hello again - here i am...
i'm turning 16 on friday - practise driving, here we come! (can't drive until 18 in this cursed country!!!) so i'm looking forward to that---
nothing much else to tell you, so i'll let you continue to the story... have a nice week!!
xoxo
You don't know what obsession is...
Until you meet me.
Chapter 5
Cain's POV
I sighed heavily and opened my eyes. Just as yesterday, I hadn't been able to sleep at all. I felt so unbearably lonely without her in my arms.
I wished I could tell her, so I wouldn't have to be without her - but what if she ran away and I had to live my whole life without her? I wouldn't be able to handle that.
I frowned and remembered when I had woken up without her. I'd never felt so alone, so much in pain that I tGhad in that moment. I thought she was supposed to deal the Bond between us too, now. How could she leave me? Ugh!
I groaned and drew my hands through my hair. The air around me was dark as night thanks to the hangings. I didn't want to move - didn't want to leave my safe haven. But I did want to see her - I HAD to see her. The only thing that had stopped me from breaking into her house this weekend, was that I didn't want to scare her off. There were more than one way to do that, so I had to be careful. At the same time I wanted to confront her. Sigh. Again.
I sat up in the darkness and crawled out of my bed, only to be blinded by the eight-o'clock-in-the-morning light that was streaming in through the big windows. Time to get ready for school.
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She was talking with Emma, Hanna and Rose at the far end of the parking lot. She hadn't noticed me yet, where I stood with Tommy and my sixteen-year old younger brother, Danny. Well, Daniel, really, but Danny is what everyone called him. They were both laughing at my lovestruck face. Whatever. They didn't know.
She looked up then, nervously glancing around the parking lot, and met my eyes. She froze for a moment, her gaze locked with mine, electric shocks running through both of our systems. God, I wanted her - again and again and again. But then she looked away, speaking a few quick words to her friends, and spun around, headed straight into the closed door behind her.
I took a worried half-step forward, almost reaching out my hand as to steady her from across the lot, while her friends were bent with laughter. Lily stumbled back a few steps before regaining her balance, and, beet-red, opened the door and went inside.
It was kind of cute, though I wished she wouldn't run away from me. Cause it was clear that that was precisely what she'd done - run from me.
I guessed that Tommy and Danny had figured that too, by the amused smiles they were wearing.
"Shut up." I growled at them, even though they hadn't said anything, and grabbed my bad from the ground and went to cross the lot. It wouldn't even be this awkward if not for them: my family, that is - my pack. Well, it probably would have, but I liked blaming them.
I had in memory each and every one of their smug, amused, confused and - in mom's and Bess' case - ecstatic faces as I came down into the kitchen, looking for Lily.
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The first thing my mom said as I entered the room, was, "She's not here, honey." I felt confused and a bit hurt as I grabbed a bowl of cereal, milk and a spoon from the counter before sitting down with a heavy sigh at the table. Everyone were looking at me.
"What?" I asked, and my sister Bess leaned over the table.
"So... Who is she?" she asked. I just looked at her, not answering. "What?" she said, defensing her right to ask her little brother about his sex life. "You've never spent the night with someone before, and never let them stay here. We're all curious!" Mom nodded in agreement, a big grin exposing her white teeth.
"She was beautiful", little four year old Sammie said, making me smile. Lily WAS beautiful, no argument there. Sammie's twin, Kenny, didn't say anything, but simply glared at his twin brother.
Kenny didn't like changes - at all. It didn't matter if there was a new brand of cereal in the cupboard over the counter, or if a new person entered our lives - he hated it. I wasn't worried, though: he would grow to like Lily eventually. It had been the same when Bess had found her mate, Frank Collins, a muscled giant next to her tiny frame. The top of Bess' red, fluffy hair barely reached to his chest. They looked kind of comical together, actually.
"We think she's his mate", I almost growled as Tommy answered the question on everyone's mind. There was no doubt whatsoever that Lily was my mate. Mom didn't look too surprised, just happy - I suppose dad had told her of our conversation that first day.
"Her name's Lily Hammond", I offered, unwillingly.
Then they all told me what had happened as Lily had left, and mom gushed about me finding my mate and of wanting to officially meet her, until I had fled out of there to run over to Lily's and spy on her, where I stayed, in her backyard for most of the weekend, in my wolf-form, as to not alarm the neighbors too much, and to keep my heightened senses.
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I saw Lily a few times again throughout the morning, but every time I was about to go up and talk to her, she turned and ran the other way as fast as she could, which hurt me. Why wouldn't she talk to me, barely look at me - didn't she feel the Bond at all? Had the Bonding not worked both ways? It was driving me mad with worry. If she didn't want to be with me even before she knew I was a werewolf, then how would she react if she found out?
At lunch, when unable to find her in the cafeteria, I followed her scent and the Pull to find her. She would talk to me, she had to - I would make her. The Pull took me across the school grounds and I wondered briefly what she was doing so far away from the food at lunchtime.
And then I turned a corner and saw Lily pressed against a locker by Jason. They were kissing. I was looking through a haze of burning red anger, and my muscles tensed to kill. But the hurt was worse. Lily. My Lily, my angel. How could she do this to me?
Then I heard Lily's voice: "Jason, you'd better let go of me, or I swear to God-", and I REALLY saw the scene before me. They weren't kissing - Jason was kissing Lily's neck, and she didn't look happy about it, almost disgusted. The relief that shot through my body would have brought me to my knees were it not for the new, intensified anger boiling my blood: it was one thing for her to want to kiss him - that I would have accepted even though it would have broken me, for at least she would have been happy - but another entirely if she was being forced against her will - I could not take for her to be hurt. And so - through the dark-red vision of my anger, and with me shaking in anger, I finished her sentence with a murderous voice:
"I will kill you."
Lily's POV
Mom gave me a ride to school again,and promised that she would sign me up for driving-lessons as soon as possible, probably by the end of the week. Then she had to speed away like crazy to get to work on time.
I managed to avoid both Jason (because he's an ass that I don't even want to look at) and Cain (for HAVING an ass that I wanted to look at WAY too much... Awkwardness being the other reason...) until lunchtime (though I could feel both of their stares burn at my skin all throughout the morning), but then I kind of (I hate to admit) lost my way, even after having gone to the school for a week already, and I ended up outside the music room just as Jason came out of it, looking slightly sweaty and very satisfied, towing a bottle-blonde with plastic boobs behind. The girl looked just as sweaty and her hair was a complete mess (much like mine had looked at 6 AM Saturday morning.
Yuck. I did not need the picture of the two of them going at it in the music room to be stuck in my head. I shivered from head to toe at the mere thought. That's disgusting (well, anything involving Jason could be considered such). I shivered again and was just about to run for it, when Jason spoke.
"Hello, Lily."
I watched his eyes as they slowly looked me up and down. Perv.
"Hello, Jason", I sighed.
"Jason!" whined Bottle-Blond from behind him.
"Go away", he told her without as much as a glance. Bastard.
"Actually", I said quickly, "you can stay. I was just about to leave, so..."
I turned around to go, but was stopped by a hard grip on my wrist. A second later, I was pushed up against one of the half-broken lockers, and Bottle-Blond was nowhere to be seen. There was just Jason and me, alone in an otherwise deserted corridor. It was an experience I could probably have lived without.
He pressed his body close to mine, but it was so un-sexy a feeling as I had ever felt. Then he started kissing my neck. Unbelievable! He just came out from what had obviously been more than a regular make-out session, and now he wanted more? With a completely different girl, too? That's sick!
"Jason, you'd better let go of me, or I swear to God-"
"I will kill you." I froze in my struggles to get free of Jason. I knew that voice. I had heard it every day for a week in my classes, asking or answering questions, I had heard it in the school corridors laughing with that Tommy-dude, I had heard it moaning my name in its king-sized double bed with dark hangings. Oh, man - not him too!
Jason's movements stilled, just as mine had (but I doubt it was because he knew that voice from having the best sex of his life - Ugh! Another scene I did NOT want to imagine!)
"Let go of her!" Cain Evans growled (though it was a very different growl than the one he'd made in bed). It was dark and menacing, as if he'd actually meant it when he'd threatened to kill Jason if he didn't obey orders.
Jason must have felt it too - it was in the air, of sort - because he softened his grip on my wrists and took a half-step back. But then Cain added something that didn't go home for neither Jason nor me:
"She's mine!"
What?
No, wait, scratch that, I meant WHAT?!
Jason seemed to think much the same way.
"What? What do you mean, 'she's yours'?"
I took advantage of his confusion, anger and the small space between us, and shoved my knee up to say a quick hello to his balls, then pushed him away from me as his grip loosened even more when he bent over in pain. Then I marched up to Cain Evans, who stood alone a few steps away, looking mean.
"I'm YOURS?!" I growled, glaring up at him.
"Yes", he said between clenched teeth, staring back into my eyes with an intensity that almost scared me a little.
It was such a simple answer, so direct and matter-of-fact, that it stunned me for a second. Then I took a deep breath, silently counting to three, and said:
"You. Do. Not. Own. Me."
"I don't own you", he agreed and I breathed a sigh of relief. "But you ARE mine." What? How does that even make sense?
I looked at him for a few seconds like he was crazy, just to let him know that I thought he was, and then said:
"The fact that we had sex does NOT make me your possession, OK?"
"You don't understa-" he started, but I cut him off.
"Look. You were probably drunk and I was DEFINITELY drunk, so it isn't that big of a deal, OK?" Actually I wasn't that drunk, but I saw no point in admitting that.
"You two had sex already?" I jumped, having completely forgotten Jason as he was lying on the floor.
"We were dunk", I said. "It didn't mean anyth-" Now it was my turn to be cut off.
"Yes it did!" Cain growled.
I stared.
"It was a one-night stand. Get over it." The words hurt me as I said them, but I couldn't figure out why.
"You don't understand-"
"You're right! I don't. Now please, leave me alone!"
I turned to leave again, but was once more stopped by a hand. It was so much softer than Jason's, and the grip was loose, as if trying hard not to hurt me - but still it was ten times rougher as he shoved me up against a locker. I hadn't even the time to wonder how he had managed to get the impact so soft after so hard a shove, before his lips were upon mine.
It was if possible even better than Friday night. Ten times better. If possible.
I couldn't stop myself - suddenly my arms were around his neck and my legs around his waist, and I was pressing my whole self against him as hard as I could. And still I wanted to be closer. I felt so comfortable in his presence, and so warm - like when I woke up in his arms. I belonged.
Why did I feel this way? I hadn't even had a real conversation with the guy yet - how the hell was it possible for him to make me feel this way? I couldn't stop. I HAD to be close to him. And I realized how much I had missed him this weekend, how cold I had felt without him by my side, and how SAFE I felt right now, in his arms.
One of his hands were at the back of my neck, holding me close, and the other at the small of my back, keeping the pressure from both him and the locker off of me a little. His soft lips against my own were paradise and the taste of him... It was heaven. The kiss had started out urgent and desperate - of longing for each other, mostly, and as if he was trying to tell me something; probably that the one-night stand DID mean something - but now it was simply because we enjoyed it. It wasn't as hard a kiss, nor as fast.
We were in our own little bubble... until someone cleared their throat.
Cain's POV
It was Emma Edwards and Jesse Gonzalez: I could feel their presence from the other end of the corridor, but hadn't bothered with it. I didn't think I could ever stop kissing her.
At first the kiss had been pure need for her to remember how it felt to be near me - for her to know that we belonged together and that Friday night actually had meant something more than just amazing sex. Now it was pure need for her, period.
Oh God, she was so beautiful, so sexy... and just as horny as I was - I could smell her hormones in the air, which only set me off even more. I pressed myself harder against her, letting her know how much I wanted her, and... Emma Edwards cleared her throat. Very pointedly, I might add. She could just as well have screamed at the top of her lungs: 'GET A ROOM!!!'
Lily blushed and pulled away, leaving me unsatisfied and horny as fuck. Luckily, I was wearing jeans and a loose shirt, so it wasn't as obvious as it could have been. Lily straightened herself out and looked over my shoulder at the intruders.
"Oh. Hi, Emma. Jesse", she said as she blushed even redder. Shit, how hot could one person get? (And how horny could another?) I took a deep breath and, ignoring the on-lookers, kissed her just below her ear. She couldn't seem to stop herself from moaning, though I could tell she tried. And then she tried to push me off, without success.
"Hello, Lily." Emma sounded amused. "Did we catch you at a bad time?" But before she could answer, I growled against her neck:
"Yes. Go away."
It was only the four of us in the corridor: Jason had left soon after we'd started making out.
"Well..." Emma cleared her throat again. "I was just going to tell you that the bell's about to ring, so..."
"Yeah, I'm coming", Lily said and ducked under my arm to flee the scene. I wouldn't let her.
I grabbed her arm and turned her back around to face me, and then I kissed her again. I would not allow her to forget me once again. As soon as she softened into the kiss, I let her go, missing the feel of her in my arms already. She stood for a moment, trying to compose herself (at which I couldn't help but smile. It gladdened me that I had that effect on her), before she turned, blushing anew, and walked over to Emma and Jesse.
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That had to be the longest afternoon I had ever had to sit through. All I could think of was Lily and that I had to wait until P.E. before I could see her again. Spanish and Math dragged by, second by bloody second, as I stared at the clock and fantasized of Lily's electric blue eyes. And then the clock hit the hour, and I all but ran to the changing rooms in my haste to see her. Tommy laughed at me, but shut up when I glared darkly at him. He didn't yet know how it felt to be mated. Ever since I saw her, I hadn't gone one full day without seeing her face. Her beautiful face. How I longed to touch it - draw lines across it with the tips of my fingers, to kiss her soft lips. Oh, man. Maybe Tommy was right: maybe I WAS crazy.
And then there she was, stunningly beautiful in plain shorts and T-shirt, with her soft hair in a ponytail. I could barely take my eyes off of her for the whole hour, and I couldn't care less if I was, indeed, crazy.
I showered and got dressed in record time, trying desperately to be out before Lily so that I could talk to her before she went home, but when I got to the parking lot, Emma Edwards' car was already gone. I sighed heavily and waited for Tommy to be done so that we could go home. I would go to her house later tonight.
Lily's POV
Emma was ranting madly as she drove to my house. I had dragged her out before she even had the time to shower, all because I didn't want to face Cain Evans.
I shuddered as I though of that kiss in the corridor earlier today. Don't get me wrong - it had been amazing, that was not the problem. The problem was that every time I was near him, and every time we touched, I seemed to loose control over myself, and all I could think of was ripping our clothes off so that we could get even closer. And the worst of all was that I didn't mind it. At all. I didn't mind loosing control around him, and I wouldn't mind a full on make-out session in the middle of a crowded corridor, or right out on the street. I wanted - I CRAVED - his lips on mine, his arms around my waist. And I still hadn't even talked to him properly.
Emma hadn't yet brought up the scene that had played out in the corridor between Cain and myself, and that I was grateful for. It was one conversation I would rather not have with Emma Edwards - what if she thought of me as a complete slut now? - but would gladly have, instead, with my New York-friends, Emily and Jenny. Well, not Emily - not since she and Matt...
I sighed. I missed New York.
Emma looked over at me as I sighed, and paused in her rambling, before suddenly asking:
"So... You and Cain Evans, then?"
"What?! No!" I said, way to panicky and loud. "What gave you that idea?!"
Emma raised an eyebrow at me, as if asking me why I even bothered trying.
Oh, shit.
I let out a breath and put my head in my hands.
"I don't know what happened", I said. "We we're fighting, because he was all 'You're mine!'" (I faked a bad imitation with a dark voice), "and I was like 'What? It was a one-night stand!' and he was like, 'You're mine!'" (The dark voice again), "and then we were kissing! Argh, it all went so fast!" I said it all in one breath and had to inhale sharply not to die when I finished.
Emma slammed down on the breaks, making the car come to a screeching halt. I stared at her, shocked, and she looked back at me wearing much the same expression.
"You had sex?!" she yelled in a high-pitched voice, hurting my ears. "You had sex with Cain Evans, and you didn't tell me?!"
I just kept staring at her for a second, hesitating.
"... I'm sorry?" It came out a question.
"You'd better be!" she said, but with a small smile this time. She started driving again. "So?" she asked.
I frowned, confused.
"So what?"
"So... was it any good?" she clarified, as if such a question was to be expected.
"Yeah..." I sighed. "And now I can't seem to get him out of my mind..."
"So what's the problem?" Emma asked, and I glared at her care-free face.
"Emma!" I hissed, "I haven't even had a real conversation with the guy! I feel like such a slut!"
"Look. You like him, don't you?" she asked, sounding as if she was talking to a three-year old with comprehension-problems. I glared again.
"I don't know! I mean, how am I supposed to know that without having talked to him?"
The car was silent for a minute.
"Well", Emma said slowly. "I know for a fact that he likes you. Anyone can tell, just by looking at him when he's around you." And with that, the conversation ended.
Really? Anyone could tell? As I looked out of the window, at the passing trees and houses, I couldn't help but smile a little at the thought.