and acts for a greater good not seeing that things didn't always had to play by her rules. Yet Connor's words stuck with me since lunch break. Why keep up with this? I was a little upset, but maybe shutting her out was a little too much.
And with Brett... I tried listening to what Connor said, and even with small words he did hit the right buttons. Economy today had been different, I'd tried not being so edgy, not to jump into conclusions at every move... and even accepted to work in his place when Mrs Goldin announced our next's work deadline. This time we had to prepare an exposition of how we were holding on with our project, I didn't felt this clenching in my chest from before. I didn't fear for my integrity nor was worried about him messing this up for me. Not so much. Now I get that, what got him being mean to me in the past, for whatever reason it wasn't anymore. And it wouldn't be back, at least not anytime soon.
Why? Only he knows, but since this time we needed to make a presentation and all we decided the library wasn't an option anymore and we needed a place were we could work more freely.
When Brett offered his I had the instinctival 'no' ready to roll out my tongue. Me vouluntarily going to the Ryder's place? I hadn't stepped a foot there in years and wasn't sure it was the greatest idea. He would had the whole power then, like usually but this time in a more visual situation. But also, maybe he was trying to apologize and come clean for real?
Also, Julia Ryder would be there as well and with that woman in the house he wouldn't dare to try anything wicked. And let's be honest, Julia was like an aunt when growing up. Seeing her might be worth dealing with Brett. Especially knowing he wouldn't put anything on me. So I gingerly accepted and we agreed we'd meet after his soccer practices.
So that leaves me here, if I was willing to face the odds with Brett, Norah deserved it ten times more. After all, she only tried to help.
As the hallway filled with students exiting their classes and moving to go home, I shifted nervously in the balls of my feet, waiting by her locker for the pink-haired girl to appear. I could feel my stomach churning, hoping it wasn't too late and that she's got feed up with my attitude. But Macy's said she missed me, Connor's said the same, and she did defend me from Noel.
I bit into my lip when I finally spotted her peculiar hair color across the lie of lockers. She was talking to some other girl from our course but I couldn't quite remember her name, yet her mind seemed somewhere else. That until we locked eyes, then her eyes widened, her spine straightening and she quickly dismissed the girl with a smile and a short sentense I could only try to imagime.
Here we go. I immediatelly stood form my leaning stance against her locker, straightening my clothes and taking a deep breath. "Norah, I'm sor- ow." all air left my lungs as she pratically tackle me in a bear hug.
"Alyson!" she cried im my neck, shrill and attracting attentions towards us but as I blushed she didn't seemed to care at all. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry! I should had force it on you. I thoought I was helping you step forward and failed to see you weren't ready. I'm sorry but please let you being here mean that you've forgiven me or I'll die form mebarrassment here and now."
After the initial shook I finally willed my arms to come around her as well, eturning the hug and this knot in my guts elicited softly. "I didn't think you even know what embarrassment means." I taunt and she pouted, not letting me go yet.
"I guess this means you are here in peace. But just in case I'm sorry. Everything is so weird lately and..." she shook her head tightening her embrace and making my chest crumbled a little. "I can't lose you too."
"You won't lose me." I reassured her, sick just at the thought of losing her over something like this and the distraught in her tone that always was cheerful was so surreal I wanted it out of there at once. Norah wasn't someone made to suffer in the slightest, and despites how strong and confident she liked to pretend to be, deep down she was the most sensitive indeed. "I'm sorry I took too much to realize how stupid it was."
"No." she shook her head letting go at last and pursed her lips. "I was wrong. I know. If you said you didn't want to I should had keep pushing. You know I get too involved with my ships."
My stomach curled but now for entire different reasons than the initial nerves. "Nors." I glanced away, my face burning self-consciously. " You need to stop shipping me with people. It only deflates my ego and they're never true either way."
"What are you talking about?"
"Dylan? Brett? You basically ship me with any male that comes near me and we both know nothings gonna happen so what for?"
She clicked her tongue, shaking her head with that amused, knowing attitude now shifting away from the previous mood to her usual one and despites the topic, I couldn't but felt glad for it. "Dear, sweet Alyson. Dylan wants you. Brett wants you more. You dare to deny it?"
"Yes." I deadpanned, not really in the mood to enter a debate on the matter, instead, before she could argueed further I lifted my hand and shown her the Haribo'd bag I bought five minutes afo from the vending machine by the canteen and her eyes lighted up. "I got you a peace present."
"For me?" she squealed taking it to craddle it to her chest as if it was a baby. "Awww you know me so well."
I chuckled at her antics. "Yeah, well, actually, I was counting that you would share."
To that she grinned. "You're gonna laugh. Look." she opened her locker and I effectively laughed when I took in the matching Haribo's bag sitting there. She took it passing it to me so I caugh in midair.
"Guess we think alike."
"All great minds do." she sang taking her stuff and closing the locker but then in a more serious tone she asked: "Are we good then?"
"Yes." I laced our arms as we headed out the building in the sea off moving students, all as eager to leave as ourselves. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, I was upset and-"
"I get it. I swear on my Mendley name I won't meddle again." she rose her free hand solemly and I rilled my eyes, nudging our shoulders softly.
I haven't realized I missed her this much and it's barely been a couple days of radio-silence. But at the same time, as much as it now seemed futil this time on my own, it had served a purpose. I needed to think, on my own. I needed to organize my mind and settle somethings, and whether it wasn't at all closed, I could had taken some distance and saw things. And Norah's learnt not to press me too much.
Norah informed me Connor'd skipped last period and took the car with him so we were left to walk. She wasn't at all happy with his cutting class habits, but at this point if all the detentions and lectures hadn't made him come to his senses I doubted anything would. But not only that, Norah wasn't please to find herself rideless -as she'd put it- and only notified by a text some minutes ago.
"He's so gonna hear me next I see the idiot." she furiously typed back, probably something similar to what she just voiced and slid it in her pocket turning to look at me, the anger long gone now. "So, wanna go to the movies? They say this new comedy is hilarious and I need to find one that would make our all too serious Macy-bu crack. She keeps saying she not one to laugh on movies and I just need to prove her wrong"
I smiled, amused by they're constant bickering. From all I know what happened on that party, the whole almost-kiss, hadn't been approached between them but somehow things between them had turned to its rutine, they fight, joke and secretely droll for one another.
"Can't." I respond to her plan to go to the movies. "I need to buy some stuff for the Economy's project and I'm meeting Brett later on."
"Mhm." she wiggled her brows suggestively. "Lover Boy strikes again. And I'm the one seeing things?"
"Yes, you are." but her snickerd made me blush. WHen will she drop this stupid ship. Brett and I were barely classmates, accepting to this project at his was the furthest I would dare to go and still wasn't that sure it was such a good idea. "Economy project, Nors." I reminded her with a scowl, hoping that would explain the romanticism of the whole thing enough but she sighed dramatically.
"I'm sure that the euphemism of I-wanna-date-you-but-I'm-too-coward-to-ask."
Okay, she was hopeless.
Norah came with to buy the material, Brett had let the posterboard's color choice to me, and since we ended soon and still have time until the practices ended we decided to drop by at her place. The good vibes between us was settled again and I was more than glad to realize this little dip wouldn't affect the friendship we'd been building for the past months. I would miss the pink-haired girl.
We stopped briefly at the shop and bought chips for the waiting before heading to the house until soccer practices were done. It was all too quick, we downed the front path to the door, too busy laughing and chatting to notice the loud voices until it startled up opening before we even get there and out stormed Connor, almsot knocking us on his way out.
"Well, hello-" started Norah taken aback as well but he didn't spare us half a glance, cold as ever and completely inexpressive as he pushed past us. "Connor!" The lump in my throat tightened as I processed his clenched jaw and white knuckles holding the skateboard. Half a second later I took in the voices coming from the opened door.
"Connor Mendley get back here in this instant!" the male voice came too late tho, because the blond guy had already dropped the skate on the floor, so harsly I flinched, and was already rolling away.
"I've told you not to yell at him!" beamed now a femenine voice and Norah stiffened by my side as they contiued to argue inside.
"If you didn't spoil him with everything I wouldn't yell at him. It's the thrid time the called us this week. The third! What if they expelled him, Angie?"
"Well, we certainly won't get anywhere by yelling at him now would we?"
"Excuse me, I've forgetten that that you always know what to do and how." snorted the man and I shifted in my place, awkwardly listening to Norah's parents argue. Just like they've been the last times I came.
Guess that's what she was refering when she said things were weird lately and my heart cleched seeing Connor disappear and Norah paled still in the doorstep, not really feeling like going in anymore.
"Stop being childish, if they do expel him where would we put him in the middle of the course? Changing schools again may be unproductive for him... Haven't you been checking him up lately?"
"Have you?" retorded aggravated who I assumed was their father. "Maybe you should had thought about his future before things got this serious. But, well, you're never here, so how would you know."
I peaked a glance at Norah seeing her frowning, attent to what they were saying. Her frown was both concerned, frustrated and sad at once. And also ashamed when her eyes met mine and realize I was still there.
"You want me to go?" I mouthed, feeling like I was intruding in some family drama as the voices keep arguing inside, but before she get to answer the half ajar door opened again revealing Norah's mother, it would had been easily to recognize her even if I didn't know her already, Connor was like her but in a boy. The same, nose, shape of lips... the dark color of the twins brows and roots were the same as the woman's mane, tide up in an elegant ponytail. She looked neat and eficient, in a pencil skirt and a suit jacket. I knew she was a lawyer and her appearance was certainly intimidating, spotless, but there was exhaustion in her eyes.
"Hey sweetie." she grinned at Norah, but even in the sweet gesture there was the reminiscence of the unfinished fight inside. "Have you seen your brother?"
She nodded, "He just left." she pointed where he'd disappeared and the woman sighed.
I shifted awkwardly in my spot as her eyes fell on me, noticing my presence and turned to her daughter once more. "I'm sorrry girls, but you need to cut this short. Your father and I had to talk to you."
Guess I was leaving after all. I squeezed Norah's han, trying to be as reassuring as possible but I wasn't sure anything I could provide would erase the tension in that place. The last times I came it was always the same, loud voices, thick enviroment, reproaches spooken...
I knew they were fighting but I hadn't thought it would get this bad in front of them. My parents would fought too from time to time, but I remember it was usually at night, when I was tucked in bed and they would lowered their voices so I won't hear. Useless, but still they tried. I could only imagine how would it feel if they had been this verbally abusive towards one another and as frequently as Norah'd mentioned.
It didn't felt right to leave her like that, but there was much I could do. Hugging the bag of materials we just bough, I met her gaze one last time before her mother made her enter and I slowly marched away.
********************
An hour later I stood before a the Ryder's place, cold sweat down my spine and a heavy weight in my chest; hesitating all over again and going throught every conscient decision that had brought me here now.
What the hell am I doing?
I still didn't know if I could fully trust Brett. He'd been on my back for years until now. But then again ever since he'd been back he'd done nothing but be... there. Teasing, yes, a lot. But also... sweet? It was hard to think this about him after everything but lately all our interactions had been kinda like that. He'd been... like walking on eggshells now that I think of it backwards.
Realizing that was confusing but if I thought back at it, I couldn't think of a thing he'd done to hurt me. Not one.
It made the buzzing in my ears get higher whenever I baffled myself thinking of it.
Not even one.
How could it be?
I'd been so confident about my dislike for him but suddenly... I wasn't so sure.
And so here I was. In front Ryder's place. A lovely two story house in quiet movie-like street. They were like the american dream come true.
I gulped, counting the seconds until they asnwere the door and my guts tightened when Brett stood there, looking freshly showered and handsome as ever. He smiled, pleased at my sight and I immediately looked down struggling to control the mad pounds in my ribcage. Get a grip.
"Hey! I... I thought you wouldn't come." said Brett scratching the back of his nape when he noticed how tightly I was holding the posterboard and my mouth dried.
"Oh," was he regretting it? Had I made a mistake by showing up? "I-I can go. We could reschedule it-"
"What? No! Come in." he shook his head taking my arm before I could spun and gently tugged me inside. He gave me another hesitant glance, as I sneak quick glances around.
Whoa.
This place looks exactly like the last time I been here. The cute small lobby with frames of the family and coats carefully placed on the hangers. Wordlessly, he gestured me to take the empty one.
"I didn't mean it like that, just that... you don't exactly look like you want to be here." he pointedly glanced my frame and I grew self-conscious of my stiffness. "We can still go somewhere else, if you rather."
I forced my fingers to loosen up and took a deep breath, forcing down the mad pounding in my ribcage. "No, it fine." I cleared my throat and gave him the most hesitant smile ever -Way to be convinvcing, Alyson! "It's fine. Your mom's been insisting in me to come so that way I'll see her too."
"Has she?" he grimaced, embarrassed, and part of my nervousness faded in amusement. "Well, she can be like that. I'm sorry. You know how she-"
"Oh, no." I cut him. The last thing I wanted was for him to think I didn't like his mother or something. Not when Julia was the sweetest woman ever. "It's all fine. I promise. Let's go!"
He looked like he wanted to say something else, looking at me as if he was reading through my act but then clamped his mouth shut and get out at well, taking the material from me easily and smiling at me as he free me from it gesturing towards the aisly leading further into the house. "Let's go then."
I nodded, following him and sensing how my guts clenched at every step we took as I sneak more peaks around. Excitement and anxiety mixing in my belly. It'd been ages since I last saw her and I didn't know how would she react. True, we'd talked over the phone but still... My feet reluctantly followed the auburn further into the place.
"Brett? What took you so long? Bolt's been anxious and you know he- Oh." her eyes met mine as soon as we entered the kitchen and she frozen, blinking at his son and then back at me, wiping her hands on the apron carefully as a smile took over her face, elicing my nerves almost completely. "Well, well, well. Isn't this a surprise?"
"Hello, Mrs Ryder. I-" but as soon as the apron was off her I was tugged into her arms. That felt good.
"My darling, I've told a million times it's just Julia. Here let me look at you." she pulled away cupping my face and examining me with a tender excited look. "Oh Alyson it's been forever since I last saw you. You're so grown up now. " I smiled, touched at her motherly behavior as Julia brushed away some locks from my face. "You're so pretty... So much like your mother."
My heart throbbed. "Am I?"
"Absolutely. Come here." And hugged me again. This time I hugged her back, getting emotional.
"Yeah, well..." Brett cleared his throat and I blushed at the reminder of his presence. "We kinda have to work on something ..."
"Of course, of course." Julia pulled away but tugged me further into the kitchen and towards the stool by the small table. "Here, darling. You sit there and tell me about everything. How's school? And your grandma? I ran into her not too long ago and she told me you have a job?"
"Mom." sighed Brett forcefully, tilting his head backwards to glare the ceiling. "Have you not heard what I just said?"
"Of course I have." she answered unbothered, going through the cabinets seeking for something. "Have you what I said? Bolt's in terrible need of a walk. You know how he gets."
"Alyson's here and-"
"I'll keep her in company, you don't worry for it. Now go take care of it."
"But-"
"No buts." Julia's tone left no room for discussion and when she finally found what she was looking or she turned around with a boiler and smiled sweetly at me. "Can I offer you a tea? If I remember correctly you don't drink coffee, do you?" I grinned, moved that she remembered and nodded. "Say no more." The next second she was getting on with it, not even glancing where Brett stood eyes narrowed at her. "You still there, honey? Time's ticking."
His frown deepened and I had to bit down my giggle. His blue orbs shifted from his mother to me and I shrugged one shoulder, as if saying 'what do you want me to about it?'. He huffed. "Fine. I'll be right back."
Relief filled me when he exited the kitchen and dissipate the building tension in the air. But also something else pounded in my chest, something I didn't want to analyze. I heard the fain noises as he went to the backyard and we hears barks and fast steps of an excited dog. Not long after the front door shut and I knew they went for that walk.
"There you go." smiled Julia letting a fumming cup of tea in front of me.
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it." and pulled the stool in front of mine sitting down and popping his elbows on the table between us, her chin on her palms. "So, tell me."
"School's been fine. And yes, I do work."
"Where?"
"In the Taco Bell by the hall." I lowered my gaze to the mug, ashamed, carefully taking it with both hands and sensing the heat of it as I stirred it. The Ryders were, like, perfect. Logan Ryder was a respectful lawyer and Julia came from a whealty family, even Rose worked part-time in the Pet Shop before moving to college and here I was bragging about getting shitty shifts at a fast food place. My face burned at how lame I was.
But despites what I was expecting her face lighed up and smile didn't drop. "Really? And how do they treat you?"
"Good, I think." and it wasn't a lie. The work was frantic and sometimes stressful, but I wouldn't had a thing against it if it wasn't for the times when Noel, Jade or someone else showed up. But again, that wasn't the place's fault. "It's not a dreamy place but it allowed me to save up."
"So thoughtful of you." she nodded, satisfied. "As long as you can mix it with you studies and don't get too distracted any help is always welcome."
I smiled again, relief filling me that she wasn't judging. "Right. I also had this practices in the city, you know? In a photography Studio and recently they got me a chance to get an scholarship."
"Really?" I nodded eagerly and she squeezed my hand with a proud look that warmed my chest. "That's amazing, Alyson. So good to hear. Where?"
"In Nebraska."
"Oh, dear, that's so far." she touched my chin affectionately and I almost melted. It was as if she was going all motherly on me even considering I hadn't seen her in like years but it didn't matter.
We talked about a lot of things, about my whereabouts, hers, she joked, I laughed... She made felt wanted and even loved and it reminded me of my own parents. It felt so good. I'd missed this too much, I'd missed her. So I could pretend for a bit longer until Brett came back and everything come back to its senses again.
I helped her organize everything after we were done with our little snack, and she command me to bring a bowl with chips to the living room for when the boys came. Boys? But I didn't get the chance to question the plural, since as soon as I let it on the on the coffee table in front of the couch the front door clicked open and male voices came in. From there I didn't get to see them but before I could go back to the kitchen barks irrupted in as well and noises echoed in the corridor. Steps. But light and fast steps, followed by another bark. I couldn't stop a massive grin.
A huge white golden retriever entered the room and jumped on me, almost tackling me to the ground like that day on the park but this time I kept my balance and instead I crouched in the floor, giggling as his tongue licked my hands waving his tail agressively. He approached to do the same with my face but I pulled slighlty away and kept petting him.
Bolt growled deeply in pleasure as my fingers dug deeper into his soft white fur and I stroke it. His tail wagged faster in response and a low grunt escape his throat as he leaned more into me and his eyes hooded. I chuckled and rubbed him more, I placed a soft kiss on the top of his head and his fur tickled me.
"You're such a good boy." he groaned again and laid his head on my knee, resting there. "Yes you are."
"I'm kinda jealous now." I hear Brett's voice and my head snapped up, blushing hard as he moved over the table and left his backpack on it, next to where mine and the posterboard were. His smirk only seemed to grew when he turned and I lowered my gaze shyly, without stopping scratching Bolt's back before picking enough courage to look back up.
"You have him always." I mumbled with a small shrug. "I'm just enjoying this little moment."
One of his brows rose, his eyes never leaving mine and for some reason my heart jumped when he did that.
"Who says I'm talking about the dog?"
My breath hitched in my throat. Jealous? Was he meaning-
"White!" The new voice made both me and Bolt jump. The dog growled lowly and moved towards the backyard as I stiffly stood up, glancing the new comer I wasn't expecting.
David Ryder.
He was barely a couple years older than Brett, now a bit shorter than him but still tall, and way more build. When he was in Clayton High he was part of the soccer team as well and as far as I knew, his scholarship was based on his sport skills. His hair was dark instead of Julia's and Brett's auburn, but despites it it was cristal clear this two were related.
Even back when we were all kids he never actually payed much attention to me. I mean, yeah, he was polite and sometimes joined our games but out of the three siblings David was the one I had less relationship with. So I was beyond suprised when he didn't hesitate a second and approached me. I smiled, instinctibly opening my arms just before being engulfed in a bone-crushing hug. My side stung uncomfortably but I bit it down.
"Hey, Dave." I greeted airlessly.
"It's been like, what? Forever, since the last time I saw you. You don't get to do that, missy."
"You've been away." I laughed shyly, surprised he'd cared enough to be upset about it but satisfied by it too.
"So?"
Brett scoffed stepping close and patting his brother's shoulder. "Okay, okay, now let her breathe."
"Oh hush." Dave rolled his eyes and let go from the hug but only to keep me at his side, arm over my shoulders. "You're just jealous. We're having a little moment here."
My cheeks flushed but Brett's attention was on the guy beside me, narrowing his gaze dangerously at him. "A moment? Come on."
"Sure. Alyson is like the little sister I never wanted."
Wow! "Oh..."
David turned to look at me, a taunting grin curving his lips. "In the best way it can be said, that's it."
I smiled back hesitantly. I really don't know what could be the best way in someone saying I was like the sister they never wanted.
"Anyway." Brett pushed his brother's arm so it fel by his side and out my shoulders and pressed his hand on the small of my back, guiding me forward to the table were our belongings rested. "We're kinda busy, so you mind fucking off?"
My eyes widened at his rudeness but David chuckled. "Come one, Brettie. I just got here." and let himself fell on the couch, his face lightening up when he saw the chips. "Oooh, snacks. Nice." and pick them up.
Brett's fists clenched, clearly not satysfied with what was going on. He looked at me, then at David again. "Dave."
"Don't mind me." the guy waved with his free hand as his other brought chips to his mouth, munching them. "I won't bother you." he looked up and smirked at him, then turned his attention back at me and swallowed forcefully before talking again. "So, Alyson. Do tell. Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Oh my God." Brett huffed pinching the bridge of his nose harshly and glaring the smirking male on the couch. Then shook his head and took his backpack before turned to me, his face softening as he did so. "Let's go." he took my wrist when, a bit confused, I picked my belongings as well. "We'll be in my room."
"Mmkey." David didn't dropped his smirk, popping another chip in his mouth. "Door open, Brettie." he called after us as the auburn guided me upstairs and I could felt my face flushing at his insinuation there but Brett only groaned and shouted him over his shoulder:
"Screw you."
"Lenguage!" Julia yelled from the kitchen and I giggled.
"Ugh, I'm so sorry." Brett apologized when we reched his room and despites his brother warning closed the door behind him. "He's just a dick."
I shrugged, feeling very self conscious and looking around trying to hide it. There was something so intimate about being in his room. Alone.
It wasn't the first time, and it surprised me to find out it hadn't changed that much. The walls still painted in that blue color since his tenth birthday and some posters of groups and players remained . But the trophies in his shelves had multiplied and the board over his desk was way fuller with pictures.
His smell here overpowered everything and I was ashamed to admite it wasn't a bad thing. I actually liked it. Way more than I should.
"It's fine." I grinned trying to keep my mind from the memories and thoughts that kept coming. Memories not only about our moments here but also about how I felt. How I felt about him. I cleared my throat. "I thought he was away for college?"
And my heart did a somersault when I turned to look at him again and found his eyes already on me, watching me watching his room. An strange emotion swirling there. My cheeks warmed as he lifted one shoulder. "He is. But he finished exams early or some shit like that."
"Oh, okay." I diverted my gaze, very self aware of his burning gaze on me. Why is he looking at me like that?
"Come on." this time it was him who cleared his throat and pulled away from the door where he'd been resting and towards the desk. "Here." he dropped the bag at the floor and shifted the rolling chair to the side. "You can take this, I'm going to pick another one."
And like that I was left alone in his room. In his most private place. Alone. Did he trusted me that much or he simply didn't care? I don't think I would be able to let him in my room by himself.
Bitting my lip I moved to the chair he'd pulled out and dropped there, slidding closer to the desk. My eyes got caught in the pictures on the board before I could prevent it. There where a lot of them. Most of them with Hunter. Going places, with the team, one with David and Rose in their trip to Berlin... I almost smiled at how genuine he looked in them. But then I spoted a certain one that got my blood ragging.
I knew this picture.
I had it myself as well.
It was from Macy's celebration after she got her braces removed. We were twelve then, and her parents brought us to the fair. Her, Brett Jade and myself.
The picture was taken in one of those photo booths that snapped four of them so each one of us can keep one. That was before the group split. I would had bet both him and Jade must had thrown theirs for how our interactions had turned out to be, but no. There it was.
The picture was really good. Considering at the time we were younger, we fit easier than if now we tried to recreate it now. The three of them were fitted in the bench and since I've always had been the petite one I was on Brett's lap. I got one arm curled around his neck, twisting to the side so he was seen as well, and the other on Macy's thighs, who was making faces over my shoulder. Jade was on Bretts other side, clunching on his arm that wasn't helding my waist. We all looked like we were having the time of our lifes and it was true.
I felt a pang in my heart.
That day we really hit it off.
I couldn't believe how things changed from that to... well. To what had happen recently.
"I'm back." I jumped when a chair appeared by my side and Brett took it, raising one amused brow at my reaction. Can you blame me? I didn't even hear him come in again.
"You scared me." I muttered, patting over my heart and he smiled.
"Jumpy, are we?" but then turned to look what I'd been focusing to hard on and frowned when his eyes reached the same picture. He tensed, cursing under his breath after the first second of cluelessness.I didn't know what I expected, him to be angered I'd been snooping around? Embarrassed I found this? But what I certainly didn't expected was the immediate dissatisfactions as his jaw clenched. "I swear," he mumbled through clenched teeth. "That each time I see her I can only see red."
My eyes widened. Was he talking about Jade? "Brett..."
His eyes met mine again, shotting something straight to my guts, as always. "I'd already had beaten the shit out of her if she wasn't a girl."
I flinched at his words, their meaning making my heart pounded wild my ribs. "Don't say that." I whispered and his heated eyes narrowed, burying deep in my soul.
"Why? It's true." he scowled. "And as for Noel-" the knot in my stomach became thousand times worst. He didn't know about that party, did he? Or about my so said 'nudes'? No please. Don't let- "Listen, I don't know what he did today but I know he'd bothered you... and that it's not the first time. But I can't-"
"It's fine." I stressed, diverting my gaze. "He's your friend. I don't expect you to go against him or anything."
His frown deepened. "He's not my friend. Where do you even get that from?" I shrugged fiddling with the strands of my pull-over, suddenly finding them super interesting. "We're not. I was just trying to say that I can't actually beat him because he's on the team." What? What had this to do with anything? Not having expected that I rose my gaze to see him slidding his fingers through his hair. "My coach would kill me if I started a fight with a team mate, you know?" my heart throbbed that he actually considerate it. I expected him to wave it off and let it be. Something fluttered in my stomach, awaking a tingling feeling that spread quickly inside me. Excitement? "Maybe even kick me out. He's super strict with that shit, so I don't really have a choice. But I can-"
"N-no, no." I interrupted, that sensation growing further when he locked eyes again. "I-I don't want you to do any of that. You don't have to do it. Nor beat him nor anything."
Brett scoffed, displeased with my answer. "They don't deserve your sympathy, Lys."
"I know."
"Then why the fuck do you keep justifying them? Forgiving them."
I gasped at his harsh tone. Why the hell was he so angry about that?
"I-I don't. It's just that... that..."
"What?" he pressed even more and leaned forward, almost manacingly. I immediately matched it backwards, and at my movement Brett seemed to finally focused on something other than his sudden rage. His features softening instantly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get that mad. Not at you."
I breathed, calming my nerves, or at least trying since his gaze was so intense that got my heartbeat going crazy.
"No, its- It's fine. I just don't believe in violence."
"You've slapped me." Brett reminded with a shrug, but even tho he didn't said it in a harsh tone or anything I felt my blood froze in my veins at that memory.
Awkwardly, I played with my fingers and drop my gaze there. "Mm, yeah... I'm sorry for that."
"Don't be." he shrugged again. "I totally deserved it."
Still the churning in my guts kept tightening in guilt. "Brett, I-"
"No." he cut me in a soft tone, far from the rage I was expecting from him. "You're right. And I'm... I'm the one sorry, Lys."
For umpteenth time today, our eyes met and something in them felt so pure I couldn't but believe it. It felt so genuine and sincere. And also, it felt as if he was apologizing for much, much more.
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QUESTION: How is the Ryder's family?
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