Mikasa's POV
"Bro! You should come out with us. We don't hang out much anymore." Jean sits down the usual spot we hang out after class.
"We miss you Armin. Hope you will join us too even just for today." I said smiling at him as he look uninterested.
Ever since Armin came back to school, we have shielded him from constant whispers and rumors spreading because of what happened to Annie. Armin too, still haven't moved on.
"I'm good guys. I want to help Erwin on the business anyway you know, Dad. They're quite busy." He scratched the back of his neck trying to smile at us.
He is trying.
"It's okay bro. Just do your thing. Come back to us when you're done." Eren says as he pats his shoulder.
"Thanks man." He bumps his fist to Eren's fist too.
"Armin.. I hope you stay longer with us. We don't want to see you alone." Historia was teary eyed. These past few months have been nothing but painful to all of us.
"But we don't want to stress you man." Connie added.
"Armin you can have my snacks just stay with us." Sasha gave her food to him which made the atmosphere a little bright.
I want to give her more food now.
"I cant.." Armin says making everyone halt to their tracks.
"Everytime I see Historia..or any blonde here in school, I wish it was Annie." He says which made all of us silent.
"Me too Armin. I feel you. We understand." Ymir says but he looked even sadder.
"No, it's even harder for me. I don't want to look at everyone and think of Annie. She's the only one. She can't be compared to others. That's what make me even problematic." He hisses as he ruffled his hair.
"You don't have to go hard on yourself. Let it go. You can cry on us." Eren says which made everyone agreed.
I feel proud of him. I thought all he does with Armin together is doing stupid things like how they talk about trying girls' make up but he does know what to say especially at times like this. I feel like a proud girlfriend that I am.
"Thank you so much guys but I think I have to deal with myself first. I don't want you to feel bad or anything. It's not your fault she died earlier than we expected." Armin sighs.
"I have to go. See you guys!" Armin waves his goodbye as he walk away.
Months passed and everyone got busy on their own. They helped their parents, they managed companies, they went for a job, etc. I think we suddenly are strangers. We don't talk anymore.
Eren also because of the situation we are currently in is a little sad. His playmate Armin is not responding to his calls. He wants to hang out with him but he doesn't pick up.
"Eren it's alright. I'm sure Armin has reasons."
I have always said that to him until he started acting distant towards me again.
"Eren..Did I do anything wrong again?" I asked nervously. He didn't talk.
"Oh I'm sorry I'm just thinking of something." He says and I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Thinking about what?" I asked curiously but he glared at me.
"You are so annoying. Don't you know how to shut up?" He abruptly stood and my mouth went hanged open.
I was too shocked I couldn't almost breathe. Tears started brimming from my eyes as I looked at him walking away from the seat next to me.
Did I ask incorrectly?
Should I apologize to him?
Weeks passed and he remained the same way. He treats me coldly. Like I am some virus he wants to avoid so badly and I felt horrible. I felt like I did something wrong.
Where did I go wrong?
I always asked that every night I lie in bed. I open my phone to see if he texted me anything of called me but no. He did not even bother to look at me every time we eat at the kitchen with everyone.
Graduation came in. I became the salutatorian and Armin became valedictorian and he only texted me congrats and didn't talk about then since.
Everyone is going to enter college. I planned on getting into business as I want to help Carla but Eren took a medical course like his father did. I even heard someone fighting when we went to the mansion again.
"Mikasa? Did you two Eren had a fight again?" Carla asks. I stiffed and denied.
"No..We're just both tired from university Carla. It's no big deal." I forced myself to smile even if deep inside, after all this time, it's tearing me apart.
"I'm really glad that Eren chose the course he wants to take. You know this family is complicated. It sometimes makes me want to quit. I'm kidding! There's no way I will quit." What did I do to deserve a second mom like Carla?
She is such an angel.
"Yeah. I'll be there in a minute." I heard the familiar voice talking to someone on his phone.
I felt angry, sad, dramatic, pathetic, I feel bad every time he goes near me but ignores me.
"Young boy where are you going at this hour?" Carla was folding our clothes when he slightly hit Eren with hangers.
"Owww mom that's embarrassing." He says as he take a look at me but I looked away minding the plates I am currently washing.
I don't want him to look at me and read my eyes wanting so much affection from him because I miss him too much.
"Why are you going out at this time? Are you dating someone huh? Don't keep secrets from your mom Eren or I will beat you." Carla was acting scary but I didn't mind them.
Dating someone?
Nice.
I smiled bitterly as I slightly got the plates slipping each other making a loud sound.
"Sorry." I said as I immediately piled them and went to my bed.
I honestly need a sign. I don't know what to do anymore at how heavy my heart is already in.
It's decided. I HATE MEN.
I HATE MEN PERIOD I HATE EREN.
Men? Eren? Rhyme of course because I hate them both to death.
I slapped myself on the mirror repeatedly. I fucking hate men. But I found tears in my eyes as I kept telling my mind like that. My tears are betraying me. Maybe because I've had enough?
For the longest time. I waited for him 2 years long enough if he will explain to me why he went cold at me all of a sudden but he did nothing. I tried to reached out for him countless of times, with or without people around us, he still didn't say anything.
I'm not a robot, I deserve to end this painful path and be happy. Even if that means getting him out of my system.
I heard my phone rang. Is this the sign?
"An unknown number?" I asked to myself as I hopped into my bed.
"Hello?" I responded.
"Moshi moshi! Mikasa-sama, I hope you won't put this call down..." a voice of an old lady came in and I flashed a weird face at whatever ghost I have in my room.
"Uhm.. I'm sorry. I am Mikasa but I can't understand what you're implying." I said as matter of fact.
"I have searched for you all over the world and you live in this horrible country. God, Hizuru-sama's soul may rest in peace." The old woman says.
Huh?
"Umm thank you for your time Ma'am but I have to sleep." I said but she stopped me.
"Don't you want to know where you really came from Mikasa-sama?" The other line said and I stopped moving.
"Do you know about who I am Ma'am?" I asked silently.
"More than you could ever imagine Mikasa-sama. Call me Kiyomi. I will arrange a meeting with you tomorrow. Oyasuminasai Mikasa-sama." She says and she hanged up.
Oyasuminasai? Japanese?
I immediately typed it on google and I was right. The old lady must be from Japan then and she is looking for me? Why me?
I need to find out about what she wants from me and how come she knows me.
I need answers.
The past 2 years and everything have been divided to indescribable situations that either lead me to love myself more or hate it as much as I want to bury my body alive.
I could no longer turn back time but I can be able to get to know who I really am and that alone is already enough for me at this point where the only person I care the most doesn't fucking care.
Once again, I hate men.