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Another day in the life of Azur Lane, where everyone is having a great piece of mind. Everyone's morale is pretty stable, commissions are getting done with a diverse cast of fleets, and the summer heat is making everyone go outside again and have a good time.
Everyone is having a good time. Especially one person. Who is glad the girls are having fun.
Edrich Caster.
"hmm..."
A silent sigh let out, as he laid his head on a much more comfortable position. His legs, long enough to reach the other end of his bed, As his gaze shot through the window, overseeing some girls playing volleyball in the sun. One thing is clear, he is bored.
And for the past few days, one specific thought that he can't get this feeling out of his gutter. The isolation in his office. Feelings of being...
...Shackled.
For what it felt like a chillad.
The one place he made his own, was more like feeling like a cell.
Especially in this last few days, paperwork has been minimal, mild headache at worst. So there was no reason for his secretary girls to come in and do the work, nor accompany him.
For the deafening silence of his office, his mind, is nothing but commotion. He felt his ability to talk was now replaced with a mind that won't shut up. From harmless and with no rhyme or reason, to questionable and umbriferous in its entirely.
And all he could do is sit there in his office, taking it all in stride. Self-sabotage.
At some point, as his eyes was about to close due to the amount of time he has been staring through his window, the door opened, Caster, who is barely holding it together due to his self-sabotage, finally got something else to check out. He shook his head.
"Commander..." It was Wales. And she wasn't here this time to bring paperwork for him to do. She was just there. The silence from earlier was back. As both of them don't know what to say outside of work. It was always 'business as usual' as the recovery time grew closer and closer to full, and Wales, seen as a caring woman, albeit in the veneer of a stern leader than demanded excellence, she came here... By her own volition.
Both of their minds were running about what should they say, how their words will make the other react, and this silence isn't helping the awkwardness of it all.
"...Do you have something to tell me, Wales? I'm willing to hear it." Caster spoke in way that made Wales's thoughts come to a halt. And was surprised by how Caster knew, or rather, guessed correctly on what she was thinking.
After a bit more silence, she cleared her throat.
"How could I be better... At expressing myself to you?"
Wales could have not been more embarrassed asking that type of question to him. Though it didn't show on her face nor body language. Everyone else she knew how to do it. Especially Hood, with her very bold approach, he rewarded her, and the many others whom he shared a moment with. Rewards that Wales, never got the privilege to experience.
And she was always in the background, looking over the girls who were not shy of him. And over time, she felt jealousy for the first time. In private, She tried to mimic Hood's bold approach, that did not suit her. And many others. To get what they got and what she lacked. Of course, wanting to be a good friend at the same time, kept all those feelings in a bottle. And fearing that her bottle might break by overfilling it, she wanted to get someone to talk to. And here she is. Staring at the one person who she wanted his attention to point to.
Caster sat there and looked at her eyes very intently... Trying to think, and form a satisfactory answer. Recognizing something isn't right. He could not afford to ask her why, She wanted to understand her feelings and intention because if he asked, it would feel like he is not recognizing her enough.
"I know what's going on around here... And I know you're trying to make yourself stand out from a crowd. So I'll give my 2 cents on this." He told Wales before looking at his book. A move that made Wales curious to not only what he said, and the book he's looking at.
'So he knows?' She thought. But it wasn't really out of the realm of possibility.
"I think you need to leave your shyness behind. Every girl who tried to swoon me did. But there's a reason why I don't get into relationships with subordinates." He reached out for the book he's staring at and pulled it towards him and opening it.
"Commander, you're in the face of death. One more fight, nothing's guaranteed if you're gonna alive after. Your luck... Is gonna run out." She countered.
He responded with a head shake. "Isn't that the point of combat? Facing death..? I have done dumb decisions, but I assure you. I will not go into battle without feeling a hundred percent.
So please, until this conflict is over, saving the world first, relationships, second." He pleaded to Wales. And at this point she is just demoralized. Saving the world aside, it just feels that Caster is doing what he said to himself he should not do. Disregarding the girl's feelings.
And he realized this mistake immediately. "I promise you, Wales. I'll keep to my word as LONG as you all wait. Impatience benefits no one."
And this statement just reversed the consequences of his prior. As Wales did not fall into frustration.
But then the door opens suddenly.
It was Independence, checking on the Commander. She stepped in eating a tub of ice cream on her own. She looks at the scene, she saw Caster staring at her intently. Curious, she pauses her ice cream treat.
"What are you looking at?"
He shook his head to snap out of his trance, and chuckled a little bit. Both girls gave him weird looks. And he gave the look of 'why are you looking at me like that?' look.
"I was just staring at the ice cream tub that Independence's holding. I'm a little bit hungry."
Wales sat down and made herself comfortable in the relaxing space that is the Commander's Office. But Independence on the other hand, was a bit surprised with the response. She thought that even if he's such a serious Commander, there's at least a side to him that's perverted. And that keeps not being the case. Again and again.
Without any response from her, he just shook off the awkwardness and started to write on the book he's holding...
"Relationship... Tips..." He audibly mumbled... Those words alone got the attention of Wales and Independence.
His eyes widened to the mistake he just did. He cleared his throat and turned his chair around to not face them and kept writing. Wales and Independence looked at each other and smirked. And both of them left to his devices.
"He isn't perverted, after all..."
"I was also proven wrong with that assumption. Just be happy we have that type of Commander. He's cute to say the least."
"I wouldn't say that, but what he did was."
Both of them giggled in silence as they walk through the hallways. With the windows blaring with natural light, as the peaceful day continues.
But for one Edinburgh, it was a sleepless one. She hurried past to those same hallways. Passing both Wales and Independence. She's running towards the room where they first set their first meeting. Both the adviser, and secretary followed Edinburgh who looks like she's about to fall down in fatigue.
The restless maid finally got to the dorm door. But was so tired from running that she didn't get any will to open it. And so Wales did it for her. The 3 walk in and see the main girls who is in the group. All of them did not expect Independence to be with Wales.
With her tails moving around sporadically, Akagi gave a questioning look to Wales. Why is she here? She wasn't invited. And as far as she knows she's just another rival to Akagi.
"Wales, why is she here? I don't remember her being here last time? Correct?" said Akagi.
Not eager to start a confrontation in a major step forward of the group, she turned around to look at Independence and whispered something to her and then tapped her shoulder. And Independence started tip-toeing out of the room, being apologetic to her senpais as much as possible.
As that was over, all of the girls looked at Edinburgh with a mixed bag of emotions. Mainly, worry and concern. And the emotions were also written all over the girl's faces. Her fellow maid and her younger sister, Belfast, Illustrious, King George V, and Wales next to her.
The rest of them? Akagi and Kaga were indifferent to her condition, and Eugen and Tirpitz looking at each other to say something to move the meeting forward.
So Edinburgh sat down on the floor and grabbed the pictures from her pocket and a note. And she stood up, moved past some girls and fell down on the bed with a thud. Belfast immediately stood up and tried getting her to proper sleeping position.
Everyone else however, started to look at the note and the picture. The note reads:
"It's a picture of a child, (Caster, most likely.) and two adults next to him side to side. (???) We could assume who they are, but right now, that doesn't give us any leads on his problems." The note had noticeable really jagged writing, assuming from the fatigue she caused to herself and for her duty.
And after some talking on who they might be... It's looking more and more likely that this might be a dead end.
And Enterprise was the first one to bring it up. And the thought now spread like plague to everyone's mind.
Belfast stepped in to be the last one to look at the picture... And like everyone else, she can just only assume, but never know if she's right or not. It frustrated her a little, though she might have a good idea for who they are. But the consensus is clear and there's no salvaging this morale of this room.
"I'm afraid this doesn't tell us much, Belfast. It was your idea also." Illustrious spoke softly, also a bit lost on what to do next.
"What now?" said Kaga. "And if another good idea isn't made soon, we might be forced to talk to him personally."
"We have to put those items back into their place. If Commander can see them again, our cover's blown." Hornet reminded everyone.
"I, King George shall put them back into their place. You can trust me with these important items." King George chipping in and being a volunteer.
Eugen and Tirpitz looked at each other... Tirpitz whispered something to Eugen's ear, while the rest and chatting amongst each other. And then Belfast got up from the bed where Edinburgh was sleeping in, and took center stage.
"I apologize for my grave miscalculations. It was the only thing that I could find that gave me intrigue. Now please, all of us, suggest some ideas. We don't have a lot of time to sit here doing nothing." Belfast lowered her head, and she heard someone clearing her throat. Whether if it was on purpose or not, she raised to her head to see Tirpitz held her left fist to cover her mouth and she raised her right hand.
"Tirpitz."
This made everyone to turn around and look at her. She didn't show it, but she isn't liking the many eyes on her. But Eugen can clearly see it. She smiled almost as if she's taking pleasure seeing her embarrassed.
"O-okay..." Stuttering a bit. "Here's my idea."
---
It has been a bit since everyone in the fleet got news of Caster's arm being almost detached, not to mention his morale dropping to almost all-time low. And with him choosing his secretaries, most of the girls assumed that they're not allowed in the proximity of the injured Commander anymore.
In which that assumption was valid, but very, very wrong. But it was mostly Caster's fault for not being clear enough with his rules, but with this in mind, some groups wanted to help by doing something that not only helps him feel safer, and contributes to the whole fleet.
Since limited stress put on Caster was paramount for the maids and secretaries alike, they decided to give themselves the jobs that he always had to do daily. One of them, was appointing ship girls to do commissions for resources. And with the exception of the Iron Blood, the secretary pool is very much diverse. So they took on the appointing girls for him.
And this resulted great. Some girls were painfully bias to their own faction, wanting their fellow faction members to have their reps in the battlefield, but some others decided just going YOLO with it. Putting out diverse lineups that went great for chemistry among members and along the way helped to form friendships from faction to faction.
Eugen saw this happening and wanted some Ironblood representation in the commission teams. Since well, Ironblood prides itself in combat. So she went to Caster, teased him, and then asked for the permission to be the representative of her own faction. He agreed, hesitantly...
So she also went to work getting out teams of girls to collect resources for the Coalition. Averaging 10-15 commissions per day.
Suffice to say Akashi's morale is gonna be in an all-time high for the foreseeable future.
'Heh, heh, heh nya...'
But one team in particular got themselves into very hot water.
The team was Yuudachi, Hammann, Aurora, Oklahoma, North Carolina, and Saratoga.
As they just finished their job, and were about to leave, Hammann stopped everyone and made them look to their right, and into the distance, the fog wasn't helping but silhouettes were showing through the fog.
And as if it wasn't terrifying enough, one of them shouted in the distance.
"What are you doing here!? In our waters, no less?! Vermine..."
One other voice shouted and declared: "Stay here for longer or we well open fire!"
North Carolina kept calm of the situation and got all the girls out of there before the unwanted skirmish started. North Carolina couldn't help but notice their rigging that was more prevalent that the girls who yelled through the fog...
This caused her to conjure up an assumption on who they were and she was worried that her group might have done something detrimental...
Back to the present. Caster is currently in his cafeteria. Finally let out of his office for so long. He wanted his stay in the cafeteria to be extended. So the maids allowed him. And the girls who were about to eat and others who are already eating are seeing him for the first time again. Still doesn't look good, but his presence is always appreciated everyday.
Eating his veggies since his injury has been an uphill battle, but he finally won and started to eat more of it. Of course, part of the reason why is the maids, mainly Belfast is not budging to change his diet until his fully recovered. He can't really get angry at them though, on the contrary, with his entire adult life being a soldier, eating rations has been his comfort food, and eating veggies is to him is a foreign concept. So he's grateful to his circumstances for one more reason.
As the girls keep staring at him at the distance, they see him keep his head down for the longest time now. Seemingly shy to show his face to everyone. Everyone collectively wanted to come and sit next to him and comfort him and show their hidden but pure affection, but their bodies can't get themselves to move in his direction.
"Bonjour, Commander."
He raised his head and it's Saint Louis. It has been a long, and I mean LONG time since he saw any PR ship in base. He was genuinely surprised with the appearance of one of them.
So for his reaction, he sat there frozen in his seat.
With no response, Saint Louis tapped his cheek and it snapped him out of his trance. The girls in their proximity started getting jealous.
"Before you say anything, I'm sorry for neglecting your presence and your fellow PR comrades." He lowered his head, knowing he done the PR class dirty just as much, maybe even worse than the Sakura Empire.
"Commander, this is a big oversight on your part. We're born to fight Sirens and decimate them one by one..."
He frowned more. And the girls around them again are starting to get angry at Saint Louis.
"So, in the behalf of the PR class, let me decide your punishment for your oversight..." She said before standing up. Caster's eyes widen at the statement and started to brace himself.
"Thou this 'Holy Hand' will cleanse you of your extremely visible bias." said in a really fast way that sounded like a ritual. As she raised her hand up to point at the light bulb under them.
'Okay, I'M AWARE THANK-'
The hand came down like a Hammer of Justice, the hand looked like a karate chop that nailed straight at Caster's dome.
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW-"
---
After some rest and unending pain from the Hammer of Justice, Saint Louis is back in the office this time.
"I apologize for not controlling my power over in the cafeteria."
"You're being way too nonchalant about that one. I know I deserved it but I really didn't need to get nearly knocked out with that."
"That was the only way."
Caster just rolled his eyes and just smiled at her. Is this her usually? If so, 'she could be one those people who can tolerate my joking.'
"Commander... Do you know how much power the PR ships hold?" she turned her tone to serious.
"You really don't need to remind me. You were the ones who turned around that fight when your fellow PR mates when the base was ambushed." Caster observed Saint Louis's face for any cues... Or does she even show emotions.
She got a chair and put it in front of his desk and sat and stared right in front of him. 'Curious.' Caster thought.
"One inclusion of us in any of your fleets is nearly a guaranteed win every single time." Saint Louis flaunted their group's strength. Though, cocky, it's just necessary since Caster doesn't listen to simple asking anymore.
As expected, Caster didn't react much to that cocky statement, he nodded, But then he raised his eyebrow. Saint Louis took this either 2 ways, either he's waiting for her to say more, or he think she's being too redundant with knowledge he already knows.
"Seems you already know, Commander. Excellent. Now, onto something else I noticed." She cleared her mind and looked at Caster almost condescendingly and a look of worry at the same time.
"For being the most famous person in the base, why are you sitting at the cafeteria alone?" Louis laid out her thoughts for Caster to hear. And surprise, surprise, Caster started to act, and look uncomfortable. But she isn't done. "The secretaries, are supposed to be always there with you, and all the other girls in the cafeteria look to you with worry, yet I'm the one who decided to act and come close to you?" This last one especially hurt.
Caster's face said it all for Saint Louis. No words nor excuses are needed to reach a conclusion. And then she sat on the desk next to Caster himself, not paying heed to her, and shaking his head out of frustration or fear.
"Commander..." She stopped and looked at his shoulder... "You really shouldn't be pushing everyone else away from you. I don't know what is your relationship with the rest of the fleet, but I know one thing. They're all indebted to you at a point they'll do anything to keep you alive. To keep you happy."
...
"We play with different set of problems. Some things are really supposed to be taken on alone." said Caster with an aura of frustration emanating from him.
"If I told you that these same girls would die for you? What would you do? Stop them, right?"
...
"And with talks and stories that are filled with your recklessness as a contributing factor your miraculous acts, what I take from it is you'd rather die yourself than them. Correct?"
......
"So this problem has been here for a while now, I assume. Way before you got that injury, you were already pushing the girls away who are ready to give their lives to you. For the greater good. Anything. To keep you alive."
"I'm one of them. I was never supposed to be built, but you were gracious enough to pursue my creation. So please, the PR class is all grateful to you for creating them, and I'm ready to throw my life away if it means you're staying alive."
Caster just started to lose his body as he was sliding off his chair and being under the desk. His head pushed his chair away, and he was now laying his head on the pristine floor of his own office... His unemotional face soon turned into a noticeable frown.
Saint Louis just looked on with wonder. She didn't pay any heed to his frown, but she's waiting for his answer with bated breath. As she acknowledges in her head that he has the capacity to reject it anyway.
The sun shined down even more down the open window, as Caster's basking in the sunlight that it is providing him. His stoic face, was now waning facing this revelation.
"Alright. You girls are getting more considerations this time. For me being so stupid and dumb for not giving you girls attention, you and your PR friends can now pass by here anytime. If Belfast stops you just say my name." He got up from the floor, and stood up.
The very 'surprising' response from the Commander made Saint Louis's day. And possibly the other PR girls as well if she brings them the good news.
He got up from the floor, and stood up, took the book he was reading earlier in their conversation, and was about to put it on his shelf.
"Commander..? What is that book?" Saint Louis stood there curious at his action.
He then froze for a second, and after these brief silence, he then turns around with the book behind his back.
"A literature that I hold dear."
Again, he turned back around and put the book finally on it's shelf, and closed it.
"Saint Louis, you may take your leave. I'll have commissions to sieve through today."
---
The normal, windy, and freezing night was out and back in the Azur Lane base. Caster, was again, using his free time to walk around the base on his own. Every night, the path is the same, but the walk feels o-so different at the same time.
One of those ever-changing things is his thoughts throughout the walk. All it was a few weeks ago was his nagging injury that makes him wanna just kill himself with all the regret in the world. But now, now that things slowly are getting better, he can finally get those thoughts behind him. But one thing's now popped up out of nowhere in place of this past thoughts.
The girls that has been walking to his office almost every day were now going less and less. His logical part of his mind goes: 'I think they know I'm getting better. And they're busy gals themselves.' But of the faint voice of his superstitious part of him tells him that there's something else at play here. He's seen the girls go on plans without his knowledge and him always getting the short end of the stick.
"No way they'll pull anything this time. This downtime is so peaceful now..." He panned his view to the skies... He blinked as the stars twinkle along...
The moon was nearly at its peak. He then yawned, rubbing his face and checking the buildings nearby him. Some lights were on, some girls do not want to sleep at all. He sure wanted the same thing to happen to him, basking in the moonlight and the cold winds of his surroundings, but Belfast's wrath at times leaves him with no other option. His memories are still very vivid of the things Belfast can do when she's angry.
Sometimes he wondered, 'With so many girls around me, why do I talk with a handful of them?' Maybe it was he was still shy, or his work hours overtake free time, or maybe just the overwhelming archetypes of personalities of the girls that make him not know how to act accordingly around them. A problem for sure he can fix, but with everything he is experiencing, he doesn't know where to start.
He was at the cafeteria, sneaking through some girls from seeing him and getting back to his office silently. Locked the door in the process as well.
His office was not the office that he left a few hours ago. Papers were misplaced and on the floor, books were piled on his small table, and the general cleanliness that Belfast endorsed for any room, especially the Commander's Office, has been ruined.
Now that faint voice was getting some legs to stand on. Something was off in the air. And the tablet that Akashi gave him so long ago that he still uses at times was now on the table.
The tablet has never been Caster's style. But at times, he used it or his new secretaries were teaching him how the thing works other than to entertain himself with social media where the girls posts their snippets of their daily lives.
So being there when the tablet was supposed to be in a drawer under his desk made this even more suspicious.
Skipping through the mess, he got to his tablet. And took a good look at it.
Nothing was out of the ordinary. No notifications were giving him any reason to look into the applications. But he decided he do his due diligence and check them one by one for any clue what's going on.
Social Media, it's just some posts of their cool outside hobbies, ShipTube? Nope. It's somehow restrictive to the Commander's Tablet. Like it's censoring him. Moving on.
He then stumbled his way to an app named: 'Commissions'. With an eyebrow raised, he pressed the icon.
The amount of information that was presented took him by surprise and took him very long to take note what he's looking at. He couldn't get any help or else Belfast would probably arrive at the office sooner than later.
And then he saw a very convenient setting promptly named 'Logs'. Curious on what data it has kept in it. Does it include the very first commissions ever made and the most recent?
He checked it and saw something that baffled him even further.
3 Commissions that seemed off. All 3 were also high-profile ones as well. That gave them tons of rewards as a result. He can be damn sure that he did not do, requested, and approved these commissions.
He dropped the tablet, turning it off, and tossed himself to his bed looking at his ever-so familiar ceiling.
He tried to take note and think of what just happened just now into perspective, but got so frustrated he yanked his blanket and threw it up and landing on his entire body.
---
A lot of things happened in the last few days, but when the time was all silence, Caster just kept laying on his bed, the bed has become his 'safe zone'. A zone where chains were slowly shackling the injured man.
But this time wouldn't be wasted by him just laying here, thoughtlessly.
He couldn't help that every time he sat here, he would suddenly conjure up a memory from a long, long, time ago that he now remembered. Like one time he was reminded of an experience of him back in High School. Where he couldn't stop imagining about a crush he had one of his upper-classmen, but ultimately, she got taken first. He also reminded himself of how he was a rambunctious teenager, which then transitioned to him remembering what his younger self wanted out of that relationship if it were to come to fruition.
Talking about their problems and secrets late at night, intimate, non-sexual experiences, sleeping together and waking up in the morning in his embrace. Maybe reading too much literature as a by-product of him being a loner in his platoon, gave him all these ideas. Those literature gave him hope, that someone, someday that would be him. And it will be an experience that he doesn't wanna miss out on.
But the words 'sleeping together' kept bubbling up in his thoughts even though he's far removed from the topic. The one and only experience of him sleeping next to someone is Unicorn when the injury was still somewhat fresh wounds. Those feelings came back again. He was really happy about it. Even though we was forced to put up a smile even with the pain.
Her being so caring for him made him feel some type of way that he once never felt before. Yes, even around a few hundred girls.
He now looked at his bed, took a glance, left and right, no one even next to him, or even in the vicinity of him.
And getting reminded by former statements in the past by Hood, Wales, Enterprise, Akagi, his own words, and most recently, Saint Louis, one main theme became clear.
He was terribly alone.
His thoughts, problems and inner feelings were all being bottled up in the excuse of another war to fight and trying to win it. He has always forgotten how war is just a one-sided relationship. You try to give it all for the best chance of victory, but one loss can take everything away from him. He keeps giving, but war only intends to take more and more away from him. The secretaries were a good idea on paper and in practice. The girls are trying to their best to comfort him with the best of their ability and limited personal information about their beloved Commander. But it doesn't seem to fix him.
The girls are there, but there's truly no one he could take his frustrations and release the anger that comes with it. And more and more he realizes, he doesn't know who he likes most out of everyone. When he first met Belfast, he thought it can't better than this, then Hood, and then come Enterprise, Akagi, Zuikaku and Shoukaku, Illustrious, and so many more.
He doesn't wanna contradict himself anymore... Doesn't wanna keep his feelings in a bottle anymore.
He wants someone...
A connection.
A-kun: rip.
Word Count: 5269 Words.
9:25 PM
7/25/21