Lili POV 1st person:
I didn't think that my first thought would be Alex Quackity.
But it was.
All because of what he told me, though hadn't it just been a week ago?
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Flashback:
Mario Kart Wii was what we were playing, and I was demolishing the fuck out of Y/n with Waluigi. As one does.
I had angled her phone to face us so that Alex could see us playing while also yelling at each other. He hadn't turned in his face cam for some reason, and it was something he was doing often according to Y/n. I remembered wondering why.
Every time either one of us fell off of Rainbow Road I could hear him cackling or abusing his table and I would smile so damn hard. Not because of him necessarily but because whenever he did so, Y/n would laugh along with him.
Looking back on it, I think I realized why Y/n L/n wasn't supposed to be with Matthew Spore. Because whenever I was with them I didn't feel like a third wheel. We were a trio, the three crackheads and no romantic feelings would get in the way of us enjoying life how it's supposed to be lived. With Alex on the other hand, I felt like that lovable sidekick friend which I found so damn incredible because the boy was literally a thousand miles away.
And I'm not saying that was a bad thing. I personally enjoyed seeing the two of them collapse into fits while I stole the Grand Prix Cup from her. But there's a difference, and I was so blind to it at the time.
After we finished burning our retinas by staring at the screen, Y/n said she had to go to the restroom, leaving me alone with Big Q. I figured it would be awkward with just us talking but it wasn't and by the time she had come back, we had exchanged phone numbers and got to know each other a bit more than we already did. We both didn't give it much thought, but it was only a couple of weeks later I realized that Y/n didn't know that we had exchanged numbers in the first place. I kept quiet because I didn't think she would care.
As time passed by, I found myself talking to Alex a lot more and especially about personal problems. He was surprisingly a great listener and in turn, I tried my best to listen to him. We were ranting buddies, our own therapists, venting and brain-dumping everything we had onto each other. I told him about family life, a topic I had only grazed upon with Y/n and didn't even bother bringing up with Matt. He, on the other hand, told me about school and stress with YouTube. Who knew raiding Roblox could be that stressful?
One time we skimmed over eating disorders. I thought I ate too little and he thought the opposite of himself. He told me he wanted to lose weight and I was frankly a little shocked when he said so. I thought he was perfectly fine as he was, but I didn't argue and instead openly supported him, knowing it was for his own good. I made him promise not to do it unhealthily though, I expressed starving was a no in my book. And even though he didn't say it, I'm pretty sure that was the reason he didn't turn on his face cam anymore.
I think we both knew Y/n was an edgy topic to talk about since we never spoke about her. It was quite possibly EVERYTHING but her until one day I felt like I needed to say something.
I was debating this for some time considering I had an inkling that Alex might have felt the same way. He wasn't necessarily subtle about it, or at least he wasn't very good at trying to conceal it if he was at all. I decided today was the day I'd tell him about how I felt towards my best friend.
"Hey Alex" I typed, as I usually did when I was to go on a venting spree. "About Y/n..."
And that was my mistake.
Giving an opening for him to express something. And my hesitance caused me to withdraw what I was about to say because he beat me to it first.
"Actually, I was going to say something about her too-"
I was a little taken aback by the time and being the dumb fucking idiot I was, I replied with, "Oh cool go ahead, you can go first :)"
"You sure?"
"Yeah"
I bit my lip, knowing what he was going to say before he even said it. I mean, it was OBVIOUS wasn't it? Y/n was too blunt to notice (bless her soul) but I couldn't possibly be fooled. And I was dead on. Instead of typing those words however, he called me.
"I like Y/n."
I let out a deep sigh, knowing that even though I had come to say the same, but I couldn't bring myself to confess that anymore. So I played dumb.
"Yeah she's a good person, don't we all?"
"No, but I mean... I like her. Like THAT"
"I know Alex, you aren't very good at hiding it."
"SHIT, DOES SHE KNOW?"
"No.. she doesn't, she's as oblivious as you, don't worry"
"Is that a good thing?"
"Alex, tell me why you like her" I suddenly interjected, not bothering to answer the question. And I honestly did want to know. This wasn't a battle between us two to see who had the better explanation as to why we felt this certain way, (and it's not like Alex knew his competition anyways) I legitimately needed to hear it.
I heard his deep intake of breath and I knew it was going to be long. And that made me very happy, knowing Y/n had someone who could go on for miles and miles about things they loved about her.
"Where do I start?"
I paused, waiting for him to continue.
"Lili, she's my best friend. Since before I could even remember. Ever since the first letter she ever sent to me, I knew I never ever wanted to leave her side, even if I was never actually there. I still have it you know? That letter? The paper's all old and yellow and wrinkly but the words are crisp and still convey and hold the emotion it once did. And I look at it every time I'm down or sad or something. It always reminds me of her, cause she brightens me up in an instant. We've never fought except for this one time because of when I started Youtube and didn't tell her and stuff. I still haven't told her about DjYeroc123, that Club penguin phase is so embarrassing...
She's beautiful, she's smart, she's nice, she's wonderful, and she's the best friend I could have ever asked for. I love her, and how could I not? I loved her ever since we were seven. I may not have viewed that love to be romantic but it was still there. She's practically family to me, I don't think I could live without her. And lately, well, I think I might love her like that." He paused to take a breath, as he had said that all in one go.
I stood there shocked, not knowing he would have actually said that. And I didn't blame him. I agreed with absolutely everything he said.
And that was the moment I knew that soulmates really did exist. Even though I liked Y/n I knew she wasn't the one for me. Alex was. And if she didn't see that, I made it my goal to make her.
"Alex, I really hope you can meet her someday. She's every bit as amazing in person as you describe her and you live in another fucking country." I smiled to myself.
"I hope I get to meet her too...." He sighed softly. "Anyways, you said you were going to say something about her before?"
My eyes widened, "Oh don't worry about it, I forgot, I got too caught up in your rant to remember. It wasn't that big anyway."
"Oh alright." He sounded convinced enough for me.
"But yeah, as far as I know, she doesn't like anyone, so you have a pretty big chance"
"God, Lili, you're awesome, man"
"It's not a problem"
But it was a problem. Because Y/n was hand in hand with Matthew Spore; which was BAD, especially since I had made myself a promise for exactly that to not happen.
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I marched up to them, not really caring I was interrupting their little "session" or whatever you wanted to call it. I tried not to look angry because I really wasn't. I was more disappointed in myself.
The moment they saw me, they practically jumped apart. Both of their faces were flushed red despite the freezing cold around.
"So did you guys have fun?" I accusingly stated, glancing at their intertwined hands which they quickly pulled apart from once I mentioned it
Y/n grinned up at me, "Loads, did you?"
I pretended to be unfazed and rolled my eyes, "Not nearly as CLOSE as you guys."
Matt went such a deep shade of red, it surpassed the color of his hair which I didn't even think was possible. "What happened to your cockiness pretty boy?" I asked and I saw that y/n's eyes had narrowed and mentally scolded myself for coming off as something other than just joking.
"Or did Y/n take it away?" I continued, hoping to ease any tension that occurred. Y/n still glared at me suspiciously though and I internally groaned. Why NOW of all times did this girl have to not be oblivious?
"Ok look, I'm going to be straight with you, I saw you guys alright? I'm assuming it's a new thing because you didn't tell me and..." I swallowed, "I support your decision. I GUESS you guys are cute together but don't go doing couples shit in front of me ok?"
Y/n smirked, and held out a hand. "It's a deal"
Matt's eyes widened as my words sunk in. "Woah wait a-are we a couple?"
Y/n turned toward him, "OH! Uh- I sort of assumed... WELL. Um- do you want to be?"
"N-no yeah, I'd love to"
My heart sunk a little deeper at every interaction. After they'd gotten everything seemingly sorted out, the dinner bell rang and we all went to the pavilion to eat roasted veggie hotdogs and marshmallows. I pulled Y/n aside to talk to her since I desperately needed to.
"Are you going to tell Alex about this?" I whispered, slapping the food out of her hands. She glared at me and turned her head, "What was that for?"
"Answer the damn question!"
Her eyes shot to the floor, "Probably not, I wasn't really thinking about telling anyone... Why do you think I should?"
I was about to blow, "BECAUSE HE L-" I caught myself and brought my volume back down to a whisper, "Because he's your best friend and deserves to know what's going on with your life. He needs to hear it, and he needs to hear it from YOU. I'm not telling him shit."
Y/n chewed on her lip before finally agreeing. I pushed her back out to go sit with her new boyfriend, but to my pleasant surprise, she stayed.
"You're not getting rid of me that easily Lilith MacDiarmid. Chicks before Dicks" She nodded before at last getting the opportunity to bite into her dinner while simultaneously clicking the record button on her phone. I jumped in and said a little bit for the hourly vlogs. A few more minutes in and my heart stopped when she turned the camera to her favorite red head. They didn't do anything that might have been suspicious, but I released that breath I was holding when she turned him away from frame.
Maybe I was being paranoid, but they did look a lot closer together. Especially from an outsiders point of view.
And I was just praying, praying, praying that Alex didn't notice.
Oh lord, what the hell was I going to say if he asked?
Again, the video above has nothing to do with the chapter, just a classic that needs to be shared
Another non 3 am update, feels good