I headed back home to get ready to stream. I filled up my water bottle and went upstairs to my room. I turned on my pc and started streaming. 2k is my average viewer count. I started doing twitch because I've been watching YouTube and streams for as long as I can remember. It's been a dream of mine for a while but at the moment I'm only focusing on the money from donations. I'm trying to raise enough money to get a better house. I've had troubles getting real jobs at other places. I've applied to what seems like a hundred, but most the time I don't make it passed that point. I've made the job a few times but I always mess it up in the next month.
After saying bye to my stream I jumped into bed and went under the covers. All I wanted to do is lay in bed for hours maybe even days and never get up. I've lost motivation to do a lot. I just feel so drained all the time. I turned on Netflix and searched for a show. After turning a romance movie on I drifted off to sleep.
I ended up sleeping for 9 hours. I woke up at 2am and couldn't go back to sleep. I put my headphones on to play my Spotify playlist. I decided to get my lazy bum up and force myself to clean up my room a bit. I was halfway done I flopped onto my bed and closed my eyes. Tears started falling from my eyes. Everything seems so difficult. What I needed was a drive to clear my mind.
It was pouring down with rain once I stepped outside. Exactly what I needed, I love the rain. The roaring of the water splashing on the ground was the only thing I could hear. I jogged to my car and quickly hopped in.
Music blasting in my car rushing down the motorway with no other cars around me. The beauty of the all the lights gave me peace. I love the nighttime. It's my favorite part of the day. I blasted music from the speakers. I drove and drove for thirty minutes.
Wiping the mascara running down my cheeks I parked in a parking lot and turned down the music. All my thoughts rushing through my head at once. I don't have to much going on right now but why can't life be like my books...