Donghyuck's POV
I tried calling Jaerin but now her phone was switched off. I couldn't reach her for hours and starting worrying. I paced around the room before hearing a knock on the door. My mind drifted elsewhere for a while before running to open the door. My head was hung low as Renjun stood in front of me.
"Is Jaerin in there?" I realised that I had forgotten to tell everyone that Jaerin had been missing for a couple of hours now, bottling up all my emotions.
"Renjun..." I paused, "Jaerin disappeared..." the words flowed out of my mouth with no trouble but it pierced a deep scar in my heart. I didn't want a repeat of last times case. I still blame myself for the death of Elena.
"What do you mean she disappeared?!" his facial expression hinted worry and distress, anger had almost burst out of him and he quickly ran towards his control room and I followed behind him.
"When was the last time you saw her?" He questioned, "I have to ask all the basic questions so we can find her quickly. I've sent a message to Taeyong and let him know about the current situation."
"Is he angry?" I asked, my heart started beating as it anticipated for the answer.
"Well he's angry that you didn't tell us sooner and right now he's relaying the message to the rest of NCT. They'll probably be fuming," he replied. Well I wasn't sure what to expect knowing that it was all my fault that she disappeared.
"Okay so would you like to tell me the last time you saw her?" he started into my eyes, searching for an answer as soon as possible.
"Erm- the last time I saw her was...in the cafeteria when I was with Sooyoung..." my voice drifted away, I almost whispered the last bit due to the embarrassment and anger I felt towards myself.
"Oh my god! Haechan- this is all your fault! Why are you still lingering around Sooyoung if you don't even like her? Now that Jaerin is missing and you didn't even bother to tell anyone about it, do you even love her?"
"I do love her, Renjun. And I know that it's my fault so we have to find her because I don't want the same thing to happen to her like it did to Elena. That shit is still affecting me to this day because I feel guilty," tears streamed down my face as the gruesome memories that filled my mind took over my soul. I felt worthless and immature because of how things happened to have worked out the exact same way as last time.
"Well then you should've fucking prevented it from happening twice instead of flirting with other girls when you clearly like her! Not even like- love her!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, the resonance of his voice bouncing on the walls.
In the midst of our argument, we heard a knock on the door of the control room so we turned our heads to see who the knocking belonged to. Taeyong stood in front of the door as Haechan tried to hack into the surveillance cameras of the school.
Taeyong had his hands on his waist as he looked at me with an angered look as he shook his head. The silence was loud. I could feel an uncomfortable aura lingering in the air.
"Have you hacked into the cameras yet?" Taeyong questioned Renjun after giving me a death stare for a long few seconds.
Renjun didn't reply for a good few minutes as he continued to click a few keys and press a number of buttons, unlocking different websites and typing a variety of pin codes. "I've found it!" he breathed out in relief.
Me and Taeyong's eyes lit up and rushed over to the computer where a recording started to play. The video had Jaerin sitting on the staircase for a couple of seconds before Seonghwa decided to accompany her.
"Do you know who this is?" Taeyong paused the recording and pointed at the slim figure that supposedly belonged to Seonghwa as his eyes flickered from the screen and back to me. I nodded, my head hanging low as my pride was wiped away on a second.
I was on the verge of tears before blinking which caused a waterfall. I sniffled because I hoped for only the safety of Jaerin and the reassurance that she'd return to my arms like she did every night.
The sky was now covered by dark, mysterious clouds which bought an eerie effect to the atmosphere as the time was currently 21:00 pm. Jaerin had now been missing for approximately 9 hours. My breath hitched at the back of my dry throat as I recollected the memories I shared with her.
I wasn't ready to lose my loved one once again and I wasn't going to let anyone come between us either.
"Go to sleep. You're not going to school tomorrow because we have to start our search for her early in the morning," my mind was still wondering elsewhere as Taeyong's words became a blur.
"Get some actual sleep and don't think about it too much. We'll find her," he continued, his hand resting on my right shoulder, trying to reassure me. I still felt as though I was to blame and I really couldn't brush it off. Especially knowing that she had seen me with Sooyoung and the last person that she saw was Seonghwa.
In all honesty, I was only with Sooyoung because Jaerin had made me jealous in the morning. She was with Seonghwa and they seemed so close that i felt a small pang in my chest. My jealousy got the best of me and it's bought me to a part of a situation where she isn't there at all.
I walked out of the control room and my eyes met with Mark's. He shook his head in disappointment and I wasn't ready for a lecture from him. Yet he surprisingly didn't utter a word so I returned to Jaerin's room.
She wasn't in her bed and her entire room felt empty. Her bed suddenly didn't look as cosy as it once did when she was there. Her plushies looked at me and watched as I went to her bathroom to brush my teeth and returned without her presence. A part of me wanted to disappear right there and then but another part begged to stay and wait for her.
I slipped into her bed, a chill fan down my spine as the coldness seeped into my skin. It wasn't warm or cosy or had Jaerin. I picked one of the plushies that she would cuddle with every night and held it tight. It resembled Jaerin so it bought a huge smile to my face, as her remaining scent surrounded me.
I wanted to hold her in my arms once again as I laid in her empty bed, tears flowing down my face and wetting the pillows. I love her and I want her back.
After sometime of crying, my eyes flickered shut and tiredness overtook my body.
D - 3
Today was not like any other day. I woke up before her alarm could jolt me awake but her bed was empty. Just like last night. I realised that her presence affected my life as she wasn't there to wake up to every morning, her soft morning laughs and complaining. I missed everything about her. I needed her back.
The space beside me was empty, cold and lonely. I felt around the bed and was not met with a figure I'd been waiting for. Her presence wavered my heart whilst her scent filled my nostrils, bringing love and joy to my life.
I sat up and looked around the room, this was once my room and then became hers but it seems more like ours. And I'd much rather keep it that way. I unknowingly smiled, my entire existence revolves around this girl and she wasn't even here.
I heard a knock on the door and l it was the moment I had realised that she really wasn't here and i had to go and find her with some backup.
"Come in," my small voice managed to say. I felt nervous because it was almost a day since her disappearance and her only close perpetrator was Seonghwa. Honestly I didn't want it to be Seonghwa since she had trusted him quite a bit but my gut feeling was saying otherwise.
The door knob slowly twisted and my eyes met with Taeyong. "Get ready and we'll have to leave so we can start an early search," his voice was monotone and held a deep grudge. He wasn't usually like this but I knew that I had a huge part to play in this since he and Jaerin were also quite close.
I didn't want to complain about having to get up so early on the morning because at the moment Jaerin was my top priority and I had to make sure she was safe and sound within my hold.
I shifted out of the covers, the cold air hitting my skin and I almost wanted to bury myself between Jaerin's covers once again. I inhaled a deep breath before walking over to the bathroom and brushing my teeth and taking a shower. The time was moving awfully slow, almost like a sloth. It was eating me alive.
—
I had already brushed my teeth and had a shower before knocking on Renjun's door. "Come in!" he shouted.
I opened the door and before I could say a word I was met with his flaming eyes, "What the fuck happened to you-? Did you cry last night...?" his voice drifted off, knowing that I was physically and mentally unable to cope.
I walked over to his bed before dipping under the covers and sink into the mattress.
"Did you find anything?" I asked.
"No, but I found possible places that she could be. I had to dig far enough to know her favourite places so that there could be any possible lead," he replied. I was quite disappointed by his reply because I wanted to know where she was and whether or not she was in danger.
"Get up then! We have to go and find her," Renjun sighed as I laid in his bed looking soulless.
"Okay," I managed to speak out. I had no energy whatsoever and was exhausted and weak without her presence.
I forced myself out of Renjun's bed and immediately went back to her room to get dressed when I heard someone knocking. Ugh there's so much knocking today it's pissing me off. I thought to myself.
I didn't reply but they opened the door anyways. My sighs were met with Taeyong's 'hurry the fuck up unless you want your girl to be taken by someone else' face. We were already out of the door and in the van within the next few minutes and on the way to one of her favourite places that Renjun found.
1 hour later
We arrived at a lake which seemed pretty familiar. Elena and I used to come here when she was still alive. I didn't know that this was one of Jaerin's favourite places and that she spent most of her lonely days here.
I knew Jaerin since childhood but then when I met Elena, I didn't spend as much time with Jaerin. And when Elena passed away, Jaerin had already long forgotten about me. We were quite close whilst growing up until last year when all her memories of us just vanished into thin air.
We walked around the river, checking the bushes and by the lake, also the little play area and we searched the play house. Nothing had signs of her anywhere.
We searched up and down the roads and checked the area 3 times before residing with the fact that she wasn't here. The day was passing quickly and there was no sign of her.
My heart was pacing out of my chest, my breathing quickened and my legs starting feeling weak. I hoped that Jaerin is not a repeated case like Elena. It took me months to get over Elena's death and i wasn't ready for it to occur again.
Flashback
"Hyuck! Let's go to the lakeside please. We haven't been in months," she whined. It's true that we hadn't been in months but something was telling me that we shouldn't go.
Elena begged me to take her to her most favourite place. The lakeside. But I was really exhausted that day yet since she hadn't visited it in so long I agreed on taking her there.
"Go get changed and we're leaving," I smiled. Her eyes sparkled as her smile overtook the other features on her face.
We got in the car and it takes just over an hour to get to the lakeside from the base yet she was exhilarated. I could see the happiness in her eyes as they sparkled in the sunlight.
"Hyuck...are we there yet?" She pouted, I could tell that she was getting quite impatient with the long car journey but we were almost there.
"We're almost there, Elena. Just 5 more minutes and we'll be there," I explained and she nodded.
I was quite nervous because I was planning to propose to her and then get married in a few years. The anxiety hit me when we arrived, placing the ring box in my right pocket.
We walked hand in hand towards the bridge on the lake until someone ripped her out of my hold. Her screams were muffled, a hand covering her mouth with a gun to her head.
I tried to stay calm and get her away from him but my nerves got the best of me.
"Let her go! Take me instead of her!" I shouted, I knew very well that this wasn't going to end well.
"No! I want her for myself so I'm going to kill her in front of you and let you love the rest of your life in pain and resent," he shouted back, his eyes held flames as his hand that was once covering her mouth was mouth gripped around her neck.
She tapped his hand continuously but he wouldn't budge. Her air holes were starting to close due the pressure, she kept coughing while trying to get out of his hold until he got a call.
"Get here, we need backup!" He screeched through the phone.
I need to get out of here with Elena fast yet there was no hope. The boys were all on an important mission so there was no way that they could be of any help.
His backup came almost immediately and held me back, handcuffing me to a pole while I tried struggle my way out of their hold.
I watched as they forced Elena to her knees in front of me, tears staining her pink cheeks, bruises covering her neck. I was on the verge of tears until I saw the gun held against her temple and shot through her head.
My heart sank and tears endlessly spilled out like a waterfall. I put my hand in my right pocket and felt the ring box that I was supposed to have proposed to her with.
I had plans for our future: engagement, wedding, kids, house, jobs...everything that was needed to keep a family together. We spoke to each other every night about these things. Yes we are both in high school and we were very mature for our age but I loved her and the one thing that I treasured the most in the world was her. And they took her away from me.
My hand was still cuffed to the pole as her body dropped to the floor before my eyes. I didn't get to tell her that I loved her one last time yet she laid before me, blood flowing out the side of her as a tear left from the corner of her eye. Watching her on the floor made me feel dizzy and I passed out.
Those were mine and her last painful moments with together. I should've listened to my gut instinct.
Hours has passed and I had woken up in my bedroom. Everyone surrounded me, worry filled their eyes, some with tears and other with anger.
"Where's Elena?" the first question that slipped out my mouth. Everyone looked at me as though I was oblivious.
"She's dead, hyuck. Do you not remember?" Taeyong spoke, his voice broke as he tried to complete his statement.
"Huh? She's what?" I panicked. It's not that I didn't know but I didn't want to believe it.
"It's okay, hyuck. She's in a better place now," Mark sniffled, trying to hold back his tears.
"Don't ever call me Hyuck again. She used to call me that," my voice was coated with tears and hurt.
Everyone could visually see the pain and hurt in my eyes yet they couldn't do anything about it.
"I-is s-she having a-a f- funeral?" I stuttered. I closed my eyes and sighed, this is my reality.
"Her body was found at the other side of the woods from where we found you. So she'll be having her funeral by next week latest," Taeyong said firmly.
I could only hope that it was all a dream.
3 days later
We were at her funeral. Her body helplessly laid in the coffin; the fact that she was living and breathing not too long ago shattered my heart. The future that we had planned together was all ruined and I don't think I'd be able to ever move on.
—
The funeral ended pretty quickly and I went back home and locked myself in my room and refused to leave. I cried myself to sleep everyday since then until I became immune to the heartbreak.
I never got over her death and it still affected me to the point where I wouldn't eat or drink anything for days until Taeyong broke down the door and force fed me.
I was glad that someone cared but no one around the house would talk about her and it was almost as though she had never existed to begin with. I missed her presence more than anything and to not have her bought me to tears just at the thought of her.
1 month later
I was on the way to Jaerin's house since I hadn't visited her in so long. I knocked on her doors and her maid, Ms Jung opened the door and let me in.
I went up to her room and she was crawled up into a ball on her bed against the wall. Bruises painted her body and tears stained her pink cheeks. She resembled Elena quite a bit and I was more than upset to see that.
"Who are you?" Her tiny voice managed to speak out.
"W-who am I?" I questioned.
My heart shattered at the fact that she questioned who I was. Could she have forgotten me? Were our memories together wiped away?
I tried to approach her but she backed further away in the corner.
"Dont hurt me please," her voice cracked and it pained me.
"Bro- Jaerin it's me, Hyuck. I would never hurt you," I said softly, trying to reassure her but it was useless.
"I don't know anyone called Hyuck. Leave please. I don't want you to hurt me," her voice held suffering but I couldn't quite figure out what it was.
Before I could say more I heard her father's footsteps approach her bedroom. "Donghyuck, leave immediately," her father demanded.
"I'm not going anywhere if she's forgotten about me. I request you tell me what has happened," I was awfully frightened of her father, especially knowing that there was always something he was involved in.
"I demand you to leave or I'm going to kill you and and her together," he raised his voice, my eyes widened at his tone so I immediately left the premises of her home.
Countless questions ran through my mind but before I could say anything, I had already left and walked back to the base, tears streaking down my face.
How did she forget me?
Present
The time was already 21:30 pm and there was no sign of her so Taeyong decided that we'd go home and start her search again tomorrow.
It has already been over a whole day without her presence and it was slowly killing me inside. I had to wake up without her beside me once again. Her smile, laughter and pain we both shared.
Maybe because we grew up together made it feel like we were inseparable. I really missed her and I couldn't express it enough in words.
1 hour later
We finally arrived back home and the search exhausted me. The moment I touched her bed, tears flowed out of my eyes and lulled me to sleep.
Her scent was no longer on the pillows or covers. My scent coated the room whilst all my thoughts of her clouded my mind.
I need to know what happened to her when she forgot me. She hasn't recovered since...
"I want her back. She's the last of my love ones other than the rest of NCT, who were practically my family for the past 10 years," I dreamt.
____________________________________
u n e d i t e d
Hi-
So we found out about Elena...bet it wasn't watch your guys expected. It was a very random death but you'll fond out more about it in some later chapter.
But for now- bye 👋 see you in 3 days 😏😉