Nobody really cared, so it never really mattered
It never really mattered, so it never really happened
What's the point in fighting for a happy ever after?
The past keeps haunting the future, I imagine
"Identity": Grandson
Q: Are you different around certain people? Like for example at school or work you act in a certain way and home different?
****WARNING: sensitive topics such as human trafficking, drugs...****
I let out a groan when Matt slapped my arm to wake me up. I hate being touched. "Hey Zen, your Angel is calling?" I immediately opened my eyes and soon realized the mistake I just made.
"Who's Angel, eh Zen?" He arched a brow suggestively. Fuck! Why is she calling now from all the possible times?
"One of my fuck toys!" I answered, trying to hide the panic. I'm sorry Katherine! You're far from that!
"Hello?" I asked, my voice was hoarse because I just woke up and felt somewhat still half asleep.
"Hi, um...it's me Katherine, I'm sorry that I woke you up!" Gosh, I missed that beautiful voice but I could not show that right now. So I did what I thought the best to avoid suspicion. Be a complete asshole.
"No, it's fine. What can I do for you?" My voice sounded annoyed but in reality her voice sounded like heaven.
"I'll be quick. Did Sarah come to the track these past days?" Her voice sounded upset. I'm a fucking asshole. I hate myself now more than anyone could imagine. She doesn't deserve this treatment.
"Why?" I asked harshly. Matt was attentively listening to our conversation despite pretending to clean his gun.
"I need to talk to her" Did anything happen? What did her sister do this time?
"What makes you think that I know where she is?" I asked in an accusatory tone but what I wanted to ask her was if something was wrong. Her voice sounded really sad and it was eating me alive to not know the cause. Probably I was adding fuel to her problems. Fucking asshole!
"Right. Thank you, have a nice day" Before I could say anything else she hung up and I more than deserve that. I pretended she was still there for my audience and said. "Alright, see you later Angel!" Then I pretended to hang up.
The guilt was killing me. I just fucked up my opportunity with a girl that was making me smile only by thinking about her. Fuck, I haven't smiled in ages, actually I don't smile. And here I was being an asshole to her. Fucking mission and fucking Matt!
"So, who is Angel?" Matt pressed. I knew he would not stop questioning. He still didn't trust me and I could not afford being suspicious.
"Well, I saved her number because she's been good in bed!" I pretended like it was nothing.
Fuck Zane, you're making this worse!
"You should share, man!" He said laughing and I wanted to kill him right there. But could I blame him? It's my fault that we're talking like this about her.
Some minutes later that felt like hours I managed to get away from Matt and dialed her number. She didn't pick up and I was pissed with myself and worried that something might have happened.
I barely knew Katherine but that hug... I just can't forget it. The way it made me feel calm... I wanted to hug her forever and never let her go. I sound stupid but it felt damn good and I just fucked my opportunity with her.
If she was doubtful about my explanation when I kissed Sarah, she'll surely not believe me now. And what can I say? Nothing because all of this is confidential and I'm risking my life for this mission.
It was around midday when I reached the track race. I saw one of Victor's men and approached him.
"Hey Just, how are you doing man?" We shook hands as if we were friends. We were not and did I say I hate being touched? I saved his ass a few times to earn his trust. Little does he know he'll end behind the bars in a few weeks.
"Zen, my man! I'm waiting for someone to sell me his car! That beauty runs fast and I have to have it!" Just was obsessed with cars. He got into a lot of accidents because he drives mostly when he's high.
"Just, man, have you seen Sarah, Victor's trophy?" I asked hoping to get a positive answer.
"Yeah, actually she just arrived, she's there with another of Victor's trophies" He said pointing towards the grades.
Does this girl have no self-respect? She's basically talking with another woman that Victor fucks.
"Why are you asking? Do you want her too? I saw you kissing her the other day!" Like a needed reminder. I've kissed girls, many of them, but I've never felt so disgusted. Probably it was also because Katherine saw us.
"I was drunk man, I kissed a few that night! But no, I'm not after her." I answered and he seemed to believe me. He does that, kissing random people when he's drunk so that was a credible lie.
"Sarah!" I called her name when I got closer. She looked at me, scanned my body and bit her lip. I wanted to throw up.
She's not even close to being as beautiful as Katherine.
"Hey there Zen, are you here for round two?" She giggled and raised her eyebrows suggestively.
"I am, actually I was wondering if you could lend me your phone for a second. I need to make a call and my battery just died!" I gave her a wink but I wanted to run away.
"Sure baby, whatever you need!" She winked back and licked her lips.
If I need to go farther than kissing I might kill myself.
I wish I could stop talking to her but I got a lot of information from her. When she's high she's quite talkative. I wonder if Victor knows that. I'm pretty sure he won't be happy.
Now, my battery was not dead but I knew she'll pick up if it's Sarah calling her. I needed to hear her voice. Know that she's okay.
Why do I care so much about this girl?
Because you're attracted to her.
I'm quite forward with things like these. If I'm interested in a girl I go for it. I'm not a teenager anymore to go beating around the bush.
After a few tones she answers.
"Sarah, where were you?" Her voice sounds desperate and urgent. Maybe something did happen.
"Angel, why are you ignoring my calls?" I don't know why I felt the need to tease her.
I hear her sigh and then she says "If Sarah is there tell her to bring me back the car today, I need it urgently". She was ignoring me clearly and it didn't feel good but I deserved it.
"Are you ignoring me Angel?" I asked amused. I really liked teasing her.
"Tell her I'll be waiting for her at the gas station by 5pm" Her tone was flat.
"Now I'm getting upset Angel, you're obviously ignoring me!" I got more serious. Scream at me, tell me that I'm an asshole. I don't like the cold treatment even if I deserve it. If it comes from her I don't like it.
"Good, I'll take that you will pass the message. Goodbye!" She hung up on me. This is the second time.
I stayed there dumbfounded. I blinked a few times in my daze. Why is it bothering me so much that she's ignoring me? But as weird as it sounds it only makes me wanna know more about her. It makes her more interesting.
"Your sister called and said you need to get her car back!" I passed the message to Sarah. She gave me a dirty look and I only wanted to vomit. I really disliked this girl.
Maybe that's because you already have your mind filled with a certain girl...Said the voice in the back of my mind and it was damn right.
"After you return the car to your sister I will come pick you up and we finish what we talked about last time" I tell her and she giggles. This girl really thinks I'm going to hook up with her.
She agreed yesterday to let me meet one of her providers who is not Victor. That made me curious because that meant Victor was not the only one.
Getting close to her was a genius idea because I got a lot of valuable information and I feel like I'm getting closer to finding the rat.
At 5pm like a stalker I waited close to the gas station. When she got there my heart skipped a beat. Fuck, even from this distance she turns me on.
She looked beautiful as always, her brown hair was tied in a ponytail and she looked fucking adorable.
Am I whipped? I am.
My happiness washes away when I see her face. Even from that distance I could see the sadness on her face. She looked tired and void. She said something to Sarah and then left.
What happened to make her so sad? I had to know.
"So how's your sister?" I asked as casually as I could, trying not to sound desperate to know what's wrong.
"Are you interested in my sister Zen because if you do let me warn you..." Sarah looked at me with a brow raised. Her next words made me wanna punch her. I never hit girls but she is close to being an exception.
"She is a prude, Kat really doesn't have any experience with boys. Hell, she's a virgin even at his age. She dresses like a nun too and she's fat. Who's gonna look at her?" She laughed as if the bullshit she just spat was funny.
"Why would you talk like this about your sister?" I asked. My hands were gripping the steering wheel with such force that I feared it would break. My jaw was clenched as I felt my anger rise.
"She's a total loser. You tell her to jump and she jumps." She laughed again and I couldn't stand the anger anymore. I stopped the car abrumpty making her jump in surprise.
"What the hell Zen?" She asked, confused.
"I need to pee!" I say as I get out of the car, closing the door with a loud bang. We were outside the town on a road surrounded by trees. I got a bit farther away from the car out of her sight and punched a tree as hard as I could. Blood was spilling from my knuckles.
Fucking mission. I hate this fucking mission. I swear on my life that everyone will pay for all my anxiety over the past months. I'm fucking done with this mission and everyone.
After a few minutes I got back to my car and I no longer talked with Sarah. If she did I would probably kill her.
How could she talk like that about Katherine. That woman is filled with kindness and sweetness. Sarah doesn't deserve the love she's given.
And you do?
Fuck, I don't deserve it either. I better stay away from her. She doesn't need more drama in her life and I'm full of it.
We soon arrived at an abandoned warehouse. I followed Sarah close.
"My source is there!" She pointed towards a man sitting at a table drinking and smoking weed while playing poker.
When we got closer I could finally see him clearly. He was in his mid fifties. His hair was grey and he looked gone. He hasn't shaved in ages and he reeked of alcohol. If he was so wasted at this hour I could not even imagine how he'll be later at night.
"Zen, this is Derek." She introduces me and I shake his hand even though I feel disgusted. I hate being touched. Did I mention that?
But you sure liked when she hugged you. Shut up!
"He's Zen, the one I talked to you about!" Derek nodded and gestured to me to follow him. I did and we soon arrived to an office. He sat behind a desk and gestured to me to sit down. Sarah left soon after.
"Now tell me Zen, what kind of drugs are you looking for?" He crossed his arms and looked at me carefully, probably assessing if I was a threat or not.
"I'm not looking for drugs Derek, I couldn't tell Sarah, this is only between men!" I hated myself for the sexit comment but I knew it was the only way to level myself to him and gain his favor.
"I see, you're after little deers" He laughed and I felt sick. Little deers meant little girls. My suspicions were correct. They do human trafficking and if this man knows that means he's connected to the main boss. Bingo!
"How young Zen?" I wanted to throw up.
"I'm into the little ones, you know below 10, they're more innocent!" He laughs and I don't know for how long I can deal with this but I've seen worse.
During my 10 years in this job I've seen a lot of unpleasant things. Human trafficking is not new to me but the images of those poor girls are hard to forget.
"I like how you think Zen, meet me next week and I'll take you to pick one. They are expensive. I have to warn you." He laughs and that only makes me wanna kill him more.
"Money is not a problem" I answered with a blank face.
After that I left and contacted my boss. I had a clue.
I'm finally getting to the rat...
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Long chapter today!
So what do you think? Did you like Zane's POV? Should I do it more often?