Please read the Writer's note before continuing to read this chapter.
RANSOM:
"Are you sure?" I ask Evelyn, who has already tried to take my sweater off.
"Yes!" Evelyn says, sounding breathless. "B-But...will you be um...be rough on me? I-I d-don't want that." she sheepishly says, looking down at her hands.
I still find it cute how innocent Evelyn sounds whenever she tries to talk dirty – even though I know she isn't as innocent as she sounds.
When we have had our intimate moments in the past...there were quite a few times when she wanted it rough.
But this time, she wants it to be gentle.
She wants to make love!
I know I didn't make love to her in the shower...I was rough, but I really wanted her. She was standing completely naked before me, and her body was so damn intoxicating!
I exhale. "Hey..." I lift her chin up so I can look into her beautiful eyes. "I promised that I would make love to you back at Harlan's house, and I plan to follow through with my promise."
Evelyn starts to talk, but I speak over her. "And that does not include me being rough on you." I reassure her.
She needs a good spanking however!
Maybe I need to make a mental note to do just that when she is snooping again...
Evelyn's lips twitch upward, but then she exhales a sharp breath. "S-So you w-won't hurt me?"
"Please stop stuttering. You know that you can talk about this openly with me. You don't need to be afraid to talk dirty."
Truthfully, I cannot stand her stuttering. It makes me think that she doesn't trust me enough to talk openly with me.
"I-I'm sorry." Evelyn closes her eyes.
I tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. "You don't need to apologize. We have been sleeping together for a long time. You know I will listen to your requests, if you make any."
Evelyn looks back up at me and arches a brow.
She's giving me that "are-you-serious?" look.
"Well I try to listen to you." I remark.
I lean forward and I kiss her forehead. I then move my lips lower so that our lips touch, and I kiss her softly.
Her lips are so damn soft!
One thought crosses my mind...
I need to make sure that I don't hurt Evelyn this time.
Making love is not my forte. It's one part of me I struggle to do – and Evelyn knows this.
"But wait..." Evelyn whispers. "In the shower...didn't we already...we already –"
"Make love in the shower?" I complete her sentence.
I know she is going to take a while to fully explain that we had our intimate time in the shower.
"That was not me making love to you. That was me being rough. You would have noticed that I wasn't being that gentle with you." I point out.
"Oh." Evelyn murmurs.
I kiss her lips again. "So this time, I will not be as rough." I whisper.
I cannot hurt you! Not this time. I need to be gentle with you.
"Do you promise?" Evelyn blinks slowly at me.
"Yes." I slowly caress her lips with my finger.
Evelyn closes her eyes for a brief moment. She opens her eyes again and grabs my sweater. She pulls me in for a kiss and her hands find their way to the hem of my sweater.
I break our kiss so Evelyn can remove my sweater. Her eyes widen as she looks at my chest.
She looks at my face and then back to my chest, and her fingers lightly brush over my skin.
I inhale sharply, closing my eyes.
Does Evelyn have any idea how her touch effects me?
It feels like she is sending shock waves all over my body – and it makes me feel alive.
Plus it makes me want Evelyn even more!
None of the other women who I hooked up with made me feel the way Evelyn makes me feel.
None!
I wrap my arms around Evelyn and I unzip her dress, making it fall to her waist. I then pick Evelyn up and I lay her down on the bed so I can remove her dress completely.
I bite my lip when I see Evelyn's bare skin as I slowly slide off her dress.
She looks so fucking beautiful!
I crawl on top of her and I lean my head down so our lips can touch. I make sure that I don't kiss her too hard that there's no blood flow in her lips.
I need to be gentle! I cannot hurt Evelyn!
I force my tongue in her mouth, but she doesn't allow me.
Evelyn moves her fingers to my chest and then to my torso and I moan.
It feels so good!
I can feel that I am getting harder as I kiss Evelyn – and my pants are getting too tight for me to wear.
I don't know how long I will last, but I cannot rush what I am doing. I made a promise to Evelyn, and I plan to stick to it.
Evelyn's hands move lower until they reach the hem of my pants. I press my waist down so she can feel my growing bulge on her.
"Ah!" Evelyn moans against my lips, which turns me on even more.
My pants are getting too tight for me!
"Remove them." I say quickly, because my pants might break.
Evelyn wastes no time pulling my pants down, and my manhood is finally free.
Evelyn looks at me through her eyelashes and I wrap my hands around her to remove her bra, showing her breasts.
I kiss her soft lips and I push her back gently so that she is laying down again. I then move my lips to her neck and then to her breasts. I blow on one nipple, which makes Evelyn squirm underneath me.
"You need to stay still." I say a little too firmly.
"But what if I cannot stay still?" Evelyn counters.
I really should do something about her smart mouth...
"I guess we will have to find out." I chuckle.
"You said you wouldn't hurt me."
I let out a laugh. "My beautiful Evelyn...I am not going to hurt you. I just need you to stay still."
I lean back down and blow on her other nipple, and Evelyn doesn't squirm as much this time.
"Good girl." I smirk.
I lower my lips to her torso until I kiss past a scar I spot that is next to her belly button.
It's...it's one of the hickeys I made – when I actually hurt Evelyn in that damn room!
Suddenly, Evelyn grabs a pillow and hides her body, but I grab hold of the pillow.
"Why are you putting a pillow over your body?"
Your gorgeous body!
"M-My scars...t-they make me look ugly." Evelyn shyly says.
What is she talking about?
I sit back, shocked at what she just said. "You think these scars make you look ugly?" I ask. "But I made them." I say out loud – which I shouldn't have done.
Evelyn looks away and tries to cover herself with another pillow, but I take the pillow away.
Evelyn...thinks these scars I gave her makes her look ugly?
What have I done?
Have I made Evelyn feel like she is ugly? Am I the reason she thinks that she is ugly?
"I-I'm sorry." I close my eyes.
I want to stop this. I shouldn't carry on.
But she might think that I find her body ugly – which I don't!
I want to tell Evelyn how sorry I am for making these scars on her body.
Why did I have to hurt her like this in the past?
Oh! Because you wanted to make sure that you left your mark on her so it would tell other men that she was taken you fool!
"Ransom..." I hear Evelyn speak, interrupting my thoughts.
I open my eyes and I look at her body again.
Her body really is a masterpiece.
"Y-You don't have t-to feel sorry. I-I could have stopped you, but I didn't." Evelyn's voice is small, but her voice is soothing to my ears.
I exhale. "You...You don't need to hide any of these scars from me. I made them and..." I lean down to kiss the scar that is next to her belly button. "I still think you look beautiful with each of these scars." I begin to kiss each scar I see while whispering "beautiful" after each scar I find.
"Oh Ransom!" Evelyn cries, her voice breaking.
I move so that Evelyn can look in my eyes.
There are tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "I am truly sorry that I hurt you like this." I bow my head. "I just...I just wanted other men to know that you were mine. You are the only one for me. You are mine." I admit – whispering the last sentence.
Evelyn's lip quiver before she exhales. "I know...and no other man has ever wanted to be with me since I have been with you." Evelyn cups her hands on my face.
I look up and arch a brow at her. "No other man?"
She nods. "No other man has ever liked me, other than you."
"Are you kidding? What about Ian? Or Jake? Or that guy at the one party we went to?"
"Ian is engaged. He has a child. Besides...I wouldn't want to be with any other man." Evelyn gently strokes my cheek with her thumb. "Because I want to be with you." Evelyn sits up to kiss me – a little too hard – on my lips. "Only you."
I pull away gently. "Evelyn..."
"Let's not think about what guy you think likes me – because none of them do. All I want to think about is your body intertwined with mine." Evelyn says softly, kissing me again.
She's right! My mind needs to be focused on Evelyn...only Evelyn.
I proceed to slide my fingers down to hook them in her underwear, and I pull them down.
I look down and I suddenly have an idea.
I want to taste her first!
I place my hands on her breasts as I bend down to kiss her on her sweet spot.
A spot I only know of! I spot I know that will arouse her!
"Ransom!" Evelyn screams.
Ah! I like it when she screams my name, because only I can make her feel this way.
I kiss her on her sweet spot again, and she moans this time.
Her moaning is making me aroused.
I move my tongue around inside her folds and I feel her hands are on my hair, and she is pulling on my hair.
Fuck! That feels so good!
"Wait! Ransom! I don't want to...to..." Evelyn says breathlessly.
I don't stop. I continue to taste her until her legs shake as she reaches her climax.
"Ah! No!" Evelyn groans.
Hmm...she tastes so fucking sweet!
"Sorry sweetheart. I wanted to taste you first." I whisper.
And now I need to release myself! Shit! I'm too hard.
I lift my head and I lick my lips. "And you taste delicious."
I slide my body up so I can kiss her on her lips, but Evelyn's mouth stays open. She doesn't kiss me back.
"You cannot be finished already?" I chuckle.
"I...I d-didn't want you to d-do that." Evelyn's voice sounds breathless. Her chest is rising and falling a little too quick.
"Why not?" I furrow my brows.
"Because I...I...I can't say it."
"Just say it. You need to tell me what you want." I say, keeping my voice calm.
"I...I wanted to feel you inside me." Evelyn wrinkles her nose.
I laugh softly. "Oh don't you worry. We will get there." I assure her, kissing her softly on her cheekbone.
"In fact..." I bring my lips to her ear. "You will get your wish right now." I place my elbows on either side of her, bringing my head back up. "Now this might hurt, but you need to tell me if I am hurting you."
Evelyn has to tell me for I fear I might get carried away and hurt her.
Evelyn starts to breathe at a faster pace, closing her eyes.
"Answer me." I say with a firm voice.
Evelyn opens her eyes to look at me and she nods slowly.
I inhale and I ease into her ever so slowly.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
This feels so good! So fucking good!
How can Evelyn not see that she is the only woman to make me feel this way?
No other woman has ever felt this good to be buried in. Only Evelyn.
Being inside of Evelyn...it feels right.
So right!
Evelyn winces, shutting her eyes.
"Is it sore?" I ask, worried.
Evelyn flutters her eyes open and she nods her head slowly, but then she cups my head in her hands. "But it's okay." she whispers, caressing my cheeks.
I lean down and I place my lips over hers and I start to slowly move, savoring each moment I have being inside of her.
I really want to go faster, but I promised Evelyn that I would make love to her...this has to be taken slowly.
Evelyn moans against my lips and she closes her eyes.
I break our kiss. "Please open your eyes. I want to see your beautiful eyes." I say, sounding a little breathless.
She complies.
As I continue to slowly move inside her, she looks directly at me and her mouth forms a perfect O.
"You...look..." I can't complete my sentence.
I need to catch my breath.
"Please go faster." Evelyn pleas, sounding almost breathless.
I chuckle – but it sounds like an exhale. "Oh no sweetheart. I promised you that I would make love to you, so this is going to be slow."
Even though I need to go faster!
Evelyn pouts her lips and starts to moan every time I move inside her.
I lean down to kiss her again, but Evelyn quickly turns me around so she is on top of me.
"I need you to go faster." she rolls her head back and starts to move faster.
Oh no!
I twirl her back around so she is lying on the bed again.
"Ransom!"
"Not yet." I whisper quickly.
"I...I don't want to release like this." Evelyn's chest is rising and falling faster.
Her breasts in full view! Fuck she is a sight to behold!
"Please..."
"We are not repeating what you did in that shower. I want you to have the full experience this time." I try to kiss her neck gently, but my teeth graze her neck accidentally.
"Sorry!"
"It's okay, but it's starting to hurt inside...my tummy hurts." Evelyn scrunches her face.
I cover my lips over hers.
I move inside her one more time until I feel it.
Finally!
I am close now.
I start to move faster and both Evelyn and I break our kiss simultaneously because we need to catch our breath.
Evelyn grabs a pillow and to cover her face.
No way!
I snatch the pillow away. "You are not covering yourself up! I want to see that beautiful face of yours when you release."
Evelyn groans and covers her face with her arms.
"Oh no my sweetheart." I grab her hands and I place them on either side of her.
Evelyn looks at me and then she moans so loud that I am glad we don't have anyone living near my house.
Evelyn's legs shake and she arches her back, closing her eyes.
I thrust into her one more time and I reach my climax...and I fill her inside.
It...it feels so good! So good to feel her! All of her!
I wait a few moments until I pull out of Evelyn.
"Ah!" Evelyn wrinkles her nose.
"I'm sorry." I wrap my arms around her body so my head can lie on her chest.
"That...that was..." Evelyn tries to speak, but she ends up trying to catch her breath.
"So fucking good?" I suggest, blowing on her nipple, making Evelyn jolt.
"Ransom! I can't go again!"
I blow on her nipple again to tease her.
"Stop it!"
I move my head up, propping onto my elbows. "What? No more?" I joke.
Evelyn half smiles, her eyes drooping. "I...I don't think I can. That...that took a lot of energy."
I lower my head and I nip at her nipple.
"Ah! Ransom! Stop it!" Evelyn huffs.
"Then don't drift off to sleep. We haven't even had dinner yet."
Evelyn chuckles quietly. "Well...aren't you full already?"
I cannot help but smile at her. "Not quite. I already had dessert. Now it's dinner that I need."
I rest my head back on her chest. "Please don't go to sleep."
"I'll try."
Just then, I feel Evelyn's hands in my hair.
Damn! That feels soothing!
Evelyn really has no idea what she does to me.
One minute she makes me feel angry toward her, then the next, she makes me feel relaxed.
What Evelyn does to me...
"That really feels nice." I turn my head so I can kiss her chest.
"You're hair is so fluffy!" I cannot see Evelyn, but I know that she is smiling.
We lay like this for about an hour or so until Evelyn tries to sit up.
"Where are you going?" I ask, sitting up.
"I need to make dinner." Evelyn seems to have found her voice again.
I pull my brows together. "You don't need to cook dinner. I can just order in." I suggest.
Evelyn frowns slightly. "By that you mean order dinner from a certain place so a certain someone can show up here? No thank you. Besides..." Evelyn stands up – and nearly falls on the floor. "I want to make a specific meal, so don't come downstairs yet." Evelyn walks – more like limps – to the cupboard to retrieve a gown.
"I will call you when dinner's ready." Evelyn smiles and walks downstairs.
A specific meal? What meal does she want to make?
You will have to wait and see.
I get off the bed and grab pants from the cupboard.
While I wait for Evelyn to make dinner, I decide to make a call – and one Evelyn doesn't need to hear.
***
"You made this?" I beam, looking at the food Evelyn made.
"It's...it's my –"
"You were supposed to wait until I called you." Evelyn places one more dish onto the table.
I close my gaping mouth to try and compose myself. "You were taking so long and my stomach..."
I look down and my stomach growls. "I am famished, as you can hear."
Evelyn sighs and then smiles faintly. "I'm sorry. The meat took longer than I expected."
Evelyn stops in her tracks and stands like a statue. "And could you please put a shirt on?"
I look down at my chest. I did forget to put a shirt on, but honestly, I don't need to. I look at Evelyn and smirk. "Nope. I prefer to stay topless for the rest of the night." I jeer.
Evelyn blinks and tries to compose herself.
I take Evelyn's greasy hand and I look at her. "Maybe you should wash your hands." I chuckle.
Evelyn's lips twitch and she goes to the sink.
I look at the food before me: Egg noodles with minced meat and a side of Parmesan smashed potatoes.
It's my favorite meal. It may seem basic, but I love minced meat in noodles. It tastes scrumptious – and only Evelyn knows how to make this dish properly.
"I forgot the sauce." Evelyn pours champagne sauce over the noodle dish.
"And for dessert –"
"I thought we already had dessert." I joke.
Evelyn giggles. "Then count this as second dessert."
Evelyn opens the fridge to show two crème brulee dishes.
I look back at the table and then back at her. "You know you didn't have to make all this. We could have just had something else, like one of those ready-made meals in the freezer. Why would you...oh!" I take a step back, finally realizing what is happening.
Evelyn made my favorite meal, plus my favorite dessert out of regret...this isn't because she wanted to make this out of the goodness of her heart.
This is her apology to me because she read my diary!
I place my hands at my sides. "You didn't make this food out of the goodness of your heart. You made this food because you read my diary and you feel guilty about it." I state.
Wait! Maybe I should read one – or three – of her diary entries?
Since she read three of mine. It's only fair!
Evelyn bows her head. "Yes I did."
Aha I knew it!
Evelyn lifts her head. "I know I cannot change the fact that I read your diary – which I am still sorry for – but I can promise that I won't read it again."
"Well you couldn't, even if you wanted to." I say in a harsh tone.
Watch your temper!
Evelyn takes a step backward. "S-So that is w-why I made your favorite meal for you, and your favorite dessert. I hope this can make up for it?"
I arch a brow at her.
"Well it's part of the apology." Evelyn slowly steps back toward the lounge.
"Hey..." I catch her before she turns around. "I may still be angry with you for what you did, but that doesn't mean I don't want you around me. I mean look at what intimacy we had for each other upstairs." I kiss her hand.
Evelyn opens her mouth slightly and wraps her arms around me. "I am sorry Ransom. Honestly I am." Evelyn lifts her head to look at me, her chin resting on my chest.
"Well you know one way to make it up to me?" I simper.
Evelyn places her one hand on my chest, but I grab her hand. "Not that. What I meant was since you read my diary, I can read your diary too."
"W-What?" Evelyn unwraps her arms and steps away from me.
"It's only fair."
"B-But w-which ones would you w-want to r-read?"
Shit! Evelyn is stuttering again!
She really needs to find the confidence to talk about these type of topics and not run away every time.
"Well since you read three of my entries, I can read three of yours, and one of them will be your diary entry after our break up."
Evelyn gulps and steps backward toward the door.
I take her hand in my own.
She mustn't run away from this!
"It's only fair Evelyn." I try to keep my voice as neutral as I can.
My heart is beating faster and I can feel my muscles tensing up. I need to watch my temper!
"Okay." Evelyn exhales. "W-Which other t-two d-do you w-want to r-read?"
I soften my face and pull her in my chest. "Let's worry about that tomorrow. Right now, I'd like us to enjoy our dinner which you made for me. Plus, the food's getting cold and I am very hungry."
I squeeze Evelyn gently and lead her to the table.
***
"My diary is back at my house." Evelyn says as she walks out of the bathroom.
That gown needs to come off her!
"Then we shall go to your house tomorrow." I declare, getting off the bed and cornering Evelyn so she can't escape.
"W-What are you d-doing?" Evelyn stammers, looking flushed.
"Do you really think I want to go to sleep right now when I know what is underneath that gown?" I look down and spot one of her breasts sticking out of her gown.
Evelyn bites her lip and then bows her head.
I cup her head in my hands and I lean in to kiss her ever so gently on her lips.
"Ransom..." Evelyn pushes away.
She bites her lips again.
"Don't tell me you are tired already?" I tease.
Evelyn looks at me through her eyelashes. "It's not that. I just...I just don't want you to...to..."
"Say it. Don't be afraid to talk dirty." I caress my thumb on her cheek.
Evelyn inhales. "I don't want you to make love to me this time..."
I place my forehead on hers. "I wasn't planning onto."
Evelyn exhales and then pulls my lips to hers.
Our kiss instantly intensifies and I pick her up to take her to the bed.
I then proceed to remove her gown.
***
EVELYN:
I awaken with the sun shining brightly right on my face.
It's stinging my eyes!
I turn my body so I am lying on my back.
I really should look for darker color curtains because these curtains are too light when the sun is shining outside.
Just then, I feel an arm tightening around me.
I turn my head to see Ransom's face is inches away from mine.
I smile and kiss his nose. I turn to look at the ceiling, and I think about what happened yesterday...
Firstly, Ransom was livid at me because I read his diary. I knew he would be livid if he caught me reading his diary – and yesterday proved my theory.
He claims he isn't livid, but I know he is. That look in his eyes...it was scary...
Secondly...Ransom made love to me!
He barely made love to me in the past. I remember a few months into our relationship; Ransom told me that he dislikes making love because he prefers not to be too gentle.
And don't I know it!
But when he does make love with me...he is gentle...so gentle!
However, I cannot say what we did before we drifted off to sleep was love making...but it still felt so damn good!
It's because it is Ransom.
He is the only one who I can truly be intimate with.
And yesterday...he definitely was gentle with me.
He didn't bite me. He did graze me, but he apologized. He wasn't rough with me, and most of all...he was careful not to hurt me.
That's my Ransom! I saw him yesterday – even though he was livid with me, I saw him.
The words he spoke to me yesterday...when he told me how much I mean to him...he told me I was the only woman for him...it really made me cry!
That was when I knew he was back! My Ransom came back!
But for how long will he be back?
I know Ransom can be an utter asshole, but when he and I are alone...he can turn out to be the kindest man around – although I cannot tell him that 'cause he'll counter that and say he is a broken man.
But then I would say he is my broken, and beautiful man!
Ransom also stated that he wants to read my diary. Three of them.
"It's only fair." Ransom said.
Ransom is right. It is only fair that he read my diary too, but he wants to read the one after I broke up with him.
Even though Ransom's diary entry after our break up was detailed, my one...it is explicit!
There are tear stains on those pages, not to mention it has bad words in that entry.
Words I don't usually like to say out loud.
But I was heartbroken and I was angry at Ransom because I caught him with another woman!
But what will Ransom think of me after he reads this diary entry?
Will he still want to be with me?
Trying to reassure myself that this diary entry won't change Ransom's mind about me is not helping.
Although I hope he doesn't change his way of thinking of me.
This diary entry was written months ago.
Just then, I feel Ransom's arm move and he pulls me underneath him.
"Good morning." his voice sounds raspy – almost like sandpaper – but it's sexy!
"Good morning." I smile, looking into Ransom's beautiful blue eyes.
He leans down to kiss me.
His breath should not smell this good. Morning breath does usually not smell nice.
But this man...dammit! Can he be any sexier?
"Are you ready for today?" Ransom asks.
"Are you?" I ask, my voice shaking slightly.
And just like that, I feel nervous and anxious instead of feeling confident like I was seconds ago.
"I n-need to f-feed Sheila." I clamber off the bed and stumble to the door.
Shit! I'm stuttering again!
Ransom will know I am anxious!
I quickly walk out the bedroom and attend to my dog, who is already waiting for her food.
***
"Are you sure?" I ask a little nervously once Ransom and I arrive back at his place after we went to my place to retrieve my diary.
I couldn't even say hello to Lydia – who I really wanted to speak to!
Our last conversation ended badly. Maybe I should call her? Will she answer her phone?
"It's only fair." Ransom says tonelessly, snapping me back to reality.
"Ransom..." I place my hand over his. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."
Ransom sighs. "I do." Ransom's voice is a little sharp.
I caress his hand. "Remember that I wrote this just after we broke up. It was written months ago –like your diary entry was."
Ransom pulls his brows together.
"Please...Please don't think of me differently." I admit, my voice shaking.
Ransom softens his face and he kisses my hand. "It'll be okay."
I gulp and stand up. I really don't want to look at Ransom's facial expression when he reads my diary.
"I'll be upstairs." Rocking back and forth on the bed, trying not to think about how you will react after you read this diary entry.
Maybe it is a good time to try and call Lydia while I wait...or my mother...
RANSOM:
I twitch my lips upward, trying to smile at Evelyn, but she has already left the lounge.
I look back at the diary entry. This is going to be a long entry to read...and there is tear stains on every page of this diary entry.
I better make coffee before I start reading.
As I walk to the kitchen, I think about what Evelyn said to me minutes ago...that I need to remember she did write this diary entry months ago, before we got back together.
I need to remember that while I am reading this entry!
She means way too much to me and I cannot lose her!
Not again!
Which is why I would need to control my temper after I have read this diary entry.
That is if I do feel angry because I might feel remorse instead...
Once I have made myself coffee, I sit back on the couch and I start to read.