♡ Alaiya's POV: ♡
My tears sting me, as does the bullet that shot through my heart when she said those words. Everyone is looking over at me now, and that's only making me get more emotional and embarrassed. I rush out of the room because I'm not going to have a full-on breakdown in front of my family. My feet walk up the stairs and when I arrive at my bedroom door, I can hear my mom yelling at my dad at the top of her lungs for what he's about to do, or should I say should be doing.
"We'll say she's mentally unstable." I hear my mom offer."We'll kick her out of our lives and we'll move away."
I would think or hope that she was talking about someone else, but what my dad says next shows it's not.
"She's our daughter," he tries to explain to her.
Well, that hurt even more.
"No daughter of mine would be such an ugly person to send her dad to jail. She's just looking for attention. Carson would never do something like that, and she probably just wants to make an excuse to be with that other guy." my mother spits in disgust, and that's when I can't hold it anymore.
My dad hates me, Carson hates me, my mom definitely hates me, Ms.Walker probably hates me, Grandma Rose and Aunt Penny probably hate me. I hate me.
I shoot back around towards my room as I'm basically holding my breath because of the loud sobs I feel coming, but a pair of arms go around me before I can make it as I'm also met with a hard chest. I know who it is because I know who holds me like this, though I don't have the energy to look up at him to confirm.
After twenty-one years, I've finally reached my breaking point. Forget reaching it, it's been slammed into my face.
"You're okay." Roman rubs my back up and down as his other hand rests on the back of my head, holding me as close to him as I can be.
I only cry harder, and it feels like I have poison coming out of me each time a louder and louder sob comes out. My head hurts so bad and at the same time, that I feel weirdly numb.
***
✩ Roman's POV ✩
I see her teary-eyed face after she cried for hours non-stop but finally fell asleep against my chest after a while. I have never in my entire life seen a stronger, yet also destroyed person than when I saw Alaiya's mom tell Alaiya she hated her. Seeing Alaiya's face when she said that broke my fucking heart into pieces, and it probably shattered hers' too.
I would say I know what it's like to be in her position, but I have no idea. I had a shitty mother who didn't give a shit about me while growing up, but holy fuck did Alaiya go through things that I don't even want to imagine her going through. I don't think she even told half of it, which only makes me worry for her more.
Her hand is still gripping my shirt as her body is facing mine, letting me see her wet cheeks and tears that are still falling a little in her sleep. I wipe them away, as well as the remainder of the wetness before she sniffs and moves deeper into my chest.
She looks tired. Tired of all the shit that happened that she did not deserve, but being tired comes with shit that I really hope she doesn't go through.
The door opens after a slight knock and her grandparent's poke their heads in to check and see if she's doing okay. They both look at her in worry and her grandma begins first.
"Her mom is being detained," she whispers, making me raise an eyebrow.
Her mom?
"She umm...," her grandfather thinks of the right word to use. "...got a little out of hand."
I can kind of piece together what might've happened so I nod as they motion towards what I'm thinking.
"We're gonna be downstairs. Tell us if you need anything." Her grandma points behind her.
I nod as both of them shut the door behind them and are heard walk away.
Alaiya slides her arm around my stomach and to my back, pulling me closer and I follow her command with no argument. She grips onto the back of my shirt this time, and I can feel her hands trembling against me but her trying to stop them which is why she's holding onto my shirt. I kiss her forehead and push her curls away to see her still fucking gorgeous face. My finger removes the tears that have again fallen and I notice her eyes stop blinking as much and finally fall into a peaceful sleep.
I didn't know what to think when she confessed all that messed up shit in front of everyone. I was just in shock that she stopped defending everyone and finally admitted to some of the bullshit she'd been put through by the people she loved. I should've beaten Walker's ass a whole lot more, but he was already on the ground and I didn't want to kill him in her parents' house cause that might've been a little disrespectful.
I should've done it.
I think her grandpa hit her dad once more because I heard a loud groan noise from downstairs before the cops arrived. Also, his fists were more bruised up when he walked in here which just confirms my theory. I'm glad he fucking did because I was using every restraint bone in my body not to do the same when I saw him for the first time. It made me even more fucking aggravated that he was acting so natural after what happened last night. Like he didn't send his daughter to jump out a window because she was afraid of what he would do to her.
Him and Walker are the exact same people, except Walker is just a developing version. Alaiya was also a developing version of her mom, but holy shit did she realize it right on time before things got worse. Hopefully.
The fucking anger I feel for her is shooting its courses through my veins, but her being in my arms is making me control and try to hold it back. I don't even give a shit that what I feel for her has become less hate and more of something that's super fucking weird and has me all screwed up in the head.
I can't even convince myself to hate her.
For the first time in my life, I don't hate someone. That makes me sound like a huge dick, but it's the truth so I have to say it.
A couple of hours go by, and Alaiya keeps stopping her cries in her sleep and then returning with them along with small sniffs and shifts in her posture. I told my dad that I won't be home and he said he already knows why because Walker's news spread pretty quickly to the team. That also means Rider found out and he can't keep his mouth shut for the fucking life of him which is probably how my dad found out.
Loudmouth.
Her eyes flicker a little while beginning to awaken, and she looks over at the window next to her bed which is blocked by white curtains that won't let the moonlight be seen while adjusting her head once again on my chest. Her bed is against the right wall and her entire room has almost nothing in it. Her bed and desk are the only piece of decoration she has, though they looks pretty old and rusty. That surprises me a little because her apartment is decorated much more than this place is, but that's probably because she moved out.
"Did they leave?" her tired and raspy voice asks as she continues to stare at her curtains.
I respond with a yeah while looking at the emptiness in her eyes by the light the lamp next to me is providing. Her under eyes are dark from I'm guessing the makeup she was wearing that leaked because of her tears, and her cheeks are flushed to a dark red color from crying so much. I move my hand to her warm cheek and she doesn't even flinch like she usually does because of what that dickhead did to her. She just keeps her eyes blankly on the curtains and doesn't move an inch of her body parts. My thumb rubs back and forth against her soft and slightly wet skin while her arms stay around me and her hands still continue to grip onto the cloth of my shirt.
After a minute of silence, her head turns to look straight ahead at the blank wall which consists of white paint and a single picture frame hanging of her and her family at the beach I think.
"Carson punched a hole behind that picture when he got drunk for the first time," she says sadly as she remembers the memory. "He...," she stops as she swallows. "I told him 'no' many times that night but he didn't listen, so I gave in." She's on the verge of tears again as she tries to shrug it off.
I immediately understand what she's saying from the first part.
That motherfucking son of a bitch. Why the hell didn't I kill him? I will never be able to forgive myself for not murdering the shit out of him when I had the chance.
That alone brings out an anger in me that I didn't think I'd ever have to feel again, although this time, it's harsher and it's not even about me.
I pull her back in with my arms and she puts her face back into my chest as she quietly lets herself break again, though with more silence this time.
"I'm sorry." The only words that I can think of saying in this situation are spoken because I'm helpless.
I should've taken her away from that piece of shit sooner. I shouldn't have listened to her about that dumbass deal and should've taken her away from him as far and quickly as possible.
What the hell was wrong with me?
She gets her face out of my chest and wipes the tears away with her fingers. The door opens again and her grandparents see that she's awake this time. I look down at her and she gives a small nod understanding at what I'm doing before I let go of her. I stand up and walk out of the room while her grandparents make their way over to her.
***
♡ Alaiya's POV: ♡
I scoot over and my grandma sits on the left of me as my grandpa stands next to her.
My eyes feel squinted from crying and I can feel the redness in them without even looking into a mirror. My entire body feels like it's given up and my brain just keeps replaying everything. Carson hitting me, my dad when I was little, my mom, this dinner, how dumb I was for letting all this happen, how I should've listened to Roman. You know, for someone who hated me since we met, he sure is the only one who kept helping and didn't give up even when I told him many times to. Sure, he used some blackmailing and kidnapping techniques, but he never gave up. He didn't walk away from Carson and me while Carson was yelling at me as anyone else would've, he let me stay but still kept a close eye on me even when I wasn't talking to him, he drove all the way from Indiana to here when I said I needed him in under an hour when it should've taken him much longer, and he stuck by my side the entire time I was telling everyone what happened and even now when I'm crying nonstop. Out of everything that's occurred, I can guarantee that I do not hate him.
What that also means is that it's turning in the opposite direction and I'm afraid now.
"Carson's going away for a while," my grandma says in a voice that sounds afraid of my reaction.
I nod a little as I try to be or at least look strong about this.
"Your father's sentence may take some time to get finalized and your mother's-," she stops when I scrunch my eyebrows.
"Mom's going too?" I ask out of care and confusion because even though she hates me, I still care about her.
"Not to jail, but a hospital where she can learn how she was in an abusive relationship and get better," my grandma explains.
I can tell they've both been crying because they still love my mom too. I don't know about my dad or Carson, but my grandparent's love for my mom has never stopped, even when she pushed them away. They loved her through it all and still stood by her side, even if they didn't agree with what she was doing.
I sit up in my bed using every bit of strength I'm holding onto and we three stay quiet for a couple of minutes to think about all this. I get my thoughts prioritized and when I do, I let my first thought slip out.
"Do you think I actually loved Carson?" I ask a question that's been bugging me this entire time.
Both my grandma and grandpa look up from the floor and at me.
"I think you loved him when you were little."My grandpa shrugs. "But a person who hurts you intentionally is not someone who loves you." He shakes his head, making me look down at my fingernails to pick at them out of disappointment in myself.
"Someone who loves you takes care of you even when you think you don't need it." My grandma this time puts her hand on my shoulder lightly. "And sure that person may say somethings that may hurt you sometimes, but once the person realizes their mistakes and doesn't do it again, then they love you because they're changing for the better. That's how a relationship grows." She smiles.
"Carson said things that broke you," my grandpa points out. "Your mother and father did the same."
I look up to him with a small nod because he's right. My parents never really loved me and neither did Carson. I loved them and still do, but it was all one-sided.
That doesn't make me want to cry again. Totally not.
"Now, I want you to tell me that that man outside who's been here for you even when he doesn't completely understand the situation is someone who you couldn't see yourself loving," she switches the topic to Roman, and immediately I put my head back down to face the bedsheets with a dark red blush.
"I've never seen your eyes sparkle the way they do when you're with him." My grandpa shrugs with a proud smile on his face. "Especially not with that son of a bitch," he mumbles about Carson, but I hear him.
"We're not making you do anything because you've had enough of that," my grandma promises. "But I'm telling you this from personal experience. Life's too short to not go after someone you love. Is he someone who I would've guessed you'd be with? No," she asks and answers her own question. "Is he better?" She questions before both she and my grandpa shake their heads yes a little aggressively, making a small smile appear on my lips.
They definitely like him.
Do I?
I don't even know how to correctly love somebody. I don't want to make the same mistake again when I love someone because somebody else thinks I should. I also don't know what I feel for Roman, all I know is it's getting bigger and becoming the opposite of what I thought it would be which was hatred in the matter of seconds.
Is the person I thought of when my grandma was talking about taking care of me when I thought I didn't need it Roman? Did he apologize right after what happened at the family reunion and also never say anything along those lines again? I'm doomed.
When he told me I was weak on the steps, he did hurt me, but then he made up for it later. Then the kiss of course happened, but that's not the main point. The point is, is that he said some rude things, but ended up apologizing a while after the rude things were said. Now, I don't know what kind of apology that was since he was calling me annoying half the time, but I was mocking him a lot so maybe I had missed something.
"Here's a way you can find out if you care about him," my grandma offers with her hand out. "Shut your eyes," she demands while moving her hand down in front of her face like a yoga pose.
I look at her a little confused as to what's going on, and she opens one eye and hits my head playfully. I oh and shut them after her.
"Now, love can make people bring out the most extreme versions about yourself," she starts by saying. "So think about someone who gets under your skin like no other, but also makes you feel that weird bubbly feeling whenever you're around him or her." She creates the image, and there's only one thing going on in my mind after she says the first part.
Don't think of Roman, don't think of Roman, don't think of Roman! Too late. Crap! I need to find more people who annoy me as much as he does. Is that even possible?
"Now imagine your standing in front of a door and imagine that door opens with the person you're thinking of." She breathes in and the door actually opens. Like in real life.
We open our eyes and turn our heads around towards the noise. My grandparents' mouth drop at the coincidence, and even I'm a little shocked by the weirdness of that happening so perfectly.
It was just a coincidence.
Yeah, it had to be.
"The lady with the cats is here." Roman ignores our surprised faces and points back with his thumb.
Ms.Benson? She actually came? I thought people just say that out of politeness. Well, we are talking about Ms.Benson so I probably should've expected this.
"You invited that crazy bitch here." My grandma shoots her head towards me.
I glare towards Roman who's the one who made me. He folds his lips to hide his smirk and looks at the ground to hide the humor he finds in this.
Don't think that's attractive, don't think that's attractive, don't think that's attractive...and too late. I'm getting really bad at this whole pep-talk thing.
"I'm gonna go take care of her, but honey." My grandma stands up as my grandpa follows behind her, but not before they both turn around to tell me something. "That's a sign from the lord." She points behind her with her thumb at Roman.
My grandpa nods in definite agreement with his wife, and Roman raises an eyebrow, confused as to what's going on.
She couldn't have said that privately?
"Did she have her cats?" My grandpa sighs at Roman and he nods in a 'sadly yes' type of way. "What was the brown one's name?" he asks my grandma.
"I don't know, they're dead!" she exclaims before walking out with him in annoyance.
Once Roman sees they're gone, he reenters my room.
"I thought you were fucking kidding about the cats," he says in shock and a smile appears on my lips.
"Try going to her house, she puts them on shelves like furniture." I nod seriously, and he still looks surprised at the first cat he probably saw of hers.
♥ ★ ❦ ✱ ♥
A/N: I hope you liked this chapter.
Please tell me if there are any errors.
Word Count: 3361