Sam and I sat in silence as we drove from Heyward's to the house. Sam was still upset that I wouldn't tell him how I broke my wrist and I was just upset he kept pressing on the topic. Couldn't he tell I didn't want to talk about it?
I watched out the window, waiting for something although I knew nothing would come. Sam and I didn't stay long with Kiara. Mostly just enough time to get caught up to speed on what had happened. Kiara tried to explain it as best as she could but even she wasn't completely sure what the hell was happening.
Like the day before, I spent most of my time in my room once I got back. My mind wandered to JJ. Over the past few days, since going to the junkyard he had told me a bit. Other parts I inferred for myself.
It was later in the day now, the cool morning breeze breaking away, the still-warm air taking its place. I sat in front of my closet, thinking. I knew that if Bianca was here with me she'd be upset I had spent such a beautiful day inside.
"What am I going to do with you?" Her soft voice would say, a hum to her words. "oh so what if I spend a day inside for a change" I would argue, leaning my head back onto the girl's lap. Bianca's fingers laced through my hair.
"It's not like you" She'd reply, her hands resting on my neck now. I could almost feel it on my skin. I sat by the bed, my head leaning back onto it. Oh, how I missed her girl.
"What would you suggest I do? There's not much right now" I would say, a laugh lacing my words. She'd lean over to make eye contact with me. "kiss me" She'd say, and I would listen. Would turn my body and bring the girl's face to mine, kissing her gently.
My eyes stayed closed, thinking about what it would feel like to have her there now. A tear slipped down my cheek, and my hand quickly pushed away. I focused back on Bianca and me, I was happy there.
"What now?" I would ask, looking toward the girl. Bianca would smile and turn to look at me. She'd leaned forward and place a kiss on my lips before abruptly stopping and getting up. "chase me" She would playfully say before racing out the door and down the hall.
I had gotten up, but the sound of a revving bike caught my attention. It stirred me from my thoughts and when I opened my eyes, the door was still closed. Bianca had not run down the hall, and she hadn't been there with me.
My eyes fell to the window and I stood, squinting at the boy on the bike. I opened my window when he began down the path that separated John B and Sam's yards.
"JJ?" I called out, watching as the boy stopped and turned, his attention on me now. My attention fell to his battered and bruised face, shock surely washing over my face.
"Here, come inside I'll help you clean up" I let out, the only thing I could think to say to him. He nodded before approaching my window and climbing through.
"Here, there's a bathroom down the hall," I said, leading the way.
"This is probably going to sting," I told him when we had gotten to the bathroom and I jumped on the counter, motioning for the boy to stand between my legs. He did as I said and I got the clean cotton pad ready.
I winced when he did. I knew how much this hurt. "so, uh-" I began but he cut me off. "my dad, he uh he's not happy about the restitution" JJ explained to me and I nodded, continuing to clean his cuts.
"so, where'd you learn to clean up cuts?" He asked.
"Cleaned up so many of my own it's second nature" I laughed, apologizing quickly for the sting.
"You tell any of the pogues?" He asked and I shook my head. "That's my past" I said, weakly smiling at the boy, knowing it wasn't his.
"oh," He said, nodding as I repositioned myself on the counter.
"So is this it?" I asked, my head tilted as I worked on his jaw.
"pretty much," He said, moving his arm to show one of the bruises on his shoulders.
"Okay, I'm done. You can go grab one of my brother's shirts from my closet, they're on the bottom in the hamper folded". I said smiling as he moved from his spot. I jumped down from the counter and walked to the room, JJ already sitting by the closet.
It was then that I realized I hadn't put the loose board back and the box that had Bianca's shirt was on show. "Who's Bianca?" JJ asked as he saw the sticky note that said 'Bianca's property, do not touch'. It was something Bianca had written when the box used to be at her house in her closet. The note was meant for her younger sister but I had kept it on the box. Even just her writing gave me something else of Bianca's.
My face dropped and I sucked in a breath. "a friend" I said as I sat on the bed, watching the boy.
"Why do you have it hidden away?" He questioned, turning to look at me. "I just don't want it to get lost or ruined," I said, and even though I was good at lying, Bianca was a sore subject.
"Why are you lying?" JJ asked, getting up and sitting next to me on the bed. I turned to him, he was already looking at me so the two of us made eye contact.
"Who is she?" He asked again to which I sighed. "Okay," I said, preparing myself to tell him. I didn't know why but at that moment it felt easier than anything to open up. Like Bianca was telling me it was okay. Foolishly, I looked up towards the door, the open door. And then back to JJ.
"Bianca was my best friend. Well, no. Well, yes" I stammered, laughing at myself as I did. "She wasn't just my best friend, she was so much more than that," I admitted with a smile.
"JJ I swear she was the love of my life," I told him and he smiled, but after a second it wavered.
"What happened," He asked, his eyes training on mine, dropping when he asked.
"One day when I stayed over she had gotten up and gone to work, I stayed there to finish some school work and to wait for her but before she got home the phone rang. She didn't even make it to the hospital, she was already dead when the paramedics got there. We were supposed to run away together, come here and start a life without my parents and the shitty people in our past. But I guess someone else had other plans" I said, and when I finished JJ had placed his hand on my arm.
"That was two months ago, and I fought like hell to make it through the two months before I got away." I let out, a smile reappearing on my face.
"I'm so sorry," He told me, his hand still resting on my arm. The touch comforted me. "she would have liked you." I told him, and JJ laughed.
"you think?"
"Yeah," I said, taking a breath. I sat in silence with him for a bit, the two of us conformable in each other's presence. There was something about JJ, it felt like I'd known him for a lifetime. The two of us just seemed to fit together so well. He was like my other half, platonically. The kind of person Bianca always told me I'd find. To which I always argued she was the only one for me.
I do truly believe that Bianca would have liked JJ. And as I sat with him I could swear I felt Bianca kiss my cheek. I smiled, finding comfort with JJ.
As JJ and I sat together, a small conversation flowing between the two of us we heard a car pull up. I stood, curiously looking out the window.
"uh, JJ" I called to him and he stood too. Both our vision's falling onto the car parking itself hidden by John B's house.
"shit"