No, I couldn't think of a more original title. Deal with it Peasants. It was either this or 'Back To The Noobs'. I'm just joking! ' Back To The Noobs' will be part two. NOW I COMMAND THEE TO LAUGH *ha. ha. ha* please.
This is going to be a short story based off a nightmare I had at 7 am. Why perceive nightmares as a nightmare when you can convert it into a stupid thriller meant for comical purposes?
Genius, right? *silence* DAMMIT YOU DAMN CRICKETS, WHERE THE ARE YOU WHEN WE ACTUALLY NEED YOU??
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ೃ⁀➷ The Cast
: ̗̀➛ Me (Clara/ Barney) as thyself
: ̗̀➛ Richie as thyself
: ̗̀➛ Pennyphin as thyself aka the "IT" of noobville
: ̗̀➛ Derren as thyself
: ̗̀➛ Noobs as thyselves
: ̗̀➛ Humans as thyselves
: ̗̀➛ Dolphins as thy bloody selves
: ̗̀➛ Potatoes as thy vegetable self
: ̗̀➛ You as thouselve
( I thought it'd be fun to use 'thyself' instead of her or himself and I added Derren because.... I don't know actually )
Now, on with the short story....
Clara ambitiously walked through the halls clattered with tons of moody teenagers, raving about normal teenage stuff and whatnot. Clara was anything but normal. Unless being nocturnal, overdosing on caffeinated coffee and engaging in a cult by the name of 'Humorous Nonsense' seems normal to you. If it does, go get your senses checked out. You may be suffering from the symptoms of insanity.
The month was August. The year was 2021. The obstacle? The first day of the 10th grade. hOw sCaRy, bOoOo hOoOo
Beep beep Richie
That's your damn cue Richie...
Richie lifted a brow, unsure on whether to halt Clara's illegal chugging down of caffeinated coffee or simply shrug it off like usual.
Everything was right. It was the day they have been waiting for all their life. It was all perfectly fine, or so it seemed....
Richie's schedule slipped from her hands, gracefully pouncing onto the graveling ground. She crouched down to pluck it back up again, but instead peculiarly found an uncanny gadget in it's place.
Unsure of what to think or do, Richie's fingers buffered around the odd object, presumably pressing numerous buttons simultaneously.
It took a vast amount of time for Clara to realize her time machine ( transporter? ) had slipped out of her backpack and into Richie's hands.
You thought April was the only one with a time machine? Well, surprise! *sarcastically throws hands into the air* She's not.
How did Clara sustain an exact replica of April's time machine? Simple. She stole it from her neighbor as an act of strategized and bitter revenge. He should've never left it unattended without proper security in the first place.
( Fun Fact: excluding the part of me stealing the time machine and plotting revenge, this neighbor actually claimed to own a time machine! I'm not kidding, he literally exists. Ofcourse there's obviously no real time machine *sigh* The stray cats informed me years ago... )
Now back to the actual short story...
Her eyes darted in an estranged manner, yearning to thrust for the time machine before a dumbfounded Richie blew up the high school in a spit second.
She urgently hollered from the roof of her lungs ❝ Richie, don't push that!- ❞
Despite Clara's fearless attempt to clutch the gadget - something any heroic human would do - as anticipated, she miserably failed.
She was too late. It was all too late. Richie had already pulled the trigger. Every human being on earth had instantly diminished into ashes. Swoosh. Just like that.
Or at least that's what Clara thought. After a mere death experience, their brittle limbs safely stood on holy ground- or rather a neighborhood full of noobs.
❝ Where in fud's sake are we? ❞ Richie cussed.
Noobs concealed the sidewalk. Some peddled while others were violently attacked by snowballs as they faintly rode a sleigh.
( Reference to HN VII Mush I say hehe. I recommend reading the past seven volumes honestly )
An older woman with tints of gray strands approached Clara and Richie with tears at the brim of her hazel eyes. ❝ You two have finally made it! ❞
The two teenagers were perplexed. How can one be in the hallway of high school at one moment and the next in a of bratty scoundrels?
❝ Made it for what? ❞ Clara firmly inquired, disregarding the scamps surrounding the playground.
❝ The substitutes for Miss April's class ofcourse! ❞
Clara and Richie exchanged befuddling glances to one another. Substitutes, for noobs? They would never sign up or volunteer for such a crude job!
❝ You two are the substitutes, right? ❞
Clara nodded ❝ Ofcourse we are! Who else would we be? Two 10th graders who accidentally got transported to noobville? ❞
The old woman chuckled at Clara's wild imagination, while Richie glared instead.
❝ We are not- ❞
Clara nudged Richie's arm, signaling a secret code of 'yes, we are'. Richie mumbled and cussed underneath her mist breath, but never less cooperated with Clara's crazy idea.
They were both given tasks to fill in Miss April's place, who was chaperoning a class of 15 for the remainder of the week.
Clara was escorted to room 8 and assigned to teach the rascal students on Valentine's Day.
'Valentine's Day? Wasn't that 6 months ago? ' Clara thought to herself 'Why would anyone want to learn about the worst day of the year in the first place?'
The dull book bored Clara. She instead compromised and lectured the noobs herself instead.
Throughout the lecture threats were told, chairs were strangled, yells were yelped, cussing was cursed, bones were broken etc. Overall, it wasn't too bad. 'Isn't this easy?'
It all seemed simple until a noob by the name of Tiffany fell asleep during the lecture. This ofcourse didn't please Clara and instead caused her to throw buckets of cold water onto the noob.
Tiffany was that species of noob who loved to test the teacher's patience, refusing to contend.
A reluctant Clara had no choice but to unleash the Barnabus in her and hot water greeted Tiffany's presence.
Before Tiffany could even react to the water's burning, ethereal climate, a dolphin rose from the bucket. This wasn't just any dolphin.... it was Pennyphin *suspense music* *the part where everyone sarcastically gasps and wonders who Pennyphin is*
Well folks, you'll never know *evil laugh* YOU'LL NEVER KNOW!!....
Until the next chapter....
Which I will never publish....
*hears clinks*
Second thought, 'Back To The Noobs' will be published sometime this week if I survive the blades and pitchforks.
Here's a stupid edit I made in the span of 30 seconds, blank space being the inspiration for the title and all:
The drought was the very worst indeed....