A Wonderful Adventure For This Metalhead (KonoSuba x Male Reader)

Crimson Legend

Yunyun: "I...I...I WANT TO HAVE (Y/N)'S BABY!"

Everyone at the table looked stunned, (Y/N) included. After a moment of silence, he stood up. He then swept Yunyun up bridal style and ran out of the guild without a word. Everyone had to take a second to process what had just happened.

Megumin: "...GET BACK HERE!"

Megumin quickly sprinted off after them, but she only got just outside of the guild before she was hit with another surprise. Leaning against the outside wall of the guild was a hysterically laughing (Y/N), and a very red Yunyun.

Megumin: "Just what do you two think you're doing?!"

(Y/N): "Relax. I just-"

Megumin: "I will not relax! She's supposed to be my rival in magic, not my rival in love!"

(Y/N): "Hey, I'm not cheating! If I was, I would've kept running! I only did this to tease you, mess with you a little bit."

Megumin thought about it for a moment.

Megumin: "Joke or not, this isn't funny."

(Y/N): "Well I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings. But you know I wouldn't mess around with other girls."

Megumin: "...That's true, I've never had reason to doubt you. I'm sorry."

(Y/N): "Hey its alright. I would've done the same thing had you run out with some other guy."

Megumin: "The only person I'd ever do that with is you."

(Y/N): "And I with you."

Megumin started to inch closer to (Y/N).

Megumin: "Well I suppose both of us deserve a reward for being so loyal~"

(Y/N): "Oh really? Well I'd like to cash my reward in right now."

Megumin: "I have no complaints."

Yunyun: "I-I'm...s-still here"

The couple went dark red. They'd just flirted like that right in front of one of their friends. Yunyun was just as red, but from nervous awkwardness more than embarrassment.

(Y/N): "L-l-let's just go home and d-discuss this!"

(Timeskip)

The party, along with Yunyun, had gone back to the mansion, hoping to clear what they thought was a misunderstanding.

(Y/N): "So just to be sure...Can you repeat that proposition?"

Yunyun: "I-I said I want to have (Y/N)'s baby."

(Y/N): "U-uh..."

Yunyun: "The firstborn must be a boy too!"

Megumin: "What's gotten into you?!"

(Y/N) looked up at the ceiling in thought.

Megumin: "Don't tell me you're seriously considering it?!"

(Y/N): "No, I'm just trying to process this. That, and I'm also thinking about a dog I saw on the way home."

Darkness: "We should probably stay on the topic at hand..."

(Y/N): "Yeah, you're right."

Megumin: "Yunyun, you have to reconsider! (Y/N) isn't all that he seems!"

(Y/N): "Oi."

Megumin grasped onto Yunyun's shoulders and started to shake her.

Megumin: "He's not the one to be a father to your children! He's a traveling man, he'd probably just leave as soon as they're born!"

(Y/N): "I don't appreciate the shit talking, especially from someone I love. If you don't quit it, I'll have to prove that I can be a good dad."

Megumin went pale, and quickly let go of Yunyun. She grabbed (Y/N)'s hands.

Megumin: "No wait! I didn't mean it, I was just-"

(Y/N): "I know, trying to talk her out of it. But there has to be a better way than this. I'm sure there's a logical answer for it, I wouldn't be surprised if Dust put her up to this."

He turned to Yunyun.

(Y/N): "So now that I'm sure of what you said, can you tell me the reason why?"

Yunyun: "The Crimson Demon village is going to be wiped out!"

Once again, everyone was stunned.

(Y/N): "Huh...A little different then I'd thought."

Megumin: "What do you mean it's going to be wiped out?"

Yunyun: "U-um, here. Look at this."

Yunyun handed Megumin a letter on two pieces of paper.

Megumin: "From Yunyun's father, the village chief."

Megumin read the letter out loud for everyone to hear.

Megumin: "By the time you read this, I will have surely passed on."

(Y/N): "Well that's...concerning."

Megumin: "It says that the Devil King is planning to launch a fullscale attack on the Crimson Demon village. A great diviner has seen a future where the entire village is wiped out...but they also saw a beacon of hope. That beacon is the only surviving member of the Crimson Demon clan, Yunyun. The only survivor? What happens to me?"

(Y/N): "Nothing if I have anything to do with it."

Yunyun: "Keep reading."

Megumin: "As the only survivor, she would find a certain man in a town of beginners. This man, although unremarkable and with no special power, will become her husband."

(Y/N): "That's...ouch."

Kazuma patted (Y/N)'s shoulder.

Kazuma: "There there."

(Y/N) put his hands on his head, distressed.

(Y/N): "I literally have a guitar that shoots lightning. Am I really not that special? I'm starting to relate to Radiohead again..."

Megumin: "After some time, the son born to her and her husband would go on an adventure. Little did he know, that he would be the one to avenge his clansmen...and defeat the Devil King."

(Y/N): "Wait, what? Not me, but my hypothetical son is gonna be the one to do that bastard in?"

Aqua: "That's far too long. Hurry up and defeat him now. Or you know what, I can wait three years, but more than that is just troublesome."

Kazuma: "You want a toddler to kill the Devil King?"

Yunyun: "The Crimson Demons have powerful oracles, so the divination should be..."

(Y/N): "Is there some other way to go about this? I don't want your clan to die out, but I'd rather not have a baby with you. Wait, that sounds mean. What I mean is that, you're cute and sweet and all, but I have uh...prior engagements. Other plans for the future."

Megumin scanned the letter again before her eyes settled on something at the bottom corner of the second page.

Megumin: "It says 'Legend of The Crimson Demon Hero Chapter 1. Author, Arue.'"

Yunyun: "Ah."

Aqua walked over and looked at the letter.

Aqua: "Yeah, the second part is in a different handwriting. Plus, there's a post script that says: 'Postage was too expensive, so I asked the village chief to send it with his. I'll send chapter 2 when it's done.'"

Yunyun grabbed the letter, crushed it into a little ball, and fell on the floor crying.

Yunyun: "Waaahhhh, that's too much! Arue, you idiot!"

(Y/N): "Who's Arue?"

Megumin: "One of our classmates. She's...She's a weird girl aiming to become an author.

Darkness: "So it was just a story? That's a relief...But what about the first letter?"

Megumin picked up the first paper again.

Megumin: "The contents of this one should be true. The Crimson Demons have been a thorn in the Devil King's side for a long time. They're probably getting serious about attacking them. It was only a matter of time."

Darkness: "How are you so calm about this? Your village is in danger, aren't you worried about your family and your classmates?"

Yunyun: "Th-that's right! This is no time to be crying! What should we do Megumin?"

Megumin: "Crimson Demons aren't ones to sit around and wait for their demise. Plus as long as you, the daughter of the chief, is here, the bloodline won't die out completely. The rest of the village is sure to live on in our hearts."

Yunyun: "How can you be so cold hearted?!"

Yunyun looked to (Y/N), teary-eyed and blushing slightly.

Yunyun: "S-sorry for saying such weird stuff so suddenly."

(Y/N): "It's all good. But what are you gonna do? Isn't your village in danger?"

Yunyun: "Y-yes, I'll be preparing to leave for the village. After all, it's my home village, my f-friends are there."

She didn't act very certain with the word friends.

Yunyun: "Sorry for bothering everyone. Um, you too Megumin. Goodbye."

The party watched as Yunyun walked away lonely.

(Timeskip)

Later in the night, (Y/N) was in his room trying to write some music. Soon he heard a knock at his door.

(Y/N): "Come on in."

Megumin opened the door.

Megumin: "What are you up to?"

(Y/N): "Just trying to write some riffs. Emphasis on 'trying'. Aqua gave me inspiration for a name, but I can't seem to play a single riff that I like."

Megumin: "Aqua gave you inspiration?"

(Y/N): "Yeah, with her final attack in Alcanretia. You can't tell me that 'Requiem Of The Gods' doesn't sound badass."

Megumin: "...That is pretty cool, actually."

(Y/N): "But did you wanna talk about something? I could use a break right now."

Megumin: "Yes I did. You see...I actually have a sister back in the village, and..."

(Y/N): "Aww, you're worried about Yunyun!"

Megumin: "N-no I'm not! I'm worried about my sister!"

(Y/N): "You're cute when you act tsundere, you know that?"

Megumin: "I-I'm not a tsundere!"

Megumin pouted as (Y/N) laughed. He calmed down, and hugged her.

(Y/N): "Regardless of who you're worried about, I know that you're gonna ask to go back to the village."

Megumin: "...You're too perceptive sometimes."

(Y/N): "Look, Kazuma's our party leader, so he has the final decision. But even if we don't all go, I'll go with you."

Megumin: "Thank you. So I should ask Kazuma?"

(Y/N): "Yeah. I have a feeling he'll be on board with it."

Megumin: "Alright. I'll go ask him before it gets too late."

She got up to leave, but (Y/N) grabbed her hand.

(Y/N): "Wait, can I talk to you about something?"

Megumin: "Always, what's on your mind?"

(Y/N): "Earlier, when Yunyun was here. I know you said those things to try and talk her out of the whole idea, but...Do...Do you really think that? Like I'd be a bad dad?"

Megumin: "No, of course not! Why would you think that I would?"

(Y/N): "I mean, you brought up a valid point. I'm not exactly one to sit still. But that doesn't mean-"

She cut him off by kissing him. She pulled away and sat beside him, holding his hand with both of hers.

Megumin: "I know you remember in Alcanretia, it wasn't that long ago. After we...you know, we talked about the future. We both told each other that we'd be fine wherever, as long as we had each other. Have you changed your mind about that?"

(Y/N): "Of course not."

Megumin: "And neither have I. And you haven't lied to me before, so why would I have reason to question you?"

He hugged her tight again.

(Y/N): "You always know what to say to put me at ease. Thank you."

Megumin: "Remember, I'm with you. Forever and always."

(Y/N): "Thank you again. Now go ask Kazuma before he passes out."

Megumin: "I will. And then, can I..."

(Y/N): "Yes, you can come back here for the night."

Megumin pumped her fist in the air, and ran to talk to Kazuma.

(Timeskip)

Wiz: "The Crimson Demon village? You want me to teleport you there?"

Kazuma: "Yeah, our tsundere is worried about Yunyun."

Megumin: "I-I'm not a tsundere! And I told you, I'm worried about my sister, not Yunyun!""

(Y/N): "That just makes you sound like more of a tsundere."

Vanir: "Well if it isn't the boy who has the easiest class to level, but still manages to be underleveled. And the girl who's been useless as of late, other than relying on the power of her family name, the delinquent priestess who emits an obnoxiously annoying light, the girl from a joke race who can only use joke magic, and the boy who's been trying to write music for the past month, and failed every time."

(Y/N): "Damn, you got me."

Vanir started talking to Kazuma about their contract.

(Y/N): "Hey Wiz, you got any whiskey?" 'Hehe, Wizkey.'

Wiz: "N-no, I don't have any alcohol for sale."

Darkness: "Can't you go a little while without it?"

(Y/N): "Normally, yeah. But not today."

Darkness: "Why not?"

(Y/N): "I gotta have something to calm my nerves. I'm meeting Megumin's parents today, and no dad takes kindly to his teenage daughter's boyfriend. I may be fearless enough to take on Devil King generals, but no sane man is gonna pick a fight with his girlfriend's father."

Darkness: "And you think that showing up smelling like whiskey will help your case?"

(Y/N): "...Fair point. I need to calm down though, or else I'll end up-"

The sound of something breaking startled everyone.

Vanir: "Hands off the merchandise, you walking blight! Must you destroy something everywhere you go?!"

Aqua: "Excuse me?! The customer is always right, and I'm a goddess so I'm extra right!"

Vanir: "How dare you try to lecture me after you destroyed my merchandise, you poverty-stricken goddess! Wiz, get them out of here immediately!"

(Small Timeskip)

Wiz: "Ok, I'll send you to the vicinity of the Crimson Demon village. I wish you a wonderful journey and experience. Teleport!"

As the magic circle formed under the party's feet, Vanir grit his teeth and shook his fist at Aqua, who was sticking her tongue out at him. Suddenly, the five disappeared into thin air.

Wiz: "Hmmmmm."

Vanir: "What's wrong?"

Wiz: "Isn't the Crimson Demon village near..."

.
.
.

Current Objective: Survive.

(Y/N): "Wiz, what the FUCK?!"

Kazuma: "We don't have time, just run!"

And they did, harder than they'd ever ran before. They couldn't afford to slow down.

Orc 1: "Hold it right there!"

Orc 2: "Hey handsome, wanna have some fun with me?"

Kazuma: "Why is there a mob of lady orcs?!"

Megumin: "Kazuma, (Y/N)! There aren't any more male orcs left!"

Darkness: "Eh?!"

Megumin: "They were all wiped out ages ago! And the rare occasion that a male is born, it's usually overworked by the females and dies before it can mature! The surviving female orcs are known for capturing males of other races, dragging them back to their communities, and doing all sorts of unspeakable things to them! They're natural born predators of men!"

(Y/N): "Fuck me!"

Orc 1: "If you insist!"

(Y/N): "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

Orc 2: "Come spend a few days in our village and you'll have a harem, baby! Let us give you a taste of heaven on earth!"

Kazuma: "No, thank you!" 'I just turned down a lady's invitation for the first time!'

(Y/N): "Go fuck yourself!"

Orc 2: "Only if you watch!"

(Y/N): "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH I'LL JUST SHUT MY MOUTH!"

Darkness: "Wait! Male orcs are supposed to be the natural predators of female knights! Male orcs! Renowned for their libido, and attacking women as soon as they see them!"

Megumin: "They're all dead."

Darkness simply stopped running, and fell to the ground.

Megumin & Aqua: "Darkness!"

Orc 2: "I'm gonna have your babies!"

Orc 3: "No, me!"

Orc 1: "I want a son first! And then 60 boys and 40 girls! We'll move into a white house by the sea, and spend every day all over each other!"

Kazuma: "I just wanna go home!"

Suddenly, an orc dove out from the mob and caught Kazuma, pinning him to the ground. A second dove out and pinned (Y/N) just the same.

(Y/N): "Ow! My fucking back! Did I land on a rock?!"

Kazuma: "Megumin, do the thing! Do the thing you always do!"

Megumin: "I can't use it at this range! D-Darkness, please stop being depressed and help us!"

The orc on top of Kazuma was constantly leaning in closer menacingly.

Orc 1: "Don't worry, this won't take long! Just close your eyes and relax!"

Kazuma: "Can't we talk about this?!"

Orc 1: "Pillow talk? I'd love to! Tell me all those dirty fantasies you've been bottling up!"

The orcs started to take off Kazuma and (Y/N)'s clothes, starting with their pants.

Kazuma: "Wait, we should start with introductions! This could be my first time, and I don't even know your name! I'm Kazuma Satou!"

Swatti: "I'm Swatti the orc, and I'm a sweet sixteen year old!"

Orc 2: "A quiet one, aren't you? That's alright, they're always the loudest in the end!"

(Y/N): 'You'll be saved. You'll be saved. Just wait for your savior, and think happy thoughts! Think of Megumin, think of your favorite whiskey, think of Amelia...' "AMELIA!"

(Y/N) finally realized what that hard sensation was on his back. He got a burst of strength, enough to push the orc up into the air off of him. He quickly scrambled up, and started running again.

Kazuma: "Wait! Help me!"

(Y/N) didn't say a word, he just kept running.

Swatti: "How about you introduce me to your big little friend down here!"

Kazuma: "But he's so shy!"

The orc continued to advance.

Kazuma: "Aqua! Aqua, save me!"

Yunyun: "Bottomless Swamp!"

Kazuma looked to see the orcs starting to sink into a poison pit all around him. He looked towards where the spell was casted from, and saw Yunyun with (Y/N) cowering behind her.

Yunyun: "Orcs that live near the Crimson Demon village, I'll overlook this because we're neighbors! Now begone!"

Kazuma: "Yunyun! It's Yunyun!"

Kazuma crawled to Yunyun's feet and thanked her an endless amount of times.

(Small Timeskip)

Kazuma was sucking his thumb with his head in Aqua's lap, who was stroking his hair and comforting him.

Aqua: "There there, Kazuma. That certainly was scary, wasn't it? But it's alright, you're ok now."

Megumin held her arms around (Y/N), who had curled himself in a ball, grasping onto Amelia for dear life. He coped the only way he knew how, through music. He kept humming a disturbing melody.

(Y/N): "ᴹʸ ˡᵃᵐᵇ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐᵃʳᵗʸʳ...ᵗʰᶦˢ ʷᶦˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ˢᵒᵒⁿ...ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ˢᵒ ᵖʳᵉᶜᶦᵒᵘˢ..."

He honestly looked like he was possessed. Megumin rubbed his back trying to comfort him.

Darkness: "Wh-what exactly happened while I was passed out? We've only just started this journey..."

(Y/N): 'Just thinking about it makes me wanna die. If this is even half the hell that Jonathan Davis went through, then I understand why Daddy is so fucked.'

(A/N: I'm gonna go on a little rant about this song here, so feel free to skip this if you don't wanna read it. Daddy is genuinely the most heartwrenching, saddening song I've ever heard in my life. And yet, it's one that I think everyone should hear at least once. It shows the effects that abuse can, and almost always will, leave on the victim. But I don't blame you if you wanna never hear it again after. It sticks with you, man. Without fail, everytime I hear the bass start to kick in on that song, I genuinely feel sick to my stomach. If you've never heard it, please listen, it's quite an experience. And if you do listen to it after reading this, remember that the crying and breakdown at the end of the song are real, not acting. That song is what trauma and pain sound like.)

Kazuma: "I'm so grateful to Yunyun. In fact from now on, if anyone asks me who look up to, I'll say "Yunyun!" Without hesitation."

Yunyun: "P-please don't do that! That almost sounds sarcastic...Why are you all out here anyway? Megumin, were you really worried about the village?"

Megumin: "...I just remembered that I had some business back home."

(Y/N): 'Tsundere.'

Yunyun: "You just won't admit it. You really were worried about everyone at home! Weren't you?"

Megumin: "Kazuma, would you like to hear an embarrassing secret about Yunyun? We Crimson Demons are born with a tattoo somewhere on our bodies."

Kazuma's eyes widened and brightened at the new information he was being fed.

Megumin: "And in Yunyun's case, if you can believe it..."

Yunyun: "Cut that out! How do you even know where my tattoo is?!"

Whether it was a coping mechanism, or he was just that horny, (Y/N) started thinking about the tattoo. Time seemed to slow down in (Y/N)'s head as he processed the new information.

(Y/N): 'All Crimson Demons are born with a tattoo somewhere on their bodies. Megumin is a Crimson Demon, so she has a tattoo. But I've never seen it...I know that the lights were kind of dim when we had our first time, but I was still able to see. On the front side, from her neck all the way down to her thighs, and I definitely wouldn't have missed it if it was on her thigh...I didn't see anything. Which means that it could be in a few places. On her lower leg, on her foot, on her back, or on her.....I need to find that tattoo...for, uh, closure. Yeah, closure.'

He heard Kazuma scream about something, but his mind was preoccupied. After thinking about the tattoo for a couple more minutes, he finally became aware of his surroundings, and noticed enemies all around them.

(Y/N): "What the hell?!"

A group of three goblin looking enemies were laughing evilly at them. They quieted down as Aqua walked forward and cracked her knuckles. Then she leaned forward, and started to mock them.

Aqua: "Well if it isn't a bunch of discount, wannabe demons! Oh my! What would a bunch of ogre looking washouts, who couldn't even make it as lesser demons want with us? Look, I'll let you walk away this time, so scram! Go on, get!"

Suddenly, many more goblins popped out of the bushes, backing up their buddies.

Little Goblin: "What gives, priestly lady? The Crimson Demons have been giving us hell, and you've got two of them. You really think we're gonna let them walk?!"

Yunyun started to step forward, but Megumin stuck her hand in front of her.

Megumin: "I remember you calling my magic a joke. Perhaps I should remind you just how serious it can be."

A magic circle started to form under Megumin.

Yunyun: "W-wait, you're not seriously going to-"

Megumin: "EXPLOSION!"

Megumin quite literally exploded everything in her vicinity...including her party. She, as well as everyone else, layed exhausted on the ground.

Megumin: "Did you see that?! My ultimate magic! So (Y/N), how many points would you give that magnificent explosion?"

(Y/N): "It was pretty cool, except the part where you, you know...blew all of us to hell too! Negative ninety points!"

The small goblin from earlier emerged from the ashes.

Little Goblin: "H-h-holy crap, that was scary. But it doesn't matter anymore, my reinforcements are here!"

A horde of goblins was closing in behind him.

Little Goblin: "This is the part where you cry and beg for mercy! Not that it'll do any-"

The little goblin was trampled by the massive group. Before they could reach the weakened party though, four people teleported in between them and the goblins.

???: "Not even a scrap of flesh shall remain! The dark flames born from my ebon heart will scorch you!"

???: "Slumber for eternity in the frozen embrace of my ice!"

???: "I...kill...you."

(Y/N): "This guy is my favorite."

???: "Now...It is born!"

They started to charge up attacks as the horde began to panic.

???: "Light Of Saber!"

???: "Light Of Saber!"

???: "...Saber!"

???: "...Ber!"

They effortlessly cut down the horde of enemies.

Kazuma: 'What happened to the dark flames and frozen embraces? There's no doubt about it though, these are Crimson Demons.'

(Y/N): 'It may not have been the attacks they said they'd use, but it still looked really fuckin cool! I can appreciate a little showmanship!'

???: "We heard explosions nearby, and here we find Megumin and Yunyun."

Megumin: "We were told that the village could be in danger?"

Crimson Demons: "Huh?"

Party: "Huh?"

After a few seconds of silence, the Crimson Demon in front spoke up again.

???: "I'm curious, Megumin. Are these people your adventuring party?"

Megumin nodded, and he in turn nodded as well. His eyes started to glow as he did various poses.

Bukkororii: "I am called Bukkororii! Son of the foremost cobbler among the Crimson Demons! An Arch Wizard and wielder of advanced magic!"

(Y/N) walked out to meet him. He started posing too, but with not nearly as much enthusiasm as Bukkororii.

(Y/N): "Hey, I'm (Y/N) (L/N). An adventurer and musician from the town of Axel. I have mastered countless scales and runs, as well as the art of lightning to help my party defeat many foes."

The Crimson Demons were all excited.

Bukkororii: "Wow! No outsider has ever been able to return a Crimson Demon greeting before! Your friends seem really nice, Megumin!"

Megumin blushed slightly and looked at her feet.

Bukkororii: "The village is still some distance away, so we'll take you there. Teleport!"

The entire group vanished once again. They found themselves in a beautiful village.

Bukkororii: "Welcome to the Crimson Demon village, outsiders. And it's good to have you back, Megumin, Yunyun."

At Yunyun's home...

After making it to Yunyun's house, they all sat down and had a conversation with her father, who they thought to be dead.

(Y/N): "I mean, it's good that he isn't dead, but...Isn't he supposed to be dead?"

Yunyun: "D-Dad, could you repeat that?"

Village Chief: "That was just me sending you an update!"

Yunyun: "But it said that by the time I got this, you would've already passed on!"

Village Chief: "That's the traditional Crimson Demon greeting!"

Yunyun: "But you said you wouldn't be able to destroy the Devil King's fortress!"

Village Chief: "Yeah, the village can't decide whether to destroy it or leave it as a tourist attraction."

(Y/N): "Yunyun, I'm gonna punch your dad in the face. You good with that?"

Yunyun: "...Go ahead."

Village Chief: "Yunyun?!"

Darkness: "If the Devil King's army is here, then a general..."

Village Chief: "Yes, there's one with them. Strong in magic, I think. Should be showing up any second now."

Loudspeaker: "Devil King army alert. Anyone available, please report to the front gate. Enemy forces number 1000."

Kazuma & Darkness: "1000?!"

(Small Timeskip)

They assembled and headed towards the battle, but when they got there, they saw that they weren't needed.

(Y/N): "Holy shit."

Every type of spell that could be casted was, and the goblins were running for their lives.

Little Goblin: "I told them attacking the Crimson Demons was a bad idea! No one ever listens to-"

He was frozen solid. The rest watched an onslaught take place.

Kazuma: "Wh-whoa. This is so impressive it's freaky."

Village Chief: "So what do you think? We were hoping the light show would pull in more tourists!"

(Y/N): "This is fuckin insane."

(Timeskip)

The sun was getting low as the party walked down a dirt path.

Kazuma: "Wow, so those were real Crimson Demons!"

Megumin: "When you put it that way, it makes it sound like you know a fake one. Why don't you tell me what you meant by that."

Megumin tried to reach out and grab Kazuma, but she couldn't reach him from (Y/N)'s back.

Aqua: "Hey Megumin, is that your stables?"

Megumin: "That's not the stables, that's the house."

Aqua: "Eh?"

They walked up and (Y/N) knocked on the door. After a second or two, the door slid open to reveal a small Crimson Demon girl with a cape and a star in her hair.

Kazuma: "Is this your little sister, Megumin? She's pretty cute."

Aqua: "It's like having a mini Megumin."

She squatted down and held her hand out.

Aqua: "Here, want some candy?"

Megumin: "Komekko, I'm home."

(Y/N): "So this is the Komekko I've heard about. Ain't you just knee high to a grasshopper?"

Komekko stared for a moment before quickly turning around and shouting into the house.

Komekko: "Dad! Megumin's back, and she's snared a man!"

Komekko ran off into the house.

(Y/N): "That's just great."

Kazuma: "What the hell did you even call her?"

(Y/N): "Knee high to a grasshopper?"

Kazuma: "Is that an insult?"

(Y/N): "...Kinda I guess, it means short. But any southern saying can be a compliment or an insult."

Kazuma: "What?"

(Y/N): "Bless you're heart could mean what it sounds like, or it could mean that you're the dumbest person I've ever met."

Kazuma: "I'll never understand."

(Y/N): "Well, bless your heart."

(Small Timeskip)

(Y/N) sat nervously across the small table from Megumin's parents, Megumin sleeping by his side.

(Y/N): 'Why? Why'd she have to fall asleep when I needed her most? This is fucking terrifying!'

Kazuma: 'I've never been in this situation, but I feel for you, bro.'

Aqua started to move a cup around the table without touching it, wiggling her fingers.

Aqua: "See how the mug moves on it's own when I flip it over?"

Komekko: "Oh wow! How'd you do that?!"

Darkness: "A magnet! It has to be some kind of magnet!"

Aqua: "Nope, there are no magnets or magic involved!"

Hyoizaburo: "I'll ask again. What is your relationship with our daughter?"

(Y/N): "Uh...You see, I'm uh...I'm her...b-boyfriend?"

Hyoizaburo yelled, and violently grabbed the table, but Yuiyui held it in place.

Yuiyui: "Honey! Stop! No more flipping the table and breaking it! We don't have that kind of money!"

.
.
.

Hyoizaburo: "Forgive me, I lost my composure. This is the first time that Megumin has brought home a boy, and I'm still apprehensive."

(Y/N): "I-I understand, sir."

(Y/N) reached down into his bag and pulled out a box.

(Y/N): "It's not really much, but I wanted to make a good impression. Here, it's my mama's recipe for cornbread."

Kazuma, Aqua & Darkness: 'He could've shared.'

(Y/N) slid the box across the table, and both Yuiyui and Hyoizaburo reached for it at the same time.

Hyoizaburo: "Dear, I believe (Y/N) was giving this to me."

Yuiyui: "Oh really? After all that talk about being apprehensive, you're the first to reach for a gift. This is going to be our dinner tonight, I won't let you snack on it with your booze."

(Y/N): 'A drinking man, huh? Looks like we have more in common than I thought.' "I-it's really not a meal, it's more of a side dish..."

Komekko: "Woah! Is this the kind of food that fills you up, instead of the watery rice porridge we usually eat?!"

(Y/N): 'That's...really sad. I'm definitely gonna spoil this little girl while I'm here.'

He reached in his bag and grabbed another box.

(Y/N): "Here, I know what it's like to be short on food. I made more in case it wasn't enough, and I can make more, if you want me too. And I have other recipes I can cook too."

Hyoizaburo slid the box across the table towards himself.

Hyoizaburo: "Glad to have you, (Y/N)! Honey, bring out the good tea!"

Yuiyui: "We only have one type of tea, dear."

Yuiyui brought back some tea. Komekko was chowing down on the cornbread that (Y/N) made.

(Y/N): "Komekko, you can have the rest of that batch. I'll make some more."

Komekko: "I can?! Yay!"

Hyoizaburo: "I don't care what you feed us, you can't have Komekko!"

(Y/N): "Th-that's not what I'm trying to do!"

(Y/N) started to calm down more, and simply laughed a little.

(Y/N): "Sir, believe me, one Crimson Demon is more than enough for me. Well, for now at least."

Yuiyui: "For now? You aren't planning to leave my daughter, are you?"

(Y/N) swore he saw menacing kanji floating above Yuiyui.

(Y/N): "N-no ma'am! It's the opposite actually. I hope to have a family with her someday."

Both parents were surprised.

(Y/N): "Megumin...She's the best thing to happen to me in a long, long time. I'm serious about her, you can count on that."

He wouldn't admit it, but Hyoizaburo had new found respect for (Y/N).

(Y/N): "It's strange."

Both of them curiously looked to (Y/N).

(Y/N): "I was a rolling stone for so long. I never thought that I'd find one I could think about settling down with, let alone want to settle down with. But now...I simply can't picture my future without her."

Yuiyui wanted to gauge just how much he cared. Was he really serious, or just full of hot air?

Yuiyui: "Oh my, you seem so attached to her. Is there anything in particular you love about her?"

(Y/N) looked up in thought.

Hyoizaburo: "Do you really have to think that hard?!"

(Y/N): "No, I'm trying to shorten the list so we won't be here all day."

Both were surprised by his answer.

(Y/N): "Let's see. The first thing that caught me was her eyes. You could get lost in those gorgeous crimson eyes. Calling her cute would be the biggest understatement of my life."

Yuiyui was intrigued that he'd chosen physical features first.

(Y/N): "And then I actually talked to her. I'll admit, the Crimson Demon greeting caught me off guard at first. But she had such charisma that I couldn't help but be captivated. Then after our first quest, she talked about being abandoned by other parties. And when I tell you my heart broke for her, it shattered. But it was strengthened all the same. No matter if she was left alone, she'd keep pursuing the thing she loved most, explosion. That loyalty, that tenacity...I was just...enamored. I could relate to her. I've told her before, when I came here I wasn't happy, but she never did stop smiling at me. Whether I'd just cracked a stupid joke, or to cheer me up, or even just because, her smile was never really gone. And that's when I made it my mission in life. Make her smile, keep her happy. And I've failed a few times. But I've made up for it. I would do anything to make her happy."

(Y/N) ran his thumb over the sleeping Megumin's hand.

(Y/N): "I would love for you two to accept me, but if you won't...then I'll have to run away with her. Because I just can't live without her. That's what I mean when I say I'm serious."

The two were floored. They never expected this kind of a response. When Megumin had written home singing his praises, they just thought she was experiencing her first crush. But here (Y/N) was talking about a future together, and doing anything for her to be happy.

Yuiyui: "Wow...You've...failed a few times?"

(Y/N): "There's one time I recall failing the hardest, and that's in Alcanretia, when I made her cry."

Hyoizaburo: "Made her cry?!"

Hyoizaburo was ready to jump over the table again.

(Y/N): "H-hold on, I can explain this!"

Hyoizaburo: "You'd better!"

(Y/N): "The situation was more complicated than that! We were in that God forsaken hotsprings town, and we'd finally found a spot where we weren't hounded by Axis Cultists. To make a long story shorter, there was a guy there that found her attractive. Honestly can't blame him, but I can blame him for trying to make moves on her, even after I warned him about it. I tried to keep my cool, I really did. But when he reached out and tried to kiss her hand, I couldn't stay calm. He caught a right hook from me, and I was 'asked' to leave."

Hyoizaburo was starting to feel better about the situation.

(Y/N): "The way that I handled the whole thing was wrong, and it embarrassed her. But she was worried about me, and asked what was going on. I snapped at her in the middle of the street, and I walked away when she asked me not to. Truth be told, the same sort of situation had happened to me before. The way that guy was acting, it just brought up awful memories. My first flame...she burned me bad. But I wasn't about to use bad memories to excuse it. I felt like shit for it, and at the end of the day, I came back to our room with a dozen roses and an apology. She forgave me, and the rest is history. That night was just...magical."

Hyoizaburo was on board until the last sentence. He looked angry, but (Y/N) was reminiscing.

Hyoizaburo: "Just what did you two do?!"

(Y/N): "We danced."

Yuiyui & Hyoizaburo: "What?"

(Y/N): "Oh, a feature on my guitar is that I can play something, and then have it repeat. So I recorded songs, and I sang to her. We danced until way past sundown that night."

Yuiyui: "I will admit, I doubted you. But it seems like you really do love her."

(Y/N): "More than anything else."

Yuiyui: "But really, you should take care of your debt before planning a future."

(Y/N): "Oh, our debt will be gone in no time. We've got a contract, and some money coming in soon."

Hyoizaburo: "Oh? How much are we talking?"

Kazuma: 'I have a bad feeling about this.'

(Y/N): "Around 300 million, wasn't it, Kazuma?"

Yuiyui & Hyoizaburo: "300 MILLION?!"

Hyoizaburo: "I have a wonderful idea! You should spend the night! After all you're an adventurer! You probably don't have a home of your own!"

(Y/N): "I-I'd love to. The mansion back home gets too big for me sometimes."

Yuiyui & Hyoizaburo: "MANSION?!"

(Timeskip)

(Y/N) submerged himself in the steaming hot water.

(Y/N): "Ahhh~ That feels good on my back."

He soaked in the soapy water for a while.

(Y/N): 'It seems that they like me more now, but it's not for the reasons I wanted. Oh well, I'll just have to show them how much she means to me!'

After a little while longer, (Y/N) got out of the tub and dried himself. As he came out of the bathroom, he heard the sound of someone hitting the floor. He rushed to the source of the sound, and saw everyone but Yuiyui on the ground sleeping. Yuiyui turned to him with a smile.

Yuiyui: "Ah, (Y/N), I see you're finished with your bath. As you can see, everyone is already asleep. Can you help me move them to their rooms?"

(Y/N): "Y-yes ma'am."

After (Y/N) helped Yuiyui move everyone to their own beds, Yuiyui pushed him into the room where where Megumin was sleeping, shutting the door behind him.

(Y/N): 'I'm getting strange vibes from this. I'm should never have mentioned the money.'

Yuiyui: "Lock!"

(Y/N): "That's a red flag."

With no other choice, (Y/N) sat Amelia in the corner of the room before sitting down against the wall. He stared into space, and contemplated his next move.

(Y/N): 'We've slept together before, but one of us has always asked for permission. I really don't wanna make her feel uncomfortable. Even if we are dating, and we've done...a couple things, jumping in the bed while the other is asleep just feels strange. But at the same time, I know she probably wouldn't mind. Plus, I'm cold as balls right now. If I get sick, then we won't be able to cuddle together for a while. But if I get sick...maybe she'll take care of me...this a big decision...oh fuck it, I'm freezing.'

(Y/N) quietly slipped into the futon beside Megumin. As she started to stir, (Y/N) decided to mess with her a little. Her eyes fluttered open as she gave out a small yawn.

Megumin: "Mmmhh....good morning."

(Y/N): "Morning, huh? It's night darlin."

Megumin: "I really slept that long?"

(Y/N): "Yeah, it really gave me time to do whatever I wanted."

If she wasn't fully awake before, she was now.

Megumin: "(Y-Y/N)?"

(Y/N): "What?"

Megumin: "What did you do?"

(Y/N): "Something so lewd you couldn't even imagine."

She jumped out of the futon and patted herself down.

(Y/N): "I even did it in front of everyone. The rest of the party, your parents, even Komekko."

Megumin: "I don't understand?! Nothing is different, so what did you do?!"

He rested his head on his hands, trying not to bust out laughing.

(Y/N): "I...I...I held your hand while you were sleeping!"

Megumin started to calm down as she realized he was just screwing with her. She crawled back into the futon, and hugged her laughing boyfriend.

Megumin: "I knew you'd never do something like that."

(Y/N): "And yet, you doubted me. Wait, has something like that happened to you before? I'm such a dumbass! I'm sorry if that-"

Megumin: "No, nothing like that has happened to me. You hang out a lot with Kazuma, Keith and Dust though."

(Y/N): "Don't do that. Kazuma is pervy, but he's got his heart in the right place more often than not. And he always chickens out of situations like this."

Megumin: "That's true. At least from what Darkness has told me. But what about Keith and Dust?"

(Y/N): "Eh...I don't know. Dust did go to jail for peeping. Besides, if I ever forced myself on you, which I would never do, I'd be the same as those orcs."

Megumin: "They really traumatized you and Kazuma."

(Y/N): "Yeah, I've never had anything like that happen to me, and I hope it never does again. Hug me, help me forget about it."

The small bed made them close, but they kept moving closer of their own accord. Megumin gave him a sweet smile.

(Y/N): "Do you know how adorable you are?"

Megumin: "Hmm?"

(Y/N): "You're hair is so cute, but it's even better to see it when it's not trapped under your hat. And you've got those cute pink pajamas on, it just makes me want to hug you all the time."

Megumin: "Th-thank you."

(Y/N): "And that's just a couple things. If I named everything, we'd be here for a few days."

She covered her red face and glowing eyes. (Y/N) just snickered and hugged her closer. His mind started to wander, and he began to lose touch with reality for a moment. Megumin snuggled into (Y/N)'s chest, looking up at him. He looked like he was thinking hard, and her interest was piqued.

Megumin: "What are you thinking about so intensely?"

(Y/N): "Earlier, you said Crimson Demons were born with a tattoo. I've turned our first time over and over in my mind, and I still can't remember a tattoo. If you don't mind me asking, where in the world is yours?"

She blushed, but gave him a seductive smile.

Megumin: "How about I let you find it yourself?"

(Y/N) quickly turned a dark shade of red at her implication. Still, he was able to keep control.

(Y/N): "Y-you know I'd love that. But not here. It just feels wrong doing it at your parents house."

Megumin: "That's alright, I can wait. But the question is, can you?"

(Y/N): "L-look, I'm gonna stand by what I said. But with the way you're acting right now, I only have so much self control. So please, stop that until we get home, and I promise, as soon as we get there, we'll have another night together."

She sighed, but she was happy.

Megumin: "Oh well, I guess we can wait until we get home. But once we get back, don't you dare hold back."

(Y/N): "L-let's just go to sleep before I lose all my composure."

Megumin: "...I don't think I can. I just woke up."

(Y/N): "I've got a solution for this, but it's kinda embarrassing."

Megumin: "Embarrassing how?"

(Y/N): "When my brother was around Komekko's age, he had severe insomnia. When he couldn't close his eyes for the life of him, I used to sing him to sleep. I don't know if you want-"

Megumin: "Y E S."

(Y/N): "O-ok. Let's see, what should I sing...That'll be good."

Megumin rested her head on (Y/N)'s chest, listening as he started to sing.

(Y/N): "I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, darlin
And I don't want to miss a thing.

'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, darlin
And I don't want to miss a thing."

(Y/N) didn't even have to finish the song before he could feel Megumin's breathing deepen. He looked down at Megumin to see her grasping onto his shirt, eyes closed and her mouth slightly open. He kissed her head before closing his own eyes.

(Y/N): "Goodnight Megumin."

With that, he drifted off as well. Soothed by the fatigue from the day, and rhythm of Megumin's heartbeat.

(Timeskip)

When (Y/N) woke up, Megumin was still sleeping, and the door had been unlocked. He strapped Amelia to his back and kissed Megumin's forehead before left the room. It wasn't long before he found that he was the only one awake, other than Yuiyui of course.

(Y/N): "Good morning."

Yuiyui: "Ah, good morning (Y/N). I hope you had a good rest."

(Y/N): "Yeah, I always sleep better with her around."

Yuiyui smirked at him.

Yuiyui: "Oh, you two have slept together before?"

He quickly threw his hands up in defense.

(Y/N): "N-not like that!"

(Y/N) didn't like lying, but he also didn't like to think about telling his girlfriend's mother that they'd taken each other's virginity. He sat in awkward silence for a moment before remembering what he wanted to ask.

(Y/N): "Uh, Ma'am? I was wondering-"

Yuiyui: "(Y/N), you can call me Yuiyui."

(Y/N): "Sorry, it's just my mama's raising. I was taught to call people sir and ma'am."

Yuiyui: "Well I appreciate the manners, but I don't mind."

(Y/N): "A-alright. Well then Yuiyui, I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of the nearest market."

Yuiyui: "The market?"

(Y/N): "Yes ma'am. I was thinking I could cook breakfast for everyone."

Yuiyui: "You really don't have to do that."

(Y/N): "It's ok, I want to. When Komekko started talking about that cornbread like it was a ribeye steak, I wanted to cook her some new food. I was homeless for a while, I know what it's like to have to scrounge for just a bite to eat every couple of days. So I figured that even if I'm only here a few days, I could give y'all a taste of my mama's cooking. It's really good!"

(Y/N) realized that he'd started to ramble, and he quickly shut his mouth. Yuiyui looked surprised, but her face quickly softened.

Yuiyui: "If you wish to, I won't stop you."

She gave him directions towards the nearest place to buy ingredients, and (Y/N) set off on his way.

(Small Timeskip)

Everyone started to wake up at the same time, coaxed from sleep by the smell of good food.

(Y/N): "Y'all come get it while it's still hot!"

Megumin: "So that's where he's been."

Darkness: "Looks like (Y/N)'s in the kitchen again."

Kazuma: "If it's as good as last time, then I have no complaints."

Aqua: "Let's go!"

They made it to the table, and saw Komekko standing up on her tiptoes trying to grab a plate out of (Y/N)'s hands.

(Y/N): "Normally you wait for everyone to sit down to start eating, but I don't think one biscuit is gonna hurt you."

(Y/N) lowered the plate for her to take one of the biscuits he'd made, but Komekko grabbed the whole plate instead. She sat down at the table and started to eat.

(Y/N): "Oh lord. That's alright, I still have more."

Megumin: "You may be spoiling her a bit too much."

(Y/N): "Oh hush. She's a growing girl, she needs her food."

Kazuma: "Pets, children, what don't you have a soft spot for?"

(Y/N): "Your attitude."

Kazuma: "Touché."

(Y/N): "So Komekko, how is it?"

She looked up at him, her mouth filled with food.

Komekko: "Itsh delicioush!"

(Y/N) smiled wide and patted her head. Then he went back into the kitchen and grabbed another plate full of food.

(Y/N): "Biscuits and gravy! Get em while their hot!"

Everyone quickly started to eat as well.

Aqua: "It's good!"

(Y/N): "It's Mama's recipe, it oughtta be."

Kazuma: "Just how many recipes do you have?"

(Y/N): "A bunch, and I'm gonna cook em all for Komekko."

Megumin: "Seriously, you're spoiling her too much."

(Y/N): "Someone's jealous."

Megumin: "A-am not!"

(Y/N) snickered and grabbed her hand.

(Y/N): "I'll spoil you too, don't worry. I'm got something planned for you anyway."

Megumin: "O-ok."

Aqua: "Hey Megumin, can you show us the sights around here?"

Megumin: "That's a good idea actually. We could have a leisurely day, and then stay one more night."

(Y/N): "Count me in."

Kazuma: "Me too. What about you Darkness?"

Darkness: "There's a place I'd like to visit. You all should enjoy the sightseeing."

Megumin: "Alright, so I'll be showing Aqua, (Y/N), and Kazuma around."

(Y/N): "I'll stop by the market again and buy things for supper tonight before we come home."

Kazuma: "You're just going overboard now."

(Y/N): "Maybe just a little."

(Timeskip)

(Y/N): "Oi Kazuma, am I crazy, or is that-"

Kazuma: "It's totally a catgirl."

Megumin showed the three the wonders of the Crimson Demon village. A catgirl statue, a sword in stone that she had to stop Aqua from trying to pull, a fountain, and various other things.

Megumin: "This is the mysterious facility where the Crimson Demons natural enemy is locked away."

Kazuma: "What do you mean, mysterious facility?"

Megumin: "I mean it's a mysterious facility."

(Y/N): "It's kinda in the name, dude."

Megumin: "No one knows what else is inside, who built it, or for what purpose."

Aqua: "Hey Megumin, are there any other places with cool things inside?"

Megumin: "Well there was a tomb where an evil god was sealed away, and a piece of land where a nameless goddess was sealed away, but they escaped."

(Y/N): "You guys need to work on keeping things sealed."

Eventually, they made it to a clothing shop.

???: "Well, if it isn't Megumin! You're back in town? Huh? Are these outsiders?"

Megumin nodded, and the man cut his eyes. Aqua hid behind Kazuma.

Kazuma: 'Uh oh, does he have a problem with outsiders?'

(Y/N): 'So this is where Elvis went when he died.'

The man stayed silent for a moment before striking multiple poses.

Cheekera: "I am called Cheekera! Arch Wizard and wielder of advanced magic, and the owner of the foremost clothing shop among the Crimson Demons! Welcome, folks! It's been a while since I've had outsiders in this shop!"

(Y/N): "You must be a good businessman if you have the foremost shop."

Cheekera: "It helps that it's the only one."

Kazuma and Aqua sweatdropped, and (Y/N) just laughed. He stuck his hand out and shook Cheekera's hand.

(Y/N): "Still, it's impressive."

Megumin: "I was actually looking to replace my current robe. Do you have any more just like this one?"

.
.
.

Cheekera: "All of them? Our little Megumin's gone all bourgeois!"

Megumin: "I'm honestly surprised that the village hasn't heard of my exploits yet. And since this robe is what I wear into action, it can't hurt to have a few extra in my closet. That being said, (Y/N), can you lend me some money?"

(Y/N): "Oi, I thought I was your boyfriend, not your sugar daddy. Oh forget it, I said I'd spoil you a little."

Cheekera: "Thank you very much!"

Cheekera was taking down Megumin's robes, when both (Y/N) and Kazuma noticed what he was hanging them on.

Kazuma: "Isn't that?"

(Y/N): "My dad took me hunting with one of those, and he's hanging clothes on it?"

Cheekera: "Oh, do you recognize this? This is the clothes drying pole that's been passed down my family for generations. It never rusts, so it's pretty handy!"

(Y/N): 'The warheads will all rust in peace!'

Aqua: "That's clearly a rifle."

Kazuma: "What's up with this village?"

(Small Timeskip)

The four were walking down a path, Megumin carrying Chomusuke in her shirt.

(Y/N): 'Chomusuke, you lucky bastard.'

Suddenly, Megumin turned around.

Megumin: "Now that you know the charms of the Crimson Demon village, allow me to show you even finer splendor!"

Kazuma, (Y/N) & Aqua: "Eh?"

.
.
.

Megumin: "Welcome to our magic academy, The Red Prison!"

(Y/N): 'Cute.'

Yunyun: "W-welcome."

Kazuma: "What are you doing here Yunyun?"

Megumin: "The friendless wonder was lonely, so I invited her."

Yunyun: "I-I was not lonely!"

Megumin: "Why are you denying it? You even dug out your old uniform."

(Y/N): 'So did you. But I won't complain, she looks cute. But she looks cute in anything...and nothing. Alright, enough of that, go to horny jail, brain.'

(Y/N)'s thoughts were broken by the sound of a sliding door and a girl laughing. They all looked over to see three Crimson Demon girls doing poses.

Arue: "I am called Arue...The most voluptuous of the Crimson Demons, and a future author!"

Funifura: "I am called Funifura! The foremost among Crimson Demons that loves her brother, known for her brother complex!"

Dodonko: "I am called Dodonko, the foremost of the Crimson Demons at...at...What was it again?"

Everyone deadpanned.

Kazuma: "So you've got a brother complex."

Funifura: "I just don't have a cool nickname yet!"

Megumin: "Arue, Dodonko, Funikura."

Funifura: "It's Funifura! You did that on purpose!"

Dodonko: "We heard you were back in town."

Aqua: "Who are they?"

Megumin: "Classmates from the magic academy."

Arue: "I'm glad to see that you made it home safely."

(Y/N): "Well damn, I was right."

Everyone was confused, and all attention was on him because of it.

Kazuma: "Right about what?"

(Y/N): "About Crimson Demons."

Funifura: "If you have a problem with the way we introduce ourselves, then-"

(Y/N): "This town is full of cute young girls."

Funifura: "E-eh?

Megumin: "(Y/N)!"

(Y/N): "Hey, I can appreciate beauty."

Arue, Funifura & Dodonko: "E-eh?!"

(Y/N): "Plus, I need to see some actually good looking girls after those *shudder* o-orcs."

Kazuma shuddered at the mere mention.

Megumin: "Jeez, I thought I gave you enough love last night to help you forget a little bit."

Other than Megumin, all Crimson Demons in the room turned bright red at this sentence. Kazuma and Aqua were just used to it by now.

(Y/N): "I appreciate the kissin, don't think that I don't. But that experience is gonna stick with me for my lifetime. And you know I only have eyes for you anyway."

Megumin: "I know, but it's just...I don't like it."

(Y/N): "Well I'm sorry then. I'll be better."

He brushed Megumin's hair off her forehead, and then leaned down and kissed it.

Megumin: "Love you."

(Y/N): "Love you too."

Funifura: "Wh-what's going on here?!"

Megumin: "What, I can't have a nice moment with my boyfriend?"

Megumin wrapped herself around (Y/N)'s arm and gave them a smug smile.

Dodonko: "No way! Megumin was never interested in any romance, and she still has a boyfriend before us?!"

Megumin: "I do. And it isn't just puppy love either. After all, we've slept together, even just last night. We've bathed together, we've even-"

(Y/N) quickly covered her mouth.

(Y/N): "I'd like to keep our private moments private!"

Everyone was awkward now, and changing the subject of conversation was the obvious thing to do.

Funifura: "St-still, I can't believe..."

(Y/N): "Me either, I have to remind myself it's not a dream every so often. But it's not, she's my darlin."

Dodonko: "D-darlin?!"

Arue put her hand over her face, striking a pose.

Arue: "Yes...this is truly fantastic inspiration!"

(Y/N): "Wouldn't be the first person to write about us."

(A/N: Goddammit, I just fixed that wall!)

Dodonko: "A-anyway, you guys must be Yunyun's party members."

Funifura: "I'm surprised you actually exist."

(Y/N): "Actually, we're-"

Yunyun ran in front of them.

Yunyun: "L-let me introduce them! This man is a rookie adventurer, and this girl is an Arch Priest! This man you might have heard of, he's known as the Musical Adventurer! There's also a very durable lady who isn't with us right now! Megumin was lonely on her own, so we invited her recently!"

Arue: "That sounds like a lovely party."

(Y/N): "Yeah, you'd think so."

Aqua: "Yunyun isn't a part of our party, but she helps us out a lot. Despite not being a member."

Megumin: "Yes, despite not being a member."

Yunyun covered her face.

Dodonko & Funifura: "We figured as much."

Aqua: "I've given her the nickname 'Frog Slayer' in my heart."

Kazuma: "What the hell are you talking about?"

Aqua: "Remember when she saved us from those frogs with that sparkly looking spell?"

Dodonko: "Wouldn't that be..."

Arue: "Hm, it was an advanced spell."

Funifura: "Eh?! Yunyun, I thought you could only use intermediate magic?!"

Megumin looked down, just slightly. (Y/N) was incredibly perceptive when it came to her, so he knew something was off instantly.

Funifura: "She picked it up at an awkward time, so she didn't learn advanced magic before we graduated."

Yunyun: "C-come on, it's not like I needed to know it..."

(Y/N)'s wandering thoughts were broken by someone speaking up again.

Dodonko: "But really, to think that Megumin not only knew the Musical Adventurer, but was dating him."

(Y/N): "You guys have heard of me out here?"

Funifura: "Of course. You've played a part in taking down multiple Devil King generals, and I've heard you put on quite a show."

(Y/N): "Aw shucks..."

Dodonko: "You've made quite a name for yourself."

(Y/N): "I still think being called the Harvester of Sorrow is cooler."

Arue, Dodonko, Funifura & Megumin: "I wholeheartedly agree."

Funifura: "I'm surprised that some girl didn't snatch you up before Megumin could."

(Y/N): "Well, I suppose I have recieved one or two marriage proposals recently."

Megumin: "What?!"

(Y/N): "Relax, I'm not gonna accept any. There's only one person I plan to marry."

Dodonko: "You did well to ask him out, Megumin."

(Y/N): "Feelings were mutual, but I was actually the one to initiate."

Dodonko: "That makes sense, you strike me as a smooth kind of guy."

(Y/N): "Th-thanks. Yeah, Megumin isn't my first girlfriend, but I'll be damned if she ain't my last."

Arue: "Such magnificent material!"

Megumin: "Truly. I bet you wish you could have your boyfriend sing you to sleep as he holds you close."

(Y/N) could instantly feel his face start to heat up.

Funifura: "E-eh?! No fair, I really do wish that!"

Megumin: "What about dancing with him til way past sundown?"

Dodonko: "That sounds so nice! Why is life so cruel?!"

Megumin: "What about the morning after an eventful night, he brings you hot tea for your hangover and softly wakes you with a beautiful song?"

Arue: "I need to start writing these down."

(Y/N): "St-stop! I can't take it with such sweet praise!"

Megumin: "Sorry, I'm just rubbing it in their faces a little. Plus, I get to brag about you. Consider it payback for saying such sweet things about me last night."

(Y/N) covered most of his face with his hands, and his hair covered the rest.

Megumin: "Or what about falling asleep under a big tree, leaning against each other? Or holding his hand as you watch the sunset once you wake up? Or giving you a necklace that he hand picked because it meant devotion? Or what about saving you from a flood, even though his most prized possession is lost because of it? Taking you to a fancy restaurant and ordering your food for you because you didn't know anything about steak? Or what about pushing you out of harm's way and taking a death curse in your stead?"

Arue ran and grabbed a piece of paper with a quill and some ink, came back and quickly started jotting things down.

Megumin: "Or what about you two have a fight, and he comes back to your inn room with a bouquet of roses? And once you make up and dance the night away, you fall into bed together, and take each other's-"

(Y/N): "P-please stop! I can't take this anymore!"

Kazuma: 'I knew that son of a bitch got lucky.'

(Y/N) ran out.

Megumin: "No, wait!"

Megumin chased after him. Arue looked over her list of new ideas, and laughed maniacally.

.
.
.
The four were walking down another path, the sun setting once again.

(Y/N): "You ok?"

Megumin: "I could be asking you the same thing. You just walked out like that."

(Y/N): "I asked first."

Megumin: "*sigh* Fine. What brought this up?"

(Y/N): "When they talked about Yunyun only knowing intermediate magic, you looked like you remembered something. You looked kinda blue about it, so I thought I'd ask."

Kazuma: "Yeah, I thought that Crimson Demons were a bunch of OP weirdos that all used advanced magic."

Megumin: "You see..."

Megumin stared off at the sunset.

Megumin: "When I was a student, I stored up my skill points in order to learn explosion. Day after day, I endured it, so that someday I'd be able to learn explosion...But one day..."

Flashback...

Komekko: "Give me back my food!"

Megumin: "Komekko!"

A monster tried to attack Komekko. Megumin raised her shaking hand to her adventurer card, but stopped when a light shone beside her.

Megumin: "To save Komekko when she was attacked by monsters, Yunyun used her points to learn intermediate magic, while I was hesitating..."

Flashback End...

Kazuma: "So she covered for you so you could learn explosion?"

Megumin: "Not that I asked her to...but yes."

(Y/N): "That's a good friend right there."

Aqua: "Well she's a more established mage than you now, so it worked out fine!"

Kazuma: "True enough."

(Y/N): "Don't be mean."

Megumin flailed her arms around as she pouted.

Megumin: "How dare you!"

(Y/N): 'Cute, really cute!'

Suddenly, the sound of an explosion came from behind them. They wasted no time in making it over to the scene.

???: "Just what is with this woman?!"

Goblin 1: "Lady Sylvia, there's no telling what she's after! Please stand back!"

Goblin 2: "She's a real freak! She can't land an attack to save her life, but she's as sturdy as they come!"

Darkness: "As long as there is light in my eyes, you will not pass!"

Kazuma: "Darkness! Good job in holding out! We brought help from the village!"

(Y/N): "And don't call her a freak, she'll just get off on that."

Darkness: "K-Kazuma, you're here already?"

(Y/N): "Oi, don't ignore the rest of us."

Darkness: "I got so upset that there were no male orcs left, so I came out here to see what I could find. But even the Devil King general is a woman! Just what kind of journey is this?!"

Kazuma: "Please just shut your mouth! You're ruining your performance!"

Sylvia: "I see, buying time for your allies to arrive. From your endurance, you must be a fairly high level Crusader. Was missing your attacks part of your act?"

Darkness: "I-I suppose there's no point in keeping up the facade..."

Kazuma stepped forward.

Kazuma: "Look, you're Sylvia, right? That Crusader is an accomplished adventurer, who helped defeat multiple Devil King generals, such as Vanir!"

Sylvia: "Vanir?! I heard that he never returned from the town of Axel...Was that you people's doing?!"

Kazuma: "Yep. My buddy (Y/N) here was the one to finish the job."

Crimson Demons: "Woah, that's awesome!"

Kazuma: "And that's not all. The Dullahan, Verdia. Hans the deadly poison slime. And even the mobile fortress Destroyer. The five of us took em down!"

Sylvia: "Verdia and Hans too?! But when I think about how we lost contact with Hans in Alcanretia...it's plausible. I assume that you're the leader, why don't you tell me your name?"

Kazuma lost all his nerve.

Kazuma: "M-my name?"

He pulled Chunchunmaru from it's sheath.

Kazuma: "It's Mitsurugi. Mitsurugi Kyouya. Remember that."

Megumin: "Someone chickened out."

(Y/N): 'Finally, someone other than me threw that jackass under the bus!'

Sylvia: "So you're Mitsurugi of the Cursed Sword."

(Y/N): 'Frodo of the nine fingers...'

Sylvia: "I never expected to encounter such a powerful party."

Kazuma sheathed Chunchunmaru again.

Kazuma: "Taking you out right here with all these Crimson Demons' help wouldn't count as much of an accomplishment."

Sylvia: "I appreciate that, Mitsurugi."

Kazuma: "Yes, I'm Mitsurugi."

Sylvia: "We'll meet again. When we do, we'll see who comes out on top...RETREAT!"

The goblins and Sylvia ran away, with the Crimson Demons chasing them.

Kazuma: "I should buy Mitsurugi some bubbly the next time I see him."

(Timeskip)

(Y/N) came out of the bathroom, and he saw that he and Yuiyui were the only ones awake again. Or that's what he thought.

Yuiyui: "Komekko, you must go to sleep!"

Komekko: "But whyyyy?!"

(Y/N): "Oh no, this is my fault."

Yuiyui: "Oh, hello (Y/N). How so?"

(Y/N): "Mama's recipes always did have a lot of sugar, especially that pecan pie I made tonight."

Yuiyui: "That would explain why Komekko is still so rambunctious. Not even my Sleep spell can put her to sleep..."

(Y/N): "I have an idea. It worked on Megumin last night. Can I take her out to look at the night sky?"

Yuiyui: "Go ahead."

(Y/N): "Come on Komekko, let's go look at the stars."

Komekko: "Ok!"

Komekko followed him out of the house. He led her up a hill to look over the night sky. When they got to the top, he was still blown away by the number of stars.

(Y/N): "So you're not tired?"

Komekko: "Nope!"

(Y/N): "Not even a little bit?"

Komekko: "Not one bit."

(Y/N): "Well, it's getting pretty late now. How about I help you wind down a little bit?"

Komekko: "How?"

(Y/N): "Come here."

She walked a little bit closer, and laughed as (Y/N) picked her up. He held her with one arm, keeping her at eye level.

(Y/N): "I did this to your big sister, and she fell asleep right away. You think you can stay awake?"

Komekko: "I bet I can!"

(Y/N): "Well let's see then, try counting some stars. If you stay awake the whole time, I'll carry you back home, ok?"

Komekko: "Ok!"

He started to sway Komekko back and forth slightly, both their eyes locked on the dotted navy sky. Komekko could feel the vibration in his chest as he started to softly sing.

(Y/N): "The king of broken hearts doesn't ask much from his friends,
And he has quite a few of them.
They know he will understand.
That's just the way it goes.

The king of broken hearts doesn't know he's a king,
He's trying to forget other things.
Like some old chilly scenes,
He's walking through alone.

He talks to angels and the stars start to spin,
He thinks of troubles that he's gotten in,
He recalls how his heart got broken,
And how it's still that way.

The king of broken hearts is so sad and wise,
He can smile while he's crying inside,
We know he'll be brave tonight,
Cause he's the king of broken hearts.

He talks to angels and the stars start to spin,
He thinks of troubles that he's gotten in,
He recalls how his heart got broken,
And how it's still that way.

The king of broken hearts thinks that he's no fool,
He's a little bit like me and you.
So what's a king like that supposed to do,
With all that blue time.
We know he'll be brave tonight,
Cause he's the king of broken hearts,
He's the king of broken hearts."

He finished and looked at Komekko. She was still awake, but noticeably more tired. She let out a little yawn.

(Y/N): "Well, I'm impressed, you stayed awake the whole time. Looks like I've got some carrying to do. You ready to head back home?"

Komekko: "*Yawn*...Yeah."

She rested her head on his shoulder as he carried her down the hill and back towards the house. He felt her breathing deepen and heard her start to softly snore, and knew that he'd done well. He walked into the house, and handed the sleeping Komekko over to Yuiyui.

Yuiyui: "H-how?"

(Y/N): "The stars and a little music does wonders."

Yuiyui: "Thank you, truly."

(Y/N): "It's no problem. Now about sleeping arrangements tonight..."

.
.
.

(Y/N) heard Yuiyui lock the door behind him once again.

(Y/N): "Yeah, I should've seen that coming."

(Y/N) slipped into the futon beside Megumin, this time more confident. She started to wake up not soon after.

Megumin: "Hello (Y/N)."

(Y/N): "Hello darlin."

Megumin: "I have to be honest, I'm surprised my parents let you sleep with me here."

(Y/N): "Right? It wasn't my choice anyway."

Megumin: "Huh?"

(Y/N): "I would've slept away from you, out of respect you know. But your mom locked me in here again."

Megumin: "She did?! Wait, again?!"

(Y/N): "Yeah, that's how I was here last night too."

Megumin: "Honestly, that woman..."

(Y/N): "I've got to thank her, though. I hate to be away from you."

Megumin: "M-me too."

She quickly tried to change the subject, and then she remembered how (Y/N) had reacted at the magic academy.

Megumin: "What happened to you at the Red Prison?"

(Y/N): "What do you mean?"

Megumin: "You got so embarrassed that you turned red and ran away. You've never done that before. It was really cute, to be honest."

(Y/N): "Well apparently I have a reputation. And when you said all that stuff, it made me look like a softie."

Megumin: "But you are a softie."

(Y/N) stood up out of the futon, and knocked on the door.

(Y/N): "Yuiyui, can I sleep in the living room?"

Megumin: "(Y/N), wait! Let me explain!"

(Y/N) slowly walked back over and sat beside the futon. Megumin sat up to face him.

(Y/N): "...Please explain then."

Megumin: "I mean that you're a softie when it comes to me, just as I am with you. That doesn't mean that you're weak, you're most definitely not weak."

(Y/N): "...Alright that's true, but only when it comes to you. And Chomusuke. And Komekko. Goddammit I'm a softie!"

Megumin wrapped her arms around (Y/N)'s stomach, and buried her face in his chest.

Megumin: "That's alright if you are, I'll love you no matter what. And besides, it's much more comfortable to cuddle with something soft."

(Y/N): "A-alright, you've convinced me."

(Y/N) crawled back in the futon and held Megumin close. She gave a satisfied sigh.

Megumin: "These moments are my favorite."

(Y/N): "How come?"

Megumin: "Grand gestures are always nice, but it's just like they say, it's the little things. Things could come up, and interrupt a big date of ours, but I'd be alright. I'm always willing to stay home and just snuggle together."

(Y/N): "Yeah, I get what you mean."

(Y/N) observed the moonlight pouring in from the window, and let his mind wander.

(Y/N): "I swear, you Crimson Demon girls are suckers for music."

Megumin: "Huh? What do you mean?"

(Y/N): "Before I came in here, I had just gotten out of the tub. That pie that I fixed tonight had too much sugar in it for Komekko, she was still buck wild. So I took her up on top of the hill and we watched the stars. I held her and sang her something, some King George knocked her right out."

Megumin: "Aww! That's so sweet!"

(Y/N): "Th-thanks."

Megumin: "But we're not suckers for music, we're suckers for you."

(Y/N): "F-for me?"

Megumin: "You scream your lungs out on stage back home, but when you want it to, your voice can be really tender. And it's not too deep, but it's not high pitched either. It's just like...smooth honey, but in the form of sound."

(Y/N): "Th-that...That may be the best compliment I've ever recieved."

Megumin: "Really?"

(Y/N): "Yeah, I'm gonna be saving that one in my mind for a rainy day."

He was being entirely honest. The sheer joy in his heart right now was only trumped by every time Megumin told him she loved him.

(Y/N): 'It's been overused, but...I truly wish this moment could last forever.'

Megumin: "Hey (Y/N)?"

(Y/N): "What is it darlin?"

Megumin: "I-I'm not feeling very sleepy...Do you think you could sing again?"

(Y/N): "You're a spoiled brat, you know that?"

He smiled down at her, earning a giggle from her. He faked a sigh.

(Y/N): "Oh well, you're my brat."

Her eyes lit up, and he felt her heart beat faster as he began to sing.

(Y/N): "I text a postcard sent to you,
Did it go through?
Sending all my love to you.

You are the moonlight of my life
Every night.
Giving all my love to you.

My beating heart belongs to you.
I walked for miles til I found you.
I'm here to honor you, If I lose everything in the fire,
I'm sending all my love to you.

With every breath that I am worth,
Here on earth
I'm sending all my love-"

Loudspeaker: "DEVIL KING ARMY ALERT! DEVIL KING ARMY ALERT! THEY'VE ALREADY BREACHED THE VILLAGE!"

Megumin: "You've got to be kidding."

.
.
.

Megumin came bounding out towards the threat, swinging her staff.

Megumin: "RRRRRRAAAAAHH!"

Sylvia: "EEK!"

Megumin: "YOU JUST HAD TO INTERRUPT WHEN EVERYTHING WAS SET UP SO NICE! DO YOU EVER THINK OF THE TROUBLE YOU CAUSE OTHER PEOPLE?!"

Sylvia: "I'm sorry- Wait, no! I didn't think I'd run into you out here!"

(Y/N) came around the corner bright red, holding Amelia.

Sylvia: "Oh, dear. Did I interrupt something?"

(Y/N): "I-it's not what you think!"

Megumin: "Hell yeah you did! I'll show you!"

She was so mad that she didn't even think about explosion magic. Megumin ran at Sylvia and swung her staff at her. Sylvia caught the swing and sent her staff, as well as Megumin flying back towards (Y/N). She bounced off the ground a a few times before (Y/N) caught her.

(Y/N): "Megumin!"

He held Megumin up off the ground. He then looked to Sylvia, and drew his sword.

(Y/N): "You bitch!"

(Y/N) sent his sword rocketing towards Sylvia, who caught it in between two fingers. Just like Megumin's staff, she threw it back at the two. It was about to pierce Megumin, who had no way of moving out of the way, when (Y/N) crouched in front of her, taking the sword for her. It pierced through his lower back, but didn't run him all the way through.

(Y/N): "Sh-shit!"

Megumin: "(Y/N)!"

(Y/N): "I'll be ok! Are you hurt?"

Sylvia: "My my, how poetic. The boy saves his lover, but he's killed in the process. What a cruel twist of fate!"

Megumin: "(Y/N)! Please, stay with me!"

Aqua: "Do you guys have any idea what time it is?"

Megumin: "Aqua, it's the Devil King general! We need healing magic over here!"

Aqua quickly woke up fully, and rushed over to the two as Darkness and Kazuma came running.

Megumin: "Heal (Y/N), he-"

(Y/N): "No, heal Megumin first. Make sure nothing is broken."

Aqua: "(Y/N), you have a sword sticking out of your back!"

(Y/N): "I can hold out, she only got me in the side of my back! She may be strong, but she's got horrible fuckin aim, cause she missed literally every vital organ. Plus, the sword is lodged in place, so I'm barely losing blood."

Aqua: "A-alright!"

She quickly healed the damage done to Megumin, who stood up and stood tall in front of (Y/N). She was prepared to be his shield like he'd been for her. Kazuma, who hadn't seen her throw Megumin, ran towards Sylvia. He was intent on buying Aqua and (Y/N) time.

Kazuma: "In the name of true gender equality, I'll dole out a dropkick any rotten woman who deserves one! Don't expect mercy cause you're hot!"

He swung Chunchunmaru at Sylvia, and she caught it between two fingers just like (Y/N)'s sword.

Sylvia: "Are you really Mitsurugi Kyouya? You mean to tell me that this puny thing is the Cursed Sword Gram?"

(Y/N) & Megumin: "Chunchunmaru."

Despite immense pain, (Y/N) still managed to speak in perfect unison with Megumin.

Sylvia: "What did you say?"

Megumin: "This sword is called Chunchunmaru! Don't compare it to some sword no one's heard of like Gram!"

Sylvia threw her head back and laughed.

Sylvia: "You're not really Mitsurugi!"

Kazuma: "My name is Satou Kazuma! I thought that if you knew my name, you'd put a bounty on my head or something!"

Sylvia: "I think I like you!"

Darkness: "You! The people of this house have gone to gather the other Crimson Demons! Surrender now!"

Instead of surrendering, Sylvia pulled Kazuma's face into her cleavage, sending Chunchunmaru to the ground. Kazuma started flailing his arms around as he was suffocated in the most satisfying way.

Sylvia: "Settle down now."

Kazuma: 'Thank you very- Wait! This is a trap! And (Y/N) is badly injured, this is no time to be thinking of such things!'

Aqua's healing was starting to take effect, all she needed now was to remove the sword.

Aqua: "You might feel a small pinch."

(Y/N): "...GAAAAHH!"

Aqua pulled (Y/N)'s sword out of his back, and quickly got to work closing the wound.

Aqua: "Are you ok?"

(Y/N): "Tis but a fleshwound."

Aqua: "(Y/N), I'm serious!"

(Y/N): "Yeah, I'm fine. The healing worked, I'm in shape to fight again."

Hearing that (Y/N) had recovered, Kazuma's resistance started to dwindle.

Kazuma: 'Even if (Y/N) is fine now, she's still a Devil King General! I'm trapped in the boobs of a curvy boss with soft skin and a big round ass THANK YOU GOD!'

Megumin: "Kazuma, I'll save you!"

(Y/N): "Don't, you'll blow him and your house to high hell too!"

Sylvia: "I'm taking this boy as a hostage."

Darkness: "Wait! If you need a hostage, take me!"

Kazuma had stopped resisting entirely, facedown in Sylvia's breasts breathing deeply.

Sylvia: "You're a naughty one, aren't you?"

Kazuma: 'This is it. This is the life I've always wanted. After being beat up and dying so many times, it's so nice to just relax between two magnificent pillows.'

Sylvia: "Now sweetie, stop breathing so heavy. You're heating me all up!"

Aqua: "Sacred Exorcism!"

Sylvia screamed in agony and dropped Kazuma as Aqua's spell enveloped her.

Sylvia: "A sneak attack, huh? Well I've got bad news for you. I'm only part demon, this won't be enough to kill me! I am called Sylvia! Chief of the Enhanced Monster Development Bureau, she who has synthesized and modified her own body! Yes, Sylvia the Growth Chimera!"

(Y/N): 'I'm not sure whether to make a Pumpkins reference, or a Fullmetal Alchemist reference...I'll avoid the Fullmetal Alchemist, I'm still fucked up after Nina Tucker.'

Sylvia: "And I'm taking this boy with me! Let's become one again!"

Tentacles came from Sylvia's back and towards Kazuma. He stood up and opened his arms, welcoming them. They wrapped around his midsection and pulled him back into his place at her chest.

Megumin: "Did...Did he just let himself be taken?"

Kazuma: "Totally not."

(Y/N): "He totally did, but I won't stop him. You don't get between a bro and some action."

Darkness: "(Y/N), she's a Devil King General!"

(Y/N): "The power of the bro-code far outweighs any alliance in war, whether good or evil!"

Darkness ran forward and brandished her sword.

Darkness: "I'll get you out of there Kazuma!"

Kazuma: "Please don't."

Darkness: "Eh?"

Kazuma: "You guys have been kind of taking me for granted lately."

He keep pushing his head back into Sylvia's boobs.

Kazuma: "You see Sylvia...She actually appreciates me. It's enough to...make me defect to the Devil King army. So apologize! It's about time I got an apology, since I try so hard for you all."

(Y/N): "Alright, fuck the bro-code, get down here and fight me."

Kazuma: "...It's about time I got an apology from everyone but (Y/N)!"

(Y/N): "That's more like it."

Darkness: "E-enough with the jokes Kazuma. It's like we always tell (Y/N), there's a time and place for these things."

(Y/N): "Oi blondie, I'll fight you too!"

Darkness: "I-it's true that you have accomplished quite a few feats. When we get back to Axel, I'll talk to my father about giving you a medal..."

Kazuma: "I don't want a medal, I want sincerity! Stop trying to buy me off! Just look at what's happening here. Miss Sylvia of the Devil King army is giving me the billowy pillowy treatment! Darkness! What's you're greatest strength? Go on, spit it out!"

Darkness: "M-my defensive strength?"

Kazuma: "No freaking way! You're only strength is your needlessly seductive body that drops men to their knees! How are you so oblivious?!"

Darkness blushed and covered herself.

Darkness: "I do not seduce anybody!"

Kazuma: "Are you blind?! Your body is luscious, for no damn reason! You don't realize it, but my luck Stat is kicking into overdrive! Now apologize, before I waltz off with Sylvia!"

Sylvia started to pet Kazuma's head.

Sylvia: "You are just delightful! But don't be so harsh on the ladies, ok? I'll have to teach you how to understand women better."

Darkness: "A demon like you knows nothing about human women!"

Sylvia: "Now that's just not true, I know lots about women and men. After all, I'm part man myself."

Kazuma: ".....Say what?"

Sylvia: "Oh, you didn't hear me? I'm a Chimera, even these boobs you're so fond of are something I added on to myself."

Megumin: "K-Kazuma, stay calm...D-don't panic! Don't panic..."

(Y/N) would've had a snarky remark, but he was too busy holding in laughter.

Sylvia: "You're really a fine man though. Even just holding you like this makes my breasts and lower body feel all tingly~"

Kazuma: "Sylvia, Sylvia! Why do I feel something pressing into my butt?"

Sylvia closed her eyes, and slightly blushed as she placed her hand on her cheek. When she opened her eyes again, they were glowing, and she gave Kazuma a menacing smile.

Sylvia: "Because something is!"

Everyone looked horrified, except for (Y/N). He'd already hit the ground, wheezing in a fit of laughter.

Kazuma: "...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

.
.
.

Kazuma: "Oi, cut that out! Get your dick off of me! You wanna die?!"

Sylvia: "Settle down!"

They had arrived at Sylvia's destination, the mysterious facility. Her tentacles sat Kazuma down on the ground.

Sylvia: "You don't have to worry, I'm not going to try anything. I managed to shake the others off my tail, so you're free to go."

Kazuma: "...Where did you take me?"

Sylvia: "This is the Crimson Demon village's underground storage facility. My objective is to find the ancient magic weapon hidden here."

Kazuma: "Magic weapon?"

Sylvia started to walk forward.

Sylvia: "...The Mage Killer. It can neutralize any magic, making it the perfect counter to Crimson Demons."

Kazuma: "Something like that is down here?"

Sylvia: "I've finally gotten this close."

She put a batarang thing to the door at the end of the room, which started to glow purple. It made a humming noise as the light died entirely.

Sylvia: "Huh? The barrier breaker isn't working? It isn't sealed with magic?"

Kazuma walked forward to observe, and something to the side caught his eye.

Kazuma: "Are those...Controller inputs?"

Sylvia: "You can read that ancient text?!"

Kazuma: "Nah, I'm pretty sure they just used a cheat code as the password-"

Kazuma quickly covered his mouth to avoid spilling anything else.

Sylvia: "You're even better than I thought!"

Kazuma: "I'm still an adventurer! Don't expect me to give in easily!"

Sylvia: "There's more to getting someone to talk than threats and violence, you know."

She licked her hand.

Sylvia: "You'll find that my technique is on par with a succubus. I wonder how much ecstasy you'll be able to-"

Kazuma: "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, there you go!"

The room started to glow a faint blue as the door slowly came open.

Sylvia: "...Do the things you do not bother you? It doesn't matter anymore anyways, the weapon is mine."

Sylvia started to descend the stairs.

Kazuma: 'Crap. I got so anxious that I put the password in. But still...'

Sylvia: "It's so dark down here, I can't see a thing."

Kazuma: 'I think she's underestimating me because I don't have a weapon.'

Sylvia: "Hey, do you have anything I could use as a light-"

Instead of the light she'd hoped for, Sylvia got a push to the back, sending her tumbling down the stairs.

Sylvia: "What do you think you're-"

Kazuma: "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, and away you go!"

Sylvia: "Hey wait! Wait! I SAID WAIT, DAMMIT!"

The door closed on Sylvia before she could reach the top of the stairs. Soon after, the party, along with a couple other Crimson Demons, came into the facility and met Kazuma.

(Y/N): "Kazuma, did you get pegged yet?!"

Kazuma: "Hell no!"

Darkness: "Where's Sylvia?!"

Kazuma: "I managed to trap her in here with a little bit of skillful deceit. Give it a month or so, and she's bound to quiet down."

They could hear the faint sounds of Sylvia banging on the door and screaming.

Darkness: "A Devil King general...killed by starvation?"

Bukkororii: "Well done outsider! You managed to capture Sylvia after she evaded us every time!"

(Y/M): 'DISCONNECT AND SELF DESTRUCT, ONE BULLET AT A TIME! How did I only just now think of that reference?'

Aqua: "Hey, isn't there some kind of scary weapon locked in here?"

Bukkororii: "Not even we could figure out how to use it, it'll be fine."

Crimson Demon: "If Sylvia can figure out that weapon, the I'll do a handstand and run a lap around the village!"

Kazuma: "Hold on, don't set any flags!"

Aqua: "What are you worried about, Kazuma? You defeated a Devil King General! You basically did it by yourself this time, but since we're a party, we'll split the reward right? I wonder what I should buy first once we get back to Axel?"

Aqua fell to the floor as the whole facility began to quake.

Kazuma: "Why do you do this every damn time?! Come on, we have to get out of here!"

Everyone ran out of the facility as orange glowing lines started to appear on the building. They got out, but could only run so far before the facility exploded. The Shockwave knocked everyone to the ground.

Sylvia: "Did you think I would just take the weapon with me? I can assimilate anything into my body, be it weapons or otherwise!"

Sylvia raised out of the smoke and dust to reveal her new form. She was the same from the waist up, but she had a colossal serpentine body where her legs had been.

Sylvia: "I am Sylvia! The Growth Chimera that has obtained the ultimate power!"

The ground under her cracked as she whipped her tail.

(Y/N): "Look at This Spiteful Snake!"

Megumin: "That's the Mage Killer! We need to run, quickly!"

Crimson Demon: "Abandon the village, it's doomed!"

She said as she ran away doing a handstand. Sylvia looked towards Kazuma.

Sylvia: "We've had our ups and downs, but I've only got this power because of you. I'll spare you. You can stand and watch as I smear this eyesore of a village of the map!"

Sylvia quickly left, kicking up dust as she went. She turned a corner and smashed into an unfortunate house, before coiling herself around a tower in the center of town.

Crimson Demon 1: "Hey look!"

Crimson Demon 2: "Isn't that the legendary Mage Killer?!"

Sylvia: "It's time for some well deserved payback!"

Sylvia continued to wreak havoc as she breathed fire down on the village. Watching above from the safety of a cliff was a band of Crimson Demons.

Village Chief: "I never thought the seal would be broken..."

The party quickly ran to them.

Kazuma: "Village Chief!"

Village Chief: "Oh, our guests! It's a shame that this happened while you were visiting."

Kazuma: 'I'm so sorry. It's me who let that thing out in the first place.'

They watched the chaos with glossy eyes.

Arue: "The village is burning..."

(Y/N): "We can't just sit and watch! There's gotta be something we can do!"

Arue: "The Mage Killer does have...a secret countermeasure!"

Village Chief: "There are ruins with ancient text that no one has been able to decipher..."

Kazuma: "There are?! Let's go to them now!"

Before anyone could take action, Sylvia fired off a concentrated blast of fire, setting a trail ablaze.

Megumin: "What did she hit?!"

Kazuma: "That was near your house!"

(Y/N): "Komekko!"

Without hesitation, (Y/N) jumped over the ledge and started to slide down. Once he reached the bottom, he took off into a dead sprint.

Megumin: "D-Darkness! Can you go with (Y/N) to back him up?!"

Darkness: "Of course! It's a knight's duty after all! Take Kazuma and the others to the ruins!"

Kazuma: "Let's hurry! It's do or die now!"

Village Chief: "Do or die, huh? For outsiders you sure understand our culture!"

Arue: "Not bad. If anything, we work better in situations like this."

Crimson Demon 1: "Yeah! Let's show her what we can do to protect our village!"

Crimson Demons: "Yeah!"

Kazuma: 'I think that this is the kind of disaster that they look forward to.'

Aqua: "Sorry for interrupting during your big speeches, but I really don't like any part of this! My job is to provide support from a distance, and to-"

Kazuma clotheslined her and started dragging her towards the ruin.

Kazuma: "Stop whining and move! You're a part of this party too!"

The party split, Kazuma, Aqua and Megumin running towards the ruins, and Darkness making her way down the mountain to catch up with (Y/N).

.
.
.

At the speed he was running, it didn't take long for (Y/N) to reach the house. It was dangerously close to bursting into flames.

(Y/N): "No, no, no!"

He slammed the door to the side and ran inside. He frantically searched for Komekko, nor finding her anywhere he looked.

(Y/N): "Komekko! Where are you?!"

Komekko: "Over here!"

He mentally prepared himself for whatever he was about to see. Turns out that she was fine, she was sitting on the back porch where they'd been eating since they came here. She pointed to the approaching fire.

Komekko: "Look!"

She watched the fire and laughed. Although an intense wave of relief had just washed over him, (Y/N) sweatdropped at the fact that she had no fear of the fire. He quickly scooped her up and put her on his shoulders.

(Y/N): "Come on, let's get you to somewhere safe!"

By the time that Darkness had met him, he was already halfway back to the cliff. He carried Komekko on his shoulders, who had already put his hair in pigtails.

Darkness: "Thank goodness she's alright!"

(Y/N): "Yeah, but she has like, zero fear when it comes to flames! I had to pick her up to get her out!"

He lifted her over his head, and handed her to Darkness.

(Y/N): "Take her somewhere safe! I'm gonna back up the Crimson Demons!"

Darkness: "The pigtails are a nice look for you."

(Y/N): "Sh-shut up! Practice what you preach, Lalatina!"

He quickly took off into a sprint again, this time towards the center of the village.

Darkness: "Hey!"

(Y/N): "Time and place, my ass!"

.
.
.

Vanir and Wiz were walking into the Crimson Demon village.

Wiz: "Don't worry, Vanir. I know a skilled craftsman here who can make exactly what you need!"

Vanir: "Coming from you, your confidence worries me."

Wiz: "It'll be fine! He's very skill- FUEEEHHHH?!"

They finally saw the inferno that the village had become.

.
.
.

Megumin had led Kazuma and Aqua to the ruins. Right now, Kazuma was staring at a chiseled image of two catgirls.

Kazuma: "Seriously, this is screwed up."

Megumin peered around the giant stone.

Megumin: "Kazuma, this way!"

He followed her to see something on the other side of the stone that he thought he'd never see here.

Kazuma: "No way...This is Japanese."

Megumin: "Japa...What?"

Kazuma: "D-don't worry about it!"

Aqua started to read the inscription aloud.

Aqua: "I now leave this record of what has transpired. One day, the king trampled into my paradise, and demanded a weapon that could kill the Devil King..."

Kazuma covered Megumin's ears as Aqua read about how the 'weapon' he created was the Crimson Demons themselves, and how they were just modified humans. Also about how he created the Mage Killer, and he created a counter for it. To top it all off, this was the same idiot who'd built the Destroyer.

Kazuma: "What the hell do you mean, Railgun (TBD)?!"

Aqua: "I feel like...I should apologize..."

Kazuma grabbed Aqua shoulders and started to shake her.

Kazuma: "Quit sending dumbasses into this world! Between the Mage Killer and the Destroyer, do you realize how much this guy screwed up?!"

Megumin: "What did it say?!"

Kazuma: "They took a lethal weapon and used it for laundry! Is there something wrong with Crimson Demons?!"

.
.
.

At the center of the village, Sylvia was only fueling the fire more.

Sylvia: "Burn, burn! Let this village of lunatics become nothing but ash!"

Sylvia's goblins came running to praise her.

Little Goblin: "Lady Sylvia! You look incredible!"

Goblin 2: "So cool!"

Goblin 3: "Stylish!"

Sylvia: "You boys..."

She wiped a small tear from her eye.

Sylvia: "I'm sorry you all had it so hard. The only reason I've gotten this far is because of all of you! Thank you! You're the best army anyone could ask for!"

The goblins cheered and started to chant her name.

Little Goblin: "We'll follow wherever you lead!"

Village Chief: "This ends here!"

Through a blaze of glory and bravery, the Crimson Demons appeared, eyes glowing through the smoke and flames.

Village Chief: "I am called Hiropon! Chief of this village, and he who leads the Crimson Demons!"

Pucchin: "I am called Pucchin! The foremost educator of the Crimson Demons, and he who will one day be headmaster!"

Shikobei: "I am called Shikobei! The foremost fisherman of the Crimson Demons, and he who will one day catch a kraken!"

Chakamiya: "I am called Chakamiya! Owner of the foremost bakery among the Crimson Demons, and a master of yeast!"

Crimson Demon 5: "I am called-"

Crimson Demon 6: "I am called-"

Crimson Demon 7: "I am called-"

Crimson Demons: "Burning Flash!"

They all put their hands together and casted a spell. A huge tornado of magic enveloped and ripped away at the goblins. But as the dust cleared, Sylvia and her army still stood.

Pucchin: "It seems..."

Village Chief: "...This won't be that easy!"

Funifura and Dodonko came running to the rest of the Crimson Demons.

Funifura: "You didn't even get rid of the goblins!"

Sylvia: "This magic weapon...is magnificent! The Crimson Demons will be destroyed by the very power the safeguarded! Now despair...Ancient Dispel!"

As the large scales along Sylvia's back began to light up, it was clear that she was planning something. A giant blue dome of magic grew rapidly, encasing everyone. It quickly broke away, but nothing seemed to have changed.

Crimson Demon 8: "What the heck did she do?"

Crimson Demon 9: "Don't quit now! Light her up!"

Funifura: "Diabolic flames, run wild! Inferno!"

She held her hands out, but no spell came.

Funifura: "Eh?"

Crimson Demon 10: "Our magic!"

Crimson Demon 11: "It's not casting!"

Pucchin: "We can't teleport either!"

Village Chief: "This is bad! Run for it!"

Crimson Demon 12: "We can't take on the Mage Killer after all!"

Little Goblin: "The Crimson Demons are just oafs without their magic!"

Goblin 4: "We've got this in the bag!"

The goblins were about to give chase, when a spire of lightning screamed through the air, striking Sylvia. It wasn't enough to hurt her badly, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

(Y/N): "That may be the biggest bolt I've ever shot. Congratulations, your my thousandth customer!"

The Crimson Demons rushed past (Y/N), who was already holding Amelia aimed at Sylvia.

Sylvia: "You again!"

(Y/N): "I have a name, you know."

Sylvia: "Oh really?"

(Y/N): "Yeah, it's up your ass and around the corner."

Little Goblin: "You dare talk to Lady Sylvia like that?!"

(Y/N): "You're feisty, I like you. I'll kill you last."

Sylvia: "I've had just about enough of your insolence! How did you even cast that lightning?!"

He tapped Amelia's pickguard.

(Y/N): "Oh please, you think your rinky dink spell can nullify lightning from the gods?"

Sylvia: "Lightning from the gods?! You're bluffing!"

(Y/N): "You wanna find out?"

Little Goblin: "Enough! Kill him!"

The goblins made a mad dash towards (Y/N), who simply flipped the looper on and strapped Amelia to his back.

He drew his sword, already covered in glowing pillars of lightning. As the goblins prepared to duel, he shot lightning off the blade, catching them off guard. He took advantage of their confusion by sprinting forward and running a few goblins through. He picked up a smaller goblin and threw him into one of his bigger friends before shooting lightning into the both of them. All the while punching and kicking through the horde.

Sylvia: "Enough of this! Chase the Crimson Demons, I'll deal with the nuisance!"

The goblins quickly fled from (Y/N) and gave chase to the Crimson Demons. But before that one little goblin could get away, (Y/N) grabbed him by the head.

(Y/N): "Remember when I said I'd kill you last?"

Little Goblin: "U-uh huh!"

(Y/N): "I lied."

(Y/N) stabbed the goblin in the chest before dropping him and leaving him to burn.

Sylvia: "Your fight is with me now!"

(Y/N) took a fighting stance with his sword before sheathing it, and scratching the back of his neck.

(Y/N): "I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid enough to stick around here. You just tanked lightning from the gods. Yeah, I'm getting the fuck outta dodge."

(Y/N) then slowly turned his back to Sylvia before breaking out into a full speed sprint once again. She sat flabbergasted for a moment before chasing after him.

Sylvia: "YOU!"

.
.
.

Dodonko: "Hurry!"

Funifura: "Hey, slow down!"

Funifura's foot caught on a rock as she was running, and before she knew it, Sylvia and the goblins were right on top of her.

(Y/N): "I know what goblins do to girls like that! Agh, it's gonna kill my conscience if I don't do something!"

(Y/N) ran back and jumped over Funifura, putting himself between her and the goblins.

Sylvia: "Oh how brave. I'm really getting tired of it!"

Up on the cliff, the party, Megumin and her family watched the scene unfold.

Megumin: "I swear, his heart is too pure for his own good..."

Hyoizaburo: "He's gonna get himself killed!"

Megumin: "He won't, he'll find a way out! I'm sure of it! B-but please, hurry up Kazuma!"

Sylvia: "How unlucky. Maybe it you were cute boys, I'd spare you."

(Y/N): "What, I'm not a cute boy?"

Sylvia: "You're nothing but a pest under my shoe!"

(Y/N): "But you don't have shoes. Did you ever think about that?"

Sylvia: "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! YOU'VE MADE A MOCKERY OF US MORE IN ONE NIGHT THAN THE ENTIRE TIME WITH CRIMSON DEMONS!"

Yunyun: "Light Of Saber!"

In one swift swing, Yunyun used Light Of Saber to cut a giant piece of the cliff face off. It broke off, and plummeted down, crumbling and crushing the goblins.

Yunyun: "You've done enough, Devil King general Sylvia!"

As the dust was quickly swept away by the wind, Yunyun was revealed standing atop the cliff.

Crimson Demon 13: "That's the chiefs daughter!"

Funifura: "Yunyun?!"

Dodonko: "Idiot! What are you doing?!"

Yunyun: "I can't just leave my friends!"

Dodonko & Funifura: "Yunyun..."

(Y/N): 'That's the first time she said friends with actual conviction behind it! I'm so proud!'

Yunyun flipped her cape, which blew behind her in the wind.

Yunyun: "I am Yunyun! Arch Wizard and wielder of advanced magic! The foremost mage among the Crimson Demons, and the future leader of this village!"

Her eyes started to glow as a small explosion came from behind her. Her father was bawling.

Village Chief: "My daughter! She used to act so embarrassed about giving her introduction, and just look at her now!"

Pucchin: "That's my student! I taught her!"

Crimson Demon 14: "Yunyun!"

Crimson Demon 15: "You can do it!"

Crimson Demons: "Yunyun! Yunyun! Yunyun!"

Yunyun: "Sylvia, I challenge you to a duel! If you want to destroy this village, then you have to get through me first!"

Sylvia: "How cute. But I actually hate cute young things like you!"

Sylvia quickly scaled the mountainside.

Yunyun: "My crimson eyes will overlook no evil!"

Yunyun started to run away, with Sylvia gaining on her.

Dodonko & Funifura: "Yunyun!"

Yunyun: "For that is my Crimson Destiny!"

(Y/N): "Take care of yourselves, I have to go!"

Funifura: "Where are you gonna go?!"

In (Y/N)'s mind, pictures of female orcs started to appear. Then the image of Yunyun stepping in to save him and Kazuma.

(Y/N): "...I've got a debt to repay!"

He took off running, and once he got a ways ahead of Yunyun and Sylvia, started to scale the mountainside. Up top, layed on the ground, aiming the rifle's scope right at Sylvia's chest. Aqua kept loading the rifle with magic.

Kazuma: "We made it in time! It's time to end this!"

Cheekera: "And I thought it was just a regular clothes drying pole.

Kazuma: "Sylvia, it's been fun...but this is the end! Snipe"

He pulled the trigger, and clicked. Nothing fired from the barrel.

Kazuma: "What the hell?! This thing's broken!"

Darkness: "Here, let me see. With things like these, if you just smack it around a bit..."

Darkness walked over and started to repeatedly bash the rifle. Kazuma quickly grabbed her wrists to stop her.

Kazuma: "What the hell is your problem?!"

Darkness: "I need to hit it!"

Aqua: "Hey, I charged that thing with plenty of magic! What gives?!"

Darkness: "We need to hit it!"

Kazuma: "Shut up! We've gotta help Yunyun before she gets into serious trouble!"

Megumin: "Hahaha! And the star arrives!"

Yunyun: "F-forgive me! Forget I said anything!"

Sylvia: "Not happening!"

Out of nowhere, (Y/N) picked up Yunyun and started running with her.

Yunyun: "(Y/N)?!"

(Y/N): "You looked tired!"

Yunyun: "How do we outrun her?!"

(Y/N): "Don't worry, it's not the first time I've run from a woman! And definitely not the last!"

Megumin: "I am called Megumin! I am supreme and almighty in my dominion! She who calls down the power of the very heavens themselves!"

Yuiyui: "Stop using that joke magic! You're old enough to know better!"

Megumin: "It comes! It comes! The hordes of flames...Now display your force, by my command! Explosion!"

Instead of going forward, the mana from Megumin's attack went backwards.

Megumin: "Eh?!"

All of Megumin's spell was compressed and forced into the rifle. Aqua picked up Komekko.

Aqua: "As a goddess, I have an obligation to protect Komekko's young life, so I'm gonna skedaddle."

Komekko: "Hey, it's glowing now!"

Everyone looked to the rifle. There on the stock was a glowing bar that said 'FULL'.

Kazuma: "It wasn't broken after all! It just didn't have enough magic power!"

Sylvia: "Seems like you've got some scheme in mind."

Kazuma: "Sylvia! Remember my name! And once you get to the other side, tell your buddies that I said hi! I am Sa-"

Komekko: "Boom!"

Komekko reached out and pulled the trigger, taking Kazuma's glory. The shot went straight through Sylvia's stomach.

Sylvia: "Wh-wha...A-am I...done?"

Sylvia fell to the ground in a fiery explosion. Komekko walked out in front of it and flipped her cape, facing the group.

Komekko: "I am called Komekko! The foremost lovable little sister among the Crimson Demons! And she who is stronger than a Devil King general!"

Everyone deadpanned, but still smiled. They heard clapping from behind them, and turned to see (Y/N) with Yunyun following behind him.

(Y/N): "Good job Komekko! You showed her who's boss!"

Everyone: "(Y/N), Yunyun!"

(Y/N) walked to Megumin and picked her up. He could've used Drain Touch, but he knew she'd like this more.

Megumin: "Are you alright?!"

(Y/N): "I just got to fuck with a Devil King general, I've never been better!"

Kazuma: "Wh-Wha...What's with the pigtails?"

(Y/N) immediately patted the sides of his head, and went red when he realized that the pigtails were still there, and had been there while he'd fought and rescued. He didn't even bother to take them out, he just crouched and the ground and rested his head on his knees. Megumin crouched beside him and rubbed his back.

Hyoizaburo: "So this is my son-in-law..."

.
.
.

Sylvia walked through a heavy fog, in a place unknown to her. 

Sylvia: "Where...am I? What happened to me?"

She reached a wide river, and could hear someone laughing on the other side. 

???: "Hey! Hey!"

On the other side of the river stood Verdia and Hans, swaying uncomfortably.

Verdia: "Come join us!" 

Hans: "I'm all clean now..." 

Sylvia: "Verdia and Hans?! No, is this place-"

Sylvia looked down to see that she was already waist deep in the water. She frantically tried to tread the water, but Verdia and Hans appeared and started to pull her down.

Verdia: "Come on. Come with us, and we can all hang out like we used to."

Hans: "Soap, detergent, soap, detergent, soap, detergent..."

Sylvia: "No! I don't want this! I don't wanna go to the other side!"

Verdia's hand shot up out of the water and grabbed her head, baptizing her in despair.

Verdia: "Come...with us..."

They slowly sank to the murky depths.

.
.
.

Aqua: "That was a brutal battle. I swear to never hurt anyone ever again."

Kazuma: "Oi, don't set up any flags!"

On cue, the ground started to rumble as Sylvia's body began to rise.

Sylvia: "Life..."

It began to expand, revealing the mutant poison slime. 

Verdia: "Join us...Come with us!"

Verdia's head was attached to a tendril of slime. 

Hans: "I'm all clean now!"

From the mouth of the slime, Sylvia was reborn.

Sylvia: "Life!"

Everyone panicked and started to cower in fear.

Megumin: "What is that?!"

Aqua: "Isn't that the slime we fought in Alcanretia?!"

Darkness: "And over there! The Dullahan!"

(Y/N): "This is a big pile of Lovecraftian bullshit!"

As it ravaged the land, the slime continued it's effort to pull Sylvia in.

Sylvia: "I won't let it end like this! My life has just begun! I want to keep on living!"

The slime swallowed Sylvia up, and began to expand even more.

Kazuma: "Crap, crap, crap, crap!"

Aqua: "Wait Kazuma! Slow down!"

Megumin: "Faster, you need to go faster!"

(Y/N): "No, I figured I'd stop and take a nap!"

The slime behind them molded into a sphere before changing to a neon blue. Verdia's armor covered it as it formed into something entirely new. Sylvia burst from a gap in the armor, her hair now neon slime. All together, they made a sort of armored, slime centaur.

Crimson Demon 16: "She revived?!"

Kazuma: "What the hell is that?!"

(Y/N): "Dear god, we've reached stage two!"

 Sylvia: "My soul nearly passed on...I'M GOING TO CRUSH EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!"

The slime fired a tidal wave of poison, which was closing in on the party and Yunyun quickly.

(Y/N): "I love you guys!"

The wave started to crash down on them, but was stopped unexpectedly.

Wiz: "Cursed Crystal Prison!"

A beam of ice shot straight into the purple wave, freezing it before it could wash everyone away. Wiz and Vanir came running.

Wiz: "K-Kazuma, what in the world is going on?!"

Kazuma: "Wiz?! What are you doing here?!"

Vanir: "My boy, who is so gifted in living a cowardly life...In order to produce the designs you had given me, we came here to find a craftsman. But it seems..."

Vanir leaned in close to Kazuma.

Vanir: "You've unleashed a magical weapon out of fear for your own life?"

Kazuma: "Wha?!"

Vanir: "You can't hide the truth from a demon that reads minds."

(Y/N): "I CAN'T HIDE, TO ERASE, WHAT I'VE DONE!"

Vanir: "But I suppose our arrangement can't be completed if the village is destroyed...My my, what a mess."

Aqua grabbed onto Kazuma. 

Aqua: "Hey! I thought you were going to use your stolen ideas to make us all rich?!"

(Y/N): "Time and place, ya fuckin deadbeat! You know what, y'all are right, that felt good."

Suddenly, Sylvia used Verdia' sword to pierce a hole through the frozen poison and peered inside.

Sylvia: "Wiz?! And Vanir?!"

Wiz: "Hello again, Sylvia. Can I convince you to take a diplomatic approach here?"

Sylvia: "Hell no!"

Vanir: "The Devil King's forces learning of my survival would be troublesome..."

Sylvia, Hans & Verdia: "You damn traitors!"

Sylvia plunged the sword through the ice, making it crumble to the ground. They were back to running again.

Aqua: "Kazuma, what did you do?! All I know is that you screwed up again! Well I'm not going back to sleeping in stables, especially after the taste of luxury that we've had!"

Vanir snapped his fingers, and hundreds of mini Vanir dolls materialized and crawled onto Sylvia. He snapped again, and the dolls exploded in a wave. Through the smoke of the explosions, a giant sword slammed into the ground, which Vanir dodged. Sylvia was unscathed for all intents and purposes.

Wiz: "Sylvia! I can't believe you'd turn yourself into...that! I mean, seriously!"

Sylvia: "I'm sure you can't Wiz! A coward like you could never understand what it's like for us on the front lines! The way you ditz through life, nothing ever goes wrong! It pisses me off!"

Wiz looked surprised, and vaguely offended.

Megumin: "Kazuma, (Y/N), don't either of you have a plan?! Also, I demand my explosion back."

Kazuma: "Is now really the time for this?! She's fighting Wiz and Vanir, and still has the upper hand! Damn it!"

Sylvia managed to withstand every attack they threw at her, and take little to no damage as well.

Wiz: "My magic!"

Vanir: "It seems that physical damage isn't doing much, either."

Kazuma: Dammit, how is she so strong!"

(Y/N): "Everyone has a weakness! We just need to figure out hers, and quick!"

Kazuma: "Think, think! She's weak to something, like...Like...Like..."

Suddenly, Kazuma had a revelation.

Kazuma: "Like me!"

Kazuma dug his heels into the ground, stopping himself. Everyone stopped a few feet ahead of him.

Aqua: "Kazuma?"

(Y/N): "Look, you don't have to like it, but it has to be done."

Kazuma: "...Damn it, fine!"

Sylvia absorbed Wiz's attack, and sent her flying with the buster sword. Wiz was laying on the ground when Sylvia started to reach out to her.

Sylvia: "Traitors deserve death!"

Before Sylvia's giant hand could crush Wiz, Darkness ran in and started her own duel with Sylvia. She hit Sylvia in the leg, knocking her off balance, before slamming her sword into Sylvia's armored back.

Kazuma: "Wiz! Are you ok?!"

Wiz: "Kazuma!"

Kazuma: "The real battle starts now!"

Verdia surfaced from the slime and stared Darkness down.

Verdia: "The pervert knight with terrible attacks! What's become of her?"

He then noticed something off about Darkness. The mask on her face.

Verdia: "You! Vanir, the allseeing demon!"

Vanir: "So we meet again, Hero Slayer Verdia."

Crimson Demon 17: "What are they planning?!" 

Crimson Demon 18: "Hey, look over there!"

The other Crimson Demons followed where he was pointing to see Yunyun and (Y/N) running, (Y/N) piggybacking Megumin.

Funifura: "They can't even use Teleport, what do they plan to do?!"

Handstand Crimson Demon: "Could it be..."

Arue: "They intend to die."

All present gasped in shock.

Village Chief: "What?!"

Yuiui fainted, and Hyoizaburo caught her.

Hyoizaburo: "My daughter...Megumin, you can't die!"

Crimson Demons: "Megumin, Yunyun!"

(Y/N): 'I know that most of them don't know my name, but it still stings to not be mentioned!'

Wiz: "Everyone! I need your help!

.
.
.

Aqua: "Blessing. Blessing. Blessing."

She was constantly buffing Kazuma.

Aqua: "I've known you for a while now, Kazuma, and you still haven't run out of ludicrous ideas."

Kazuma: "It'll be fine. I've got a goddess with me after all. Give me everything you've got, partner!"

In a rare moment, Kazuma and Aqua genuinely smiled at each other.

Aqua: "Leave it to me!"

The two shot thumbs ups to each other. A ways away, Wiz had gathered all the Crimson Demons, and was extracting their mana into pretty a dark Spirit Bomb.

Crimson Demon 19: "Is this..."

Pucchin: "She's a dark one...But...twists like this are right up my alley!"

Handstand Crimson Demon: "Right! You understand our culture pretty well, for an outsider!"

Wiz: "Thank you! Now, everyone! While Kazuma and the others are buying time, give me your magic power!"

In the distance, Vanir/Darkness was still swordfighting Sylvia.

Sylvia: "I'm tired of spending time in this village full of maniacs! I still have nothing to show for it! I've fought the entire time with my pride as a Devil King general! And my men, who admire me dearly, have fought both loyally and valiantly in my name! But..."

She slammed the broad side of her sword down on Darkness. With Vanir's strength, she managed to block it, but still was pushed into the ground, making a massive crater.

Sylvia: "When I was on the cusp of death, I realized something. I was wrong! Satisfaction and happiness are two different things! No matter how hard I try, the only people who notice and appreciate me are my goblin army!"

Sylvia lifted the sword and looked to the sky, her eyes brimming with tears.

Sylvia: "I may have relationships, but I have no love! I've never wanted romance as badly as I do now! My life won't shine until there's love involved!"

Kazuma: "Would you shut up, you idiot?!"

Sylvia looked to her side to see Kazuma standing on the ground.

Kazuma: "That just isn't true! Sylvia, from the moment I met you-"

He took off his cape and threw it into the air.

Kazuma: "You were already shining!"

Sylvia was hit with a wave of ~Doki Doki~ She blushed and looked down.

Sylvia: "N-no one has ever scolded me like that..."

Kazuma: "Sylvia."

She looked up to see Kazuma taking off his shirt. He threw it to the side and held his arms out.

Sylvia: "I can't believe you..."

Her tentacles extended again, and wrapped around Kazuma once more. She started to pull him towards her.

Sylvia: "I love you."

Kazuma: "I love you."

Sylvia: "I love you."

Kazuma: "...So much."

Darkness took Vanir off to see better. In a burst of bright light, Kazuma fused with Sylvia, placed between her chest again, but this time, there was a very big difference in scale.

Sylvia: "I love you!"

Kazuma: 'The rest is up to you guys!'

Wiz had gathered the magic power into a giant ball.

Wiz: "S-so much magic power...Megumin, Yunyun, (Y/N), it's all yours!"

She shot the magic power towards the peak that Megumin, Yunyun, and (Y/N) were standing on. It hit them, and they instantly felt a burst in power. (Y/N) instantly started to play, charging the biggest attack he could.

Yunyun: "The magic power...of everyone in the village!"

A Few Minutes Ago...

Megumin: "I've never heard of a crazier plan! Kazuma becoming Sylvia's weakness...If only I knew advanced magic..."

(Y/N) was about to say something to her, but was pleasantly surprised when Yunyun spoke up.

Yunyun: "Megumin...Kazuma has faith in your explosion magic. He wouldn't have come up with this plan if he didn't...Megumin...Have you lost faith in explosion magic?"

The Present...

Megumin: "Power...surging!"

Yunyun and Megumin joined hands and took stances.

Yunyun: "I am called Yunyun! The foremost and greatest mage among the Crimson Demons!"

Megumin: "I am called Megumin! The foremost and greatest mage among the Crimson Demons!"

(Y/N): "I am called (Y/N)! The foremost guitarist among the entire world!"

Megumin: "Because Yunyun allowed me to pursue explosion magic on that day, I became who I am today!"

Yunyun: "Because I had Megumin as my rival, I became who I am today!"

(Y/N): "Because of this wood and these six strings, I became the person I am today!"

Yunyun: "Light Of Saber!"

Megumin: "Let the storm blow! Let the flames roar! Explosion magic is the stuff of dreams! It is the ultimate magic that turns the impossible possible! Explosion!" 

Megumin and Yunyun's combo attack rocketed through the air at Sylvia and Kazuma, but Sylvia fired another spell to block it.

Sylvia: "Love!"

Darkness: "A barrier?!"

Sylvia: "Dreams! Hope!"

Sylvia started to push the attack back.

Funifura: "Don't give up Megumin!"

Dodonko: "You can do it Yunyun!"

Pucchin: "My students!"

Megumin & Yunyun: "HAAAAAAAHHH!"

(Y/N): "They didn't mention me again! Looks like I'll have to make them notice me!"

He shot all of the lightning he'd accumulated up into the sky, where it disappeared into the combo spell.

(Y/N): "As the wrath of the gods themselves rains down from the sky, I will sit by and watch as you are dragged away to the fiery depths of the afterlife! No mortal can survive this attack! May the gods have mercy on your soul! Harvester Of Sorrow!"

Everyone watched as something started to glow from inside the explosion. Suddenly, a large dragon, made up entirely out of lightning shot up above. Lightning sparked off it's white wings as it opened them, contrasting against the dark hues of the sky.

Kazuma: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO (Y/N)?!"

The dragon snapped it's head towards Sylvia, and tucked it's wings back as it dove at her. It crashed into her, and in effect, Kazuma. It slowly disappeared piece by piece, as the lightning it was made of was forced into their bodies. Because of the intense pain, Sylvia's barrier broke, letting Megumin and Yunyun's attack in. It pierced straight through both Sylvia and Kazuma. 

Sylvia & Kazuma: "YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Megumin & Yunyun: "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

(Y/N): "Keep going, we can't afford to let up!"

Sylvia: "Satou Kazuma...y-you toyed with me...but I still love yoooouuu!"

Kazuma: "FUCK THIS WOOOOOOOORRLDD!"

They erupted into a massive explosion, seen for miles and miles. As the flames ascended, so did a stairway to heaven. It disappeared soon after. Barely anything was left in the wake of the attack.

(Timeskip)

(Y/N) layed on the floor of Megumin's house.

Kazuma: "Come on, let's go."

(Y/N): "Go on without me. I'm staying one more night."

Darkness: "Come on Kazuma. One more night couldn't hurt."

Kazuma: "Yes it could! I died, I just wanna go home!"

(Y/N): "Then go home! I've got a gig anyways."

Megumin: "You have a gig here?"

(Y/N): "Yep. Yunyun's dad came up to me asking about that final attack, he wanted to know how I did it."

Aqua: "How did you do it?"

(Y/N): "I don't know entirely. All I know is that I literally put my entire everything into that attack. The lightning took over from there."

Kazuma: "You act like it's sentient."

(Y/N): "Who knows? But anyway, we got to talking, and he figured that the village would love a show from one who helped save it. So I can't leave until tomorrow anyway."

Kazuma sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Kazuma: "...One more night. We leave in the morning."

(Y/N): "Yes!"

Yuiyui, who had apparently been listening from the other room, walked in with Komekko.

Yuiyui: "So you're playing a concert tonight?"

(Y/N): "Yes ma'am."

Yuiyui: "Well I'll be sure to bring Komekko then, she still hasn't stopped talking about that song you sang her."

(Y/N): "Actually...you may want to keep Komekko home for this."

Yuiyui: "How come?"

(Y/N): "Well, part of my job is to hype up the crowd, and I might end saying something you don't want young ears to hear..."

Aqua: "He also has the habit of getting blackout drunk at shows."

(Y/N): "Oi, that was once!"

The party stared at him in silence.

(Y/N): "...Ok, twice! But you're the last person that should be ridiculing me about drinking habits, you booze goddess!"

Aqua: "Why you!"

(Timeskip)

Later, after the sun had set, (Y/N) made his way to the center of town. He found a well lit stage, among the repairs that were already coming along well.

(Y/N): "Wow, I haven't played on a stage this big in years!"

Village Chief: "Is it to your liking? I told them to build it bigger..."

(Y/N): "No, this is perfect! How many people are out there?"

Village Chief: "Let's see..."

He peeked around the stage, and then quickly turned back to (Y/N).

Village Chief: "The whole village."

(Y/N): "The whole village?!"

Village Chief: "Well, except for these five."

(Y/N) looked behind him to see that the five Crimson Demons that had volunteered were here.

(Y/N): "This is perfect! If you can introduce me, I can go over the plan one last time with them."

Village Chief: "I'll get to it right away!"

The chief started to walk up on stage as (Y/N) turned to the Crimson Volunteers.

(Y/N): "So what I was thinking was-"

.
.
.

Village Chief: "Residents of the Crimson Demon village! Thank you all for coming! We all overcame a true threat, the Devil King general Sylvia! So as to celebrate, I've prepared a show, a special guest for you. Without further ado, I'm proud to introduce to you (Y/N) (L/N), the Musical Adventurer!"

(Y/N) made his way onstage, and the Crimson Demons started to cheer. After the village chief left the stage, all torches were blown out. The crowd started to murmur at the pitch black stage. They were silenced by (Y/N) starting to play.

As the song kicked into full swing, his Crimson Demon volunteers shot magic into the air, giving the effects of pyrotechnics. The crowd cheered with all their might.

(Y/N): "HERE I COME AGAIN NOW BABY, LIKE A DOG IN HEAT! CAN TELL IT'S ME BY THE CLAMOR NOW BABY, I'D LOVE TO TEAR UP THE STREET! NOW I BEEN SMOKING FOR SO LOOOOOOONG! YOU KNOW I'M HERE TO STAY! GOT YOU IN A STRANGLEHOLD BABY, YOU BEST GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

It took everything he had, but he hit the vibrato on the 'so long' part just like the record. And the crowd ate every bit of it up.

(Y/N): "ROAD I CRUISE IS A BITCH NOW BABY, YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T TURN ME ROUND! AND IF A HOUSE GETS IN MY WAY BABY, YOU KNOW I BURN IT DOWN! YOU RAN THAT NIGHT THAT YOU LEFT ME, YOU PUT ME IN MY PLACE! GOT YOU IN A STRANGLEHOLD BABY, YOU GOTTA CRUSH YOUR FATE!"

(Y/N) ripped through every bit of that song, whether it was the riff, the solo, the vocals, or anything else. At the end of the song, the village screamed their lungs out.

(Y/N): "That's a good way to warm up, ain't it?! Howdy, I'm (Y/N), and I'm about to blow all your fuckin minds! I hope y'all are ready to have some fun!"

The crowd burst into cheers.

(Y/N): "Hell yeah! Let's get this fuckin party started!"

He looked over the crowd of Crimson Demons, and decided exactly which song to play.

(Y/N): "Something that I love about Crimson Demons, is their eyes. They're just amazing."

He watched the crowd's eyes start to glow as they cheered.

(Y/N): "Just like that! I tell you, you can get lost in a Crimson Demon girl's eyes, I'm speaking from experience!"

Even louder cheers.

(Y/N): "I'm gonna play a number now off of Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, called Sabbra Cadabra. One of the lyrics is "mystifying eyes", you guys are gonna fuckin dig it. There's someone in that crowd tonight that I'm dedicating this song to. You Crimson Beauty, you know who you are."

He started the song as the crowd cheered. He had to push his voice to hit the notes, but it was worth it to give the Crimson Demon village their first taste of metal.

(Y/N): "FEEL SO GOOD, I FEEL SO FINE! LOVE THAT LITTLE LADY ALWAYS ON MY MIND! SHE GIVES ME LOVING EVERY NIGHT AND DAY! NEVER GONNA LEAVE HER NEVER GOING AWAY!"

The crowd was near liquid form now, moving and bouncing in time.

(Y/N): "BEEN SO HAPPY SINCE I MET THAT GIRL! WHEN WE'RE MAKING LOVE IT'S SOMETHING OUT OF THIS WORLD! FEELS SO GOOD TO KNOW THAT SHE'S ALL MINE! GONNA LOVE THAT WOMAN TIL THE END OF TIME!"

(Y/N) was a hundred percent correct, the Crimson Demons did dig it, but one more than the rest. Megumin couldn't help but smile wide, knowing exactly who (Y/N) was singing about.

Funifura: "M-Megumin? (Y/N) is your b-boyfriend, right?"

Megumin: "Yes, he is."

Dodonko: "And there's no chance of you two breaking up?"

Megumin: "About a snowball's chance in hell."

Dodonko & Funifura: "Damn it!"

Megumin simply threw her head back and laughed. (Y/N) finished the song, and went right into more stage banter.

(Y/N): "Now I've been around a while, and all this time, I've never found a better mage than a Crimson Demon!"

The crowd of Crimson Demons shot spells into the air as they cheered.

(Y/N): "But lemme tell you, I didn't always think like that. You see, I've met some girls who put me under a spell. And I thought that no spell could match a woman like that."

Some in the crowd cheered. (Y/N) wasn't the only one who'd been put under a woman's spell. He waited for the cheers to die down, and spoke up again.

(Y/N): "It's true, in my heart I believed that a pretty woman's spell could beat out any magic ever casted. But then one day, a Crimson Demon girl came along and put a spell on me, and she proved that there is no match for Crimson Demons!"

They cheered even louder.

(Y/N): "Yeah! I'm wrapped around her spellcasting finger, and the only way I'd give a damn about it is if she ever turned me loose!"

The entire Crimson Demon village was yelling at the top of their lungs.

(Y/N): "I'll sing you one now called...I Put A Spell On You."

They cheered as (Y/N) hit the opening chords.

(Y/N): "I put a spell on you...because you're mine! You better watch the things that you do! I said watch out, I ain't lying...Weeeellll! I ain't gonna take none of your! Fooling around! I ain't gonna take none of your! Putting me down! I put a spell on you...BECAUSE YOU'RE MIIIIIIIIIIINEEE!"

If they cheered loud before the song, then they were reaching dangerous levels of volume during and after the song. (Y/N) gave the song a big finish, which resulted in the loudest cheers of the night. He didn't bother talking too much when the crowd was this hot.

(Y/N): "I'll sing you a little number from back home, called...Ticks."

(Y/N): "Every time you take a sip, in this smokey atmosphere. You press that bottle to your lips, and I wish I was your beer. In the small there of your back, your jeans are playing peekaboo. I'd like to see the other half, of that Crimson Demon tattoo."

Deep in the crowd, Megumin's face nearly burst into flames.

(Y/N): "I'd like to see you! Out in the moonlight! I'd like to kiss you! Way out in the sticks! I'd like to walk you through a field of wild flowers! I'd like to check you for ticks!"

Megumin wasn't the only blushing Crimson Demon in the crowd. Every young female Crimson Demon, and some of the older ones too, were all red. Cheering? Yes. Excited? Yes. But very, very red.

(Y/N): "I know the perfect little path, out in these woods I used to hunt. Don't worry babe I've got your back, and I've also got your front. I'd hate to waste a night like this! I'll keep you safe, just wait and see. The only thing allowed to crawl all over you, when we get there is me."

It was clear, this was a song for the ladies. Their cheers were the loudest at the end of the song. (Y/N) ran to the front of the stage and started clapping his hands. The village followed suit, starting to keep time.

(Y/N): "Come on motherfuckers! Repeat after me! The girl's got rhythm!"

Crimson Demons: "The girl's got rhythm!"

(Y/N): "Girl's got rhythm!"

Crimson Demons: "Girl's got rhythm!"

(Y/N): "She's got the backseat rhythm!"

Crimson Demons: "She's got the backseat rhythm!"

(Y/N): "There ya fuckin go! This song's called Girl's Got Rhythm!"

He started the song, and soon everyone was moving again. His pyrotechnic helpers only added more energy to the performance. After the song, he gestured for all of them to quiet down.

(Y/N): "Any of y'all remember that final attack, the one that killed Sylvia?"

They went from dead silence to the cheers that could fill a stadium.

(Y/N): "When I did my part, I stole the name from a song. It's a little diddy called...Harvester Of Sorrow..."

The crowd almost literally exploded with cheers. The opening riff already had Crimson Demons bobbing their heads back and forth. 

(Y/N): "Drink up! Shoot in! Let the beatings begin! Distributor of pain! Your loss becomes my gain! Harvester of sorrow! Harvester of sorrow!"

At the mere mention of the name, the Crimson Demons cheered. 

(Y/N): "HARVESTER OF SORROOOWWW! THAT'S MY SHOW! THANK YOU GOODNIGHT!"

(Y/N) walked off stage. Before he could leave though, he heard the crowd chanting something.

Crowd: "ENCORE! ENCORE!"

He quickly made his way back onstage.

(Y/N): "Y'all make it real hard to say no."

The crowd roared.

(Y/N): "Alright, just a couple more, but only because you're the best goddamn crowd I've ever played for!"

Crimson Demons screamed in joy.

(Y/N): "This song is another thing I've stolen. Remember! Killing Is My Business...And Business Is Good!"

(Y/N) became a blurry mess of hair as he played the opening riff. The only time he came together as he lifted his face to sing.

(Y/N): "It brings me great pleasure! To say my next job is you..."

The Crimson Demons started to thrash all around. It genuinely took every bit of concentration he had, but (Y/N) managed to sing and solo at the same time.

(Y/N): "DON'T YOU KNOW THAT KILLING, IS MY BUSINESS! OH, AND BUSINESS IS GOOD! KILLING, IS MY BUSINESS! AND BUSINESS IS GOOD! KILLING, IS MY BUSINESS! AND BUSINESS IS GOOD! KILLING, IS MY BUSINESS! AND BUSINESS IS GOOD! KILLING, IS MY BUSINESS! AND BUSINESS IS GOOD! KILLING, IS MY BUSINESS! AND BUSINESS IS GOOD! KILLING, IS MY BUSINESS! AND BUSINESS IS GOOD! KILLING, IS MY BUSINESS! AND BUSINESS IS GOOD! YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT MOTHERFUCKER! RRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

(Y/N) screamed into the sky, possessed by the music. He caught his breath as the crowd voiced their opinion on the song. It was an overwhelming success.

(Y/N): "Ladies and gentlemen, that's all from me! THANK YOU, GOODNIGHT!"

(Timeskip)

Megumin had gone home a little earlier than (Y/N), who was living out his dreams. He was signing autographs, and loving every second of it. When he came home, he didn't even bother to ask Yuiyui where he would sleep. He just walked into Megumin's room and slipped into the futon. What he didn't know was that she was awake, waiting for him. He jumped a little when she spoke to him.

Megumin: "You put on quite a show tonight."

(Y/N): "Oh, thanks."

Megumin: "Funifura and Dodonko wanted me to tell you that you live up to the rumors."

(Y/N): "Well that's nice to hear. Not everyone thinks I'm a softie."

Megumin giggled as he smirked at her. Then she looked down, thinking.

Megumin: "Tonight is our last night in the village..."

(Y/N): "We'll surely come and visit."

Megumin: "But it isn't exactly a short trip. We'll be gone for a while."

(Y/N): "Then let's make the night memorable."

Megumin: "M-memorable how?"

(Y/N): "Not like that, you perv. I could've rescheduled the gig, so do you know why I wanted to stay one more night?"

Megumin: "No?" 

(Y/N): "I recorded a song into the looper for you."

He watched her face light up, and nearly hugged her right then and there. But he watched the happiness on her face dissipate.

Megumin: "But everyone in the house is asleep."

(Y/N): "Your mom is awake behind that door, she locked it tonight too. But that's not the point, I thought of that already. Does your window work?"

Megumin: "Yes?"

(Y/N): "Then everything should be perfect."

He stood up from the futon, and strapped Amelia to his back. Then he opened the window, came back and reached down, picking Megumin bridal style.

(Y/N): "Little hop here, hold on."

He jumped though the window with Megumin. It wasn't a long way down, just a few feet. He placed Megumin on the ground, and took her by the hand.

Megumin: "Where are we going?"

(Y/N): "You'll see. Don't worry, it's not far. You know, Komekko served as a perfect test run."

Megumin: "Test run?"

(Y/N): "Don't worry about it, you'll see soon enough."

He led her up the hill just a little ways away from her house. They stood under that big tree, and both their breath were taken away. Hand in hand, they gazed at the beautiful full moon hanging over them. (Y/N) had known about the full moon, but he still watched it with wonder. He snapped out of the daze he was in, and looked down to Megumin.

(Y/N): Well darlin, may I have this dance?

Megumin: "I'd be delighted."

He set his guitar against the big oak tree, and flipped the looper on. 

As the music played and (Y/N) sang, he wrapped his arms around Megumin, and she rested her head on his chest as they danced. They found peace under the watch of a million stars, and in each other's embrace. Megumin had to double check to see if her feet were still on the ground.

(Y/N): "I know she's not perfect, but she tries so hard for me. And I thank God that she isn't, cause how boring would that be? It's the little imperfections, it's the sudden change in plans. When she misreads the directions, and we're lost but holding hands, yeah, I live for. Little moments, like that."

The night was cold, but it didn't bother them. After all, they had all the warmth they'd ever need right in their arms. Little did they know that Yuiyui had followed them, looking to see what they would do at this time of night. She was about to call out to them, but any sound about to escape her lips was silenced by the soft sound of a male voice carrying from the top of the hill. She sat and watched as the two silhouettes danced across the dark sky, painting a picture of love across the empty canvas of the full moon. She stood still and listened to the song that (Y/N) was singing.

(Y/N): "When she's laying on my shoulder, on the sofa in the dark. And about the time she goes to sleep, so does my right arm. And I want so bad to move it, cause it's tingling and it's numb. But she looks so much like an angel, that I don't wanna wake her up. Yeah, I live for, little moments. When she steals my heart again, and doesn't even know it...Yeah I live for, little moments, like that."

Yuiyui watched as the smaller silhouette leaned up for a kiss, sealing the dance with love. Now she knew. Knew that (Y/N) wasn't just putting on a show, knew that Megumin wasn't exaggerating in her letters...Knew that she didn't have to worry about her daughter's happiness anymore. She walked back to the house, intent on letting them have the rest of the night to themselves. If she didn't hear them come back in through the window after a while, she'd go check on them. But otherwise, the night was theirs. After watching the moon for a few minutes more, (Y/N) strapped Amelia to his back, and the two started back towards the house. Upon arriving at the window, (Y/N) boosted Megumin up through, and handed her Amelia. Then he crawled through himself. The two crawled back under the covers and into each other's embrace once again.

(Y/N): I'll never get over how well you fit in my arms.

Megumin: And I'll never get over how safe I feel with your arms around me.

(Y/N) leaned down and kissed the top of her head as she giggled.

(Y/N): "I love you, Megumin. Goodnight."

Megumin: "I love you too. Goodnight, (Y/N)."

With that, Megumin drifted off. (Y/N) stared down at her sleeping face resting on his chest.

(Y/N): "...My life isn't easy. I get beat up constantly. I've lived in debt, I've even died once or twice. Sometimes I'd love to just tap out and be done with it. But it's moments like this that give me a reality check. Laying here in the dark, holding you tight...It's moments like these that make any hardship I have, and will ever endure totally worth it."

He craned his neck and kissed the top of her head before drifting off as well.

(Timeskip)

After coming home and being greeted with open arms and cheers, everything mostly settled in back to normal. To blow off some steam from daily troubles, they prepared lunch and made a walk out to the countryside.

Aqua: "There we go!"

Aqua had just spread a blanket out under a big tree. Beside her was Darkness, holding the picnic basket, and Kazuma holding Chomusuke. 

Darkness: "It's perfect weather for a picnic today."

Megumin had taken (Y/N) aside a ways away, to talk to him about something important.

(Y/N): "Man, these hills are pretty. We should come here more often, don't you think?"

Megumin stayed silent, staring out in front of her.

(Y/N): "Something's up, I know that much. What's bothering you?"

Megumin: "I need to apologize."

(Y/N): "Apologize? For what?"

Megumin: "...If I had known advanced magic, then we could've defeated Sylvia easier. Kazuma wouldn't have had to die."

(Y/N): "Megumin-"

Megumin: "Don't you dare say that it's not true, because it is!"

(Y/N) shut his mouth before he said anything else. The most important thing right now was to listen.

Megumin: "That's why I've decided..."

She pulled out her adventurer card.

Megumin: "I'm going to learn advanced magic."

(Y/N): "I really don't mind it, you know. Those explosion trips are the highlight of my day."

Megumin: "I'm sorry, but I'm willing to sacrifice a little happiness if it means no one gets hurt."

She held out her card.

Megumin: "Can I ask you to do something terrible?"

(Y/N): "...Can't bring yourself to do it, huh?" 

She nodded.

(Y/N): "What about your dreams? Wasn't explosion a massive part of those?"

Megumin: "I suppose it's time to wake up then. I'll be sealing my explosion magic away."

She flipped her cape and struck a pose, but (Y/N) could tell her heart wasn't in it.

Megumin: "The number one mage among the Crimson Demons, and the wielder of advanced magic! That will be my calling card from now on. Since I have higher magic potential than Yunyun, there's no way I won't be number one! I won't let her take that title from me."  

(Y/N): "...If this is what you really want...then I'll do it for you."

Megumin covered her face with her hat. She couldn't even bare to watch what was about to happen. She heard the sound of changing something on an adventurer card, and her heart sank.

Megumin: 'No...I can't feel like that. This is for the best...'

What she didn't know was that (Y/N) quietly pulled his card from his pocket as well.

(Y/N): "Here."

Megumin: "Thanks." 

He handed her card to her, and she put away again.

Megumin: "Well let's get going then."

She turned around and started to walk back, but (Y/N) stood still.

(Y/N): "Hey Megumin, light one up for me real quick."

Megumin: "Huh?!"

(Y/N): "Come one, you haven't used explosion yet today."

Megumin: "I can't believe you...To ask me to use it as soon as I've steeled myself not to. What in the world are you thinking?"

(Y/N) just smiled at her. She walked back beside him, and flipped her cape once again.

Megumin: "Very well. This will be my final explosion."

She started to chant, but (Y/N) started to chant with her. She was confused, and stopped to look up at him.

Megumin: "Why are you chanting with me?"

(Y/N): "I just figured that if this is the very last explosion, it may as well be memorable. What better way to remember the last explosion than by helping to chant it?"

Megumin: "...I see. Alright, be sure to remember this."

The two resumed chanting.

Megumin: 'Goodbye.'

Megumin & (Y/N): "EXPLOSION!"

Then came the most powerful explosion Megumin had ever casted. If (Y/N) had to guess, he'd say it was visible from space. Megumin realized that he didn't spend even a single skill point for advanced magic, all of it had gone into her explosion. She layed in the grass smiling, tears of joy in her eyes.

Megumin: "I am called Megumin! Arch Wizard and wielder of explosion magic! Axel's foremost mage, and she who will one day master explosion magic!" 

(Y/N): "I told you, I'd do anything to keep you happy. Learning advanced magic would've made you anything but that. When I've got a mage that can toy with and kill Devil King generals with one spell, do I really need her to change anyway?"

But then she received another surprise. As she layed on the ground, she caught a glimpse of another smaller explosion that was beside hers. Her mind raced, but she was jolted out of thought when she felt (Y/N) hit the ground beside her. He used what little strength he had to reach out and hold her hand.

(Y/N): "Wow...I'm surprised I even stood up that long. That took like...all of my mana."

Megumin: "(Y/N)?! When did you even-"

(Y/N): "I learned it when you had your face buried in your hat. I've been saving excess skill points for a long time now, and this felt like the best time."

Megumin: "B-but...Why?"

(Y/N): "Remember back when me and Kazuma were first learning how skill points worked? You asked me to walk on the path of explosions with you, and I've kept it as a goal since. Keep in mind, I won't use it as liberally as you do. Someone's got to carry you back, right?"

Megumin could only nod as happy tears streamed down her face.

Kazuma: "Looks like it's us today."

They looked up to see Kazuma and Darkness standing over them.

Darkness: "Come on, the picnic is ready."

Darkness gave Megumin a piggyback ride, and Kazuma pulled (Y/N)'s arm around his shoulder, helping him along. Megumin looked behind her to see that the two giant smoke clouds billowing up formed into a giant heart in the sky. Her and (Y/N) locked eyes, and smiled.

(Y/N) & Megumin: "120 points!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tada! That's the movie chapter done! This is most likely my favorite chapter of the entire book. I spent a lot of time on this, so I hope it turned out well. Over 23,000 words, goddamn. But I should probably talk a little about the future of this book, and what I plan to do. There only two things in this world that stay the same. 1: Everything changes.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

2: Me updating this book. That's right, I don't plan to stop anytime soon, because I've had so much fun writing this. I've had my ups and downs with this book. I've felt burnt out once or twice, and those chapters disappoint me some. But when I really get into writing them, these chapters are so much fun. I hope to do all the LN volumes, but we'll have to see. But the first step is volume 6. Look out for those chapters. They'll probably take a little longer, seeing as I need to refresh myself on them. But I'm gonna do them, if it's the last thing I do. Once again, I really appreciate the support this story has gotten, thank you all. Alright, I've rambled for long enough now. I hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you in the next chapter, whenever that may be...