It's already past six weeks of school and our midterm break was around the corner. Tests upon tests were upon my head, but we only had three days left before it's all over. I can't wait.
"Chaii, how am I going to cram all this botanical names now?" I groaned, my head buried deep in my books as I sat close to some of my classmates, glaring at the useless big names I have to learn.
"I dey tell you, abeg which one is tripanonomu—" Carolina began and I burst out laughing.
"It's tripanosomiasis, another name for tse tse fly, sleeping sickness." Dominic corrected her, rolling his eyes.
"I know it, I was just playing." Carolina said, trying to cover up for the embarrassment.
We burst out laughing again.
"Who asked you to come to science class if you know you can't memorize names?"
Carolina quirked an eyebrow at Dominic.
"Mumu, is it only science students that does biology?" Carolina asked, snickering loudly.
"Are you a science student or not?" Dominic retorted.
"Well, I am but—"
"Case closed. Besides, you know biology is not a must for commercial and art students."
"At least I know how to recite multiplication table six unlike you, yet you're in SSS 3. Who made you a class monitor again?" Carolina jested and we burst out laughing again.
Two weeks ago, our mathematics teacher, Mrs. Badmus wanted to give us an oral test, so she asked everyone to recite multiplication table six individually. She was so positive we would fail and we wanted to prove her wrong. When it got to Dominic's turn, he couldn't even say a thing. The funniest thing was that he was asked to recite time table three and he still couldn't recite.
Mrs. Badmus swore we wouldn't pass NECO, talkless of passing WAEC. Since then, everyone couldn't stop laughing at him.
"Shut up, your brain's still empty no matter what. I would have said something but I forgot it at that moment. Trust me, immediately she left, everything came back." Dominic picked up his book and left the class.
We laughed harder.
"Empty head!" Carolina called after him, a big laugh escaping her. "Class captain with no sense."
"Caro, stop abusing Dom like that nah, it's not as if you are any better." James who was standing at the back of the class, a book on his hand shouted, glaring at Carolina.
The whole class got silent, James's voice was that loud.
"Who's talking to this one o? If I ask you to tell me the formula to find the weight of a cone, you'll be scratching that your big head."
The way she was demonstrating with her hands made the whole class crack harder. Two minutes later, we had a whole class laughing like a bunch of deranged people.
"Is it the weight of a cone I don't know? It's—"
"Mumu, shey cone still get weight?" Carolina shrieked and the whole class burst into laughter again.
Mubarak, one of our classmates walked towards him, shaking his head.
"My brother, it's not too late, you can still go back to JSS 2, your papa get the money after all."
Everyone was rolling on the floor at this point and I could feel myself falling off my chair because of laughter.
"Or he can just write WAEC. After he writes it three to four times, he will know what we're talking about." I butted in.
"Ruth, why you wan kill me with laughter nah?"
James scoffed before walking to his seat. Serves him right, putting his big mouth in what does not concern him.
Amebo.
A loud thunderous voice shook us all. I turned around to see the teacher who was supposed to invigilate biology test with question papers in his hands.
I groaned loudly.
Out of every teacher the principal could pick to invigilate, why is it now Mr. Gbadebo? He doesn't even take any of our classes sef, he teaches only junior school students.
His face was full of anger. "What the hell is going on here?" He shouted loudly and I shrinked back in fear. "And you, why were you groaning? Did you hit your head?" He said, pointing directly at me.
My heart started beating fast. I swear, I can already see my report sheet and I haven't even written the test yet.
Wahala for invigilator like Mr. Gbadebo.
"Nothing sir. I have headache, that was why sir." I replied, holding my head as if I was in pain.
"Pray that headache doesn't kill you for lying," He glared at me. How did he know I was lying anyway? Talk about siren powers. "Next time you do that, you're kneeling down outside till the end of the test." I quickly nodded my head.
"This man nah correct wizard o, his ears like rabbit own." Carolina whispered behind me and I used my hands to cover my mouth to prevent me from laughing.
"Everybody, bags out now!" Everybody scampered out, some throwing their bag out through the glass window. "You!" He pointed at me again. What did I do to offend this man nah? Did he see me in his dream? "Distribute this papers to everyone, and be fast with it, I don't have all day."
I collected the papers from him before distributing them seat to seat. The papers were so chunky, it was as if he copied everything from the biology textbook.
I already fear my fate.
I finished distributing them and sat back in my sit.
"Now, start. But let me warn you, if I hear any sound take more of turning off heads, you're out of this class. You people that have long necks, weldon o, just know today is your doom day."
Immediately he said that, everyone flipped their sheets open. A chorus of groans filled the room, myself included. Where did this man get his questions from sef? I haven't seen them in my entire life.
"Ehn ehn, Any problem?" He shouted and everyone kept quiet at once. He pointed towards a boy at the back of the class. "You better cut down that your giraffe neck or I'll cut it down for you."
Till the end of the test, everyone kept quiet. Some were writing furiously, some were chewing the bottom of their pens and some were just staring blanking at the ceiling as if they kept something there.
I shook my head and continued writing.
♦♦♦♦♦
"Omo, that test weak me o." Onome grumbled as we walked out of the class.
Carolina hissed in anger.
"As in, that was my worst test ever. If I get a D, that means angel Gabriel's at work." I burst out laughing and Onome joined too.
"No be only you, me too sef. I just wrote what I knew, I cannot come and go and kill myself." I hissed too, dipping my hands into my bag for the money I had kept there. "Abeg, I'm hungry, let's go get snacks."
"You'll buy for us too abi?" Onome said, giving me puppy eyes.
"It's not only buy, don't worry I'll steal it and come and give it to you, mumu."
"Ma please two doughnuts and I meat pie." I addressed the woman selling snacks. "And one chilled bigi cola too."
"Thank you ma." I said as I collected the snacks from her, handing her a five hundred naira note.
"I'll pay for it." Someone said behind me. I jerked my head to see Zeke walking towards me, a slight smile on his face. I moved to talk but he shushed me up. "I insist."
"I fit love o." Carolina grumbled behind me and I blushed. Thank God I'm not light, if not my face would be red like a strawberry.
Stupid, stupid girl.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" His eyes moved to Onome and Carolina behind me. "Privately."
"Su—"
"Of course, kiss her well too." Carolina commented, laughing as they both walked away.
I glared at their behinds, hissing angrily at them.
"Sorry about that," I said as I turned towards Zeke. "They're usually like— I mean, not usually like that, I wonder what came over them."
Zeke gave a soft smile. "It's nothing, I understand."
"So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked and he began to scratch his neck.
I furrowed my brows, what's up with him?
"About that—" He mumbled, looking down at the floor as if there was gold in it. "You know we have mathematics on Friday, I was wondering if you'd like to tutor me over the weekend at your house?"
My eyes budged out of my head. He wants to come over?
"Gosh, this is so embarrassing. I'm sorry, this was a mistake, I'll just go."
He started to walk away. Finally getting my senses, I called him back. "Zeke!"
He turned back to face me, a frown on his face. "Yes?"
"I would like to tutor you. How about Saturday? I'll text you the address."
"I have the address already," I quirked my brows questionably. He waved his hands about, scratching the nape of his neck. "Don't worry, long story."
I nodded, biting into my doughnut before looking back up at him. "Thanks for paying for my snacks."
He smiled. "It's nothing, really. Thank you for agreeing to tutor me, it really means a lot to me."
I blushed, looking down, suddenly feeling shy.
He gave me a nod before walking off. A smile crossed my face as I creepily watched him walking away.
How much I care for him...
"So, what did he say?" Carolina said, suddenly appearing at my side, scaring me shitless.
"I thought you guys left!" I shrieked.
"We did, we stayed around the corner." Onome said, appearing by my side too. I placed my hands on my chest. "So, what did he say?"
"None of your goddamn business." I grumbled, walking away too.
Foolish, nosy girls.