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"Ouch," I muttered as my ribs constricted in pain.
He pulled me up off the ground carefully and wrapped his arm around my waist. I supported my weight by putting my hand on his shoulder.
I started hopping with him toward the exit but I stopped him. "I left my friend and a teacher in the classroom." I mumbled.
He kept his eyes forward as he nodded.
As we walked, my head and face started to throb in pain along with my ribs. I clenched my teeth to stop myself from crying and thankfully it was working. I glanced at Cam to see his face hadn't changed. There was a new emotion in his eyes that I could only describe as anger or worry. Maybe even both.
"Cameron?"
He stopped walking and looked down at me.
I searched his eyes quickly but then my eyes drifted to the side of his head where there was a trail of red moisture. "You're bleeding."
He turned his head forward and continued walking. "When the lights blew, a piece of glass flew to my head." He said in a low and shaky voice.
"Are you alright?"
He glanced at me. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?" I just stared at him. He sighed. "I'm angry. I'm fine otherwise. But how are you?"
We stopped in front of the classroom and I opened the door. "I'm fine."
He chuckled without any trace of humour. "What's the use in lying?"
"Fine. My stomach is hurting so I'm pretty sure something's happened to my ribs. I got punched in the face and thrown against a wall so I feel really dizzy."
"Hmm..." He carefully placed me on one of the tables. "We have to hurry. People nearby heard the noise and called he police. What happened to these two?"
"I put them to sleep. I'm too tired to do anything else and I'm not entirely sure how I did it in the first place." I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands. I was so drained it was unbelievable.
Suddenly, I heard rustling and footsteps. I opened my eyes to see the back of Jay walking out of the door. Mr. Williams wasn't in the room anymore but Cam was.
"What...?"
"They won't remember this," He said. "Your friend left at..." He looked at the big clock on the wall that said quarter to seven "Five thirty before any of this started. He didn't need to take you home because your mother came to pick you up. Your teacher left at quarter to six."
I blinked. He did that all in thirty seconds!
I heard sirens from afar. Cam left the room and came back with my bag, coat and jacket. I grabbed my coat and jacket and quickly shrugged them on. I stood up slowly.
Cam surprised me by knocking my feet out from under me and cradling me to his chest. He placed my bag on my lap and smiled down at me.
"Excuse me?" I squealed.
"Hold your breath." I didn't think twice about taking a deep death and closing my eyes. The wind hit my face at full speed and after a moment so did the rain. It was still pouring rain and the faster we went the more rain hit us.
I heard the horrible flesh ripping sound and felt his body vibrate. Before I even had time to open my eyes and blink we were lifting off the ground at a slightly slower speed than on the ground.
I started breathing normally as I looked down at the world. It was so sure surreal being up here. Like the world was separate to me.
It was still raining pretty hard but as we got higher above the clouds it started to slow. I glanced at Cam and back around. This is the second time I'd been so high. Well, this is my second time flying. First time, I remember when I was human. When Gabriel finally admitted what he was. And I admitted I loved him.
Hard to believe most of that only happened a month ago. It seemed like it was ages ago.
Cam started to slow down a little as we plunged back into the thick clouds. We landed softly on grass in my backyard which surprised me. When did I ever tell him where I lived?
His wings were still stretched out which gave me a chance to look. They were so different. I don't remember anything about slightly gold colored wings. His wings were mostly white with hints of gold.
"Which is your window," He asked me. He had to shout slightly over the rain.
"The one with the ledge." I said.
He hovered up, managed to somehow balance me with one arm and open my window which was thankfully unlocked. His wings retracted back into his back but I didn't watch. I heard it all that was enough.
He carefully stepped into my room, located my bed and placed me on the edge.
He closed the window, went to my table and turned on the lamp. This was the first time I was seeing him in the light tonight. The blood had washed off his face in the rain but still had a little seeping out of his cut. His hair was sticking up in different directions and his shirt was stuck to his very well sculptured chest.
I don't get it, is it an angel thing? Does it have to be in their contract that they have rock hard pecks and a six or eight pack?
I sighed.
He walked into the bathroom and I heard my cupboard open and close. He walked back in with disinfectant and cotton pads.
I wasn't bleeding was I?! I searched my head and felt nothing; I touched the side on my face softly and flinched but felt no blood. But when I pulled my coat and jacket off and looked down at my arms, they were covered in small cuts.
He pulled my computer chair from my desk and sat in front of me. He started pouring a little disinfectant on the fluffy pieces of cotton. He grabbed one of my arms but I stopped him.
"You don't have to."
He just looked at me and carried on. It stung as soon as the acid touched my arm. I cringed and tried to pull my arm away but his hold tightened. He did both arms in record time both stinging like hell when I grabbed the cotton and disinfectant from him. I poured a little on the cotton and went for his head.
"The wound on your head--"
"Don't worry about that," He interrupted pushing my hand away. "We heal fast."
"We do?" That was news to me. But I narrowed my eyes. "It's getting on my nerves. It keeps bleeding every five seconds."
"I'll live." When he said that he turned his head away.
I scowled and touched it to his head anyway. He flinched a little and shut his eyes.
"By the way," I started. "Thank you... For coming so quickly."
His eyes popped open and he grabbed my hand from his head. "Why did you call me?"
I frowned and turned away. "Does it matter? I needed help and I asked you."
"Yes, it matters and I want to know why you didn't call Gabriel."
"Who says I didn't call Gabriel first?"
"Because a call like that would have brought Gabriel there faster than I. Why didn't you call him? Why did you call me?"
I asked myself the same question.
Why didn't I call Gabriel? Why did I call someone I barely knew?
I shut my eyes.
That's the thing though, I do know him. I was sure that I knew him in a way that I probably know Gabriel now. That's the vibe I was getting right now. I didn't before because I didn't want to accept it.
But why did I call him? That didn't explain the fact that I called him.
"One reason I called you is because Gabriel was meeting Axel and he would have gone crazy if he knew about this. And another reason is..." I shook my head slowly. "I..."
"What?" He asked softly.
I opened my eyes. His face was blank but his eyes were begging me to carry on.
"I... I... can't stop the fact that you and I are closer than I thought. I called you because even though I hate to admit it, I do trust you. And..." Several image flashed through my mind. In the past I used to call Cameron. All the time actually. If I was in trouble he used to come to my aid.
Even when I knew Gabriel.
"I used to call you if I was in trouble. Even when I knew Gabriel I used to call you. Not Gabriel." I inhaled sharply. "Why?" I asked him and myself. "What are you to me, Cameron?"
His hand tightened around mine and his nostrils flared. "Alexis-"
"Here we go," I interrupted. "The lie. The excuse. Everything but the truth. Get it over and done with so you can leave."
"I'm not leaving yet." He stated firmly. "Not until I've said what I need to say,"
"Fine."
His spare hand lifted toward my face but hen he dropped it. "I can show you that memory."
The memory.
I nodded gently and watched him lift his hand again. His hand covered the good side of my face.
Everything came in a rush. It was exactly how it was in my dream: I was watching it like a movie.
-
It was horrible. There were black feathers, bodies and blood everywhere. I gasped and flew my hands to my mouth. It was a disturbing sight.
There was smoke overhead and the day was a grim grey. It was battlefield. It was horribly silent as I watched my past self rush around.
She was hyperventilating as she looked down at the bodies and rushed to the next one. Her arms were covered in cuts and bruises and her face had spots of blood splashed on her cheek and forehead. Her t-shirt was ripped at the collar and up the side.
"Lonny!"
I turned around at the same time she did. Gabriel looked almost the same except he looked even more beaten up.
Lonny's teeth clenched and she carried on looking around but quicker than before.
Gabe ran to her and grabbed her from behind. "Lonny, stop."
She thrashed out of his arms and growled. "No! I'm not stopping until I find him."
She resumed looking around until she stopped mid stride.
Cameron was on the floor. Unmoving. His naked chest was covered in blood. There was a very large open wound on the side of his stomach that made me feel the tiniest bit nauseous.
She dropped to her knees next to him and burst into tears. Her hands went to the sides of his face as she started begging him in Enochian to wake up. I watched Gabriel's facial expression cross with anger and pain.
Cam's eyes suddenly opened.
Lonny laughed a little and put her hands on his chest. "Cam,"
He smiled. "Hey stranger," He strained and winced.
She inhaled and exhaled sharply.
My legs started to shake and I could feel the moisture welling up in my eyes. Now that I could feel every emotion my past self could, I could feel everything she could. She was dying inside.
Her heart was breaking.
"Stay with me. Promise me. Don't leave me, not yet." She begged in English.
His smile turned soft and weak. "I don't know if I can keep that promise."
"Lonny..." Gabriel whispered.
"He's not going to die." She snapped at him. "Remember 1988? You said you would protect me. You said you'd give your life for me?"
1988?
What year was it...?
"Well, it works both ways." She whispered in his ear. She leant her forehead against his and kept her hands on his chest. "I'd give my life for you."
This was the picture. This is what I saw the other night.
Cameron tried to shake his head. "Don't you dare..." His eyes closed but he was still breathing heavily.
Lonny stood up and looked at Gabriel. "You understand that the next time I reincarnate, it will be my decision?"
Gabriel stared at her in disbelief.
"Do you?" She asked softly.
He nodded slowly. "Don't do it again. We don't have to reincarnate again. You can wait until your decision."
His hands landed on her cheeks and he brought their faces closer together. "Don't..."
"I'm not going to let him die." She whispered. She smiled at him as she said, "I love you Gabriel."
She turned out of his hold but he stopped her. He stared at her. "Do you?"
I felt a twinge of pain in my chest but with her, I could see it on her face. "How could you say that?"
He ran a hand through my hair and frowned. "Lonny... I can see it. There isn't a need to hide it."
She blinked at him. "What?"
"You have feelings for him." He frowned deeper.
She shook her head fiercely. "No. No, I don't." The lie in her voice was clear. Even I could hear it.
Gabriel tilted his head. I could feel her every emotion. Regret, pain, heartache... Why regret? What could she have done?
Lonny turned out of his hand. "Gabriel..."
"You've known him longer than you've known anyone. I expected it."
She stared at him for a moment and then kissed him. It was a passionate kiss that only lasted a few seconds but it said what needed to be said: She loved him, not Cam.
But inside I knew what she was thinking. I knew what she was feeling. I only saw a flash of it but it was enough. Lonny's (my) lips were pressed against someone else's. I couldn't see the person as it was only half a picture of their lips. But who couldn't guess who it was?
She lied to Gabriel that day. She lied to both Gabriel and herself. She wasn't fooling anyone.
She pulled away and dropped next to Cameron. She put her forehead to his again and spread her hands on his chest. "I'll see you in 21 years, Cameron."
Cam's eyes opened and a weak protest escaped his lips.
I brought my hand up to my chest at the sudden clenching pain. Lonny did the same but carried on. My eyes widened. Cam's wound was healing slowly and the beat of his heart was becoming stronger as mine and Lonny's became weaker.
Gabriel had turned his back away from the scene.
I couldn't watch anymore. I shook my head and tried to wake myself up.
-
When I blinked I was back in my room. I jumped up from my seat and took deep breaths.
Her emotions were now mine. Her body was mine. I was her. I am her. I always have been her.
The feelings I have for Gabriel are the same as hers. I love him. I always will. But the feelings I had toward Cameron weren't the same.
Not yet.
I shook my head and dropped my head in my hands. I didn't want to feel that way for Cameron. I couldn't. I wouldn't. Letting him this close was bad.
I wanted to know more about him to unlock more memories but now I'm scared to go near him. I lifted my head out of my hands and turned to him.
Cameron was staring at me. Waiting.
A growl ripped through my chest. "Get out."
He stood up. "No."
"I swear to god, Cameron if you don't get out I'll make you get out."
"Why should I leave?" He asked. "I haven't said what I wanted to say. I'm not finished."
"Well I am!" I whispered harshly.
I heard footsteps outside my door. I grabbed Cam's shirt and pushed him into my open closet.
I kicked my shoes off, grabbed a magazine from my desk and sat on my bed pretending to read it. My hands were shaking as I opened it and lifted it to cover the bruised side of my face. What made everything worse was that my clothes were soaking wet which made my bed wet which meant I either had to change my sheets or heat myself up a little to make them dry quicker. Even though right now I was angry and probably hotter than an average day in the middle of summer.
My door opened but I didn't look up to see who it was.
"Alex?" It was my father. "When did you get home?"
"Ahh..." My voice was also shaking so I cleared my throat and spoke fast. "Twenty minutes ago. Didn't you see me come in?"
"No," He sounded confused. "Does your mother know you're home?"
"No."
"Oh, well, okay." He mumbled. "How was school? Everyone happy to see you back?"
"Yeah, dad can we talk about it later? I'm really tired."
"Okay. If your hungry dinners in the fridge."
I nodded and watched the back of him as he walked out and shut the door. Cameron came out of the closet.
I stood up and faced him. "When was it?"
He stared at me for a moment before he said, "The end of 1989."
It felt like the breath had been knocked out of me because I suddenly needed to sit down. But I kept my feet firmly on the ground and clenched my hands into fists. I needed to stay strong. "I was born in 1992."
"It takes a few years." He muttered. "In the memory I don't think either of you were aware of how conscious I was. I heard everything. But I never let Gabriel know this. He already knew about my feelings toward you."
"You couldn't have had feelings for me." I heard myself say. "We had been friends for... Well ever."
"In your human life you were friends with Gabriel for half of it. Why is this situation any different?"
I didn't like how much he was making sense. And I didn't even want to think about it. I shook my head slowly. "I need you to leave."
"Not yet," He started walking toward me so now he was stood right in front of me. "I need to say something to you that I never got to say before."
I was frightened to be here with him. I kept my mind on Gabriel. I made sure to turn any other thought to Gabriel and only him.
Cam's hand buried itself in my hair like it did in the forest. My mind went blank.
"Thank you," He said quietly. "So much. You gave your life for mine. I never had the chance to thank you for it. And if you don't see something in that then you are truly blind." He smiled. "You are my friend. You always will be. But in my heart there will always be a more."
"Stop." I begged.
"Not until I've finished." His blue eyes bored into mine. His body was too close. His face was too close to mine. But I couldn't bring myself to move. "You love Gabriel. But you can't hide the feelings you have for me."
"I don't know you," I muttered unconfidently. "How could I have feelings for you?"
"I know you do. I can feel it."
No. I won't. I don't.
"You're body's heating up."
"From anger," I replied.
"Are you sure?" His other hand landed on my waist. I shook my head but it wasn't to disagree with the statement, it was to try and clear my head. "Tell me to leave."
I tried not to hesitate when I said, "Leave."
"Mean it this time,"
"Leave..." I mumbled. His body was even closer. I put my hands on his chest and tried to ignore the beating of his heart. Just the thought of me giving up my life for him made my own heart beat rapidly. And right now it was matching his.
I wanted to push him away. But I couldn't bring myself to do it.
His forehead rested on mine. "Again."
My eyes were wide open and so were his. They were too intense. Too open. "Leave," I whispered.
When his hands tightened on my waist and hair the memory came in a fast wave.
-
"Just admit it, Lonny," Cameron yelled. "You can't hide from me anymore."
She pushed at his chest. "There's nothing to hide!"
I looked around the dark country yard and wondered which country they were in because this was sure as hell not America. There was a car in a barn not far away which told me that it couldn't have been too long ago. I looked at the registration and noticed it was European.
The shouting disrupted my thoughts. "Why do you continue to lie to yourself? Where is it getting you?"
She laughed without any trace of humour. "Who are you to say I'm lying to myself. Don't touch me." He tried to grab her arms but she pulled away. "My feelings toward you are the same as it always has been. Neutral---"
This time he laughed. "Bullshit." He cursed. When he grabbed her waist this time she didn't push him away. "Absolute bullshit. I'm telling you now that I've fallen for you and you react like this? Like it really is a surprise?"
"You can't suddenly---"
"Who said it was sudden?" He argued.
Lonny stared at him incredulously for a moment. Even I couldn't believe a word he was saying. How long had he felt that way?
His hand buried in her hair the way he did with me. "I've always felt this way. And then Gabriel came along. He ruined everything."
Her eyes burned with anger. "Don't talk about Gabriel that way."
"See?" His knuckle grazed her cheek. My hand touched my cheek as he did it again. It tingled as if I had really been touched. "You know me, Lon. You've been with me through everything. I've been with you through everything. I'd give my life for you, Lonny. I'll always protect you."
Oh. This was a year before the massacre. 1988.
Her eyes were welling up. "But..."
His lips touched an escaped tear rolling down her cheek and I swear I felt it as well. "Just this once, don't listen to your head." His lips were mere centimeters away from hers. "Don't listen to anything. Not even your heart. Just feel."
And then it happened.
But this memory happened differently to others. It felt like I was actually her. It felt like she was me. I was actually in the memory. Not like before when I was watching but I was there. Feeling it.
I could feel the warmth of his lips on mine as she finally responded. Her hands lifted and buried into his short blonde hair. Her hands were hesitant at first but then she sunk into it. He applied the tiniest bit of pressure which deepened the kiss. Their lips moved in synchronised movements as she lost herself in him. She lost herself in the kiss, in just being in his company and thought of absolutely nothing else.
His hair was soft. His lips were soft... But it was so different...
Her eyes popped open and she stepped away from him. I could literally feel her brain working and figuring out what had just happened.
"No," She whispered in a shaky voice. "This shouldn't have happened." She sounded so uncertain it was unbelievable. She straightened her black t-shirt that looked like it said "MTV Spring Break 80s" on it. Her face became blank as she walked around him. "We have to stay focused. We have a year until the battle and we can't afford to be distracted."
"Lon---"
"Just leave me please..." And with that she walked away from him.
-
Cameron stared into my eyes for another moment but then pulled away.
I touched my lips. The memory felt real... so real. And now, damn myself, I was curious.
"Maybe I should leave." He moved toward the window and gave me a long lingering look before jumping out.
Before I realized what I was doing I followed him. I landed with a quiet yelp of pain as my ribs protested. It was still pouring rain outside. My t-shirt was soaked in an instant as I walked to catch up to Cameron. "Wait."
He stopped and looked over his shoulder. I had to push myself to do it. To get it out of my system. To see if I did have feelings for him.
"I want to try something,"
Before he could respond I walked around him so I was stood in front of him. Although his face was blank, his blue eyes were filled need and heat.
I put my hands on either side of his face and pulled his head down to my level until his lips were on mine.
Both of our eyes were open. He was staring at me in surprise and I was waiting for his reaction.
But before I could gauge it, my eye lids felt decided to drop. His hands were on my waist as he pulled our bodies closer.
It was a soft simple kiss. He didn't deepen it or try to for which I was thankful for. But the way his hands tightened and kept me in place moulded against his chest was enough to tell me that we didn't need to. That this was enough to express the way he felt.
In truth, with Cameron I did feel something.
But it wasn't enough for me to drop everything and run to him instead of Gabriel. I suddenly felt guilt overwhelm me. What was I doing?
I pulled back from Cameron and stared at him. He stared back for a moment but then he turned his head to the right.
I followed his gaze and immediately felt my arms go limp to my sides and my heart drop into my stomach.
For the first time since I've changed, I felt cold. I felt dead.
I shut my eyes. If I could die right now, I think now would be right. I don't think I deserve to live.
I opened them again and stepped away from Cameron.
When I opened my mouth to explain myself nothing came out except his name:
"Gabriel..."
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(partially edited: 2023)
Appreciate :P Especially you writing_dreamer :S SORRY!! :L:L. <--- THANKS FOR THE HELP!! Much obliged :)