january 4th, 2024
10:28 pm
AYOLUWA LEANED BACK in the town car she was sharing with her assistant, Amy and her manager, Gloria.
She was looking out the window as the car passed through the neighborhood of Soho.
They had just come back from a full day of interviews and photoshoots and now we're on their way to their respective homes.
The two women across from her were saying something but Ayoluwa couldn't focus on it properly.
Her mind was on Joshua.
He had said that he still wanted to be with her but...
"Ayo? Ayo!" Gloria called to her.
Ayoluwa flickered her eyes over to the Cuban woman, "'G'?"
"I just wanted to know if you wanted to do that interview at The Breakfast Club?"
Ayoluwa made a face at the suggestion, "No. I don't know why they keep asking."
Amy simply shrugged.
The car turned a corner onto the street that held her apartment and Ayoluwa began to squirm just a bit, her stomach flipping from unease.
Ever since the debacle with that other girl, Ayoluwa and Joshua had been walking on eggshells around each other, not speaking, not interacting at all with each other.
Sometimes, it was so quiet in the apartment, that Ayoluwa could've sworn that she heard herself breathe.
"Um, actually," Ayoluwa called to the driver, "Can you drop me at West 27th Street instead? Thank you."
Gloria raised an eyebrow as the car made a u-turn, "The studio? You sure? It's been a long day."
"Yeah. I don't really feel like going home." Ayoluwa forced a smile.
Gloria blinked then glanced at Amy who shrugged.
Ayoluwa leaned her head against the cushy seats and let out a soft breath through her nose.
"You should get some tea or something. Maybe a croissant too," Amy started typing on her phone, presumably looking for the nearest Starbucks but Ayoluwa put her hand up.
"The tea sounds good but," She shook her head, "I haven't been hungry lately. Been kinda nauseous, actually."
"But..." Amy trailed off then sighed, "Okay."
The car stopped in front of a black building that expanded side to side instead of going up towards the sky.
Gloria glanced up from her phone, "You want me to call you a car when you're done?"
Ayoluwa slid towards the door, grabbed her purse and then shook her head, "No. I can do it. I'll see y'all tomorrow?"
"Yeah. Be safe, Ayo." Amy called out.
"Y'all too!" Ayoluwa said as she got out and then closed the car door shut behind her.
Ayoluwa nodded at the guard sitting behind the desk in the lobby as she made her way further into the building.
Once she spotted an empty studio, Ayoluwa quickly claimed it for herself, putting her laptop and her sticker covered and slightly beat up songbook on the soundboard.
Ayoluwa put her hair up and sat down in the tall computer chair with a deep sigh before starting to flip through the notebook.
Seconds later, I Wish I Wasn't by Heather Headley was playing through the studio with red velvet encased walls.
Ayoluwa had to take a break from the world and the recording studio was the perfect way to do so.
"I wish I wasn't in love with you so you couldn't hurt me," Ayoluwa sang along, "It just ain't fair, the way you treat me, no you don't deserve me."
She landed at an empty page, signaling that she was at the end of her song ideas.
Ayoluwa let out a frustrated groan before throwing the book at the closed door and creating a thumping sound.
"Ugh," She rested her hands over the sides of her temples and began to massage.
The sound of the door clicking open caused her to look up.
Robert was standing in the door frame, dressed in a blue Champion hoodie looking down at her with his eye brows scrunched, "I thought I was the only one who liked to be at the studio late at night."
Ayoluwa laughed a little, "Nope."
"And you're in your feelings too?" Robert stepped further into the studio and closed the door behind him, "Can I sit?"
Ayoluwa paused the song and gestured at the empty chair beside her, "Please."
Robert grinned before picking up her songbook and joining her, "Frustrated?"
"Understatement. I was trying to find a song to base a melody off of but for the life of me, I can't get anything to stick." Ayoluwa sighed.
Robert began to flip through and Ayoluwa made a grab for it which only caused the slightly older man to move back.
"Hold on. This is interesting." Robert said.
Ayoluwa narrowed her eyes, "What is?"
"This song called 'Better'. I fuck with this song. You wrote this by yourself?" Robert scooted forward in his chair, the songbook open in his hands.
Ayoluwa glanced over at slightly faded lyrics written in blue ink and smiled at the memory, "Oh wow. Yeah, I wrote that song when I started to really blow up and had to be away from my family for a while. I totally forgot about that song."
"You should put it on the album." Robert responded.
"Ion know. It might not connect with my audience. It's about family and when people think of me, they don't think of someone who regularly sings about missing their family. Plus, I never found a guy who could sing the first verse." Ayoluwa leaned away from the soundboard.
"Just try a little section. I think I have a beat to match this." Robert replied.
Ayoluwa was clearly about to say no when Robert grabbed her hand and she looked down in alarm.
"I'm your producer. You have to listen to me and I wanna hear you sing." Robert said, his gaze steady on her.
Ayoluwa pursed her lips to the side a little at the physical contact, "Fine."
Once Ayoluwa was in the booth, she released her locs so that she could properly fit the headphones over her scalp then closed her eyes to get in the zone.
Even with everything going on in her personal life and the person who convinced her to keep singing, it was still the only thing that bought her peace, especially nowadays.
An R&B instrumental with a slow and repeating 808 started to play and Ayoluwa started to sing, "I wanted to be better, a better sister. Be there for my brother, you know I love ya. Be there for my grandma, she know all my songs, yeah. Be there for my daddy, he need a sidekick, be there for my best friend, someone to kick with, this high demand shit fuck with my plans, yeah. Sometimes, you gotta leave, you don't even wanna. Sometimes, you gotta leave and you don't even wanna."
Ayoluwa could hear Robert start to clap from outside of the booth and sent him a playful grin, "You're stupid."
She heard Robert speak to her through the headphones, "Sing to me."
The phrase made Ayoluwa's heart clench a little.
Joshua used to ask her that all of the time and hearing it from another man made her feel off.
"Ayoluwa? You okay?" Robert asked.
"Yeah. Yeah, let's try the first verse." Ayoluwa shook her head and refocused in on her music.
NOTE FROM KY
The song she sings and 'writes' is above!
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