I'm *reads script* promoting safe internet connection by *gasp* TAYLOR SWIFT!! *squee* OMG YASSSS!!!
I won't make assumptions, but I think your current internet connection isn't sleek. One time I was riding in an abstract van when I passed by your house. You were screaming, fed up by your Wi-Fi. It was horrifying sight, I really couldn't breathe.
Don't let your internet get lost in the memory and slip into a moment in time because it was never yours. You shouldn't have deal with living for the hope of it all. Instead meet me behind the mall for a limited time offer for safetaynet© internet.
If you are to switch to safetaynet© You may call me ba- Barney for the weekend Write this down.
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When you are young they assume you know nothing. Well, if you do switch to safetaynet© you'll sure know something! No more being casually cruel. Only perfectly fine.
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Oh, goddamn. The pain of Bad Wi-Fi connection fits in the palm of your hand, doesn't it? Your pain will no longer be forevermore with safetaynet© We've turned your internet connection into folklore! Now you can enjoy the internet safely! Go on and sashay your way to the best seat, in the best room. You deserve it!
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I'm retiring from the safetaynet© business, but I think they already know. With these puns, I'm definitely an architect drawing up the plans. These were all stupidly funny. More stupid than funny. I'm fluent in sarcasm, or did you forget?
This was basically me if I was hired to promote internet connection by Taylor Swift. The inspiration was pretty much April and Audrey's past confusion of my username, and I thought about how cool it would be if my job profession was literally that. ( not confusing April and Audrey. I mean promoting safe internet connection by Taylor Swift )
What my username actually means, is a song by the name ' safety net' combined with a 'tay'; therefore safetaynet.
oUt oF aLL oF tHe sOnGs oUt tHeRe, wHy aRiAnA gRaNdE'S sAfEtY nEt? It's a long story.....
It was the day before Halloween, and my mother and I had gone to a Halloween Costume store in ********* for no apparent reason. We eventually left the store and decided to continue strolling around the sidewalks and take pictures if we saw anything interesting.
We did see something interesting ( or at least she thought it was interesting ) and my mother wanted to take a picture of me with it. While she was taking the picture red lights were red and Pennyphin took over the world.
I fooled you, didn't I? We can't be too serious for too long in an HN chapter, now could we?
While she was taking the picture a car passed by, and music was playing. This wasn't just any music. The voice sounded familiar. Very familiar. Like Ariana Grande.... 3 seconds in and I sorta recognized the song. Not really because I had only listened to the song once, considering the 30th was the day the positions album was released.
But yk how albums are released these days. They come out like 9 pm in PST timings and 12 pm EST timings and idk what else. So I had heard the song once at midnight. Like you have to stay up thst late just to listen to the album and barely remember what the songs even sound like. sO tHaT'S jUsT gReAt, nOt mAgIc
This person ( well, this person was a he. I could see because I have 20/20 vision- and they had their windows rolled down ) had the music REALLY loud so I couldn't possibly ignore it. I heard the lyrics and memorized it. I took mental notes.
" Trippin' falling with no safety net " So it's definitely not about a website but instead falling deep in fear of- actually NO safety net. Got it! ( Based on the tracklist before actually listening to the song I thought the song was going to be about a website about safety and 'just like magic' was going to be about magic. I was wrong about that-)
" Is it real this time or is it in my head" TUN reference alert!!
When we went back home I decided to listen to this song by the name of 'safety net' again and it immediately became my favorite from the album!
And that humans is how my username came to be. I hope this was a somewhat informative and educational- but fUN origin story and that no one died of boredom.
I know on my soul
That it's time to go now
But I'll be back tommorow
Right where you left me
And stronger than a 90's trend ( doubt it )
I love you ain't that the worst thing you ever heard? Well, I don't care if it is. I do love you. Deal with it.
Adios
( In my drafts this is apparently the 13th chapter. What?- )