Time isn’t a thing for this story, but it would be sooooo weird if it would be Valentine’s day and it doesn't make any sense if you do some rational thinking, so I had to use my imagination and make up a day lol.
Sister Maria Day a.k.a. Valentine’s day 2.0, but a million times bigger.
It was something regional, not even national. Sister Maria was like a local legend, that obviously being the reason she had her own day dedicated to her. She had been a nun and didn’t even know better. As an orphan she had been dropped at the nunnery and once she hit the appropriate age, she became a nun.
Maria was known for running away with a guy she had fallen in love with rather soon. They knew it was a disgrace, but they didn’t care at the moment nor did they do so later while they were living like fugitives. Strangely enough, decades after they left when they decided they wanted to go back, they were looked at as heroes. To some it still wasn’t something to except, especially in that very religious era, but to most it was something that resembled how love could make you do crazy things. Crazy, but good things. Even the majority of her fellow nuns praised her for doing what she did.
Maria running away made a whole new perspective come to life around town. She had managed to combine both choosing the one she loved and still maintained her religion. Back then, it wasn’t very common for people to choose the ones they wanted to spend their lives with and this happening drove them to just go for it, especially because an ex-nun had set an example.
The day both Maria and her love returned and got a heart-warming welcome was officially pronounced as Sister Maria day ever since then.
In college, Denise, Hazel and Rose had a tradition on Sister Maria day. During the day, they usually went out on dates. Somehow they always managed to have a fling around that time of the year. Then, in the evening, they debated whether to just stay home and be emo or go out. They always stayed at home, stocked a lot of ice cream and chocolate and just watched chick flicks until they couldn’t anymore.
And this year it seemed Rose was about to join the three, again.
Just like Christmas this was too much celebration for Raphael. Rose thought he didn’t even know when Sister Maria day was, because he hadn’t said anything about it.
But, he did know when it was since he annually made sure he didn’t leave his house. He couldn’t stand the idea of passing millions of red hearts and overly affective couples all around the city.
Valentine’s was very much underrated around there; it was almost like a regular day apart from there being a lot of chocolate everywhere. On Valentine’s day Rose and Raphael hadn’t spent the day together and she didn’t really care. One, he was out of the country then and two, Maria’s was way more important.
“I think we all should come to peace with the fact we’re not going out tonight so let’s just pick out the movies we want to watch, then we don’t have to do that tonight.”
“I’m passing home and then I’ll get the food. See you tonight.” She was unusually down on Sister Maria day. Normally she kind of did have someone to spend it with since she went out on dates with guys she actually liked during that time of the year. Even though she’d go home afterwards and be all depressed with Denise and Hazel about not really having someone, it was close to having one. Now, she was married and still didn’t have someone.
She knew what she got herself into, because she knew he did not like festive things at all, but still.
She placed all the roses she had gotten in the huge vase she had put Tobiasz and Donat’s roses in too. When Raphael had found out where those particular roses came from, he threw them out of the window and made her watch them fall onto the busy street.
Deliberately she had chosen to take a long time to get the food, hoping he’d at least call her or something. But he hadn’t and she had a feeling he wouldn’t either.
Since she wasn’t supposed to go back to Denise’s until the evening she went to her parents’ to go hang with them. Her dad was super excited she finally decided to spend the day with them, but her mom wasn’t very much. Of course she was happy Rose wanted to come spend time with them, since they hadn’t in a while, but it was a red flag at the same time. It probably meant things between Rose and Raphael weren’t very rose-tinted.
“Sweetie, where is he? Are you two fighting?” Rose was helping her mom cook and after avoiding the subject for a pretty long time, she couldn’t ignore it anymore. She was way too curious.
“I don’t know, at home, at work…” she drifted off, hoping he’d show up just like he did on Christmas. If it wasn’t for Taylor being away for the weekend, she’d probably stay at home the entire day and force Taylor to stay with her.
“Rose, your phone.” Her mom snapped her out of her thoughts and handed her phone.
“What?” Rose answered her phone quite rudely.
“Jean-Pierre will be picking you up at home within an hour.” The sound of Raphael’s voice was soothing, but aggravating at the same time.
“I’m not at home.” He could tell by the way she was speaking she wasn’t very happy at all. “I’m at my parents’.”
“Then he’ll pick you up there,” he retorted.
“No! Unlike some Jean-Pierre probably does want to spend the day with his significant other, so there’s no need to come between that.” He knew this went way deeper than her just sticking up for Jean-Pierre. This was her way of telling him how she wasn’t happy with the fact they weren’t together at the moment.
He wasn’t stupid and he knew it would bother her. Even though he really loathed Sister Maria Day and liked being alone, especially then, he wanted to spend the day with Rose. He wanted to be alone with her.
“Then Patrick will come and get you, he’s single.” Without waiting for her reply, he hung up.
She wasn’t even dressed properly. Lounge shorts and one of his sweaters it was. She had no idea where he was about to take her too, but if she wasn’t dressed right that was his fault and not hers.
Her parents were kind of bummed Rose suddenly had to leave and she couldn’t exactly tell why she was being picked up; she barely knew herself.
“So I have no idea if I’m dressed okay, since you wouldn’t let me go home.”
“Stop fucking complaining and come with me.” He grabbed her hand and walked with her to the living room where her first surprise was. A black box full with red Fleurs Des Maisons roses and the sight of flowers this perfect almost made her want to faint. All the flowers she had received today—hell, in her entire life!—were all dwarfed by these amazing, extremely expensive flowers.
“Thank you!” she squealed and jumped on him. She wrapped both her arms and legs tightly around him as she kissed him all over his face.
“Just because of flowers, Rose?” he questioned in disbelief. He had obviously gotten them for her to see her happy, but he had no idea she’d be this happy, especially since this was not the only thing he had for her.
“Oh, shut up!” To her the gesture was extremely romantic as he had never actually gotten her a bouquet of flowers before. It was like this with a lot of things, because he didn’t really have an affectionate or romantic nature, so everything—small or big—was heart-swelling.
“Have you eaten?” He casually walked away with Rose still clinging onto him like a panda. She shook her head and once they reached the kitchen the smell of food made her stomach rumble. She instantly smiled when she knew he had cooked and what he had cooked.
There was this one time she had told him she hated risotto with a passion. She wasn’t a tough eater; she was just rather traumatized by risotto. Denise, who in college thought she was the reincarnation of Gordon Ramsay—even though he isn’t even dead—took the duty of cooking as hers. During her phase she had decided to make risotto. It was so watery, it was like they were eating porridge, and it all but made Rose and Hazel barf. Thankfully, Denise’s “Master Chef”-phase was temporary.
So after Rose had told Raphael about her awful experience with risotto, he had made it for her and forced her to eat it. Her almost first bite went with a lot of reluctance he had to feed her. Since then, Raphael’s risotto was her favorite thing in the world.
“This is so orgasmic…” she moaned, taking her time with every bite. He loved seeing her like that and a smile grew on his face as he watched her enjoy what he made for her. He barely at himself, all he did was watch her while she was eating.
“You make me feel really mean for being mad at you earlier,” she started, taking a swig of her water. He rarely allowed her to drink, because “it was bad for her”. Everyone knew alcohol wasn’t that healthy, but that didn’t stop her and it most certainly didn’t stop him. Still, once every blue moon he let her drink, it being champagne or wine most of the time.
“You’d really think I’d leave you like that? Just because I think this day is complete bullshit and don’t want to be around people, especially now, doesn’t mean I don’t want to be around you, Rose. I thought you got that point by now.”
“You can be very unpredictable sometimes,” she shrugged and now it was her turn to watch him intently as he half-disappeared under the table. “What are you…” she drifted off as he put a few boxes right next to her on the table.
She was left speechless for a while when she saw what he got her. “I hate you… I hate you so much,” she breathed as gawked at boxes. All the boxes were Valentino boxes and just the sight of them made her want to faint. Again.
“No!” she gasped, admiring box number one’s content. The pair of Valentino heels felt unreal in her hands. She had passed them several times, especially at Fabienne’s, but she had never seen them in the color Raphael had gotten her: white. Gasp after gasp followed when she opened the other ones. A pair of Valentino sneakers, sunglasses and a handbag were the other things he got her.
She placed her present back in the boxes and rounded the table and kissed him all over his face again when she sat across his lap.
He was happy to see her this happy and appreciative. Normally he’d buy her things too and he didn’t want to make this day outrageously special compared to all the regular days, since he always wanted to make her feel special, but today it held a tiny bit more value to her.
To top everything off, he bought her lingerie from Agent Provocateur. After dinner and dessert he told her to go wear it so he could see what it looked like. It had been an absolute task to get it for her, not because he didn’t know what to get her, but because the shop assistants were in absolute awe he stood in their shop.
He leaned forward on his knees and licked his lips when she walked in in the light pink and black lingerie.
She didn’t feel conscious or anything, because, after all, he had seen her naked a lot of times. She felt comfortable almost and the way he was looking at her only confirmed the fact that she looked absolutely stunning.
Like he had done it on purpose, the lights were dimmed.
Once she was in arm’s reach, he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer so she stood in between his legs. He took his sweet time to memorize the way she looked before he was about to take it all off.
“You look so…” he was at absolute loss of words. “Fuck…”
He always had some way of making her feel extremely wanted. Whether she actually believed it depended on her mood. If she felt self-conscious it was way harder for her to believe so, but he never stopped letting her know all he wanted was her and how attracted he thought she was.
“And I’m all yours,” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair lightly. He smiled at her saying it spontaneously and his grip on her tightened.
“Good girl. I was thinking about putting you over my knee earlier…” his hands traveled from her waist, over the small of her back to her ass cheeks.
“What for?”
“For thinking I forgot you today. Even though I think this day is full of shit, I know you’d feel sad since you’d be surrounded by all those people celebrating. I’m not going to let my girl feel miserable.” He added a hard squeeze on both her cheeks and she moaned loudly. “But now that you’re here and you realize you’re mine… it’s all forgiven.”
“Thanks?” she replied hesitantly.
“Thanks, what?” he impeded immediately and gave her ass another squeeze.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s thanks, daddy. Nothing else.” He looked at her and waited patiently for her to repeat after him. “Thanks, daddy. It’s not that hard, Rose, five fucking letters.”
“No.” She shook her head repetitively when she knew he didn’t take no for an answer. Ever.
“Reevaluate your answer,” he impeded as one of his hands left her back side and made his way into her panties from the front. Still he was the dominating one even though he was the one sitting down and she basically looked down on him.
“I’m pretty su—” She cut herself off by moaning when he slid his finger in her. The impact made her lean forward and grip his shoulders firmly.
“Sure about what?” he pressured as she was close to losing her balance. He knew there was no way she was about to verbally answer his question and he pumped his two fingers into her harder than he did before.
She dug her nails into his shoulders and it wasn’t hard for him to figure out she was close, so he stopped.
“Raphael…” she whined, collapsing forward onto him. “Stop doing this!”
He scoffed, “Now you can talk.”
She pouted at him first, hoping that would work, but it didn’t. Then she frowned, hoping he’d get the point she wasn’t content, but, yet again, it didn’t work.
“You know what I want to hear, Rose,” he hinted.
“And I’m not going to say it!” she groaned. “You know what,” she paused for a while to remove his hand that still remained on her ass and to actually stand up straight again, “I’ll do it myself since you don’t want to.”
“What? You’re going to finger yourself?”
“That’s exactly what I’m going to do!” she proclaimed and watched him while her hand went down her stomach, into her thong.
At first he thought she was joking around, but it was obvious she wasn’t when she closed her eyes and tilted her head a little when her fingers did what she wanted his to do.
He was dumbfounded at that moment and getting more and more turned on by the second. She was seducing him and probably didn’t even know it herself. He had no idea if he wanted to just look at her face while she was pleasing herself, or if he wanted to look at her fingers, even though he couldn’t see much as the lacey fabric covered that scene up.
When her breathing got even more ragged and her moans more high-pitched he stopped her by placing his hand firmly around her wrist.
“Not again!” she wailed loudly as her eyes shot open furiously.
He initially wanted to make her work for it, but after she fingered herself that mindset flew out the window. While he still held onto her wrist, he left sloppy kisses right above the waistband of her thong. He spun her around and traced kisses up her spine before he too stood up.
After he took off his shirt, he unhooked her bra and slid the straps off her shoulder.
“What’s the point of buying me such expensive lingerie if you’re taking it off this quickly?” she asked as she turned around to face him.
“That is the point, Rose,” he replied cunningly. He looked at her directly as he played with her exposed nipples and she stood there, being the one who was completely breathless.
He took a small step back to just admire her right in front of him. He had deliberately chosen simple lingerie, because it always amazed him how she could look so sensual in something so plain and that’s exactly how he liked to see her.
She didn’t know what she felt as he was looking at her like that. All types of emotions she had never felt before ran through her. It made her feel good, but scared her at the same time, because, again, those feelings weren’t familiar to her at all. He could make her feel extremely horny, angry, appreciated and beautiful and he was the only one who could make her feel that way.
She hadn’t even noticed he now stood completely naked in front of her, as she had been in deep thought, and he lifted her off the ground. Quite automatically she wrapped her legs around him and they got engulfed into a heated make-out.
He could tell she was more than ready when he could practically feel the throbbing of her bud against him. He backed up against the sofa and lay down so she was straddling him, all without breaking the kiss up to the point he actually lay down.
He moved her thong aside and before she could even realize what had happened, he grabbed her hips and grounded her onto his erection.
She howled and quivered at how full he made her feel immediately since there was no time to adjust whatsoever. At a slow pace she rocked along while he guided her and it didn’t take long for her to climax. It made sense for her to come this fast since she was close to do so while being fingered, twice.
Her nails sank into the skin of his chest and she gritted her teeth, trying to suppress her built up orgasm.
He watched her as she came, but didn’t stop rocking her hips. He was absolutely amazed, it almost looking like serious art to him whenever she came. The sight never got old to him and always turned him on more than he was at the moment.
When he noticed she was getting a little tired he flipped them over so he was now on top. He moved out of her and she instantly felt empty without him in her, but she was too much in a trance to even worry about that at the moment.
He took off her underwear completely before he went back to French kissing her. They lay there for a while, just touching and kissing each other. He placed her leg over his shoulder and thrust into her again.
She gasped at the sudden penetration and her back arched from the sofa at the intense pleasure. Her mouth stood agape and with every stroke and her exhaling it was like pleasure kept on flooding throughout her entire body constantly.
“How does that feel, baby?”
It took a while for her to reply, but when she did it was a shock to both him and her. “So good, daddy, so good.” She probably had no idea she actually said it since she was in a hypnotic state of some sort, but he sure as hell heard and his mission was accomplished.
Her saying that only triggered him to go faster and so he did. Her legs being spread the way they were only triggered orgasm number two for Rose and it came soon after he sped up his pace.
She screamed, groaned, moaned, cried, and made all kinds of noises that echoed throughout his entire living room—if not his entire ground floor—and she had no idea what to hold onto to somehow withhold the noises that were coming out of her mouth, but nothing worked. Nothing worked until he pressed his lips against hers and her noises got silenced and he too came.
It was like every time was her first time. It always hurt a little and he always made her feel very special and good. They also didn’t really talk a lot during sex, but that was probably the thing that drew them to one another more. It was more of an emotional and physical thing, rather than a verbal thing.
When her legs were “back in place” she moaned at the satisfaction.
It was their thing to just lay there and not do anything after sex. There was no immediate rolling over or getting out of bed—or other places where they did it— there was just enjoying each other’s company. Again, that was what drew them even more together.
“Don’t you see how good we are together, Rose?” he started. “No people around equals no drama.”
“I know,” she whispered back.
“But you don’t want to move with me,” he quickly added and she punched him.
“I never said that! I just like being around people.”
“Raphael?” she inquired after a little while and he hummed in response. His head rested against her as he panted harshly against her neck. “How about we go skinny dipping? I’ve never done it before.”
“What do you want to go skinny dipping for?” he murmured.
“Oh, come on!” she pushed him off her a little so she could sit up straight. “Please, Raphael, I want to! I’m way too hot and sweaty, I want to cool down.”
“I liked it more when you called me daddy, Rose. Do so again and I might consider.”
“I’ve never called you that,” she scowled and he smiled while raising his brows skeptically. “What?” she asked confused.
It was hilarious how she was so oblivious to the fact that she had called him daddy and he could always hold it against her in some way. “Let’s go then.”
“Wake up,” she whispered at first, but Raphael was a tight sleeper. The skinny dipping led to them having sex in his swimming pool too and after that Raphael fell asleep on one of his lounge chairs by the pool.
He had a towel wrapped around his waist and Rose lay on top of him with a towel tightly around her body.
It was quite the task for her to not fall asleep since she too was tired and his light snoring always made her fall asleep so easily. It was a surprise to her how that was even possible, because she always had the urge to stab people in their sleep who snored, but she really didn’t mind when he did.
“Raphael!” she yelled and he woke up panicking.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she laughed hysterically at the way she had startled him. “It’s just that we’re still outside.”
“Fuck, Rose, is this what you want to wake me up for?” he grumbled, almost asleep already.
Strangely enough, it didn’t really matter where they were; as long as they were together they were comfortable. Like on the rug as an example. They both slept perfectly fine, the same as they would on a bed, just because they were together.
***
“Say my name, baby,” Denise had dropped her voice a few octaves and squinted as she looked directly at Hazel.
“Denise,” Hazel answered, her voice on the other hand extremely high-pitched.
“You smart,” Denise continued, pointing her index finger in Hazel’s face. “You loyal. You grateful. I appreciate that. Go buy yo’ momma a house.” Denise rushed a little as she was looking for an item to give Hazel. She ended up giving her a pen. “Go buy yo’ whole family houses. Go spend some money for no reason. Come back and ask for more. Let the music take control, baby… Hold on, say my name.”
“Denise.”
“That’s right, baby, remember that,” Denise replied huskily and the three of them broke out laughing to the two’s imitation of the most horrible attempt of acting in world’s history. They were supposed to be having a meeting, but it ended up in Denise and Hazel acting like fools, because Hazel had a really good idea.
“Why are we friends again?” Right then Denise’s mom walked in and laughed along, even though she had no idea what the three were laughing about. That was usually her way of blending in.
“Mom, we’re working,” Denise lied. They were supposed to be working as right now was the most hectic period ever. Expansion was a serious thing they were thinking about and they had gotten a lot of offers, including from Fabienne.
“Doesn’t quite seem like it!” Bobby, Denise’s mother, replied excitedly with a hint of sarcasm. “Hey, Rose, sweetheart, will you come with me for a second?”
“We. Are. Working,” Denise replied annoyed.
Bobby being Bobby wasn’t listening to Denise whatsoever. “I have spring rolls, sweetheart,” she tried to persuade Rose. Since Bobby was Vietnamese she made the best spring rolls ever and she knew her spring rolls were Rose’s soft spot.
“Which ones?”
“The fresh rolls,” Bobby beamed and left for a little while. She came back with a dish full of fresh rolls. “You want?”
“Alright,” Rose complied quickly before Denise was able to protest.
Bobby was a psychic, literally. She had her own practice at home in their garage and people actually paid her to predict their future. She did Rose’s sometimes for fun and for free, mainly because Denise’s parents were friends with Rose’s parents. Denise’s father was black, bald and liked sports just like George and that’s why the two of them had some weird bromance-bond. Whenever the two of them had time, they went to matches together.
“So, how’s life, sweetheart?”
“Mhm,” she hummed, eating fresh roll after fresh roll.
“You don’t feel… different?” Bobby suggested, leaning on her palms as she watched Rose intently.
“…No?”
“How’s your husband?” Rose nearly choked on her food, since she was a million percent positive she hadn’t told anyone about her being married.
“He’s… he is… fine,” she replied in between coughs.
“Good! You sure you’re not feeling different?” Bobby gestured for Rose to hold hands with her and she did, after she had wiped her hands on the napkins Bobby had given her. “I have some advice for you, sweetheart.”
“Okay?” Rose thought Bobby was acting oddly weird today. The whole point of Rose being with Bobby was for Bobby to give her advice, so she had no idea why Bobby was acting the way she did when this was what her job was in the first place and there was no need to announce it as if Rose was new to this.
“I think you have sex too often.” This time Rose actually choked, but on her own saliva this time. Bobby waited patiently for Rose to finish.
“Excuse me?”
“Yes, I think you and your husband should lay off the sex for a month, two maybe.” Bobby added a smile, showing off her dimples, to make it easier to convince Rose. “It’ll be good for them.”
“Them? Who are you talking about?”
Yet again all Bobby did was smile for a while before she spoke, “Just don’t stress this time, sweetheart.”
The annoying thing was that Bobby was always so vague about the things she was talking about, but her advice always worked somehow and, even though Rose always told herself she wouldn’t do anything with Bobby’s advice, she always ended up doing otherwise.
“Bobby, can you please be more specific?”
“No,” she smiled and tilted her head to the side. “Just remember, no sex and no stress. Be careful too. Not all people are good people.”
“If you insist,” Rose mumbled as she stood up. “Thanks a lot for the food and advice, but I’m going back upstairs.”
“No, no, no, no! Wait!” Bobby followed Rose’s lead and stood up too. “No stress, Rose, so no work for now either. You have to go home, go sleep.”
“Are you kidding me, Bobby? I can’t right now, maybe in a few weeks. Don’t you know how important it is for me to work right now?”
“Go home, sweetheart,” she sang and twirled around until she was close to Rose. She then grabbed her hand and dragged her upstairs. “Rose is going home, ladies,” she told Denise and Hazel and grabbed Rose’s bag. “Say bye.”
“Mom, let her go!” Denise yelled, but it was too late. Bobby had already dragged Rose outside.
“Rose, there’s no such thing as too much sex!” Raphael practically yelled through the phone.
“Bobby says it, so it’s probably right.”
“And Bobby is?”
“Denise’s mother, she’s a psychic.” Rose started explaining to Raphael how Bobby had helped her this once in college. Rose was close to having a burn-out and after she followed Bobby’s advice she was back on track. So, even when she was kind of reluctant to listen to Bobby all the time, she knew her advice was valid.
“I don’t think it’s going to work. One month, no, two months, fuck no. But if that’s what you want, Rose.”
“Yes, that’s what I want.” Raphael respected her decision, but had absolutely no faith in it working. He’d give it two weeks, tops.
“I’m going to sleep now, I’ll—” She got cut off by a knock on the door. It was eleven o’clock and she had no idea who’d come knocking at this time, especially because she wasn’t expecting anyone and nobody downstairs had called her to let her know someone was here for her.
“Rose?”
“Yes, give me a second. There’s someone at the door.” She tip-toed out of her bedroom, looking for something to attack whoever stood in front of her door, as her heart was pounding forcefully.
“Don’t fucking open the door,” he demanded harshly, but she wasn’t really listening. She had learned her lesson from Vince so she made sure she’d look through the peephole first before she’d actually open the door. Or not.
In the dark and as quiet as she could, she made her way to the door and looked through the peephole as she had told herself to. It took a while before she could tell who it was, but after a while of staring she figured out it were Donat and Tobiasz.
She noticed that when she wanted to walk away from the door, Donat tried looking through the peephole too. Though it was kind of impossible to see from their side that she was looking, she was still afraid and squealed a little. Good for her, they couldn’t hear it. She backed away from the door, hoping they’d leave by themselves.
She was scared as she still thought he might have seen her. Donat and Tobiasz seemed like the type of guys to have tricks for everything, so also a trick to look through the peephole from the “wrong side”.
These two have had some odd timing since they were here. It was either they still had a jet lag or just didn’t care about showing up at her house and calling her at the weirdest hours.
“Raphael,” she whispered, even though she was back in her bedroom again. “Donat and Tobiasz were at my door.”
“Listen to me carefully, Rose,” he commanded and she turned on the light on her nightstand since she was getting a little scared. “Don’t open the door when it’s them. Don’t go anywhere with those two unless I’m there with you. They’re not my friends and they’re not yours either, okay? They’re dangerous and I need you to distance yourself from them as far as possible. If they call you, you don’t pick up. You just ignore… or even better, you block. Understand?”
“Okay.”
“I mean it, Rose,” he pressured. “Goodnight.”
“How can I even have a goodnight when I know this? I’m terrified!” she whisper-yelled, still being afraid Donat and Tobiasz could hear even if they probably left already and she was far away from her front door.
“I’m coming over, okay, baby?”
It took a while before she could answer; she was way too amazed to do so. It always did something to her whenever he called her baby; it made her feel so special. To others it was probably a regular thing—to be called baby—but whenever he called her baby, it made her heart race.
“Alright,” she agreed. Not only did he come over, but he kept on talking with her on the phone until he was all the way upstairs, just to make sure she was alright.
He was furious and he knew something bad was about to happen, knowing those two like the back of his hand. He was going to do everything in his power to protect Rose from them and make sure those two would leave without coming back.