☆。*。☆。
★。＼｜／。★
xxxiv. gods, kings
and broken
things!
★。／｜＼。★
☆。*。☆。
♥✎ ✲❁✰❄✫✾✹✾✷❂✷✬✶❄✲ 🐙ൠ
Nina Zenik lay in wait, Kuwei tucked into her side, her eyes scanning the canal for Matthias' cumbersome figure. It wasn't as though he'd be hard to miss. "What's taking him so long?" she muttered to Kuwei, brows furrowed. "And what about Anya; where do you think she could have gone? The city gates are shut- what is it?"
Nina followed Kuwei's tired gaze to squint at a pair of mismatched, incoming figures. Her eyes instantly brightened the tall blonde figure, only to darken at the sight of the blackened wings spanning out behind the woman beside him. "It can't be," she whispered. "It's Matthias and Anya!"
"The World Ender," Kuwei muttered back, moving to shift behind Nina's figure. "Her wings are out."
But Matthias didn't look scared in the slightest - he leaned heavily against the shadow covered woman beside him, almost as though he were - "Do you think he's been at Anya's alcohol stash?"
Before Kuwei could reply, Nina was leaping out of the boat and practically flying towards her lover and her dearest friend. "Matthias! Anya! Oh, you found her!"
"She found me," Matthias grunted as Nina flung herself into his arms. Too occupied with cradling the tall man to her own body, she failed to notice the blood practically drenching Anya's front. Matthias stared down at her. "Drusje, you're alright."
Nina grinned. "Of course I'm alright! Where did you find Anya? And - oh! The Darkling? Where's the Darkling?"
But Anya was moving past them, uncaring as Kuwei scampered away from her dragging wings. Her blackened eyes darted around the canal frantically, clawed fingers twitching at her sides. For a brief second, Nina considered taking a step back - the World Ender was known to have an unfortunate bout of memory loss whenever she changed shape. "Anya? What are you doing? Where's the Darkling? Can you hear me?"
As Matthias buried his face into Nina's hair, Anya turned to stare her dead in the eyes. "The Ravkan delegation," she stated, voice mangled and hoarse but decidedly human. "Where are they? Matthias said they'd be here."
Nina frowned, staring between the pair. "The Ravkans? So you're really coming with us? Kaz wasn't lying?" Her gaze turned back to Matthias as he pressed further into her. "Are you drunk, Matthias?"
"Genya!" Anya cried, voice turning desperate as she scanned the horizon. "Where's Genya, Nina?"
"Why would we need - "
And then Matthias was kissing her soundly, and Nina couldn't do anything but kiss back. Behind them, Anya sunk to her knees, clawing desperately at the ground. "Matthias!" Nina gasped, finally pulling away.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No, that was lovely," Nina laughed nervously. "But I always kiss you first!"
Matthias stared at her with a longing she didn't think she'd ever seen before. "We should change that."
"Matthias?" Nina asked. "Anya? What's going on? What happened - how did you even meet each other - and how can you speak when you're shifted into that?"
Anya groaned, clawed hands threading into her hair. "This is all wrong," she growled. "Genya was supposed to fucking be here!"
"It's ok," Matthias murmured gently. "It's not your fault, Anya."
"What's not her fault?" Nina asked. And then her eyes shifted downwards, and Matthias' coat dropped to the ground. "Oh, Matthias!"
"Fuck!" Anya groaned, watching on between bloody claws as Nina gripped at Matthias' front, helping him down to the ground. Her bottom lip trembled in anguish at the horror on her dearest friend's face. If only he'd let her go earlier; if only she'd broken free earlier she could have stopped this. "I'm sorry Nina; it's my fault - it's all my fault."
But Nina wasn't listening. "Inej!" she screamed. "Help! Inej!"
Anya barely blinked, and then the Wraith was streaming across the street towards them, sinking to her knees in front of Matthias, eyes flickering unsurely between the wounded druskelle and the defeated World Ender. "What happened?"
"I don't know!" Nina cried, cradling Matthias' head in her lap. "They just came here like - oh who did this?"
Matthias stayed silent, eyelids flickering as he tried to maintain eye contact with the Grisha brushing the hair out of his face. "It's been taken care of," Anya growled, voice so bitterly rough she sounded as old as she truly was. Anya moved forwards, on her hands and knees as she leaned across Matthias' body. "We thought if we got here - if we got to Genya in time she could have helped- "
"I can!" Nina cried. "If we find the parem I can-"
"It doesn't matter," Matthias gasped. "You won't be taking the parem, Nina. It's not worth the risk - I won't let you, and neither will they."
Nina glanced frantically between Inej and Anya, the breath catching in her throat as both women looked away with forlorn expressions. "It's worth every risk," she mumbled sadly. "Matthias, it's for you."
A strangled cry escaped Anya's throat and then Inej's arm was weaving over her wings and pulling her into her side. "I'm sorry, Matthias," she gasped, reaching out to grab at his sleeve, letting out a fresh sob when all she could do was shred through the fabric with the tip of her claw. "I'm so sorry."
Matthias let out a rattled sigh, turning his head to face her but never moving away from Nina's touch. "It was not you, Anya - you could never hurt me. This was not your fault."
No, Anya thought. This was her fault, but not hers alone. With blazing eyes she shook her head and snarled. "Your soul will live amongst the stars, Matthias Helvar."
As Anya stood, wings spreading out behind her, Inej leapt up to her own feet. "Anya? Where are you going? You can't leave - not now!"
"I'll never get another shot at this," she grimaced bitterly, dried blood doing little to convince the younger girl. "No mourners, Inej Ghafa. Take care of Nina for me."
Inej stared back at her hopelessly. "No funerals, Anya. Do what you must."
And with that, Anya Varamyr soared up into the sky with a mighty cry, leaving her mourning friends alone in their suffering.
♥✎ ✲❁✰❄✫✾✹✾✷❂✷✬✶❄✲ 🐙ൠ
Anya had been searching the Kerch skies for hours - nothing. The Darkling had disappeared into the dark, dark night like a shadow in a pitch black room, and here she was - a blemish before the moonlight, lost and alone.
With a cry of frustration, Anya barreled back down towards the Ketterdam harbors, the empty streets calling her home. Landing in almost absolute silence, she leaned in towards the water. "Ulla?" she whispered sadly. "Ulla, it's me."
Within seconds, the green skin was turning brown as her sister rose out of the squalid waters. "Is it really?" Ulla asked, head cocked backwards with suspicion. "Who are you now, sister?"
"Anya," she mumbled, wrapping her arms around her knees. "I'm sorry, Ulla. He broke in - and I didn't want to lock him back out again. He's our brother."
Ulla sighed and swam closer to the shore, smoothing her hands over her sister's dirt covered legs. "I know, Nastya. I know the betrayal of a loved one as well as any other lost soul. But you know what he is; you know what Aleksander has become."
"I know," she whispered hoarsely. "And he knows me just as well. He knew I wouldn't help him; he knew he could make it without me."
"What are you saying, Nastya?"
Anya looked into Ulla's eyes, chewing at her own blood stained lips. "He's gone, Ulla. We fought and he disappeared; but he's not in my head anymore, Ulla."
"No," Ulla whispered, her beautiful voice fragmented into a hopeless gasp. "No, it can't be."
Anya's words were mangled with anguish. "He's free to roam, Ulla. I don't know how much of a body he has left, but his soul is free. He's free to do as he pleases, Ulla. I'm sorry; I'm so sorry."
For Anya truly was sorry; for she was the first to understand what the Darkling was truly capable of. She was the first to remember how cruel his games could be - how he could snuff out life without a care in the world, how he could raze the world to ground without a hint of remorse.
"This is no fault of yours," Ulla hissed, staring back at her with unwavering strength. "You have been dealing with his devilish wants for far too long, sister. You have saved the world from his wrath, now let the world save you."
Anya laughed bitterly. "I'm the World Ender, Ulla. The world has no business protecting me, of all people. Not when it lets its own defenders die at the hands of stray bullets and dimwitted ideals."
"I didn't say the world was fair. I said it's your turn to rest," Ulla cooed, brushing the blood out of Anya's hair. "We both know where he's gone."
Ravka, Anya realized without a second thought. "I don't know if I'll be allowed back," she mumbled. "The king would vouch for me, but - and I know it's selfish - but I don't know if I could go back knowing I'd have to leave all over again."
"Do you want to go back?"
Anya frowned, lips parting as she stared at Ulla in thought. "I don't know. I like Ketterdam, Ulla - I don't know if I'm ready to leave."
"Then you won't have to," Ulla said, eyes firm with determination. "I've been hiding out in the Fjerdan caves for too long, sister. I let you suffer at the hands of out brother once; I will not do it again. I'll go to Ravka; I'll deal with you King, and your Grisha, and our brother. Let me do this for you, sister."
"I don't want you to get hurt."
Ulla gave her a playful smirk, tossing her sheet of silky hair over her shoulder. "Please. As if anything would dare hurt me. I'm oft forgotten, but I'm a Morozova too, Nastya - and we are mighty."
Anya gave her a small smile. "The giants will bow for us and the oceans will part."
"Exactly," Ulla grinned, sharp teeth on display. "And if the world will move for us, a couple of petulant men will hardly be a problem."
Anya gave her sister a teary eyed smile. "It's horrible you know," she whispered. "The world of men. You've been away from it for so long, but I bet you still remember how cruel it can be - but there are nice things too, you know. It's can be lovely, you know, to live as though it might be your last second."
"The boy," Ulla said suddenly. "The boy with the cane. I gave him your knife."
"My soul? To Kaz?" Anya blinked in surprise, corners of her lips turning downwards. "Kaz took it?"
"Was he not supposed to?" Ulla asked innocently. "Has the boy hurt you? Should I not have given it to him?"
"He has hurt me," Anya whispered. "But I trust him more than anyone."
Ulla gave her a sad smile, and kissed her cheek, leaving a trace of salt in the wake of her lips. "Men are complicated."
"As are women," Anya shrugged. "I suppose I'm not the easiest person in the world either."
"So will you go back to him?" Ulla asked. "To Kaz Brekker and your other otkazat'sya friends?"
Anya paused, looking up at the starlit sky. Matthias, she thought with a bittersweet smile, Mother, and everyone else that never made it.
"I suppose it's not quite time to go home," she mused, staring up at the stars. "Come Ulla; I know you're not all to fond of royalty, but it's time you meet someone who might just about change your mind."
Ulla laughed and pulled her sister in the water, wings and all. "Lead the way, Nastya. Prove me wrong."
notes
eyo! we only have a chapter and an epilogue left!
i don't wanna say the book is over, because if the crows come back so will Anya (e.g. end of Rule of Wolves)
may do a lil Ulla book after I've written some more of the other Grishaverse books I'm doing atm :)))
there's been mad engagement recently (guessing because of the show) but thank you to everyone that comments on these chapters! it means the world to me!
p.s. sorry about the matthias thing - I love him too but Anya's a destroyer, not a healer :(
also, look at these wicked edits by kaeranritika
they have a sick covershop if you wanna check it out!