TW// self-hate, mentions of self-harm, anxiety, coughing(?)
BadBoyHalo's Point OF View:
-CALL ENDED-
"Wha-? What happened? SKEPPY?" I continued coughing and calling out my friend's name but no reply. I was alone again. It felt like the world around me went black. It was scary yet comforting.
I couldn't feel the pain from my cuts. I didn't feel tired. I only felt cold. Then I remembered what Skeppy said. I-I..I am booking tickets to come to you. I can't deal with this...Bad please take care of yourself and get some rest. I will text you when I get more information for when I am coming."
My heart started to beat faster and faster. But it wasn't like before. I could feel my checks going red. I liked this feeling. I want to feel like this more often.
"Love you...Bad"
Did he mean that? Probably not. Why would he? There isn't anything good about me. Take one look at my comment section and suddenly a thousand people will agree with you. I began to feel cold again. "I am too tired for this" I said under my breath as if someone would be able to hear me through the walls.
I got up from the couch and made my way to my bedroom where my cute little doggo was peacefully sleeping. "Aww Rat. How can there be such a cute creature like you one this planet. It is impossible." I say as I kneel and scratch her head.
I take another look in my room. It truly was a mess. "I mean, THE Skeppy is visiting. I might as well clean everything up." I say as I get on my feet and bring a trash bag from the kitchen.
Cleaning everything up, being as quite as possible, I finally finish cleaning the house. It was a small and easy task but it still put a smile on my face. I noticed the clock on my bedside table, "12:21 pm. I still haven't eaten breakfast...Should I even bother. When I stream or do face cam, the chat and comments are filled with "UglyBoyHalo"...A-am I fat?"
A million and one thoughts flood my brain. Maybe that is why they say I am ugly. Maybe I should stop eating completely. Not like I ate much anyways. What could go wrong?
Even though my stomach was basically begging me for food, I just ignored it and sat on the couch, browsing through the television channels not really caring about what was playing. I started zoning out when suddenly I heard a sound coming from my phone.
I turn off the TV now paying full attention to the smaller screen in my hands. It was a text. A text from Skeppy.
Skep <3
-Hello Bad, just letting you know that I have booked a plane and I will be visiting you in the next three days. I know this might be a surprise for you and I deeply apologize but I am worried about you. I just want to let you know that you are loved and I truly care about you. Get on TS when you feel comfortable and want to talk. Take your time. Much love <33
A wide smile forms on my face. This man truly knows how to make me happy.
Surprised by the lack of grammar errors I decide to text him back.
You/BadBoy
Hello Skeppy. Can we please TS in 5 minutes >_>? I want to discuss our meet-up. Also I am sorry if I sounded a bit off I am perfectly fine! No need to worry ^-^ Anyways talk to you in a bit!-
As I press "sent" I quickly get up from the couch and open the door to my room. I was greeted by Rat's small snores. I make my way tip toeing to my computer, moving my mouse around for the screen to open.
The smile on my face slowly began to fade as I saw the YouTube comments tab open. I lower the window and I open TeamSpeak waiting for Skeppy to join.
A small buzzing came from my phone. Another message from Skeppy
Skep <3
-Hey I am on TS I will call yiu gaivea m y ojne sdec
I scoff at his grammar mistakes still waiting for him to call me. Why do his messages always make me smile?
Maybe he did care. When he messaged me before. Taking his time to type out every word and thinking of the most fitting one to use. Maybe...maybe I can trust him
No.
Don't let your guard down Bad... He will backstab you like all the others. Just you wait...just you wait.
...
You were moved to a channel
User joined your channel
[Bold = Skeppy Normal=Bad]
"Hello?" a recognizable voice said. "Bad can you hear me?" His voice makes me happy. I could listen to him talking about random things for hours and I would never get bored.
"Bad. Bad? BAD? BAD!" I snap back into reality.
"Sorry I zoned out...did you say something?" I hear a sigh full of disappointment coming from my headset.
"Bad you seem to be zoning out quite a lot are you okay? How much did you sleep last night?" A small drop of sweat appeared on my cheek. Oh no...
"I sl-slept plenty! D-don't you worry Geppy!" I quickly mute my microphone and let out a chocked sob. Or at least I thought I did.
"Bad what was that? Are you crying? Are you okay? Please talk to me...Don't cut me out of your life. You can trust me I promise...please just...be honest." Oh no no no..NO NO!
"I am f-fine! I pr-promise I just...I just hav-ve a sore throat, that-that's it!" I sobbed again without mutting my mic.
"Bad you clearly ARE NOT FINE! Please don't cry and just be honest..."
...
No reply. Only silence. I didn't want to reply... But I knew I had to at some point.
As I open my mouth another sob came out. My eyes were filled with burning hot tears.
"Listen...Bad. I know this is hard for you. I wish I were there to comfort you. To wipe those tears out of your face. To hug you tightly until you felt safe. But I can't. My plane leaves in three days. I know this might be difficult for you but please, for those days that I won't be there, take care of yourself. Do it for me okay? Just do for me. I hate this. Seeing you sad not being able to hold you and cheer you up. It truly sucks...So please. Just...Just..."
"Just talk to me."
[Word Count:1.099]
[Author's Note]:
Hello to the people who read this! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I am sorry if there is too much angst; fluff is coming soon don't worry. Again, I apologize if I made any typos. Writing is really fun and I sometimes get carried away and write too much, so I am sorry if it doesn't make sense. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them :] I will have hopefully uploaded Chapter three by the end of this week :D
Until then, have a good morning/evening/night :D
-Mel