A few days had passed since then. Robert hadn't gotten any calls from Simon, which he supposed was a good thing. Robert needed to set that boundary, despite feeling so down and out of it…
Robert had called Mary, said he was feeling sort of depressed as an excuse not to see her. Robert didn't feel bad for lying to her, he just needed space. He needed time to be alone and think, and that’s exactly what Robert did. He would still attend band practice and such, he would write a few songs here and there in his past time but… Robert still couldn't stop thinking about simon.
Robert flexed his hand, inspecting the now faded bruises on his knuckles from when he punched the street light in a fit of anger. Robert sighed and laid down in his bed; he had his door shut tight and the curtains parted a bit so he could watch the clouds pass by slowly. Robert spent a lot of his free time doing this now, sitting alone in his room like he did before he met simon.
Robert felt a pang of sadness in his chest as he thought about his best friend, who had made himself scarce. Robert understood why, he wasn’t very… nice to simon the last they spoke. Robert couldn't stop thinking about how sad simon sounded. Robert hated that…
‘I miss him..’ Robert thought, closing his eyes as he ran through his memories of simon. Robert traced circles on his bed, his mind wandering off, thinking about the last time they touched. The last time they kissed…
Robert found himself missing Simon more and more with each passing day, and despite his confused feelings Robert knew he couldn't just stay away forever. They were best friends, surely if he just tried to talk it out with simon he would understand. Robert knew he was being selfish, but Robert found himself pinning over simon.
Robert closed his eyes, memories of Simon's hands on him, his hot breath on his skin…
Robert quickly sat up, rubbing his face with a frustrated groan before getting up. “I need a drink..” Robert muttered, deciding that he just needed some fresh air and a good drink to forget those dirty thoughts.
Robert grabbed the keys to his van and pulled on his shoes. The weather was soon going to start getting warm, it was almost may. Hopefully the cure would be able to release their debut album soon. That would be nice…
Robert pulled open his door and skipped down the steps, not looking particularly excited; moreso in a hurry. Robert needed some form of distraction from everything, so he thought that a drink would help. “Where are you going robert?” Rita called, poking her head out from the kitchen, “dinner is going to be ready soon! You need to eat, i haven't seen you eat in days robert” rita said sternly.
“I’ll eat later- i'm going out” robert said, grabbing the front door. “Robert!'' Rita barked, but Robert had already walked out the door, blatantly ignoring his mother.
“Tch. what has gotten into him lately” rita sighed, shaking her head and disappearing back into the kitchen.
~~~~
“Another please..” Robert slurred softly, gently pushing his empty mug towards the bartender. Robert had ended up at the same pub he met lol at, he hadn’t been there in a while; and he knew there would be a small chance of running into anyone he knew there.
“Gosh rob… having a rough day?” the bartender said, dutifully filling robert’s glass once more before setting it down in front of robert.
“You could say that '' Robert mumbled, lifting the mug to his slips and taking a long drink before wiping his mouth. The bartered eyed robert, leaning casually against the wooden bar before laying his chin in his palm. “Want to talk about it?” he said, his muddy brown eyes traveling down Robert's body; though Robert was too drunk to notice that.
“Can… you probably won't understand..” Robert said, placing his mug down before brushing his hair out of his face. “Try me.” he said, smiling kindly at robert.
Robert looked at the guy for a moment before furrowing his eyebrows, “sorry, but what was your name again? Too drunk to remember.” Robert said, tilting his head to the side.
“Eric.'' Eric replied, laughing breathily at Robert's silliness. Eric bit his lip before leaning closer, “you know robert… for a bloke, you have a pretty feminine face '' Eric said, suddenly touching robert’s chin. “Wonder if you swing that way… “ Eric mumbled to himself, and Robert suddenly realized what Eric was hinting at.
Robert’s eyes widened and he pulled away, staring at Eric before setting his jaw. “How about you just get me another shot of jack.” Robert said slowly, watching as Eric smiled and nodded his head. “Right away” Eric mused, pouring Robert another shot before sliding the drink over.
Robert grabbed the drink and quickly downed it before wiping his mouth. Robert licked his lips before standing up, eyeing Eric before turning away and simply walking to the bathroom. Robert needed to see something- he needed to know if he really was… if he really could go through with being with a man.
~~~
“Fuck..” robert hissed, leaning his head back as warm hands slid down his stomach, feeling his body. Robert didn’t know why he was doing this- or if it was even a good idea; but in his drunken mind, robert could only focus on the hands that were touching him, willing to give him the sinful pleasure he craved.
“Christ rob… your body is amazing '' Eric's voice met Robert's ear, but Robert didn’t bother to reply, he only lifted his head and looked at eric. Robert lifted his hands and grabbed fistfuls of Eric's hair, pulling him into a feverish kiss. Robert groaned, opening his mouth so Eric's tongue could meet him.
Robert had his pants down just below his hips, his erection was out in the open. His shirt was unbuttoned, exposing his chest and stomach. He was completely drunk and vulnerable. Eric pulled away from the kiss and attacked Robert's chest, using his tongue to tease Robert's nipples as his hand slowly teased Robert's cock.
“S-shit~” Robert moaned, hands tangled into Eric's hair as Eric sucked on his chest, quickly stroking his erection now. Robert’s knees trembled and he threw his head back, chest heaving with his growing arousal. “Don't… stop~” Robert mewled, bucking his hips up into Eric's hand.
However, Robert's moment of sinful euphoria quickly ended when someone walked into the men’s bathroom. Robert froze, cheeks burning, he guessed that he had forgotten to lock the door… or Eric did, he couldn't remember really.
However, what shook Robert to his core was WHO had walked in.
Robert locked eyes with Simon, eyes wide with shock. Simon stared back at him, a flurry of emotions passing through his eyes. First was shock, then sadness and jealousy, then lust…
Eric pulled away, looking at Simon with an irritated face. “Do you mind mate… we’re kind of busy.” Eric grumbled, hand still firmly grasping Robert's member. Simon’s eyes traveled down Robert's exposed body, making Robert tremble with want. “How about you get out of here… taking advantage of him while he’s drunk… you’re lucky i don't kick your ass” simon growled, looking like the devil himself.
Eric paled a bit before lifting his hands in surrender and quickly leaving Robert and Simon alone. Robert swallowed thickly, putting his hand between his legs to try and cover up. Robert felt so fucking dirty… Robert didn’t know what was happening to him anymore.
“So this is what you’re doing now… classy robert. Very classy” Simon said slowly, making Robert lower his head in shame. Robert sniffed, “i-i just… i needed to know if it was true..” robert whispered, closing his eyes. “I needed to find it out myself... '' Robert whispered, wiping his face with his hand. “You turn me away because you don't want to be with a man and then turn around to fucking shag with that- that fucking wanker?” simon hissed.
Robert suddenly felt a hand grip his face and lift it, “it’s like you’re trying to make me jealous.'' Simon whispered slowly, his dark eyes traveling down Robert's body. “N-no..” Robert whimpered, feeling his cock throb at the tone of Simon's voice.
There was a moment of silence before Simon's gaze softened and he swiped Robert's hair out of his face, his fingers lacing into Robert's hair before gripping it firmly and pulling Robert's head back. “Do you want me?” Simon said slowly, voice dripping with hunger.
Robert trembled, leaning fully back against the wall before nodding his head. “I-i do..” he admitted, knowing that Simon could see right through him in that moment. Robert closed his eyes, his skin burning with desire as Simon's free hand slowly slid down his chest. “Tch… letting a stranger just go and touch you…” simon huffed, his hand rubbing robert’s hips slowly.
“I should be the only one to see you like this..'' Simon whispered before connecting their lips into a slow, burning kiss that made Robert dizzy. Robert clung to Simon like a leech, giving himself up to Simon fully.
Robert moaned weakly against Simon's mouth, shivering in excitement as Simon's palms pressed into his skin, slowly exploring his body. This was the first time they had kissed or touched in days, Robert craved for more. He needed simon- he needed him closer, closer than they already were.
Robert gasped sharply when he felt Simon's hands slide down to his ass and grab firmly, pulling Robert closer until their groins were pressed against each other. Robert could feel Simon's hot erection against his bare one; and all too quickly Robert pulled away.
Simon looked at Robert, a hard to read look resting in his eyes as Robert collected his thoughts. “Simon i..'' Robert panted, his hazy blue eyes transfixed on Simon's mouth. “I-i need you..'' Robert croaked, eyes lifting to meet Simon's gaze.
Simon swallowed thickly, his pants suddenly becoming a bit too uncomfortable. Simon licked his lips before smirking at robert and stealing a kiss, “not here… not yet” simon hushed robert’s protests, pushing robert’s pants down more before smiling rot robert. Robert watched Simon closely, too lazy to question his motives.
Simon reached out and grasped Robert's hips, brushing his lips across robot’s for a moment before he lifted his hand to Robert's mouth. Robert made a small noise as Simon's fingers pressed against his lips, feeling them. Simo parted Robert's lips before using his fingers to feel Robert's luscious mouth, feeling his tongue and gums.
Robert whimpered, his breath coming out in short pants before he used his tongue to slide against Simon's fingers. “A-aah..~” robert moaned, closing his lips around simon's fingers and sucking on them lazily.
Simon groaned at the sight, feeling his cock throb. He wondered just how amazing Robert's mouth would feel wrapped around his cock, how pretty Robert would look on his knees in front of him. “Fuck… that’s it robert…” Simon breathed, allowing Robert to do as he pleased for a brief moment before taking his hand away and pulling Robert close.
“Hook your leg around mine '' Simon ordered, watching as Robert obeyed almost immediately. Simon leaned down and kissed Robert's lips as he dove his hand down between Robert's legs and slowly circled his fingers around Robert's tight hole. A guttural moan rose form robert, and he wrapped his arm around simon’s shoulders, robert pulled his head away and buried it into simon’s shoulder, mouth agape with astonishment as simon pushed two fingers into him.
The sensation made robert cringe- it burned…
“Relax…” simon crooned, peppering kisses on robert’s neck as he slowly moved his fingers. Simon knew it hurt the first time taking anything up there, and even though he wasn’t planning on fucking robert in the bathroom- he might as well see how robert could handle himself.
Robert trembled, pained gasps soon turning into weak moans of pleasure. Robert kept his eyes screwed shut, feeling Simon's fingers caressing his insides so slowly, the pleasure was mind numbing, it was like Simon was searching for something.
‘S-shit~ simon~" Robert moaned, unconsciously pushing his hips down onto simon’s fingers. Robert clung to Simon, feeling like he would collapse onto the floor at any moment as Simon thrust his fingers into him, gradually picking up speed until Robert's voice grew louder and more wanton.
“F-fuck simon~ f-feels~” robert choked out, barely able to speak. “I know rob… Christ, seeing you practically fuck yourself in my fingers, im so fucking hard for you..” simon groaned, curling his fingers inside of robert and abusing his prostate. Robert, not expecting that sudden burst of pleasure, cried out Simon's name and came prematurely.
Robert gripped Simon's shirt tightly, a few tears of pleasure staining his cheeks as Simon slowly moved his fingers inside of him. Simon Let out a shaky breath, slowly pulling his fingers out of Robert's tight hole before smothering Robert with kisses, pinning him against the wall. Robert moaned weakly, still holding onto Simon's shoulders to keep from falling.
“Robert… you- you’re amazing” simon groaned, cupping robert’s face gently.
Robert licked his lips before gazing at Simon, feeling like he could cry. That was probably the most pleasurable thing he had ever experienced, but to Robert's horror a man had caused that. Robert didn’t know what he should do…
He was utterly confused. Confused and horny..
~~~
Robert let out a heavy sigh, sitting on the stupid leather couch in barry’s studio. Another three days had passed since Robert and Simon last spoke, let alone touched. It felt tense in the studio, Robert didn’t dare to look at simon; he was afraid of what he might see, of what he might feel.
Robert ran a hand through his hair before ringing his hand to his mouth to chew his nails. Robert shifted in his seat in an uncomfortable manner before crossing his legs and sinking down further into the couch, desperately wanting to leave the room.
“Alright… it won't be long now lads, soon you’ll be able to release your debut album. Are you excited?'' Barry asked in a light hearted manner, trying his best to lighten up the heavy atmosphere in the room. “I am. I think it’s going really well” lol said, smiling weakly before looking over to Simon and robert.
Simon sat with a cigarette in his mouth, looking tired. Simon didn’t bother to look at Robert either, there was just a tense silence between them. It made Robert sad but- he just couldn't bring himself to talk to simon. Robert forced a smile before sitting forward, “yeah i'm excited as well.. Hopefully things go smoothly” Robert said, finally stealing a glance at simon.
Simon took in a breath before looking out the window, lips pressed into a thin line. Robert bit his tongue before looking to barry. “When do you think we’ll be able to release the album?” Robert asked softly, to which Barry thoughtfully tapped his chin.
“Maybe early may?” Barry said before flashing a smile. Barry walked over to Robert and sat down, leaning back before letting out a satisfied hum. “Soon though we will have to talk about the expenses more.” Barry suddenly brought up, eyeing the group. Robert glanced at Barry before nodding his head, “yes we are going to have to huh.” Robert said, looking to barry.
Barry nodded his head, lips pulling up into a sort of twisted smile. “Mhm.'' Barry hummed. Robert suddenly felt on edge and he looked away, scratching his chin before suddenly standing up. “Anyways… since we’re done for the day, i’m going to leave” robert mumbled awkwardly, grabbing his half empty pack of fags off the coffee table.
“Where are you going.” Simon finally spoke up, his dark brown eyes lingering on robert. Robert gripped his fags tightly before turning and looking at simon, “home. To call mary.” Robert said calmly, though he knew Simon didn’t actually believe him. Robert just needed an excuse to stay away from him, and knowing Simon's blunt nature Robert was half expecting Simon to call him out on his bullshit.
Simon’s eyes narrowed before he sighed and looked away, picking at his nails before deciding to stand up. “Right, then i’m going to the bars. I really need a drink.” Simon said, making Robert frown. Robert watched as Simon walked towards him, standing perfectly still; expecting something more than just THIS.
Robert held his breath as Simon got close, his heart jumping to his throat until Simon simply brushed past him, purposefully brushing against Robert before simply disappearing. Robert stood there, eyes locked on the window before he let out a shaky breath. “Robert? You alright?” lol asked, wondering why Robert was just standing there like a weirdo. Robert’s eyes flicked over to lol, he realized what had just happened. Simon had ignored him this time- Simon was the one avoiding him now. Robert swallowed thickly, not sure what to feel.
“Robert?” lol asked once more, but robert simply turned on his heel and walked out briskly; needing some fresh air so he could think before he did something stupid. Robert briskly walked down the stairs, hand sliding down the railing until he stepped out of the building. Robert pressed his hand against the back of his neck, eyes darting around to see if he could find Simon, but the wanker had already disappeared.
Robert groaned and leaned against the brick wall, holding his face before sighing and crossing his arms. Robert hadn’t felt this conflicted before, chasing after Simon like some girl desperate for her lover not to leave. Robert realized how pathetic he must look, how stupid he must be acting. No wonder Simon was so keen on having robert- he was acting like a bloody fool!
Robert grinded his teeth together, frustration boiling up in his chest before he felt his pockets for loose change. He needed to ring Mary, he needed to be with her; to put all his attention on her so he didn't make himself look like more of an idiot.
Robert glanced around, looking for a phone booth before starting down the street. Robert knew he needed to keep his distance from Simon if he wanted this band to work. He needed to keep it professional, still friendly but… distant.
Robert didn’t know how he was going to manage a task like that, but he had faith that he could do it. At least, he hoped he did