As impossible as it might have seemed, I actually forgot about the entire operation Michael and I partook in a few days ago. I guess it was because of how with emotion and a sense of worry I was when I questioned Lisa's safety. Nothing else mattered to me then, just like nothing else mattered to me other than she was okay once I found her safe and sound within the walls of her loft.
However, the thought of just how easily I could've lost her that night completely clouded my mind, removing everything else from it. Lisa was the only thing I could think of and focus on. Every other problem I might have had, forgotten.
We were good after we talked, there was no tension between us and since we've taken a bath together that night, we hadn't mentioned it again; both of us probably too scarred by the events to bring them up. After all, it didn't matter anymore. We were both safe in each other's arms, and that was all either of us could care about.
Maybe if for a moment Id stop and think about what actually happened though, I would realize just how strange and unnerving it was that though I left Chanyeol's office trashed, he never reached out. No more Peter. No more harassment. There was no doubt he'd know it was me, yet he did nothing about it. Anything at all.
But there was no space at all for thoughts regarding the older man. I was in my own bubble once again, where no one other than Lisa had access. It was just the two of us, unaffected by the events parting in the world. Time passed differently for us as we bathed in each other's presence. And though she didn't say it out loud, I knew she felt exactly the same; the thought of losing me tortured her to no end.
That's why, for the past few days, neither of us left the loft. Lisa didn't go job hunting for a while, and thankfully she wasn't called in for any interviews either. The fridge and pantry were both stocked, so we didn't have to worry about starving to death. And though our supplies were slowly diminishing, we didn't worry about it too much. We could always get food delivered after all.
One might think we'd get sick of it, quite on the contrary, though. Neither of us suffered from cabin fever, nor did we get tired or irritated by each other. We were anything but. We spent our days mostly in bed or on the couch, cuddling and bathing in our shared body heat. Leo nestled between our bodies, lounging around with us. It's like the small creature could sense our sadness that night as well as the fear and was now grateful all was well again.
Though we were cooped up inside though, it didn't mean we were disgusting, laying in our own trash or something. The only time either of us, well, Lisa, would leave the apartment was to take out the trash and that was about it. We kept the loft clean, took care of Leo, and ourselves as well. Just because we refused to let go of one another didn't mean we let go of hygiene.
Lisa even continued working out at home now that she wasn't going to the gym (since it would be difficult to lift weights with me practically glued to her). Initially, I didn't complain one bit. Watching her muscles flex and tense under the pressure was definitely a while worthy sight. It left me drooling and breathless, and more often than not, Lisa ended up doing a different type of body extortion before she got to the end of her routine. And though she complained about my distracting tactics, I knew she enjoyed what my "workout routine" encompassed.
However, as time went on, Lisa asked me to work out with her. Not the type of workout I grew accustomed to, sadly, but an actual workout. And suddenly, there was something to complain about. Of course, at first, I declined her offer, explaining that watching her sweat was much more enjoyable than sweating myself. However, her argument that I sweat either way was too justified for me to try to make a comeback. And so I found myself next to her, on my own mat, often scolded by Lisa for foregoing the exercises by looking at her instead. Could I really be to blame when she, as if on purpose, wore just a sports bra and leggings that hugged her ridiculously hot body perfectly?
Either way, though I wouldn't admit it, I enjoyed our new routine.
Every morning I would wake up beside the beautiful younger woman, cooking up a small breakfast together, working out, and spending the rest of our days comfortably on the couch. This way it felt like I actually did something other than laze around, and it made me feel quite good about myself.
Today was a day like no other. Both of us were clad in our workout outfits as we performed, what to me felt like at least a tenth, set of crunches. My chest was heaving, my abs were burning, and I could barely lift my body off the mat anymore. I was just counting every second until the three rings announcing the last three seconds would ring in the video, so I could slump back on the ground and stop this madness.
And though I thought the forty-five seconds passed rather quickly, a huge grin broke out on my face when I heard the alarm that signaled the end of today's workout. Just as I was about to get up though, Lisa's laugh from beside me caught my attention, "It's my phone, Rosie,"
With a groan and no regard for the workout video still playing, I slouched on the ground, unable to move a muscle. Lisa stood up and reached for her ringing phone, still chuckling in amusement as her eyes refused to leave my exhausted self. Just as I opened my eyes to glare at her, though, something else caught my attention.
Her abs, now that she worked out protruding more, covered in a sheen layer of sweat, were glistening in the sunlight and if I said the sight didn't do things to me, I would've bluntly lied. Because oh God, did I feel a jolt in my body, settling in between my things at the sight alone.
As if sensing my blatant staring, Lisa connected our eyes with an amused twinkle in hers as she quirked her brow and flexed her abdominal muscles just to tease me. And though I knew she'd get a kick out of it, the groan that made its way past my lips was involuntary.
"Hello?" Lisa answered the phone, her eyes still on mine as she winked, very well aware of what she was doing to me.
To hell with the video, I thought to myself as I stood up on shaky legs and walked towards her with what was almost a primal instinct. Considering how much trouble I had the first time we were together, one would think I wouldn't be this addicted to her body. Yet here I was, mind clouded with lust as I approached the woman on the phone.
I couldn't be to blame, though. Her body against me felt like heaven, her arms around me made me feel loved and secure, and her kisses and touches... God, her kisses and touches were something else. Really, doing anything other than being with each other was a waste of time if you asked me.
With no regard for her phone call, my hands gripped her sides as I stopped in front of her, my lips ghosting her neck. I wasn't paying attention to what she was saying over the phone, yet I took notice of her voice wavering as I placed a wet kiss on the side of her throat, causing me to smirk against her skin. If she was going to be a tease, I was going to act on it. It was all her fault.
Lisa's hands pushed against my shoulders gently, but I prevailed, dispensing kisses all over her skin while my fingers traced the contours of her abdominal muscles. She sounded more choked up with every passing second, and though I knew I was distracting her from what could've been an important phone call, I couldn't bring myself to care.
My lips moved up to her jaw, nibbling on her skin as I pulled her body flush against mine, reveling in the feeling of our bodies pressed together. Tongue prodding out from between my lips, I licked a long stripe across the column of her neck, tasting the salty taste of her sweat. For whatever reason, that turned me even more, and I sucked on the skin harshly, without a doubt leaving a bright red mark behind.
Lisa gripped my waist at the ministration and cleared her throat loudly to regain her composure before she spoke into the phone again, ignoring my presence. I had none of that though, as my hands moved higher, cupping her breasts through her sports bra, while simultaneously biting down on her earlobe, eliciting a shiver and a moan. An actual moan. I made Lisa moan into the phone. I almost laughed at that, but I stifled the sound as I buried my face in the crook of her neck, arms clasped behind her back, as I hugged her tightly.
Quickly doing damage control, Lisa cleared her throat awkwardly once again, nudging me in my rips with her free hand as a form of payback, making me shake against her in stifled laughter even further. She tried prying me away from her body, but I clung to her, smiling against her skin as she was finishing up the call.
It was funny to me how quickly the atmosphere could change, and I was happy about it. It made me feel so comfortable and content, knowing how freeing being with her was. One second I had my mind filled with images of Lisa beneath me on the mat (because who had the patience to make it to the bed) and the second I was laughing against her skin, wishing we could always be like this.
"You're such a tease!" Lisa whined as she ended the call. Despite the tone of her voice, however, her arms encircled my waist, hugging me close to her.
"You're one to talk. What was that little show all about, huh?"
"What am I supposed to do when you look at me like I'm a whole course meal, then?" she countered.
"That's because you are," I grinned, pulling away from her neck to kiss her lips hungrily.
Without missing a beat, Lisa kissed me back, her hand moving up and cupping the side of my neck as she kissed me passionately. My lust returned as my hands moved back to their initial position against her hardened stomach, tracing her abs with my fingertips and scraping them with my nails.
Lisa shuddered against me, a small whimper leaving her full lips. Using that to my advantage, I slipped my tongue inside her mouth, exploring it hungrily as I deepened the kiss, my head tilting to the side to gain more access.
And though Lisa mirrored the action, she seemed a little hesitant. To remove any trace of that, one of my hands moved up her chest, skimming over her bra-clad breast, before squeezing the mound through the material. A moan just like the previous one tore through her throat and I bit on her lower lip harshly, my other hand already tugging at the waistband of her leggings.
Before I could go any further, though, Lisa's hand on top of mine stopped me, the other pushing me away from her. Eyes fluttering open, I met hers, pupils blown, almost covering her whole iris. She was panting, her chest heaving rapidly with every staggered breath she took, lips kiss swollen, body flushed. Why she stopped me was a mystery because, clearly, she wanted this as much as I did.
"Wait," she spoke breathlessly, "We can't,"
"Why not?" I asked, quite frankly, disappointed.
"I got a call," she gulped, trying to regulate her breathing, "They called me back from the studio,"
"What?!" I exclaimed excitedly, "They did?! I mean, I knew they would. They would be stupid not to. What did they say? You got it right?"
The younger woman smiled at my excitement, leaned down, and pecked my lips happily. I didn't even try to deepen it this time, just wanting to know what she was told over the phone, "They asked me to come in and teach a class with them today, just to see me in action. If everything goes well, they'll offer me a position," she grinned.
"That's amazing! I'm so proud of you. I knew you could do it," I boasted.
"I didn't do anything yet," she chuckled, "We'll see how it goes today and well go from there,"
"Lili," I addressed sternly, "You're the best dancer I know. You're crazy talented, literally, no one can compare. There is absolutely zero doubt in my mind. You're getting the position, there's no question about it,"
"I think you have far more faith in me than you should. I'm not that talented or great as you make me out to be,"
"You literally had millions of followers back when you were still doing YouTube videos," I pointed out.
"Yeah, but I wasn't alone in those and-"
"Lisa, you are the kind of dancer who isn't made, but the kind who's naturally blessed. Not only do you have ridiculous talent, but you also work incredibly hard and you're super precise. There is no one better than you,"
"You're biased," Lisa disagreed but adorned a smile on her lips.
"Maybe," I grinned, pecking her lips briefly, "But I mean it. You said this was the best dance studio in New York, didn't you?"
"Yeah but-"
"No buts Lili, you were born for this. They wouldn't even give you the time of the day if they didn't want you and here they are, possibly offering you a permanent position,"
"Yeah, but these people make choreographers for literal celebrities and-"
"Would you stop doubting yourself?" I reprimanded, "You got this okay? Now, when do you have to go?"
"They asked me to be there in two hours," she informed.
"That's plenty of time," I smiled mischievously as I leaned in closer, my lips hovering hers as I spoke, "What do you say, want to do my workout routine next?" I asked suggestively, my fingers toying with the waistband of her leggings.
"When did you turn into a sex addict?" she questioned, but already sounded choked up.
"I'm not a sex addict," I disagreed, "You're just sexy and I love being close to you. I love feeling you against me. It makes me feel at peace and loved,"
"I'm pretty sure our neighbors would heavily disagree. You sound anything but at peace,"
"Shut up," I slapped her arm, blush already creeping up my face. I knew I was vocal, but come on, no need to rub it in.
"Personally," she leaned in, roles suddenly reversed as her breath hit my ear, "I find it sexy,"
A whimper. An actual whimper made its way past my lips at her words as I slowly began turning into putty in her muscular arms encircling my waist. And before I knew it, I was spread out on the workout mat, Lisa hovering over me, her strong hands gripping my thighs.
...
"You got everything?" I asked from my position on the bed while Lisa paced around hurriedly. We might have lost track of time a little and Lisa might or might not be cutting it close if she wanted to make it on time. But who were we to blame? It was impossible not to get lost in each other, both figuratively and literally speaking.
"I think so?" Lisa stated unsurely and started digging through her duffle bag again.
"Change of clothes?" I tried to help.
"Check,"
"Water bottle?"
"Got it,"
"Shampoo?"
"Yup,"
"Towel?"
She rummaged through the bag for a while, searching for the item but came out short-handed, "That's it!" she exclaimed and ran into the bathroom like a madwoman, "Okay, I'm all set," she said as she walked out from the bathroom, stuffing the rolled-up towel inside her bag and closing it shut.
"You'll be okay alone for a bit?" she asked as she approached me.
"I'll be okay, just don't take too long," I smiled at the raven who stopped at the side of the bed.
"Leo will take care of you if you need anything," Lisa declared, "Like cuddles... or.... cuddles,"
"Unless he doesn't feel like it," I pointed out, chuckling.
"He wouldn't dare," she seethed and threw a glare over her shoulder at the cat lying leisurely at the top of the cat tree.
"You'll probably be hungry when you come back, right? I'll make you something delicious while you're gone. Just text me when you'll be leaving the studio, okay?"
"You don't have to do that," she shook her head, a loving smile plastered across her lips, "Seriously, having you here is more than enough. We can order something when I get back. I wouldn't want you to go out of your way for me,"
"Nonsense," I disagreed, "I'd love to do something nice for you. I'll make salmon steak your favorite. How about that?"
"How can I say no to that?" she leaned down, lips touching my forehead as she lingered, "God, I love you so much," she murmured against my skin.
I couldn't suppress the beaming smile taking place on my face upon hearing those words. Breath hitched in my throat as though I was hearing the declaration for the first time. It wasn't - no; it was probably closer to the millionth time Id heard it - but still; the novelty was still there. It always would be.
"I love you too," I reciprocated and pulled her in by the collar of her shirt to press our lips together one last time before she had to leave.
Unashamed, I slipped my tongue inside her mouth without as much as asking for permission, arms winding behind her neck as I pulled her in, not minding the sheet slipping from my bare body. Lisa, who has lost her footing, nearly fell onto me but managed to stop the fall by placing her hand on the side of my head. And just the knowledge I made her weak in the knees by so much as a kiss made me smirk against her lips.
My fingers slid through Lisa's dark hair as I tugged on the baby hairs on the base of her neck, fully enjoying the quiet whimper against my lips. Though I wished for nothing more than to pull her back into bed and continue this, I knew I couldn't. She was probably already running late, and I didn't want to stall her for any longer than I already have.
Reluctantly, I let her go, fingers untangling from her hair and fixing the collar of her shirt that I had previously crumbled in my fists. When I noticed Lisas, despite her eyes remaining close, dazed expression, I smiled and pecked her nose quickly, her eyes only snapping open then. Her pupils were dilated, her eyes hooded and darkened, and she was breathing heavily. And it took everything in me not to kiss her again.
I was about to say something along the lines that she should probably hurry, but just as I opened my mouth, Lisa's face went bright red and she snapped her head to the side, avoiding looking at me. I was confused for a little while at what elicited the response, but when I looked down at my body, I understood perfectly.
Well, not perfectly. When I kissed her, both my hands busy holding the raven close, the sheet I had wrapped around my body has fallen to my lap, exposing my bare chest. It wasn't like she was seeing it for the first, or second for that matter, time, however. So seeing her all shy and embarrassed was more than just a little sweet. Nevertheless, I grasped the crumpled edges of the white sheet, pulling them up to my neck, just so Lisa would look at me again.
"It's not like you haven't seen me before," I chuckled, getting her attention.
"Y-yeah but—" she actually stuttered. I wasn't sure whether to coo or laugh at how adorable she was being right now, "T-that's different,"
"I don't really think it is," I disagreed with a chuckle.
"How am I supposed to go anywhere when you're here like..."
"Naked?" I offered.
"Yes!" she groaned.
"Get your head out of the gutter," I laughed loudly, head tilting to the side as I observed the blushing woman.
"You're one to talk, seductress. I was on the phone and yet you-"
"Okay, but that was entirely your fault,"
"Sure it was," she scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief.
"You should probably go," I reminded her, voice now crestfallen at the prospect of being without her for even just a few hours.
"I probably should," she agreed, but made no move to head for the door, instead stood in place, looking at me intently.
"What?" I chuckled nervously, getting insecure under her scrutinizing gaze.
Lisa shook her head with a fond smile, "You're just beautiful, is all,"
It was my turn to get shy now as I turned my head away from her, feeling heat crawling up to my cheeks, not wanting her to notice that simply her words alone had this effect on me. Regardless of whether she noticed or not, she grasped my chin gracefully between her thumb and index finger as she turned my head back to her.
With a gentle peck against my lips that left me grinning like a fool, she pulled away and told me, "I better get going,"
"Yeah," I agreedm, and though I was previously downhearted about her departure, the goofy smile after the gentle peck she gave could be replaced by any other expression, "Text me when you get there so I know you're okay,"
"Will do," she saluted and with one reassuring squeeze of my hand she walked towards the door, "Bye baby!" she called, "I'll see you soon!"
"Love you!" I called after her, wanting those two words to be the last she would hear from me before she got back. Because though I hated thinking about it, one could never be sure of the future and if anything at all were to go wrong, I'd want those two words to be the last Id directed at her. And I would want hers to be the same.
"Love you too!" I smiled as she closed the door with a thud.
My head fell back against the fluffy pillows as I smiled at the ceiling with the memory of her kiss replaying in my mind over and over again, and the taste of her lips lingering on mine. Lisa made me insanely happy, that was for certain. It was somewhat scary how much power she held over me and have I not trusted her fully, and known I had the exact same power over her, it would've terrified me.
But I could be anything but terrified so long as I had her. She made me feel safe in her arms, with every beat of her heart against her chest as I listened for it intently while we slept. Lisa made me feel secure and taken care of with her kisses and gentle touches that got rough exactly when needed. And even then, they felt so safe still. No matter what we did or where we were, as long as I was with her, I knew I didn't have to fear anything. Not anymore.
It was crazy to me, the development I underwent. Actually, both of us did.
If you told me two years ago, I would be back here, kissing her lips like for the first time, hearing her voice first thing in the morning, reminding me she loved me, I would've called you insane. It was just so implausible, completely unthinkable, and ultimately impossible. Not once would I think there was any chance of all of us being together like this again, yet we were.
From the first time, we met at the beginning of the year when I froze at the stage as Chanyeol standing beside me just announced my pregnancy for the whole world to hear. To all those times I would approach her in the office building just to have her reject me every single time, shattering my heart with every glare and mean word.
There was undeniable tension between us since I first saw her, but never would I think it would lead to this. From the first kiss, and ultimately so much more, that we shared that day. To her coming back to me three days later only so she could push me away again the very next day. Days spent in misery and complete agony before she sought me out again, this time her intention clear as day.
Though I thought that was it then, that finally, things were getting better for us, I had another thing coming when I learned of her deceit. Yet, when I realized why she's done it and thought it was far too late for mending things and talking about it, she appeared as if out of thin air right when I needed her most. Without asking her to. She just came because I needed her. And after the much-needed talk about all she's kept from me that we had a few months later, things have been going well, that is if we didn't count Sooyoung. But the woman wasn't as big of a setback as one would've thought.
After all that, all the troubles and hardships we went through, I found it hard to believe we were finally here. That perhaps, I could get my happy ending with the one I wanted most, after all.
She was here every step of the way. Whether I needed a shoulder to cry on, whether I needed someone to lean on, or someone to ground me, she was always there. I couldn't say she healed all my trauma because no one would ever be able to do that, not fully, at least. I was aware I needed help, and I was determined to get it once this nightmare was finally over. However, she helped to calm it immensely.
Whether it was the immense trust issues (that partly she caused, especially when she kept the truth from me), negative self-image, suicidal thoughts, the overpowering fear of having someone close. And the most recent one that still shook me to the core, no matter how much I tried to be okay - Annabeth. But Lisa helped. She did everything she could to make all the pain go away. And though she was no professional, she was extremely helpful to me.
I learned to trust her, and though it was perhaps stupid, I let myself trust her even after she betrayed me then. It didn't come easy, and I still doubted her the first few months, but after the endless conversations we had, I couldn't help but open up to the woman again. She had my full trust again, and this time I was positive she would break it.
Her loving gaze and touch made all the insecurities almost melt away. Every kiss, every time she would embrace my scars and worship my body like I was the most breathtaking thing she's ever seen, it made the self-hatred a little easier to handle. She made me see that perhaps there was something there worthy of love, even if I couldn't quite see it yet.
With Lisa around, I no longer struggled to eat or thought about just ending it all. Sure, neither of the two came easy and took a lot of effort, but I was finally in a good place. Lisa noticed I was struggling to eat and so she did everything in her power to make it a little easier for me. And for her and my daughter, I was motivated to try. And so now, even if I still struggled sometimes, I found it easier to fill my stomach even on days I felt weaker.
Ever since Lisa happened, I no longer had the desire to kill myself. Admittedly, the strong urge was there, after I lost my daughter, but I preserved. With Lisa's help and the image of my daughter in my mind at all times, I continued fighting even though I was on the verge of giving up. Because though I have lost her, I wanted to make her proud. And with Lisa, I finally had something worth fighting for. Looking back at it now, I couldn't believe myself and the strength I had to endure all of that and still go on.
I wouldn't say Lisa cured my depression because the self depicting, saddened state was anything but gone, but she made it better. Some days were bearable, some were amazing, and still, some I had trouble getting out of bed. But with her support, I never found it as hard anymore. Lisa was a good influence. She helped me in so many ways I knew I could never thank her enough.
Though I would still flinch if anyone raised their voice at me, I no longer flinched if someone got too close. But perhaps that was just Lisa and other people that I allowed myself to trust. Have it been a stranger, I would probably still be scared, especially if it was a man in my personal space. I always feared that they would hit me if they'd be unhappy with me. I felt unsafe in the presence of another, but Lisa helped with that as well.
Now, I craved her presence more than anything. I wanted to be close to her at all times, wanted to feel her, and to be able to touch her and be touched by her. When I thought about it, perhaps it really was just Lisa. I mean, there was no one Id allow to touch me the way she did, but now I would allow people near me. And though it was just Lisa, the Kims, and Michael, I still considered it great progress compared to the terrified woman I once was.
I wanted to be able to give back to her for all that she's done for me. She didn't have to do any of it, yet she did. She did it out of her own free will, her own devotion, and perhaps even then, out of love. Lisa was a blessing in my life, a guarding angel if you will. So I found it funny whenever she would call me that - an angel. Because I was anything but.
She was my angel, but I felt like ever since I appeared, I corrupted her life. Things were better now. We were figuring things out, but at the start, heck, even a month ago, things were so drastically different.
At that thought, I stopped.
I liked to pretend everything was fine, that my life was easy and I was a free woman, but I was still in Chanyeol's clutches. Even though I have run away, it was just a matter of time before he would come hunting me down. I wasn't untouchable. Sooner or later, things would return to the way they used to be. I couldn't be wearing pink glasses on any longer. I had to take action now before it was too late.
With that thought in mind, I looked to the side where, in the corner of the room, just next to the pipe where Lisa's clothes were hanging from, was the backpack from a few nights ago. I still hadn't looked. It sat there idly for all this time and I haven't taken a peek. I wasn't even tempted to take one. Why should I when I had all I needed right here with me?
But now that Lisa was gone, it couldn't be helped when my gaze was brought to the untouched rucksack. Whatever secrets it contained, if any (considering I bolted out of there and grabbed everything I saw without any examination, possessed be fear for Lisa), they could be helpful. Yet, I went days without looking, without even feeling the urge to look.
Lisa never brought it up either. The memories of that night were equally painful for her as they were for me. Or maybe she didn't even notice it, and if she did, she thought nothing of it. She was far too disturbed when she saw me examine whether I even had a backpack, to begin with.
Either way, she hadn't brought up anything regarding that night. She never asked what I saw, what I found, or how it went. We just disregarded it and treated it like it never happened. I never mentioned it, not wanting to upset her or myself, and also worrying it might start an unnecessary fight between us. It seemed Chanyeol had his ways to divide us even without having to be physically present or directly throw barrels under our feet. Or perhaps it was our own fear of losing one another and stubbornness that led to those few pointless arguments that we've had.
They didn't matter though, seeing as we had an unspoken rule of never going to bed angry. No matter the argument, we always made up by the end of the day, falling asleep in each other's arms with content smiles on our faces. But still, why cause an argument in the first place if it could be avoided by simply not mentioning the event.
I could look through my findings alone. I didn't need Lisa with me in order to do that. This way, all would be well, and Lisa wouldn't have to worry or get upset. So now that she was out of sight, I couldn't help but wonder if I brought anything worthy out of the study. Though deep down I knew it was probably just trash because if any of the things I brought were of any importance, he would've marched in here a long time ago. But he didn't. And that led me to believe nothing inside would be worth my time.
With a sigh, I slid out of bed, shivering as the cold air hit my bare skin, and slipped on a pair of Lisa's underwear and one of her shirts. Instantly, I felt better - being in her clothes always felt as if Lisa was here, engulfing me in a bear hug - and so even if I didn't expect much, I smiled and walked to the corner, picking up the bag.
Leo also seemed to be curious because he joined me as I passed the hallway, making my way to the living room. Once I sat down on the couch, Leo jumped up, nestling himself next to me, resting his furry body against my thigh, and purring softly, clearly very much content.
"Maybe I won't have to tell on you to Lisa after all," I smiled as I scratched the cat behind its left ear, earning a prolonged meow and a sleepy yawn, making my heart swell. He was just too adorable.
Unzipping the bag and not having the patience to rummage through it, I turned it upside down, dumping the contents of the bag onto the coffee table. Haphazardly, I threw the empty bag to the side next to me and leaned closer to the table, picking up every crumbled piece of paper my eyes fell on.
Just as expected, there was nothing interesting.
I found a few documents regarding YG and PCY, but those were of no use to me. Maybe they could be, though, if there was something shady going on. However, I was no lawyer, so I didn't entirely understand the words written across the pages, neither did I want to waste my time by going through them all. So I set them to the side, making a mental note to ask Jennie if she knew someone who could take a look at them.
Aside from some company documents, I also recognized the manila folder containing the police report from that night. I refused to look at it, though. I knew what it encompassed, the report, the gruesome images, the details. I needed to see none of it. Not again. A tear ran down my cheek as I threw the folder to the side, quickly wiping the tear away with the back of my palm as if embarrassed someone could see it.
I also found my parent's will among the papers, but I refused to read it again. I read it enough times to have it memorized. And though that I got over a few things in my head, I hated the words written across the page. Though it was my own choice, the request still felt conditional. It was almost as if in the will they tried to guilt-trip me into marrying the man. They made me feel guilty and thinking back on the words they used; it felt unjustified as if they tried to induce the reaction so I'd marry the man they went through so much struggle to pick for me.
It made me sick. How could they want that for me when they claimed they loved and cared about me? Perhaps that wasn't their intention at all, and I just interpreted it wrong. Perhaps they weren't trying to make me feel bad at all, but it sure as hell felt that way. I couldn't blame them, though. They didn't force me; the decision was mine. Whether they induced it or not, I let myself be controlled, and that was entirely my fault. I regretted it greatly now.
That was it though and albeit not having any expectations, I will still greatly disappointed. Was this really all I risked my freedom for? A bunch of worthless papers? Was it because of my haste, or was there nothing to begin with? If I searched it thoroughly, not that I regretted coming to Lisa as soon as I could, would I find something more? Perhaps that was why the gun was missing. Did he extract everything of any importance from the drawer? But that would mean he knew I searched it before and if he knew of the phone, he would surely do anything he could to get it back.
Lisa was unharmed, so maybe this was why it was so easy and unguarded because there was nothing to guard at all. Maybe it was a big joke to him, to see me try only so I could be disappointed. But if he knew I was coming, why was he not waiting for me? Why didn't he trap me in the penthouse? None of it made any sense to me still. I truly didn't understand the way that man's mind worked, and to say it worried me slightly would be an understatement. Because though I hated the man and his inflated ego, I had to admit; he was smart. Cunning. He knew what he was doing at all times. It made me feel unnerved that what I've done could've possibly been his plan all along and I was doing exactly what he wanted me to.
Shaking my head, I dismissed those thoughts. I couldn't be focusing on what-ifs. I had to be confident. No matter how small, the possibility that I outsmarted him was still there, and I had to cling to that hope. It was a little challenging, though, as I gazed at the worthless stack of papers before me. None of it was of any use to me. None of it could be used against him. I doubted anyone would find anything among the company's documents. Clearly, all things that presented any danger to him were removed from the drawer before I arrived.
Still, I grabbed the backpack from beside me, looking through it just in case I missed something. Grabbing the phone Lisa gave me, I went to turn on the flashlight, but before I could, the screen lit up with Lisa's name popping up on the screen.
Sunflower :
Hey, I just arrived
Thankfully, I managed to make it on time, so that's good
I'm sure I wouldn't have if you kissed me one more time though :)
I'll text you once we finish, okay?
See you later baby
I smiled at her messages, my heart fluttering at the nickname. Every time she would call me that, she would awaken the butterflies in my stomach. It couldn't be helped. I was still the love-struck college student that I was almost four years ago now. I remembered when she first called me that, and I couldn't suppress the smile at the memory.
Cole, or whatever his name was, was good for at least one thing, breaking the ice when it came to pet names. Have I not been so jealous that I called her that first, unashamedly claiming her in front of the boy, though technically she wasn't even mine then, who knows if she'd call me her baby now. Because though it started out as a form of teasing, somewhere along the way, she meant it. And I loved being her baby. It made me feel special.
Shooting a quick reply back, despite knowing she probably wouldn't read it until she was finished, I turned on the flashlight, turning it to the backpack and illuminating the insides. I might have not found anything when I was searching for it blindly, but perhaps I was just unlucky. Maybe there was something I just couldn't see.
And I did. I missed something. Twice, almost. Have I averted my eyes when I was pulling the phone away, in disappointment, I wouldn't notice the slight shine of the black piece of plastic tugged in the bottom corner of the rucksack. Eagerly diving for it, I pulled out a tiny USB, probably the smallest I have ever seen.
Examining it in my hands, I disregarded the backpack again and reached for Lisa's laptop sitting at the end of the table. Perhaps I should've given it more thought. Perhaps I should've thought about the consequences my actions could've brought. But I didn't. Not a single thought, not a single red flag. Nothing went through my mind as I logged onto the computer and impatiently waited for it to load so I could insert the USB into the slot at the side.
Perhaps it was a mistake, what I did next, but at that moment, I couldn't find myself to care. Because I possibly found something of value, something that could maybe bring Chanyeol to his knees and be my "get out of jail free card". And when desperate, you don't think about things. When desperate, you take the chance without a second thought.
That's exactly what I did, as I inserted the USB in and a window popped up on the screen.
"Password?"