☪︎ℳ𝒶𝓁𝓋𝒶☪︎
I jolted up from my position not feeling the sharp pain in my chest anymore. I look around remembering vividly what happened, I was in a black space with two doors on the opposite side.
I look in the corner to see a figure that was blacked out. I stood up stepping closer to the figure as I notice the brown hair, light skin, with hazel eyes from anywhere.
I immediately jumped onto toby arms giving him a tight hug, He didn't look lifeless, He looked full of life. Tears fell as he wrapped his arms around me.
"What the hell are you doing here dumbass" Toby said pushing off the hug . "I sort of maybe got shot" I said earning a deep chuckle from toby.
"Malva you can't stay here" Toby said in all seriousness. "Why can't I? My person is here down there in hell I have no one" I said which are my true feelings, I couldn't relate to anyone, I couldn't just talk to anyone and still be seen the same way.
"Hell my own father hates me. So does my mother."
"Mal, I'm not your person. Your person is closer than you think and that isn't me that's why you have to go back" Toby said before out of nowhere we were in our place. Which was the cliff. The place I would go to to fill whole again "-Your father doesn't hates you. He acts that way because he love you."
"How did yo-" I started, Toby laughed before saying "We're dead we can do anything really" Toby said before randomly handing me ice cream. I'm dead? Like actually dead?
"Mal we have 24 hours before you either walk through the left door or the right"
"Toby, I cannot just lose you again, I cannot just go through the pain of my bestfriend being gone-" I started soon interrupted by toby interlocking our hands.
"Mal, Your feature needs you not your past"
"You're alone" My voice breaking as tears threatened to fall.
"Mal, Soon after I died, my mother died from a stroke. Mal what I'm trying to say is let me go, We will meet again but not right now" Toby said. I started chuckling at a random thought.
"This turned into a poetry slam real fast" I randomly stated. Trying to lighten the mood.
"Mal"
"Hmm" I said letting him know I'm listening,
"Your holding on to the past, If you chose to go back. You need to allow yourself to find happiness. Don't hold yourself back because of me"
Toby was right, as much as I hated it, I needed to let go, to allow myself to find happiness. And move on.
"I see You and Blaise have been getting closer" Toby said nudging me, "If you mean throwing knives at each other and fighting, I guess" I said laughing a bit.
In a way I knew he would blame himself. I needed backup and he knew that if he was with me I wouldn't have gotten shot. As much as I hated him I didn't want him to blame himself for my mistakes.
I should've been more aware.
Me and Toby talked for awhile, caught up with each other. Basically it was like old times. I was happy talking to Toby until he brought up a sensitive topic. The kidnapping.
"Do you still have nightmares?" He asked referring to the kidnapping and his death. "Occasionally" I simply answered. I had very bad nightmares, it was bad to a point I would never sleep. I mean it's gotten better now but I still dread going to sleep at night.
"Mal, Remember the journal I was always writing in?" He asked looking at me, I turned to him and nodded. The blue rusty looking book that Toby always had with him.
"I want you to read it and finish it, I wrote in it everyday. About my day. The journal is big about 1,000 pages. I want you to finish them. You can find the journal at my old house in my room, My closet has a uneven floor board, I want you to get it. My grandmother should still be there so she will let you in" Toby explained. I'm confused. Any other time I would even joke about knowing what's inside he would get hella serious.
"Why me?" I asked not sure why he would want me to write into it, "You need it, It goes back years. Short sentences to long paragraphs. You read it then write, Promise me you will do that Mal" Toby asked as if I was going to disappear.
"Promise" I said giving him a short smile .
"Time to chose" Toby spoke up, making me break into soft sobs. I sat up and hugged Toby for what seemed like hours until he let go. "You have to let go Mal." I let out a sob on his shoulder as I opened my eyes the moment slowly fading as I let go.
"You know what to do, love you mal"
"Love you too" I softly said watching my bestfriend disappear into the darkness.
I walked in the middle of both doors. I knew if I stayed it wouldn't be right, But I would finally be happy. I did what I felt was right...
BLAISE POV
1 week, 7 days , 168 hours. Malva has been in the coma. It was stressful how much I think I cared. At work people was so irritating, I even remember the talk my father gave me which pissed me off more.
She needed backup and I wasn't there. That shit stings knowing if I would've just came to help her she wouldn't be in critical condition.
The worst part is her mom is on vacation. When we told her what happened all she said was 'Well if she isn't dead then why are you calling me?' And her father went off doing some crazy shit. My father been here with me as much as possible so when she wakes up she'll have someone.
"You've been on edge since Malva was in dat coma , Yelling at people throwing shit. I would even think you love her or something" My father (Faze) Spoke.
"Shut the hell up" I gripped the edge of my desk.
I heard a loud beeping noise in Malva hospital room, Nurses came rushing in. "She's crashing" A nurse yelled before closing the curtains. What the hell does crashing means. I obviously need to catch up on Grey's anatomy.
☪︎ℳ𝒶𝓁𝓋𝒶☪︎
I was reaching for the door when, My arm was pulled from the door by Toby. "Mal I always knew you were stupid but not that stupid" he gave me a look that made me feel somewhat ashamed.
"This is my-" choice. I wanted to stay. I didn't want to go back to hell with people who don't give a shit about me.
"No it isn't, When I died I told you to live for the both of us" He said, I swear I seen a tear fall from his face.
"I can't do it." I can be vulnerable in front of Toby. He would never judge me or make me feel ashamed for it.
"god your so stubborn" Toby said running his hands through his hair.
"How lucky I am to have someone that makes saying goodbye so hard" I said before reaching for the door knob.
"Go kick ass for the both of us" Toby shouted before I walked through the door
---
cracking my eyes open to see a room full of nurses, With a smile. I looked down at my chest to see a bandage, I tried to move my right arm but it wouldn't budge. My eyes felt woozy as they still adjusted.
As I looked around seeing my body hooked up to all these damn machines.
"My arm?" My voice cracked as my body and throat felt sore.
"Cast" A nurse simply replied. Another nurse handed me a bottle of water which I downed within seconds.
"Are you up for a visitor?" A nurse asked, I just nodded expecting to see my father or gold digging as mother. Nope, it was Blaise. Great just the person I wanted to see.
"Well nice to know I still have a chance to kill you" Blaise joked while smirking. I just stared at him blankly. Your person is closer than you think
maybe I'm going to get a puppy or something. That'll be ideal.
"When can I get out of this place, I need to shower. I'm sure I look a mess" I said swiping my greasy hair out of my face.
"Well you don't look that bad for a person who was close to death" Blaise said shrugging.
"And I wonder why I was close to death." I mumbled out and I noticed as he visibly flinched. Shit malva. Not the time.
"Where is my father?" I asked clearing the air. Everything still felt woozy. I can't imagine the amount of drugs they have me on.
"He's on his way" Blaise said as his left eye twitch letting me know he's lying. Wow I'm in a hospital and my father still doesn't prioritize or even give a care for me.
"Just because I'm in a hospital bed doesn't mean I can't kick your ass" I said narrowing my eyes.
"You couldn't even kick my ass stable" He chuckled making me mad. He's also trying to distract me. Just tell me the truth. My father doesn't give a fuck.
"My father, Where is he?"
"He went to visit you're sister in California"
Wow, while I'm in a coma fighting for literally nothing, He partying, getting a tan and getting drunk, this is what he does every single time.
Maybe I should've just died. They wouldn't have cared and I would've been happy. Freya is the child he adores her. No matter how much I tried I was never going to get the love she gets. That's why I stopped trying and began being seen as the problematic child.
"Whatever, get me out of here" I said seriously.
"As much as I would hate that. You will be released in some days or shit. Anyways. Ell and Ice are coming, Liliac is going to stop by to" I couldn't help but miss the smirk on his face as he spoke about Liliac.
"Never thought I would see the day that the Blaise Berlusconi fawning over a girl" I acknowledge, Blaise only smirked shaking his head.
A/n
My favorite chapter.
Question: thoughts on Toby/ I personally love him💕