"I can't believe he licks vag too" Ian snapped as I handed him a cup of coffee. "I should break up with him right?"
"You mean you haven't already?"
Shit I thought after the incident we saw last night he would have dumped him right away. Especially after I beat the crap out of the girl he was also screwing.....
And if you were wondering, I obviously won that fight.
"Mommy's a badass isn't she" Mickey waived Moni's little hand around as I handed him her breakfast. God they were so fucking cute....
"Good morning my wasted sperm!" We all let out groans as Frank came strolling through the front door. What the fuck was he still doing here? Didn't he know how to take a fucking hint? "Is that any way to great your ex-father?"
Oh ex-father? Has my wishing on shooting stats finally payed off?
"I am filling out the paperwork to disinherit you abortion-should-have-beens"
Oh no disinherit? Did that mean we wouldn't get his beer cans or those three forks he stole from the Ramada Inn? Or what about the utter shame and embarrassment?
Oh how it sucks to be us....
"Joke all you want but once my parental rights are terminated, you can no longer use the Gallagher name"
"Hallelujah!" Fiona and I rang in unison as I grabbed the trash bag from her. "Come on Ian, we're going out for breakfast"
I bounced Moni on my knee as I shoved the fork in my mouth. God it had been so long since my brother and I had just hung out y'know?
"You never told me how Mick reacted when you came home old bruised" He joked as I sent him a glare. Sheesh it was like he forgot I was dating the Mickey Milkovich.
"He found it hot" I shrugged. "You gonna comfort Caleb after work?"
I mean if he wasn't going to I would, especially after he ran off like a little baby last night. Probably too scared to get his ass beat by a girl.
"Yeah....I just can't believe he's screwing someone else! Especially a girl"
My brother didn't deserve him, and that childhood friend....yikes was she ugly. I wasn't one to hate on other girls but picture a ghetto Oscar the Grouch.
"I mean I'd rather have my boyfriend fucking other guys than another girl"
"Okay well you ever fuck a girl before?"
I slowly sipped on my ice tea as I tried to think of a plausible answer.
"We talking in a gay way....or in a drunk spring break with my friends way?"
He choked back on his eggs as I tried to keep down a laugh. Okay everyone experimented in high school, it wasn't like it actually meant anything....and it was only once!
"Why you thinking about experimenting with a chick?"
"No of course not! Well maybe, i don't know"
We both fell silent before bursting into fits of laughter. God what the hell was wrong with us?
I mean we were a gay and bipolar twins that shared different dads....that probably explained a lot.
"Well I mean you only live once right" I shrugged. "Live a little"
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I dropped Ian off at the subway after breaking up with Caleb before making my way over to The Alibi. They were going through some financial troubles so I didn't have work today but V called and said she needed help with Liam.
Apparently Frank sort of kidnapped him this morning and now she needed me to bring him back home, and away from a bar.
"Cassie!" His little voice yelled as he swung onto my leg.
"Hi buddy!" I smiled, bending down to him. "Can you say hi to Moni"
I waived her little hand which he ever so cutely returned. God they were the only two people in this town that were going to stay innocent forever.
Against their will or not...
"Don't be talking to strangers son" Frank slurred as I pushed my brother behind me.
"Why don't we go home nugget" I smiled, turning him towards the door. "I think I have those crackers you like in my back seat"
A giant smile rose on his face as he ran out towards my car. I silently thanked Veronica before following after him.
And I mean god could that boy run....
"We're home!" I called, placing Liam down on the couch. "How's your penis doing?"
Okay so I know that might sound like a weird question but it was Car's fault for getting his foreskin cut off at the age of 16. And now he had to wait 72 hours before getting a boner....god have you met my brother?
"No it still hurts"
"Damn....that sucks"
I tried to keep myself from laughing as I made my way upstairs with Moni. She had knocked herself out in the car so hopefully she would stay asleep the entire night.
"Yeah you're not gonna be able to go up their" Mickey's voice rang as I came face to face with a stone wall. Frank's doing I suppose....
"I didn't know you were home" I yawned, placing her in the spot under the stairs. I guess it would have to do.... Mickey wrapped his arms around me as we stared down at our daughter. "She's so peaceful....I don't want to ruin her"
I knew the odds, there was a 25% chance of Moni developing bpd....and all though she was still young, what if?
"She's tough Cass, just like her mom"
I rested my head against his chest, his soft heartbeat filling my ears. Everything seemed so peaceful, I wouldn't dare break the silence.
"Oh god! Cassie!"
And just like that....the moment was ruined.
I shimmied out of his grip, practically falling over as I ran into the kitchen.
My eyes fell on Ian who was currently leaned over the sink, the faucet half way into his mouth. Oh my god....he didn't actually.....did he?
"The taste and the folds and the slime...oh my god it was awful"
I tried to keep myself from laughing as he poured half a bottle of mouthwash into his mouth. He actually did it.....he had sex with a girl.
"And a mouth full of dick is any better?" He sent me a glare as I tossed him a beer. "You are acting with prom queen drama, y'know that right?"
"It was so gross....i think it had steam coming off from it"
I watched in awe as he shoved a toothbrush down his throat, rinsing out the previous mouthwash with alcohol. God was it really that bad? I mean is that why he made me drop him off at the subway? To get a girl?
"You are 100% gay"
"I think I have PTSD...."
"Okay okay enough with the sex and gay problems, will one of you help me with these blankets?"
I grabbed the pile from Carl, handing a stack over to Ian. I guess we were all sleeping in the living room tonight....
"What's with the giant hole in the ceiling?" Mickey muttered as I pulled him onto the couch. My bets it had something to do with Frank but honestly, I was too fucking tired to care.
This was going to be a long ass night anyways.....
"Everybody wake up" Lips voice rang as I inched myself closer to Mickey. God it was the middle of the fucking night...
"What's going on?" Ian yawned as the lights went on and....holy shit.
Is that a? In our? Oh my fucking god.
"Moni!" I climbed over the couch, away from the evil racoon, hearing Mickey tiredly curse at me. Pulling back the curtain, I was more than happy to see she was still peacefully sleeping on her bed.
"Don't say papa never gave you a pet!"
We all looked up at Frank as I held my daughter close to my chest. I mean I guess now we know what the giant hole was for....
"Lip get rid of it!"
"Why me? Why not Ian?"
"You're older and I value my twins life"
"I'm not-"
Our bickering was cut off my a loud bang which lead to Monica waking up crying. God what the actual...my eyes fell over to the dead animal, tracing them back to the man with a gun.
"There problem solved" I sent a glare to Mickey because I damn well know he wasn't keeping a gun in this house. Especially not with our daughter around and him being on parole. "What's with that look?"
I handed my daughter over to Ian, snatching the gun away from him. If there was one thing I was certain of...it was Mickey Milkovich was gonna fucking die tonight.