What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even... no
What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even)
Oh, you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, ooh
'Cause you left me with no love and honour to my name.
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break...
No, it don't break
No, it don't break even, no
Breakeven- The Script
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//YN//
I wake up the sun in my eyes. I groan rolling over to my side rubbing my eyes like a baby. I sit up the tiredness still there. I stretch and yawn throwing the blankets over me. I jump up as my feet touch my floor. I walk and its quite. I step down the stairs then reaching the bottom.
''Mom!'' I yell looking around
''I'll be down in a second honey!'' she yells from up stairs.
I sigh and walk to the door seeing mail on our floor from the mail slit. I bend over and pick them up and check through them. They were all from my mom except one big packet. It was for me. I walk into the kitchen setting the rest of the mail on the island and then jumping onto the stool next to the island.
I look at it and it said it was from NYU. Well. NYU is in New York. Why do I have something from them? I rip open the yellow package and a packet comes out along with a letter. I lick my lips and unfold the white sheet of paper. I read out loud.
''We are pleased to inform you that we have selected you to join us at NYU for the semester. We have paid your full scholarship and would be pleased to have you.'' I say and then stop reading
Oh my god. Did they just say they want me in there school?!
''Oh my god! MOM!'' I yell and drop the letter and jump off the school covering my mouth and jumping up and down.
''Mom!" I yell again and cover my mouth once again
''What! What happened sweetie!'' she says running to me half her hair curled while the other was straight
She walked to me and grabbed my arms to stop me from jumping and she looked into my eyes with care in them.
''What happened sweetie?'' she says again and I pull out of her grasp and get the paper and hand it to her.
She reads it and then her face fell. She looked up at me and was shocked, and it soon went into pure joy. She screamed and I started to scream with her as we held onto each other and jumped up and down. She pulled me into a hug and I held onto her my face burying into her neck. I'm going to college at NYU. I'm going to New York!
Oh my god. I'm going to New York, Justin. What am I going to tell Justin.
//Justin//
Me and Chris were in the middle of playing video games. I was currently beating him and he hated when he was close to loosing. Our fingers move fast on the controller and Chris mumbling under his breathe. My phone went off and it was YNs ring tone. I know because she put it as her favorite song (A/N Whatever you're favorite song is haha sorry I wouldn't know.)
I pause the game and Chris groans
''Justin!'' He whines and I chuckle
''Chill its YN.'' I say and grab my phone next to me and swipe to answer it
''Hey babe. What's up.'' I say into the phone and it's quiet on the other end.
I haven't asked YN to marry me yet. The ring is still on my bed side table when she comes over I hide it under my bed. I was planning on asking her to marry me when we hit a year. Which is about a week away. I'm excited but also nervous.
"Hey uhm. Can you come over. Its important." she said, her voice sounded so hurt
"Yeah, yeah I'll be right over." I say and stand up quick. She hangs up without anything else said.
"You're leaving! But we haven't finished the game!" Chris whines and I groan sitting down and grabbing the remote.
I press play and then shoot Chris and the games ends
"There. It is now." I say throwing the controller on my bed and walked out
"I hate you Jay!" I hear yell out after me and I chuckle.
I get to YNs house and I jog to her front door. I knock lightly and then wait a few. Her mom opens the door and she gives me a friendly smile.
"Hey mamma bear. Is YN home?" I say and then her smile lightly fades and she nods moving aside to let me in.
"She's up stairs in her room. You can go on up." She says and I nod then run up the stairs to her room knocking.
I hear movement behind the door that decreases and then the knob twists and her door opens. She stands there and she sees me giving me a weak smile and then looking down tucking her hair behind her ear. I lean over and kiss her cheek and a faint giggle comes out. I scrunch my eyebrows together.
"Is everything okay beautiful?" I say and she nods and then shakes her head slowly still looking down.
She lets me in and I walk in and she shuts the door quietly.
"What's wrong?" I say worry in my voice.
She grabs my arms and walks me to her bed making me sit down and she sits down beside me. She does a long sigh and then looks up. Her eyes were turning red and I could see the faint tears wanting to come.
"I got into college." She says and I get a huge grin on my face.
"Babe! That's amazing! Why aren't you excited? I didn't even know you applied" I say again and she tucks another strand of hair behind her ear.
"I didn't apply. They want me. They paid my full scholarship there to stay for a semester and then they see if they want me fully. They came to me." she says lightly sadness in her voice, I don't know why she isn't so happy about this, it's a good thing!
"Baby that's even better! College here is great! Why aren't you happy? The college here is really good and I'll even apply to, so we can be together." I say and she shakes her head.
"Justin. Its not here. I got applied for NYU." she says and in that moment. My heart broke.
"NYU? Isn't that in New York." I say lightly and she nods slowly.
New York. The college she got applied to is at New York.
"Well. That's still good. I mean. That's a great school right?" I say trying not to make my voice crack as I feel the need to cry
"Yeah it is. But I can't go." She says looking down shaking her head.
"Why not. They paid for it for you." I back and she looks up and into my eyes.
"Because I can't leave you. I can't leave here. You. I can't leave you Justin." She says her voice cracking.
"You need to go. Don't miss this chance because of me. We'll find a way to be together. Just don't miss this chance." I say really wanting to cry now
"I don't know how I can handle the long distance thing Justin. I don't think I would be able to." she says tears running down her beautiful face.
"A-Are you saying we should break up?" I say and my voice cracked making her cry more and she shakes her head and the shrugs
"I don't want you to have to wait for me Justin. It's college. I'm going to be busy and studying and. I don't know if the long distance relationship would work out because of that." she says looking down as her tears fall onto her lap my eyes burn from the wanting to cry
"Okay. We aren't breaking up. But. I'm just. Setting you free to do what you need to do at college." I say my voice cracking again as I get that feeling in my throat.
She whimpers and cries more and I pull her into me. She nuzzles her face into my neck and cries more. I stroke her hair out and hug her tight. I feel the urge to cry but I know if I cry in front of her. It'll make it worse for her.
"I love you okay. I'll always love you. And you'll always love me right." I say and she nods once and continues to look down
"When do you leave." I say and soon regret it she takes in a breathe and flips her hair out of her way so I see her red nose and red eyes
"A week." She says and then I hurt even more. She leaves when we turn a year.
"Oh. I uhm. I promised my mom I was going to help her and wouldn't be gone long. So I uh. I gotta go." I say lying through my teeth and she nods slowly and then I stand up and look down at her.
"Remember. We aren't breaking up. I could never break up with you. I'm just setting you free." I say and she cries again. I lean down and press and kiss on her forehead and stay there for a few seconds then pull back and exit her room.
I feel my heart beating through my chest. Once I left I wasn't able to keep everything in. I closed the door and the tears left my eyes. I wiped them but more came. I ran down the stairs and saw her mom coming out the kitchen with coffee in her hands and I pass her.
"It was nice to see you mamma bear." I say trying to keep myself together but crying didn't help. Her face fell into sympathy and I put a fake smile on and walked out of her house as she came near me.
I went into my car and drove off. Passing her house and others. I was driving fast and then I pulled over as the tears made everything blurry. I slammed on my steering wheel over and over and screamed out in heartbreak as the tears just kept coming and coming. I wiped my eyes and sped off to my house. I went into my house and only Jazzy and Jaxon were in the living room watching SpongeBob.
"Justin! Come watch with us!" Jazzy yells her face lighting up I shake my head slowly
"Not today beautiful. I'm sorry." I say as tears continued to fall without me able to stop them her smile turned into a frown once she saw my face
"Justin. Are you okay." She says her voice sad and I nod then run up stairs into my room to see Chris still in there playing video games.
"About time. Wanna play me again. I'm sure this time I'll beat you-" he says but then stops as he turns his head to me.
"Jay?" He says again pausing the game and dropping the controller standing up and walking to me.
I completely broke down and started to cry more than I was before. He put his hand on my shoulder and pulled me in and I cried onto him. He was patting my back and my whole world just felt like it fell apart. I can't ask her to marry me when I know she wants to go. That will only stop her. And I can't have that.
After an hour or so I was able to explain everything to Chris. He looked hurt. But not nearly as hurt as me. He scratched the back of his head and looked back up at me.
"What about the proposal?" He says and I sigh shrugging
"I can't propose now. She'll only want to stay and I can't keep her from this chance." I say back and fall back onto the bed
"You broke up with her. Wow. Never thought that would ever happen." He says and I shake my head
"I didn't break up with her. I can never do that. I just set her free to be able to go to college and have this chance." I say and he nods once.
"When does she leave?" He asks and I sigh putting my hands over my face
"In a week. A fucking week!" I say muffled because of my hands.
I didn't know how I was going to deal with this. How can I let the girl I love more than anything go. I need her in my life. I was going to ask her to be my wife. Be mine. I wanted the first 'I do' to be with her, want her to be my only 'I do' I just want her to be mine forever. Why did life have to screw us over.
"Hey man. Can I just. Can I just be alone for awhile please.'' I say sitting up and he's on the edge of the bed and he nods standing up and patting my back and leaving.
I throw myself back and kick myself to where my head falls onto my pillow. I get under the covers and completely cover myself. I feel the tears wanting to come and they do when I think about her leaving. I don't want her to leave. My door opens slowly and then I hear little pitter patter of feet and then a little bounce on my bed.
"Justin?" I hear a little voice and know its Jazzy
"Yeah beautiful." I say wiping my face
"Are you okay?" Her little voice says as she gets closer to me putting her head on my shoulder
"No Jazzy. I'm not." I say and I hear her sigh and then she jumps off my bed and walks to where she can see me.
She tugs on the blanket and then pulls it up peeking her head under the blanket with a funny face. She makes me laugh lightly and then she gets a grin on her face.
"There's my big happy brother." She says smiling still, I smile back and then pat the spot next to me.
She jumps up and comes to me looking at me. She pokes my nose and I do it back making her giggle. I wrap my arm around her and her little arm tries to drape over me.
"I'll never leave you Justin." She says and my breathe hitches
"I'm sorry about YN. I heard mommy and Chris talking. I know you hurt Justin, and I'm sorry you do. But doing what you're doing is a good thing. She'll always love you. You know that. You're like Prince Charming and she's Cinderella! You'll get together again. But for know. I'm here. And I'll never leave." she finishes
She's so tiny but speaking so adultish. She filled my heart. Maybe me and YN will get back together. But I guess for right now. I have to let her do what she has to do. Which is to go to college at NYU.