the shit that goes on at well...

By theparkedcar

96K 2.8K 2.5K

"'ASSLO.'" Remi makes a group chat, but whoooo the UnO cast is NOT easy to deal with. Crack ensues. Achieveme... More

author's note pls read
welcome, bastards
dating dating 1 2 3
john needs some frickin therapy
tears and doc's cookies
sLEEEEP
wHaT tHe hiErArChY aRe yOu dOiNg?!
||valium, elaine, and lies||
skool sucks 100%
truth or dare + john's tears on video
blyke can't cook shit
pErFeCtiOn iS sOmEtHiNg yOu sHoUlD kNoW, sErA
asslo's half-assed asspology
JOHN Y U PUKE ON WALLLLLLLL
||le name||
what the flippety fuck, blyke
ѕєℓƒ-яιgнтєσυѕ вяαт
weirdo fanfiction + sera go thunk
[]banana bitch[]
purebread, ice skating, and nightmares
𝕛𝕠𝕙𝕟 𝕚𝕤 𝕧𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕒
seraphina is fucking scary
||don't force john to tie you up||
blyke's sandwich counter is diRdEe
|stoic prick|
nyoom off the school
it's a bird! it's a plane! it's a flying chair!
apple martini and bloody mary
target carts
tv death + regurgitated saline crackers
isen's stupidity can poison you
𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕕𝕚𝕖, 𝕛𝕠𝕙𝕟
rusty fork
IT BETTER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR GORDON FUCKING RAMSAY
bananas, shrimp, and teachers
slıɐu ssɐ-dɹɐɥs s,ǝlıɔǝɔ
sToLeN tArGeT cArTs!!!1!1!!11!!!
that shit's as bitter as your personality
Moldy Cheeto™
elaine's hot chocolate
seraphina's nasty feet
𝓼𝓹𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮
duffel bags + sera's shit cooking
the bridge of s u f f e r i n g
lemon bleach with salt
don't worry, i left them hanging
p a t h e t i c c h e e s e p u f f
john's poor desk
𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓬𝓬𝓸𝓵𝓲 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱
[]swimming + prodigal son + bleach[]
john's mood swings are crazy
𝕪𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕖𝕣
twirl on the tabletop
𝔡𝔢𝔣𝔢𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫
traumatized boba
poor remi
[]elaine's food can kill somebody[]
cReEk wAtEr?!?!1!1!??
asslo's amazing allergies
||glitter & glue||
꧁༒☬𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓯 𝓳𝓻☬༒꧂
Sera Accidentally Triggers John™
clairevoyance
vaughn is 𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓵
n o t h i n g
poker
||q/a + movies||
OF COURSE YOU USELESS TRAFFIC CONE
fight! fight! fight!
𝓾𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓲𝓷𝓯𝓻𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽
front-page sandwiches
lEt'S pLaY a gAmE
chaos
𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕖 𝕕𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕣
asslo's phone go brrrr
oof
p o r t a l s
𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒 𝕓𝕦𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕒 𝕞𝕠𝕡
cAnDiEs uNdEr jOhN's SiNk
dog shit, glitter glue, perler beads, and perfume
BLAST OFF
𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓷'𝓼 𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓹𝔂 𝓫𝓪𝓼𝓮𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽
I DIDN'T BREAK YOUR TOASTER I SWEAR
Pink Lunch Bag™️
glitz n glam
𝕣𝕖𝕚𝕟 𝕚𝕤 𝕤 𝕙 𝕠 𝕠 𝕜 𝕖 𝕥 𝕙
hcs
when you yeet somebody into the wall
iT iS wHaT iT iS
🎵🎵john in a shopping cart 🎵🎵
𝕝𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕡𝕠𝕡𝕤, 𝕥𝕒𝕗𝕗𝕪, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕘𝕦𝕞𝕕𝕣𝕠𝕡𝕤
✨cherry merlot foamy hand soap✨
pool party
pool party pt 2
Flying Waffles™
𝒷𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀-𝓊𝓅 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒
𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 & 𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘
EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU CAN'T CUT UP A CRACKER
tHe biRtHdAy pArTy
tHe biRtHdAy pArTy 2
tHe biRtHdAy pArTy 3
Author's Note

aNd tHeN i'M gOnNa cOuNt tO tEn

1K 30 4
By theparkedcar


[8:39 pm]

Blyke: i heard this loud thunk against the wall

Blyke: is that you john

Remi: yall okay in there

John: sjtuhij

John: lsdj'gper

John: sfd;jfdg

John: sorry i was doing something and sat on my phone

Blyke: who r u with

John: myself

Blyke: apparently you sound like seraphina, but okay

Isen: whoa whoa whoa whoa

Isen: they probably making out or some shit

Remi: probably

Sera: we are not

Sera: dont stick your nose in our business

Isen: i can see you w my ability

John: i know bitch

John: how do you think i caught you spying on me and cecile when i was joker

Isen: so apparently right now john and seraphina are sitting next to each other on john's freakishly small bed

John: when i'm through with you you'll be on your knees begging for mercy

Isen: that sounds oddly familiar

Blyke: cecile probably said that to you

Isen: o_o

Remi: heh

John: isen's getting exposed

John: just like asslo got

Asslo: i didn't get exposed

John: yeah you did

John: when elaine forgot it was the gc and told you to do the thing you did last night

Asslo: i thought all of you forgot about that

John: bitch you thought

Asslo: im gonna invite elaine in and she's gonna say that it was all a misunderstanding

Asslo has invited Elaine into the chat.

Elaine: and then im gonna count to ten

Asslo: DAMN IT ELAINE

Asslo: THIS IS THE GROUP CHAT

Elaine: and then im gonna count to ten while you make the popcorn

John: we're not stupid

John: unlike you

Sera: aNd tHeN i'M gOnNa cOuNt tO tEn

Isen: complete the sentence elaine

Elaine: no

Remi: even i know what to keep in the private chat

Asslo: honestly i thought remi was a good girl

Remi: bitch you thought

John: one of us one of us

Sera: ok but seriously

Sera: i kinda wanna know what elaine was gonna say

Asslo: no elaine

Elaine: im not telling you

Elaine: tis not for your eyes

Blyke: elaine

Blyke: i think we need to kick you out again

Elaine: tbh the only reason why i got out of this chat was because there were too many damn messages while i was doing my homework

John: skdgnls

John: sjdkglks

John: usdgjsd

John: ijdskljsdkl

John: sdjglksdjfsld

John: jskdfhkjsdf

John: hsdkjhkjfsd

John: aksjfhkjash

John: jdkfklajslkasd

John: jkdasfhlkajfslk

John: dfjlksafjflkasdj

John: kasdjflas

John: jashfkjlasdj

John: jshdfjkldsjkl

John: kjsdhfkjsdhn

John: jsfkljsdlk

John: shall i continue?

Elaine: no pls

John: i thought so

Sera: johnnnn

John: waht

Sera: can we get back to what we were doing

Sera: and blyke, isen, and remi

Sera: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE DORM

Blyke: ok

Isen: ok

Remi: crash at my place




coming next: 

John: sadistic bitch go put up your barrier and cry

Asslo: nO


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