“That’s a nice way of shutting me up” I whispered, still trapped in his arms. We were still close so I took the opportunity to memorize every little feature of his face. His hand fell loose and he took a step back, appearing to be embarrassed.
“Sorry for that”
“So, like, you need to drink to be the shameless bad boy you were at Korain’s party or what?” I questioned trying to understand how he can change his attitudes so fast.
But he didn’t answer. Instead he avoided my question, guiding me to sit on the grass next him, enjoying the beautiful starry sky. That’s not how I imagined the party would go.
“Where do you know the guy you were fighting with?” he spoke. I hugged my legs and took a breath.
“From Daejeon. He's my ex-boyfriend's best friend and a total piece of shit” I turned my glance at him “We all have scars Taehyung, even if we can’t actually see them” we stared at each other for a few seconds, with only the sound of the party behind us filling the air.
“Tae”
“Hum?” I furrowed my eyebrows.
“You can call me Tae like you did the other day. It was nice” I nodded and looked forward again since his gaze was too much to handle “What’s your scar, Y/n?” his voice came out low and slurred and I could still feel him looking at me. It took me a few seconds to bold up and start telling him the story of my life.
“When I was 10 my dad left me and my mom to live with his mistress in the United States. He was cheating for the past 2 years and although my mom knew about it she never confronted him, afraid he might leave. But that happened anyway. One day he was there and the other he disappeared leaving only a letter behind, explaining what happened. After that my mom changed” I hate telling people that story. My heart sinks and all the pain from back then hits me again “She started to go out and spend all night away saying she needed to recover from what dad did to her. It took me some time to realize she was using drugs. ‘It numbs the pain’ she used to say” I scoffed “So instead of taking care of me she was getting high and doing God knows what.
One day my dad called and I told him what was happening and you know what he said?” I turned my head to Tae, already feeling the tears prickling in my eyes “He said ‘I’ll send you some money so you can take care of yourself’” I let out a humorless laugh “It really helped when some kids from my school found out about my mom and started to blackmail me or else they would tell the whole school what they knew”
“I’m so sorry this happened to you, Y/n”
“Me too, but it gets better” I replied sarcastically, cleaned a stupid tear from my cheek and kept talking “I met Junseo during high school. He took care of me and because of him no one would mess with me, which I thought it was great at the time. So we started dating. Until one day he come up to me and said he filmed us having sex and if I didn’t do what was told me to he would post the video on the internet and everyone would see ‘that you’re a whore just like your mother’. I did nasty things for him, which I'll not even name, for 4 whole months.
One day I got fucked up of everything and went to his house looking for the damn video only to find out there was none. The one he briefly showed me wasn’t with me on it, or even him! It belonged to Dakho, his roommate and the equivalent of human syphilis with whom I was arguing back there. Then I bought a lot of glitter and threw everywhere in their bedroom and bathroom, including their closets, stole their computers and set fire to them”
“You… glitter?” Tae seemed befuddled and impressed at the same time.
“Have you notice how fucking hard it is to clean glittler? They went to school shining for the rest of the year and never discovered it was me who did it. That’s when I decided that I wouldn’t bend my head to anyone. When I was admitted into the university here I didn’t think twice about coming. I changed my looks, made new friends and placed my mom in rehab, not that it made any difference since she leaves whenever she feels like it” I sighed “When I met the boys I realised I wasn't the only one picking up my own pieces trying to survive”
“What do you mean?” I don’t like to tell people about their stories but Tae feels different. I actually want him to know.
“Hoseok lost his parents in a car accident when he was 15. He was grounded but went to this weird party anyway. When their parents found out they went to get him but got hit by a drunk driver. Until today he blames himself for what happened. His grandparents were the one's who took care of him” I looked at Taehyung and noticed his wide eyes “When he told me that I never imagined how much pain he hides behind his smile”
“I don’t even know what to say,” he mumbled.
“Yoongi and Jimin left their house early because their parents didn’t approve of the way Yoon was living and making money through hacking. He started to get a lot of tattoos and his parents were totally against it, saying it was his fault that Jimin was following the same steps and turning into a rebel. So he left home and his brother decided to live with him. The four of them don’t have a good relationship until today.
One day, Yoongi started dating a girl named Yuna. He was totally smitten for her, saying they would probably get married and all that shit until one day she asked for a favor. Her ex-boyfriend who owed money was the holder of a nightclub and she wanted to go there with a friend and get her money back. But for that to happen, she asked if Yoongi could disable the security system because he kept a lot of money on a safe in his office and if they placed the wrong password they would be screwed. In the blink of an eye he did everything she required and more. But what he didn’t know was that the so-called ‘friend’ was actually her boyfriend and they were planning to get the money and set the place on fire so her ex could pay for what he did, which means she was only using Yoon” I scratched my head and locked eyes with the boy next to me “Jimin was at the club” he gasped.
“Did he get hurt?”
“He suffered minor burns in the respiratory tract and got intoxicated by some toxic substances due to smoke inhalation. The worst part was Yoongi waiting in the hospital not knowing what happened to his brother and blaming himself for it. I had never seen him crying till that day”
“Holy shit” he whispered.
“And there’s Namjoon”
“Oh no” I chuckled softly at his dazed look.
“Kim Namjoon knows some bad people since he was a teenager. According to him they all grew up in the same neighbourhood and he was the guy who would talk to them but never be in the middle of their business.
But one day one those guys knocked at his door asking for a place to hide since their rival gang were after him. Joon said yes. But the rival gang found out entered his house and killed that guy. But the thing is: Namjoon wasn’t alone in the house. His fiancee was also there. She got hit by a stray bullet and bled into his arms until she died. The guy who got into his house just said ‘things like that can happen to people who hide my enemies’. Joon was blind with rage and shot the guy with the gun from his fellow friend who was next to him. He claimed it was self defense and the police didn’t find any evidence to contradict him. He lost the glow in his eyes and the joy for life after that day”
“Holy shit, Y/n”
“I know” I fiddled with my thumbs observing the tattoo on my left wrist. All of us five have one. We wanted to do something to represent our connection after unfolding and captivating each other. The lotus flower can root in the dirtiest, muddy waters but still have the capacity to surpass unstained and blossom as a symbol of self-regeneration and hope. It grows from suffering. Like us. After founding one another we also found an actual will to live.
Linked, we are not only family, but also each other's home.
“What about you, Tae? What’s your scar?” he shook his head, looking lost in thoughts.
“I don’t have a story like you and your friends,” he whispered.
“Why do I feel like you’re lying?” I looked at his profile, waiting for a sign, for an answer, for something. I sense that there’s something wrong, something he’s not telling and apparently… he won’t.
“Just my brother trying to push me into our family business, that's all” he looked at me with a reassured smile. It was written all over him that he would like to share more but he looked straight again ending that subject.
“How do you know Jungkook?” this must be neutral territory and the answer to that is the smile that appeared on his lips after the mention of his friend's name.
“We met during high school. We used to go to the same school and one day I purchased the last banana milk from the cafeteria. So he came after me asking if he could buy it from me because he was having a shitty morning and was intending to get one since he placed his feet on our school that day. I pitied him and gave the banana milk. I asked why he was having a bad morning, we talked and became friends. He’s younger so I felt like I should look after him, and sometimes I still do that”
“That’s cute” I smiled softly.
We locked eyes and for the first time that day I felt completely at peace. The silence between us felt comfortable and every day I was enjoying more and more Tae’s company. I wanted to know everything about him especially because I don’t know much.
“Some of his tattoos were designed by me, y’know?”
“Oh really? Maybe someday I should also take advantage of your artistic skills”
“You should advantage of other things too” fuck. A sly smile danced on his mouth right before he bit his lower lip dragging my attention to it.
“Will you let me look at your sketchbook?” I muttered not knowing exactly how I found the words since my brain was malfunctioning.
“Oh, Y/n” he touched my cheek “You can look anything you want” Oh my-
I guess I was wrong when I said he needed to drink in order to act like this. We were getting closer and I could already feel his soft lips on mine before my phone began to ring, scaring both of us.
It was Jimin.
The number one on my blacklist starting now.
“Excuse me, I have to answer this” I got up taking a few steps away from Taehyung before slide the green button “What?”
“I demand a booty call! I’m needy and want you right now” he whined through the phone.
“You know, to someone who sells drugs, has lots of tattoos and pretends to be tough you can really act like a baby sometimes”
“So… will you come?” I sighed.
“I can’t, I’m busy right now”
“Doing what?”
“A thing for college” I’m such a bad friend.
“We can do it through the phone…” he giggled.
“What? No, I won’t do it through the phone!”
“I’ll make you warm up to the idea of sexting one day”
“You won’t. I gotta go now”
“I hate you”
“Love you too” I said sarcastically before placing the phone back in my pocket and walked back to Taehyung who was now standing. “I should go”
“Do you need a ride?” he offered.
“No, I came with car”
“Ok. So… I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Don’t forget your sketchbook” I winked, getting a smile from him and walked away.
****
[A/n] Well, I can say this one was an important and intense chapter
Y/n's backgroud story was finally revealed just like the one from the boys!
I'm sorry for any typos! This chapter couldn't be revised :( And I'll try to post the next one Monday!! ❤