B A D
B O Y ' S
G A M E
*Archer's pov*
The family get-together went surprisingly well, actually, it went better than I could have ever imagined. It was nice to be able to see my family, we hardly ever saw each other. While I didn't have my mom there, I did have my girlfriend. She made the get-together all the better and it seems like my family is a fan of her.
Yesterday she left my house around four, she had work at six and needed to go home and change. After she left I was bombarded by questions from my relatives, everyone wanting to know about our relationship and if we had discussed our post-graduation plans with one another. I answered all of their questions to the best of my ability, dodging the questions I couldn't find an answer for.
Aunt Bella left this morning and I left for my girlfriend's house shortly after.
Girlfriend.
'Girlfriend' is a new word that I've found myself using in any instance, the word makes me smile. I never knew how much a word could mean to me or how much a person could mean to me. Now I do.
"I have news," she says to me the moment I step into her home, a large smile on her beautiful face.
She opened the door promptly, expecting me to show up around ten. After shutting the front door she rushes over to the kitchen island and picks up an envelope, taking out the contents of the envelope in a matter of seconds. I make my way towards the kitchen, curious on as to what is making her so happy. She always wears a smile and yet this one is different from the rest.
I smile at the sight of her, her smile is contagious. Elliot Grey is an enigma, an enigma that I can't help but like.
"I was accepted at the school in New York that I told you about," she exclaims, her smile doesn't dare to leave her face as she shows me the acceptance letter.
Her smile refuses to fade, however, the smile on my face quickly fades.
"What?" I question although I clearly heard what she said the first time.
"I got accepted to the design school in New York," she says, happiness emitting from her.
I stay silent and simply stare at her, her words weren't necessarily shocking because she is academically inclined and she had mentioned that she applied to the school. Although I knew of her college options it still didn't help prevent the feelings I currently have. I can't act excited for her because I don't feel excited from the news, I feel both nervous and scared. She could leave before we even hit our six month anniversary, our time together would be short and complicated. The school is nearly three thousand miles away, it's across the country and it would mean that she's not a ten-minute drive away.
"Archer, are you not happy for me?" she asks, her smile is now smaller.
I wish I could be happy for her but I'm not. I say nothing in response to her and she receives her answer. Silence is enough for her, her smile disappears entirely.
"Three thousand miles," I whisper.
"Archer, we can do the distance," she states, not convincing me.
"Three thousand miles," I repeat louder.
She doesn't say anything this time, the words finally hit her. She realizes the gravity of it all.
"Grey, you're going to be nearly three thousand miles away from me. You're leaving me."
She opens her mouth, but no words come out.
"We just started and yet we're already drifting away from each other. We're literally drifting apart, you're going to be living a whole different life in a whole different state. I'm going to be here in California and you'll be in the city that never sleeps. Grey, I don't want to lose you. I don't know if I can lose you," I explain, hoping that she will reconsider the school.
She shakes her head, either to express disagreement or denial.
"You're not going to lose me. I'm not leaving you, I'm simply going to college. It's going to be okay," she says, trying to reassure me.
Her attempts only act as mere attempts. Her words failed to calm me, they only cause more doubts.
"If it's three words that will make you stay, I'll say them," I say rashly.
Her eyes widen a bit at the statement and she drops the envelope. She looks at me with sadness, her happy expression is a thing of the past.
"Archer, stop. You're not going to say the three words. You're not going to do this to me now. Please don't be unfair and guilt me into staying here. Please don't," she says, her voice gets shakier by the word.
She's near tears, her heart is on her sleeve.
"I don't want to hear the three words like this," she says softly.
I stare at her, however, she doesn't stare at me. Her gaze is towards the ground.
"I'm sorry, I have to go," I say softly and head towards the front door.
Running away is cowardly but I'm a coward. I couldn't help but be a coward. I'm afraid.
I open and shut the door quickly, not wanting to see her cry because of me.
Was I being selfish? Was I scared? Was I being an asshole?
Yes.
* * *
"I fucked up didn't I?" I ask Zac.
Zac's leaned against his car and I'm next to him with a bottle of alcohol in hand. We met up at my house five minutes ago, I called Zac asking for him to come over. I didn't know what I would say to Zac but I knew that he would give me some good advice nevertheless. When I got home I grabbed myself a drink as if it was an instinct.
Zac looks straight ahead at the street, looking down at the bottle a second later. He doesn't bother to reply to my initial question.
"You're still drinking? I'm surprised that Ellie hasn't convinced you to stop," he says to me.
I stare at the bottle myself, knowing that I shouldn't resort to alcohol.
"I promised her that I wouldn't drink as much," I state, regretting my decision to drink at a time like this.
"And yet you're standing here with a bottle of vodka. I'm glad that you can keep your promises... You want her to stay with you and yet you do shit like this," he begins, rolling his eyes after his beginning statements, "I dare you to open that bottle and take a sip. I dare you to because that's the same as daring you to lose any trust that she has in you."
I stare at Zac but he doesn't look at me back.
"I don't want to lose her trust, I don't want to lose her," I mumble.
He flicks my arm hard before pulling out a photo of him and Arden smiling, it comes from his wallet.
"Hey, it's okay to be scared. I'm scared too. I'm afraid of losing Arden when she studies abroad, she hasn't decided when she's going to study abroad but it's definitely going to happen. She's planning to travel this summer too. While it may not be easy to deal with distance, it's something that you have to learn to do. If you love someone you learn how to make it through the difficult times," he tells me.
I keep silent, realizing that her going was something she just had to do.
"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were," he recites to me, the famous Kahlil Gibran quote.
I give a small smile, knowing what I have to do. I have to let her go and live her dream. It wouldn't be fair to keep her from going to New York.
"I thought I was the poet, Zac," I say in response, putting down the bottle.
He gives a smile back before replying, "she's going to come back to you. Archer, she loves you just as much as you love her."
"I know, it's only three thousand miles. She's a plane ride away, there's Skype."
"It's only three thousand miles. She's a plane ride away, there's Skype," he repeats, reassuring me.
"I love her," I tell him.
"I know you do," he replies.
"I loved her yesterday, I love her today, I will love her tomorrow."
"I know," he says.
"I have to let her go," I admit, confident in my decision.
"You have to let her go."
I have to let her go and I'm going to. If you love someone you have to let them go.
I pick up my phone and text her.
I'm so sorry, El. I'll be at your house in ten minutes. I want you to go to New York. I won't say the three words, I won't yet.