16/May/2021
Sometimes i feel like my world centered around getting my family appreciation or acceptance. i don't say always or i am stupid person to achieve good result depends on their behavior towards me. because if i accept this statement i feel like i will be broken beyond mend. i don't to see sorry figure of mine. Day by day things are getting worst. i should remind myself again and again. few people you can't change, if that person have already create a statement in her mind towards you so no matter what you will do you will not change that person's point of view until that person herself wants to change. I have to accept that no matter how good i am , how much sacrifices i do for them, they will always think of me worst kind of person so i should stop. i should start living my own life. i am ruining my life because of thinking always thinking of what kind of mistakes i did commit to get bullied this way. Now i have panic attacks , depression and suicidal thoughts just because of unresponsive situation. someone once told me if they wants to bully you or abuse you physically or mentally they will not need a reason for it but i didn't believe it. i thought maybe if we talk we could change things, maybe we can be happy family. but they had their own plans to isolate me.