TW// blood warning, of self-harm, anxiety, panic attack
I heard a noise coming from my computer and immediately looked. He replied. My heart dropped as I read the message.
-Why not?
No one's Point Of View:
It really is funny. How such a short and simply message can break a person. And that is exactly what it did to Bad. Just a pure little question. No big thoughts behind it. His phone escaped his grip making a loud thud as it fell onto the floor.
BadBoyHalo's Point Of View:
I grab my chest in pain and my voice became heavier. I tried calming myself down but instead I just started trembling. My vision became blurry even though I was wearing my glasses. Why did that question freak me out so much? I can just lie to him...
I picked up my phone from the carpet, and with trembling fingers I typed out an answer. It actually took me about a whole minute to type it out. I still don't know if what I said was correct; I was in too much pain to concentrate.
Skep <3
nAo I am fiune doon;t worry-
I threw my phone on the desk and leaned back on my chair. Everything hurt. I felt like I would die any minute now. I tried taking deep and long breaths but I couldn't open my mouth. Skeppy..please...help me.
I knew he wouldn't help me. He isn't even here. He doesn't know what is happening to me. He doesn't care about me. I am all alone. Just like always.
Tears escaped my eyes as I bit into my lip in order to not let out any sobs escape my mouth. I felt horrible. I just wanted to disappear. This is too much stress for me to handle.
Grab your razor! It will help you. It will calm you down.
That thought was spinning around my head. Maybe I should give in. Maybe I should listen to the voice. I reach out to the drawer underneath my desk and press the blade against my hand. It hurt. It hurt so much. I could feel a stinging sensation coming from my hand. I will deal with that later.
Just as I start to calm down I saw my phone ringing. Debating whether or not I need to pick up I press accept call. Why do I always put myself in situations like this?
[Bold =Skeppy Normal=Bad
"Hello Bad. I am sorry that I left you alone in that call earlier, my phone died." The calming voice spoke, sending shivers down my spine. Tears were forming in the corners of my eyes. Why did his voice freak me out so much?
"Oh and also did you eat yet?" Oh no. I have to lie. But I don't think he can believe me when I am like this. I clench my chest and make up the words I will tell him.
"I uh, I did. D-did you?" I said trying to make my voice sound as normal as I possibly could. I wasn't sure if it worked since Skeppy hasn't replied yet.
"I am sure you have Bad. Now tell me the truth. Did. You. Eat." He said his relaxing voice sounding harsh and cold. How am I such a bad liar?
"Y-yeah I did! I already told you. I ate...pasta!" "Bad...You are gluten free. How did you eat pasta?" His voice began to sound weak like mine. Why am I hurting the ones I love the most. It is all my fault.
"It was gluten free pasta. You di-didn't think that I would forget did you?" I said fake giggling at the end to make it sound more convincing.
"Judging by your reaction, yes I do." He paused for a few seconds before continuing. "Bad, you said you wouldn't lie to me. Now; I am going to ask one more time. And please answer truthfully, did you or did you not eat lunch today?"
Why is he pushing me so much? Of course I didn't! Isn't obvious? Is he doing this purely for his own entertainment?
"I-yeah! As I said before Skeppy, I did eat. Gluten-free pasta. Don't worry." I said and just like that, silence descended across the call.
"Fine. But please, take care of yourself. I love you and you make me so worried sometimes. In less than two days I will be there and I hope that I find you safe and happy okay?"
Less than two days? That is too little time. I won't be able to change my body. To look perfect in time...
"Yeah, no don't worry. I am just fine." I can't speak anymore. Everything hurts too much. I just want to lie down.
I grabbed the razor blade and pressed it up against my bare skin. I never do this twice a day and it hurt too much. I knew how much it would hurt. I knew how hard it will be later to hide the scars from him; but I couldn't help myself. It was the only solution I had left.
"I love you. I love you so much. Please remember this. If you hurt yourself, you are hurting me too. So please take care of yourself. Have a good afternoon. I love you"
"Thank you" I said and he ended the call. I felt alone again. I looked down on my arms and noticed how much they were bleeding. I really need to take care of this. I left my phone on the chair and made my way to the bathroom; almost tripping on thin air.
Skeppy's Point Of View:
I hang up the phone and lean back on my chair. I knew what was happening behind the scenes. I knew he was suffering. I have never whished for two days to pass faster in my entire life. The only thing I want is to hold him closely and tight, make him feel at ease. Tell him how much of an awesome person he is and how much I appreciate him.
Today is the day I decided to go to the store in order to buy him a little gift. It didn't have to be something big since I know how much he doesn't like me spending money on him and saying "It is irresponsible and irrational".
I took this opportunity to take Rocco out on a walk, since I probably won't see him for a while. I call out for his name and I saw him sprinting from the upstairs bedroom. I pat his fuzzy head and he opens his mouth to lick my hand.
I reach for his leach and put it around his body. I grab my keys, wallet and phone as I exist the house, realizing I am not wearing shoes. I groan in annoyance and I open the door again to put on a pair.
Checking if I had forgotten anything and making sure I wouldn't have to come back here, I leave my house.
The store isn't that far away so it won't take that long. I will call Bad as soon as I return.
I begin walking on the pavement looking around at my surroundings. I could see people in groups hanging out and laughing. I haven't heard him genuinely laugh in so long. I need to clear my mind.
I was getting closer to the shop I usually go to buy gifts. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it was the one closer to where I live.
I tie Rocco's leash on a pole and pat his head. "Hey buddy, I will be out in a few minutes okay? You be careful" I say to him as I enter the shop.
The bell rings as soon as I open the door and I am greeted by an employee. "Hello sir, how may I help you today? Are you looking for anything?"
I snap out of my thoughts and try to make out an answer. "Uh-No no I just want to look around to; to buy a gift for a friend!" "This way!" the employee pointed to an aisle which I can assume it was for gifts.
I turn around the corner and look for something to catch my eye. And then I saw it. It was a somewhat big muffin plushy. I scoff to myself as I take it out of the shelf. Hopefully this will make him smile.
I start making my way to the till so as to pay. "Hey, can I please have this?" "Of course, could I please take it to scan it?" I hand the employee the plushy and wait for them to hand it back.
"Your total will be 5.34$ please." "Does it have a discount?" I said with confusion plastered all over my face. "No, it isn't. I can just tell this is an important gift, isn't it?" "Yeah...it is. Thank you." "Would you like it in a gift bag?" the employee asked me "Sure!"
I pay for everything and exit the store. I spot Rocco were I left him and untied his leash. "Let's head back shall we Rocco?" I said with a soft voice. Rocco wagged his tail back and forward putting a smile on my face.
I begin walking with him when I feel my phone buzz inside my pocket. I take it out and notice it was a Twitch notification. My expression changed in a second and I dropped the bag I was holding. I could feel my whole stomach twisting and turning.
BadBoyHalo went live!
[Word Count:1.593]
[Author's Note]:
Hello, wow this was a long chapter. Sorry that it took a while to write, I promise more chapters will be coming out soon! I would like to say a big thank you for 500+ views and all of the votes, you guys are amazing and keep me motivated to write more :D Sorry for any typo or grammar error. Once again thank you for all the support :] I hope that I will be able to publish the next chapter soon. But it will have a lot of angst so prepare yourselves for that.
Until then, have a good morning/evening/night :D
-Mel