•Kainene•
It was unforgettable,the eerie silence and tension that lingered in the car on our way home on vacation day,despite the music which blasted through the speakers of Temi's mum's car and her time to time sing alongs,clearly enjoying the company of her music and failing to notice the awkwardness of the space she was in.
I was made to take the front seat,so Temi and Daryl shared the back and although at first I felt overjoyed over the arrangement,I began to think otherwise feeling constant stares on me,like they wanted to bore holes into my head,especially Daryl,who sat adjacent to me.
The only time I'd spared him a brief glance,I'd noticed how his face lit up,like he wanted to pour out the thousands of words he had in mind in that split second,but I was too quick to retrieve my gaze. For the first time,through the whole hour that took us through our journey,I felt no urge to blink my eyes,let alone,catch some sleep.
I felt eternally grateful when the car pulled through the gates of Ikeja GRA estate where the homes of both Temi and I were located,I had no clue as to where Daryl lived,neither did I care to find out. It took yet another fifteen minutes before we got to my house,the sight of which did sadden me but I was consoled by the fact that it was way better than my current situation.
Temi and Daryl got my things out of the trunk,placing them at the porch of the house before getting back into the car. Thanking Temi's mother for getting me home one more time,I turned on my heels and went ahead to ring the doorbell of the house whilst the car pulled out of the premises. I couldn't deny the fact that I did feel the strong urge to look back but I didn't,because I knew better now.
It wasnt long before Anne,the maid of the house,unlocked the door for me,a smile growing on her lips at the sight of me. I knew my mother wasnt home so I didn't bother asking as she helped me carry my things all the way upstairs to my room. Once I was within the safety of the room,I shed my daywear off my body,lowering myself into the bed and taking a deep breath.
For the first time,I'd missed this,I'd missed the lingering scent of pears baby oil mixed with my mother's cologne,brown orchid,which I often stole although she always kept a collection of different brands so she hardly ever noticed my theft. I'd missed having my own space,I'd missed me. The minute I'd settled completely into the comfort of the room,my lids fluttered close and I slumbered into the day.
Contrary to what we always wished for,mid terms were always short and before I could look back,I was sitting on the shoulders of Wednesday. Within the span of the four days which had passed,I'd only spoken with my mum about two times.
She always came home late and I gathered,she might just as well have another love interest at the time,seeing how she spent her mornings on the phone,giving off chuckles and giggles ever too frequently. I could swear the only thing she'd told me was, "Kè maka school? (how is school?)",a question she didnt care to hear my answer to,before waltzing down the pristine stairs of the house.
"Kainene,kam yelu gi aka sakwa gi maka anyi'e lutego Sunday oh (Let me help you wash your clothes,Sunday is already close by)" Anne called to me from where I sat at the terrace of my room,doing research on the last of my take home assignments. I'd picked out a pair of black leggings and a purple peplum top and my hair which had been loosened by Anne the very first day I got back,I'd combed and placed a band at the front,to hold every other strand back.
"Ahah naw,are we going to do it now?" I complained,dropping my pen and turning towards the glass door,through which I could already see her taking out my travelling bag so she could unveil its content into the laundry bag beside her.
"Taa bụ Wednesde. Kedu mgbe ị chọrọ ime ya? ka anyi mee ya kita.(Today is wednesday,when do you want to do it? Let's do it now)" she beseeched,causing me to take to my feet and saunter into the room.
Giving into her request,I helped her manoeuvre my belongings through the complicated architecture of the house,a plain white duplex,half of its exterior walls lined with tiles. The interior on the other hand was surely something to write home about,I always wondered why my mother chose such a large and glamorous four bedroom mansion to house just us both,but then,who was I to question her?
Chandeliers lined almost every sector of the ceiling,both upstairs and downstairs,fancy little lights lining most corridors and hallways. The cream emulsion painting which coated all the walls of the house,coupled with the mostly white and gold furniture and curtains,and of course the ever blasting air conditioners,gave the house a cooling effect throughout the day,almost making me forget that I still resided in the tropics.
Dark pristine tiles lined the floors of the house,with the exception of the bedrooms,which had cream tiles. In summary,the kitchen,living rooms and guestrooms were situated at the ground floor of the duplex,while the bedrooms and laundry were at the top floor.
We got to sorting my school clothes the minute we entered the laundry. Anne prepared the buckets and water while I took a seat on a nearby chair,taking out the clothes that needed washing from the little box.
I pulled out the very last item and when I did,my brows bobbed up in recognition of the memories the piece of clothing brought rushing into my mind. There,Daryl's hoodie lay in my arms and I brought my fingers to feel its texture. And then I felt it,the hurt. I'd thought I had finally come victorious over the past few days but I seemed to be wrong,it was still there,budding and waiting to attack me again,at every chance it got,just like now.
I quickly stuffed the hoodie back into the bag and zipped it close fiercely. Merely having his familiar scent wheezing past my nose again seemed to be too much to take on. I couldn't be like this anymore,I couldn't be more vulnerable to him or anything else related.
"O we onye ku that bell,anama bia biko (There is somebody ringing the bell,I'm coming)" Anne's voice pulled me out of my thoughts,finally making me aware of the doorbell sound which was now cutting through the silence of the house.
"Dont worry,let me go" I offered,seeing as she fought to put on her flip flops which she'd taken off prior to the commencement of our work. "Ah,thank you my dear" she appreciated just before I walked out of the laundry,down the hallway until I got to the stairs and made my descent.
Not bothering to check the control unit,I went ahead,walking through the foyer and turning the knob of the door as I reached it. With all other conditions being kept constant,I was sure I had no appointment with the person I found standing behind the doors of my home. Temi,clad in a free grey cardigan and a pair of dark blue jean pants,his feet well housed by his pair of brown sandals,a black baseball cap resting over his head.
"Hey" he greeted nervously,his hand going up to give his eyebrow a light scratch. I blinked several times,not just in my attempt to take in the light intensity of the day but also trying to comprehend what he was doing on the porch of my house. I had a strong urge to dismiss him vehemently,but I held myself back,reminding myself that I should be humane.
"Hi,Temi" I lay an extra emphasis on his name,folding my arms over my chest. He stared at me for a while and with him being someone who could hardly hide his emotions,I could easily detect his remorse as his expressions morphed.
"Uh...actually I..." he finally looked away,still trying to get the right words out. "Kainene,you people should come inside now!" Anne yelled to me from the stairs,probably noticing that I infact,knew the person who was at the door.
"Its not that serious....." I started shouting back to her but I stopped,giving my words a second thought. I was angry,my fingers kept twitching in my attempt to control it but this was Temi,if anyone deserved a listening ear,it was him because I knew he would do the same for anyone and everyone else.
Exhaling heavily,I told him without sparing him a glance,"Come in" I whispered lowly,stepping aside so he could walk into the house. He wasnt a new guest in the house nor the estate,so I was sure he was used to the maze.
"Your mum isnt home?" Temi inquired as I led him through the foyer and to the living room,offering him a seat thereafter. "Is she ever?" The reply came out of me before I even knew it.
Noticing Anne's signal from a corner of the room,I went on to inquire "Would you like anything?". He shrugged,saying that anything was okay,he didnt plan on staying long anyway.
"Kainene...I actually..." Temi started again as I turned on the television which sat over the television shelf,placing the remote on the glass centre table before lowering myself into a nearby sofa,so I sat adjacent to him. "You actually what?" My anger finally interlaced itself with my words.
Judging by the way he down back at the drink in his hand,I gathered that I'd my words stung. "Sorry,I didnt..."I started but I was stopped. "Its okay,I didnt come here thinking it'll be easy to get you to listen to what I had to say" he told me.
"I know you're angry at me and Daryl and honestly,your anger is truly justified...we...we fucked up" he told me,placing his soda can on the table as well. "Temi,I really dont want to talk about it" I told him,already feeling too indifferent towards whatever he was about to tell me.
"I know,I know...but...please just..." he pleaded. "...just hear me out". I didnt want to think back,I'd been fighting to forget and I couldnt have that taken away from me. "Its not that I dont want to hear you out Temi,its just that...I just dont want to think about it" I declined his request once again.
"You dont have to talk about it...just...please let me explain" he pushed on and I sighed,knowing that I'd given into his consistent pleas.
"I dont intend to make any excuses,yes,the bet did happen and Daryl did pay the 10k and I knew about it" he started,causing me to pick at my nails in my attempt to not let his confirmation of everything hurt me yet again. "But...it was only for a week and Daryl had already given up long before then" he explained,his remorse dripping off his tone.
"So what?" I started lowly "I should be happy that I was a hard target?" I questioned with a dry laugh. "It doesn't change anything Temi,it doesn't change the fact that he tried to play me,it doesn't change the fact that you knew everything yet just allowed it to happen" I blurted,feeling my eyes sting as I crossed my legs over the sofa.
"I'm not denying any allegation Kainene but...but Daryl was never going to play you,his intentions towards you were sincere,take it from me" he told me. "As much as I would like to,I dont even know who to trust" I retorted,corking a brow up at him.
"I'm sorry Kainene,I...I know I broke your trust...I understand how bad you must be feeling now...I..." I was quick to cut him off. "No Temi,you dont. You dont know what it feels like to be used,you dont know what it feels like when you're a pawn in someone else's game,you dont know what I'm feeling" I fired at him.
"Okay,fine,I agree. Maybe I dont understand,but..." he trailed off,giving off a sigh and I rolled my eyes,already annoyed at how much I'd let it affect me again. "....at least I know and understand Daryl and if there's anything I'm sure about,its his sincerity towards you,I just wish you would give him one more chance,or at least forgive him this once" he pleaded,earning a pained scoff from me.
"You've not even pleaded for yourself and you're here pleading for another person" I told him,turning away and brushing a stray tear off. "It's what friends are for and he is my friend. At this point,I know he needs it more than me" he told me,making me roll my eyes.
"Though if you forgave me too,that would also be nice" he added with a light smile,this time earning a chuckle from me. "I make you no promises" I told him as he picked up his drink and chugged the last of it down his throat. "Your consideration is all I ask for and is more than enough" he told me.
And that was it,Temi decided to head home after a comfortable silence lingered between us for the next few minutes. I hated the fact that some part of me still wanted to bank on his words,His intentions towards you were sincere. How could I still be moved by what they were telling me? But then,I'd sworn to maintain my resolve to myself and that I was going to do,no matter how much it hurt,no matter what anyone told me,noone was going to break through my walls again.
•Daryl•
My phone buzzed from where it lay beneath my pillow as I'd shut my lids in my attempt to catch some sleep but of course,I was once again failing dreadfully. Sighing,I pulled it out and pressed the side button so its light shone over my face. It was a message from Temi,requesting that I'd come online.
Putting the phone back to sleep,I returned it back to its place,laying my head over the pillow as I stared into the blank space of my room. The serenity of the house,every time it turned eight in the morning was like a cue for my mood swings to commence.
My mum would take my little brother to school,my sister was always stuck in her room which was just too far from mine. Dont get me wrong,I did appreciate that fact,Yemisi never missed a chance to run her mouth so in my opinion,it was better this way. But then,I found myself thinking too much nowadays,over things that dwelling over them would proffer no reasonable solution.
My dad seemed to be busy with another business venture,hence his absence from the house. I also preferred that that way,because he never brought anything beneficial to the house,he never cared for his sick child nor his wife who had developed a few health conditions after birthing her last child.
At least my mum could smile whilst his abscence but once he graced us with his presence,a dampened aura would continuously linger over the house. I'd also picked up that he'd become a suspect in mum's mind for infidelity,but I preferred to stay out of their business,else I lose my temper some day.
Mid-term was literally creeping,all I wished for was to get out of the house and back to school. All I did everyday was to think of ways I could fix things with Kainene,where was I going to start from? How do you fix something with someone whom you're damn sure would never spare you a twitch of her finger? The fact that at the end of each passing day,I still came up with no answer to the questions which continuously reeled in my head,tormented me even more by the start of the next.
My phone buzzed for the nth time since I'd placed it under my white sheet clothed pillow and I sighed,giving in to Temi's antics and finally taking it out and unlocking it. I swiped up,turned my data on and waited for my notifications to come in but when they didn't,my brows furrowed just before recalled that I'd failed to get even one data plan since I'd got home.
I proceeded to subscribe,not bothering about my airtime balance,knowing fully well that it would always be topped by both my mother and father,whether I asked or not.
Boredom filled me as I peeled myself off the bed,going to take a seat at the black couch adjacent to my bed and opposite the television,I watched as notifications and messages flooded my screen,none of them seeming worthy of a reply.
I still had no idea,how girls managed to always get my number,I could understand pacreis girls,they could easily get it from the school group chats,but I couldnt comprehend was how girls who didnt attend Pacific Crest still managed to also get my number and social media handles.
It'd been a thing of pride to me,seeing over 800 pending chats and knowing that almost all would fail to get a reply from me but today,it simply irritated me. I simply wanted the phone to still so the pinging sound of the notifications would cease to reach my ears. The hundred or more girls who wanted to get just a word from me no longer appeased me because I only thought about the girl who I wanted a glance from,the girl who I was currently yearning for.
-I went to see Kainene two days ago.
Temi's message caught my attention as I scrolled through the chats and I immediately clicked on it,typing my reply before I could give it a second thought.
-Really?
How was she? What did she say?
I tapped the phone impatiently as I waited for his reply.
-She was okay.
-Why are you just telling me?
I questioned him again even before he could reply my first array of questions.
-Oh,I dont know...maybe because someone just turned on his phone today and finally decided to come online and view my messages.
His reply had me realising that I was infact at fault here.
-I think you should try talk to her,but slowly though. She's actually really hurt,more than angry if you ask me.
-I know....
I replied,feeling my heart throb as I read through his words. I badly wanted to fix what I broke,but I just didn't know how. It was easier said than done.
-What about Dunni's letter? I don't understand what's even going on with her.
He texted.
-I honestly have no idea. I no even get her time now,I haven't even read the letter and I couldnt care less. I texted,feeling agitated at the guts of her to still send me a letter.
-Okay,no wahala.
After reading his last reply,I locked my phone,placing it face down on the rectangular marble table before me. Taking to my feet,I headed for my closet,seeking for my school bag. I rummaged through the leather bag the minute I found it,recalling I'd thrown the paper into my bag after giving it a thorough squeeze that day.
I stormed towards the bin at a corner of the bin,determined to shred as well as dispose the paper properly this time. My hands were already held out,clutching the paper ever so tightly so I tore the paper into two. But just then,something pushed me to actually take a look at the message it was meant to confer to me.
-Hey Daryl,its Dunni.
Um,I know you said we were through and all but I still cant believe that's all to us. Someone very close to you told me that you were holding back,for reasons best know to you. But if you can't reach out to me,I'll be the one to reach out to you.
I knew you needed space,so I ensured to give that to you but I think I've spared you a lot of time. I'm going to try fix things,I'm going to fix us. I'm a different person now,so no matter how much you push me away,I'll still love you because I know you feel the same about me. See you after mid-term break♡.
"Arrant nonsense" I fumed lowly,shredding the paper into a million pieces as I finished reading her message. She was drunk if she thought I still or ever felt anything for her,or perhaps high on cheap drugs. I'd honestly did think she would be different,I did appreciate her beauty but I was wrong,she was just another girl who believed that getting into my pants was the way to my heart,and I did give her what she wanted,why did she want more?
Sighing heavily,I walked back to my bed and threw myself down into its soothing comfort. Who knew? I might have just been looking for a different feel all along,I'd gotten bored of the monotonous cycle with girls but then,I'd never guessed I'd get this crazy over a single one,I'd never guessed I would long to possess one,like I was doing right now.
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