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I was exhausted, mentally mostly. I had spent the majority of the day thinking about my girlfriend Bianca. Partially feeling guilty about the fact I couldn't decide if kissing John B was cheating or not. I had been cheated on once, and sure it hurt but I didn't love the boy.
I wondered if Bianca would have wanted me to move on, we never got the chance to talk about anything like that. One second I was being kissed before Bianca went to work and the next I was answering a phone call from a man saying she had died on the scene. She didn't even make it to the hospital.
I hadn't talked about her death much. Sam knew. It came out in a conversation. He asked how the girl was doing and as bluntly as possible I responded 'dead' It was cold and monotone. I didn't sound like a human with feelings.
He didn't pressure me to talk about it, he didn't do any digging, and he just left it at that.
"They're showing this outdoor movie tonight, wanna come?" Kiara asked, the question making me look up at her.
"uh, yeah. I'll come" I said with a smile, a genuine smile this time. I knew I couldn't stay inside and cry about Bianca forever. I knew Bianca wouldn't have wanted that. And deep down I knew Bianca wanted me to be happy and eventually that would involve moving on.
Kiara and I left the room, my eyes resting on the corner of the dresser. Under the wood board was a box. That's where I had Bianca's shirt. I just wished I had more to put in that box. More physical things to remember her by.
I shut the bedroom door, walking behind Kiara. She was a good friend, but every time I had mentally prepared myself to open up and give myself a pep talk, I'd back down. Something made me do it, I wasn't quite sure what though.
JJ and Pope were waiting outside for us, a smile spreading onto my face when I saw them. "Have fun!" Sam yelled out, waving at all of us. "We will" Kiara laughed as she called back. I turned and waved goodbye to the boy as I shut the door.
"I'll get the drinks," I told the pogues as we got to the field. Kiara nodded and told the boys she'd come with me while they picked our spots.
"Can I get a lemonade and 3 Pepsi's please?" I asked as I walked over to the concession stand, pulling some money from my pocket. Kiara grabbed my hand, stopping me from paying and putting down money on the table herself.
"here you go ladies, enjoy the movie." The concession boy told us and we smiled. "thank you" I said as we left, trying to find where the boys sat.
"oh, over there" Kiara pointed to the boys and their spot with her free hand.
"Hey Elaine, Kiara" Both Kiara and I turned to meet Rafe. "What do you want?" I asked, my tone displaying everything it needed to. Rafe forced a laugh and leaned down to meet my height.
"Tell your boy we know what he did" I raised my brows in confusion and turned to look at Kiara, a confused look plastered onto her face too.
"I'm sorry, what boy?" Kiara asked, looking back at Rafe.
