My cheeks were hurting.
Like a cramp, in the mostly unused muscles deep under the skin of my cheeks, that I'm sure were painted now a rosy red.
Yet, I did not stop smiling.
I felt like I was walking on a cloud. I was unconcerned with the rising amount of problems today had caused. I wasn't worried that Zane had just beat Jax's ass in the school hallways. I wasn't worried that Carter had seen past my perfectly placed mask. I wasn't worried that Cain was asking questions.
I wasn't worried about anything because Zane had kissed me. Zane had kissed me. And it wasn't just any ordinary kiss, either. It was the kiss. You know the one in all the movies? When the music mounts and you can practically taste the romance coming off the screen. Everything about it was perfect. The way Zane lifted me off the ground, they way his breath tasted, the way his hands held me, the way his tongue felt against mine...
"Why are you smiling?" A voice interrupted me from my daydreams of Zane.
"Huh?" I stopped in my tracks, frantically looking around to find the voice.
"I asked, why are you smiling?" Cain asked me. He was standing in front of my locker, seemingly taking a break from the pacing he was doing up and down the hallway.
"What?" Why wouldn't I be?
Cain looked at me like I was stupid. "Seren, this is bad. I think Zane avoided getting caught by any of the teachers but I don't know how long this will stay quiet."
"Oh. Right." I let the smile drop from my face, but it wasn't easy. My lips tickled like they didn't want to behave themselves.
"Where is Zane?" Cain looked around like he half expected Zane to step out from behind me. "What the fuck is going on? What was that about?"
I willed my face to remain impassive, my lips suddenly forgetting their attempts to smile. "I don't know."
I tried to keep walking, but Cain grabbed my hand, pulling me back.
"Seren, I know there's something going on. You should tell me." Cain always looks serious, but the way he was looking at me now took it to a new level.
"I don't know what's going on." I answered him, looking him directly in the eye.
I had forgotten how easy it was to lie to someone who wasn't Zane.
"Where is he?" Cain repeated the question I had neglected to answer.
"He had to leave. He has to go to Arizona." I could tell him that truth, at least.
"To see his grandma?" Cain asked me, his face softening.
"Yes. How did you know?" I glanced down at Cain's hand, which was still gripping my wrist.
"It's been a long time coming. He's had to fly to Arizona a couple of times this year." Cain told me, but he didn't release his grip. "Don't you remember?"
"Oh, yeah sure." I lied, feeling a stab of guilt pierce through me. How had I never noticed these things? I cleared my throat, glancing down to my wrist again.
Cain seemed almost shocked to see that he was still holding me. He instantly let me go, quickly stepping back. "What are you doing?"
"What am I doing?" I repeated his question as I started to walk again, and somehow I wasn't even surprised when Cain matched my actions.
"Yeah. You're not in class." Cain explained.
"I'm going home." I told him, finally reaching my locker.
"Why?" Cain tilted his head at me. "You sick again?"
Even I could tell that he didn't believe I was sick, not even for a second. Still, I was thankful he had handed a lie to me.
"I am." I lied. "Headache."
"Oh." Cain nodded. He didn't even try to call me out on the fact that we both knew I was blatantly lying to him. "Who's taking you?"
"Myself. I'm walking." I wasn't mad about the walk home. I wasn't mad at anything right now.
"I can take you." Cain offered quickly.
"Why?" I raised my eyebrow at him.
"What do you mean why? You said you aren't feeling well." Cain looked at me like I was crazy again.
Shit. You know that feeling when you're caught in a lie and you lie yourself out of reasons to refuse something perfectly reasonable, yet completely unnecessary?
"Okay." Even I could feel the way my mouth grimaced as I said it.
Cain didn't seem to care, though. He was silent beside me as I grabbed my belongings from my locker. I tried to place his car in my mind as we walked towards the parking lot, but I couldn't. He could have drove a bright green Lamborghini and I would be none the wiser.
Turns out, however, Cain doesn't drive a bright green Lamborghini. He drives a red Jeep that was lifted so high off the ground by tires I wasn't aware were even made that big. I couldn't help but look between it and Cain. Cain's style was distinct, and it has been since I've known him. He wears dark clothes, almost always black. Everything of his is very minimal, never flashy. Yet, this Jeep was the opposite.
"It was a gift." Cain muttered, as if he could read my thoughts. He climbed into the driver's side, and let down the passenger window. "You coming?"
I nodded and heaved my way into the large vehicle. The interior was top of the line, just like Zane's. I was lost in my own head again as Cain began to drive away from the school. How is it possible that I've missed so many things about the people I surrounded myself with? It's like I don't know anything about them. Like they were strangers. Maybe they were.
"You've been in this car before, you know." Cain muttered from beside me.
"Have I?" I only attempted to rack my brain, looking for the memory for a second before giving up. It only proved what I was thinking. Where had I been for the past few months? Hell, where have I been for the last few years?
"You don't remember?" Cain frowned as he spoke. When I shook my head, he continued. "A few months ago. Zane and I drove you home from that party in the abandoned house just out of town. Zane practically had to carry you into your house."
"Zane did?" I asked incredulously. How did I not remember that?
"Yeah. Speaking of, do you really not know what's happening between those two?" Cain asked me. His voice was hinting that I knew more than I was letting on, but I could never tell him how right he was.
"Nope." I said the single word and turned my head away from Cain, staring out the window instead.
Cain sighed. "Everything's been weird lately. Zane's been distant. Jax has been acting strange. You've been... well, you've been gone. You're never around."
"I'm sure everything is fine." I lied through my teeth.
"Is everything fine?" Cain asked after a moment. "With you?"
"Everything's fine." I reaffirmed. I let out a tiny breath of relief as we pulled into our driveway. Cain was picking at a stray thread, and if he continued to do so, I wasn't sure I could prevent the whole piece of intricately woven lie from unravelling.
I hopped out of the car as he put the car into park, barely muttering a bye as I lightly jogged to my front door.
"Seren!" Cain called from the Jeep, and I cursed under my breath as I heard his car door open and then close again. "Wait a second."
Cain quickly made his way to where I was standing, my key raised to the door. "Listen."
I sighed as I turned back towards him. Cain quickly grabbed the hand that my key was in, holding it between his own.
"I know things will be awkward, if it turns out you and Zane are together." Cain surprised me by saying. "But the group will be okay. You know, the guys will get over it. Benji, Jax, Carter..." Cain trailed off, clearing his throat. "Me. We all just want you to be happy. If you and Zane are happy then great. But you guys don't have to keep avoiding us." Cain finished.
Cain waited for me to answer this time, but I didn't know what to say. So I stared at him instead, searching for the right words in my brain. It was almost laughable, just how wrong Cain had gotten it.
"Seren." I heard a voice say. "Cain."
Cain and I both turned around in shock, obviously not expecting for anyone to be there.
Cassidy was standing on the first step of the stairs leading up to my porch. She looked apprehensive, her eyes focused on the way Cain's hands were clutched around mine.
"Cassidy. Hey." Cain spoke first, dropping my hand like it was radioactive.
"Sorry to interrupt. Zane told me I should come over, Seren. He didn't say much, but he made me feel like it was urgent so I dropped everything. Which, by everything I mean chemistry, so I'm thankful." Cassidy's voice sounded light, but she was still looking between Cain and I with a question mark in her eyes.
"Right." Cain stepped back from me. "Well, I'll see you later, Seren. Cassidy." He nodded at her, before turning and jogging back towards his car.
"Thanks." I told Cassidy, unsure of what to say.
"Like I said, I should be thanking you." Cassidy said as she hopped up the rest of the stairs. "So, are you going to let me in?"
"Oh. Right, of course." I told her.
Once we were inside, Cassidy dropped her keys on my side table and walked into my house like she had been here many times before, like it was normal for her. I smiled at the thought, it felt right.
"So." Cassidy started, as she walked over to my couch and plopped her body down on the grey fabric. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"
I walked into the living room, taking a seat beside her. "What do you mean?"
"Well, Zane called me. I knew something was off right away, from the way he was speaking. He was doing that thing he does, when something is majorly bothering him, where he doesn't take a breath between his words."
I nodded as she spoke, knowing exactly what she was talking about. Zane had done the same thing right after the fight.
"He told me that I needed to come here right away. He didn't explain anything. He said I might have to wait for you to get home, but he said not to leave, and if I saw someone try to get into your house to call the cops. And then I find you already here, holding hands with Cain."
"We weren't holding hands." I said quickly. We weren't. Cain was holding my hand. I have no clue why.
"I think that was the least concerning part of what I just said, Seren." Cassidy narrowed her eyes at me. "What's going on?"
I picked the cream throw blanket in front of me, not knowing what to say.
"Okay." Cassidy said. "Let's go through it step by step. What happened at school? Why was Zane so freaked out?"
"He got into a fight." I told the truth, and I was stunned by the fact I did so.
"A fight." Cassidy repeated, but she didn't seem surprised by the words. "With who?"
"Jax." I looked down at my hands as I said his name.
"Why?" Cassidy asked, but she barely paused before continuing. "Because of you?"
"Kind of." Not kind of. Completely because of me.
Cassidy sighed at my confirmation. "What happened?"
"I can't tell you." I shrugged at I said it, like it wasn't the big deal that it was.
"Can you tell me why Zane told me I needed to come here and call the cops if I saw anyone else?" She asked.
When I was silent, Cassidy let a deep breath out of her nose. "If you tell me, I don't know if I can help, but I can be there for you."
"Jax has been... jealous." I was trying to lie as little as possible without telling her the truth. I spoke slowly, not being able to find the words until they were already on my tongue. "About me. Threatening me."
"He's been threatening you?" Cassidy's voice was laced with shock.
"Yeah. Zane just found out and it was the first time he's seen Jax since." I hoped it would be enough information that she would let up.
"And Zane thinks you're in danger?" Cassidy was looking back and forth between me and her phone, like she was debating on calling someone.
"I guess so." I told her.
"Do your parents know?" Cassidy asked, and I shook my head. "Do you think Jax is serious? About the threats?"
"I don't know." It wasn't a lie. I don't know what Jax was planning on doing.
Cassidy reached forward, stroking my arm in a comforting way. She opened her mouth, about to answer, when we heard the doorknob on the front door start turning, and Jax's voice calling out my name.