The world was spinning. Either that or my eyeballs were. My hear felt like an earthquake and every part of my body felt like it was floating in cloud nine. Everything felt good. I was surrounded by bright lights and rainbow. My brain was piping by the rich, woody smell balanced with a soft hint of vanilla.
Now, that smell like home.
"Are you ready to see your room?" A pair of strong hand lightly squeezed me and I looked up to see his face. So handsome. And, not to mention, felt too warm for my own good.
My eyebrows furrowed, "M-my room?"
Then suddenly we stopped walking and I looked up to see a big white door, above it was written London in gold letter.
London?
As in the city, London or my name, London?
"W-what's this?" I mumbled, peering at his face through a strand of hair which had fallen over my cheek. But then, the door was flung open and in the same time, my mouth did kind of mimic its act.
The view in front of me was anything a girl dreamed of. I didn't know if it was by coincidence but the room had the mere representation of my bedroom back at home. Just a lot bigger and smell so much better.
I took my first step inside and felt his hands slowly let me go. But still, Liam maintained the previous position of his arms around me waist, probably just in case I tripped and he could catch me in time.
Liam cleared his throat lightly, "Do you like it?"
I turned to look at him and he seemed a bit impatience to hear my answer. So quickly, I gave it to him.
"Like it?" I repeated shockingly, "Liam, I love it. The room is so beautiful!"
I gasped loudly and he chuckled.
"Also, it looked so much like my room back at home." I said, "My own home."
He smiled, "Well, I could only hope so." He added and I slightly frowned, "Does it make you feel a little less homesick?" He asked.
I nodded and shrugged, "Somewhat, yes."
He looked at me and I looked at him. Though, this time around our eye contacts turned out to be in awkward as his eyes were playing tricks on me and for once, it was impossible to tell what he was thinking.
But, he was definitely thinking something.
"Thank you, Liam." I mumbled cutely and I didn't even realize how wide I was grinning until my muscle started to constrict.
His glance lingered on me as I took a quick tour about the room with my eyes before they landed on the pastel pink poster bed.
That darn pastel pink poster bed.
"It's pretty, isn't it?" He whispered hoarsely and my mind did quick flash back to that day we went shopping with Giovanna at the furniture store. I remembered eying that four posters bed with pink curtain and that's pretty kind of slip out of my lips but that was about it.
"You did not—" I couldn't believe him, "Liam, you cannot be serious! How did you even get it all the way here?!"
He laughed, sliding his hands inside his pockets, "I have my ways."
"You're incredible! This is—" I couldn't even fine the right word to describe him. I was too shocked. It wasn't like I didn't like the bed but the fact that he had it shipped all the way from New York just to surprise me. That was a little too impressive.
"You have been a good girl...and I can't help it but want to get you everything you'd ever want." He said simply.
"Well, it's a good thing you don't have a daughter." I snorted, "I couldn't imagine to which extent you would go if only she just clean her room and do her chores."
I hated to say this, but his daughter was going to be the luckiest girl ever to walk the earth.
Amidst the quietness in between us, I was hoping for Liam to say something but he never did. He just stared at me, not even blinking an eye as if he was trying to read my mind out loud.
Suddenly, I felt weak under his gaze but I tried to convince myself it was just the effects of the alcohol in my system when in fact, a great amount of them had been flushed out of my system since the first minute I stepped into the room. I was no longer drunk but only tipsy.
"It's late..." I cleared my throat as I turned around, giving him my back but made it look like I just wanted to have a better look at the view outside the big window in the living room.
I didn't hear him respond. The only thing I heard was a light step approaching and my whole body froze when a hand placed to one side of my hips. I tried glancing everywhere, distracting myself by tricking my mind and senses to believe that he wasn't touching me.
"Liam, I think you should—"
Before go back to your room even came out of my mouth, an inaudible gasp replaced it as his warm breath tickling down my neck and I was too shocked to even flinch.
I didn't want him to take my silence for nervousness so I swiftly turned around and pretended I was still pretty much drunk.
"Stop that! It tickles." I whined cutely and placed my hands to his chest, gently pushing him away.
Liam gave a throaty chuckle, totally bought it that I was so wasted. But instead of stopping whatever that he was planning to do and let me go, he took hold of my waist firmly and pulled me toward him.
"Liam, what're you doing..." I mumbled anxiously as his hands cupped my face.
"Are you still drunk?" He tested and I narrowed my glance decisively before nodding, "Good. Then, you wouldn't remember I did this."
Did what?
I blinked twice, confusingly as he looked into my eyes. I could have turn my head away but everything happened so quickly even before my mind could process what was going to happen.
Liam put his finger under my chin and lifted my face up. Then, he bent down and kissed me.
My eyes widened in shock but I didn't try to fight my way out of his hold. Instead, I squeezed them tightly shut and let him show me how it should really work.
When two people actually wanted to kiss one another. That was how it felt. That was how it should feel the first time he kissed me on our wedding day.
Butterflies attacked my stomach when Liam deepened the kiss. His free hand went around cupping the back of my head and titled it slightly so that our lips movements could synchronize better.
All of the sudden, a thought flashed through my head and then it hit me that I was kissing my best friend's brother and he was kissing me back. We both were kissing. Hotly. With feelings that may or may not include lust.
That alone was enough for me to gather up my confidence to push him away.
"No. We shouldn't be doing this." Was the first thing I could think of saying and I looked everywhere. Everywhere but him. I was too ashamed to meet his glance.
"London." He cooed and rubbed the back of my neck gently.
"We shouldn't be doing this." I gasped breathlessly and started to feel panic.
What if Giovanna knew. What if Aden knew. And last but not least, what if both of our parents knew.
His, wouldn't mind so much as they were practically dying for us to have babies but mine. I told Mama I didn't want to marry him. I didn't want to be involved with Liam yet my body gave in to his touch and kiss.
It was wrong. It felt so so wrong.
"London, it's okay." His statement couldn't be any clearer but I choose to not listen.
"No." I snapped, "You're my best friend's brother. You're Liam."
His expression then turned a bit and with a much softer and less intimidating tone, he uttered, "I told you I found a girl." He dwelled and I looked at him perplexed but allowed him to continue, "Don't you want to know who is she?"
I do.
But at the same time, I didn't know if I could handle it.
For the past few weeks, weirdly enough but I had been having the feeling that Liam was mine. That he was responsible to my loneliness, sadness and most importantly, happiness. Like, I wanted him to care.
Which he did— and to take away all those benefits of having someone to yourself that fast, surely wasn't sitting well with me.
"It'a none of my business-"
"It was a yes or a no question, London. Answer me. It's not that difficult." He spoke fiercely and I gave up.
"Yes." I breathed out, lowering my eyes defeatedly and getting ready to lose my mind over him.
Him, that I had never have to begin with. I should have known our friendship was a temporary thing and that it would be long gone the day Liam had found himself someone.
The real someone, he would want to spend the rest of his life with.
The someone who wasn't me.
With his hands on my hips, he slowly turned me around. I was confused at first and didn't get his point exactly until I looked closely.
The complete darkness view of outside basically caused the window to work like a mirror. It reflected the whole room. Every little details and every single things I could see come clearly in display.
Everything— including me.
"It's just...me." I didn't want to say it but I was really the only living thing I saw.
"Yes." I heard Liam say, "It's just you."
Then everything slowly fell into its place inside my little head. I didn't want to overreact it but the fact that Liam had just confessed his feeling toward me hit me like a thunderbolt.
In a good way or bad way, I wasn't sure yet. Because I didn't think I could or should have trusted him or his words after everything.
"Is this one of the many tricks you do to get woman to sleep with you?" I taunted, turning around. I looked up at him.
"I don't have to do anything to get woman to sleep with me." He stated and God, I hated it that it wasn't a lie.
There were so many things and emotions bottling up inside of me but I didn't want to let them out. Instead of all those good things I could have said, I decided to send him away.
"You really should go, Liam." I said. Almost sounded like I was begging for him to leave me alone.
"No. You don't want me to go." He concluded.
"You're right. I don't." I admitted, "But in the mean time, I do not want to be one of them. I cannot be one of them, Liam. Do you understand?"
I didn't even realize my voice was raising so much that by the time I was done yelling, my mouth was dry.
"You don't have to worry about that." He said. The time, it was clearly a lie.
"You're saying this now but once you get what you want. I don't mean a thing to you." I stated matter-of-factly, "You do this with a lot of women. You slept with them and you broke their hearts."
"Do you really believe so?"
"I don't believe so. I know so." I affirmed, "And, I have seen you with them. I am everything that they are. Even less, I am not even that attractive. I am not good in bed. I wouldn't even know what am I supposed to do so how could I expect you to treat me any differently...or worst?"
"Say that again and I will not care anymore for your consent." He threatened and my spirit gradually dropped. He held out his hand before he smoothed my hair down the side of my face and cupped it, "I like you."
I almost gave in at his touch. But, thank God for the high level of self-discipline I had.
"I do too." I said, smiling thinly, "You're a great person. You have always been so caring and I look up to you a lot."
"Wh-"
"You're Liam..." I heaved a long breath, "I cannot have feelings for you. I cannot be attracted to you because I can never have you."
"But, do you want to?" He said, pulling me closer and his arm found its way around my waist, "Answer me honestly this time, do you want to have me?"
Do I?
Or do I not. But every times, I tried to search my head for an answer to that question, another negative thought of having Liam came through. I couldn't. I couldn't be with him. He was everything I didn't like. Controlling, secretive, unclear and everything about him was unreliable.
But then, how comes I feel so safe around him? Why did everyday I wake up and the first thing I did was checking his message? And I would even get upset some days when he was too busy to respond to me.
It didn't make any senses. We didn't make any senses.
"I don't know." I began to trail off, "I know we can't be together but you make me feel safe and—"
"Trust." He put an end to my sentence for me and I slowly nodded.
"Yes..." I admitted sadly, "I trust you. Maybe, more than I should but I just do. I don't know why and I hate it too that I feel this way-"
"Stop resisting me." He cut me off.
And it was like my world automatically stopped spinning and took a long pause when Liam glanced down at my face and brushed my hair back before he said to me.
"I want you."
"What?" I looked at him. Confused.
"I want to make love to you."
Wow. And to think that those girls were being over-dramatic to fall that hard in love with him. I totally got them now. He was that good.
"B-but, w-why?" I stuttered, blushing all over like crazy.
"You surprise me sometimes." Liam chuckled lightly, "For someone so attractive and so smart, you can be so damn innocent."
Shaking his head at my stupid question, I darted my eyes down in every direction, taking it all in— his facial expression, his labored breathing and that growing bulge slowly forming in his pants.
I swallowed hardly.
The knuckles of his fingers caressed my cheek and I could feel my knee weaken at his touch. He leaned it, warm breath brushing down my neck and gave my skin an open-mouth kiss.
"Don't you ever wonder how it feel?" He purred, sucking on a small patch of my skin softly.
I closed my eyes and felt my body loosen up at his touch. I was too shy to say yes but I didn't think with his master level of reading human body language, I would need to give him an answer in verbal for him to get it.
"L-Liam..." I moaned. Tremendous heat blazing in my face and my pulse quickened at the feeling of liquid heat pooled between my thighs.
"I know, baby. I know." He cooed softly, feeling the heat of my flush raising through his palm, "Let me take care of you." He whispered into my skin.
My hands fell into fists at my side when Liam grabbed my face and we kissed. This kiss was much, much more intense than the one before and I couldn't help myself but let out a whimper when his tongue forced its way inside of my mouth. He was so good at kissing. Like you didn't have to kiss many times before to know that his skill was impeccable. It successfully delivered all sorts of feelings and his hands were just in all the right places— until they found their way up the slit of my dress.
Instantly, my body cautiously stiffened.
Liam broke the kiss to soothe my thudding nerves, "Relax, I got you."
At his promise, my legs shook but then his arms knowingly went around them and he lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and we continued to kiss for some more.
However, the minute I felt Liam's weight crashing on top of me and my back came in contact with a soft mattress, the heels of my palms suddenly dug into his chest, giving him a signal that I wanted a break again.
I was nervous. So freaking nervous because apart from that being my first time ever, it most likely wasn't his. Liam had done this countless times before so obviously, he would be able to tell what's bad or what's good. What if I was horrible? I didn't even know a single move. Heck, I didn't even know how to make out properly yet if it wasn't for him professionally guiding me onward.
"You're nervous." He said, lightly smiling while he observed my timid expression, "Don't be."
My lips slightly parted, gasping for a short breath as I struggled in discomfort but I did not stop him. My heart was beating out of my chest and my face burned hotly in shame the second his hand came in between my legs and cupped my aching sex.
It felt hot. Like his palm was warming me up inside out and then it got even worst when he started rubbing his fingers all over.
"Liam..." My hands quickly dropped from his hard chest. A warm sensation radiating throughout my body causing it to throb with needs. A different kinds of needs.
"That's my good girl." He whispered into my lips before sealing them shut with his.
Again and again, over and over, he tasted me until we both were breathless. Then, he moved down to my jaw and kissed his way down the length of my neck and as he did so, a few satisfied moans escaped my lips.
When I arched my back to meet his kiss, Liam took that opportunity to reach behind my back and undid my bra. It took him less than two seconds and my bare chest was rubbing against his clothed one.
Liam managed to keep me distracting with his touch and occupied my mouth with his kiss. In a matter of a few seconds, I was completely naked underneath him and I didn't even realize it until he got off of me.
Liam stood up and took off his shirt, then his pants. The heavenly moisture formed in between my legs when his hands went around the rim of his briefs. Everything felt like it was being done in slow-motion. Right when he pulled down his underwear, my mouth went dry.
To say, his ego was too big, his manhood was even more massive.
"It's only going to get larger if you continue to stare at it." He teased, smirking down at me and I blushed before looked away.
I whimpered slightly when Liam returned to our previous position. I could feel all of him. All of him poking me at my thigh.
"Beautiful." He said, looking down at my body.
"Are we doing it now?" I asked innocently and he lightly chuckled.
"No, baby." He brushed a strand of hair away from my face and oh, how I loved it when he did that, "If I do it now, it will hurt you like hell."
I gulped. Feeling of uncertainty was slowly raising in my stomach. It would hurt. At least, that was what people around me had been saying. You felt the pain. You even bled and there would be a lot of discomfort.
First time was no good time.
But then again, there had to be a reason as to why people kept going for the second one.
My eyes closed and my toes curled when his fingers teased the opening of my core. I was dripping wet. Holy. I could hear my juice moving around his fingers and as amazing as he made me feel, I was blushing all over.
"Liam.." I moaned softly. The pleasure his masterful fingering had delivered nearly sent me off the edge. My sex throbbed underneath his touch and I shot my eyes open when he stopped only to see Liam slowly bringing his fingers up to his lips and licked off my essence.
I was aching. All over for the feeling I didn't even know. But I just wanted to feel it. I just wanted to feel him.
"Spread your legs for me." I did as he told but I probably didn't do it enough as he used his knees to force my legs apart even more.
As much as I was craving him, my breath instantly dropped when I felt Liam's hard member lining at my entrance.
"If it gets too much, use your word and I will stop. Alright?" He said, probably sensing my anxiety, "Also, eyes on me the whole time, please."
"Uh-huh." I purred as I looked deep into his eyes and he gave me a small smile in approval.
Then, as gently and carefully as Liam could, he entered me. Inch by inch, his rock-hard shaft forced its way through my tightness, stretching out my walls and I gasped. He rested his forehead against mine and we never for a second broke the eyes contact.
In all of the sudden, everything came unlocked.
"All mine now." He whispered against my lips and with the way he was glaring deep into my eyes while entering me almost made me cum.
Suddenly, a strange but forceful tearing pain ripped straight to my core when his tip reached a certain point and I whimpered in pain.
"Shh..." He cooed, stroking his hand up and down the side of my leg.
The ache inside of me intensified but ever so quickly, the pain was then replaced with incredible pleasure that I could no longer keep my eyes open. I dropped my head onto the pillow and took every bit of what Liam had to offer.
"Fuck. You feel so damn good." He grunted, burying his face into my neck while sliding his shaft in and out of me at a steady pace.
At one swift movement, Liam pushed himself in, balls-deep and a deep groan vibrated from his throat in satisfaction but it was concealed by my scream in ecstasy. My hands rested on his broad shoulders and my nails digging into his skin. As his pace grew quicker, I urged him to come closer.
"Eyes on me, sweetheart. I want to see your pretty face when I make you cum." He mumbled through our kiss and when I moaned again, he smirked down at me and softly, he whispered, "Harder?"
"Yes, please." My answer came sounding almost like a cry. A hot wave of pleasure taken over my body and at his plea, I reached my climax.
"Cum for me."
And I did. Hard and wholly.
One last leisure pump inside of me and I could feel Liam's warm liquid unloading. My tight canal was milking him dry and carefully, he pulled out. Our eyes locked momentarily and I broke the gaze, looking down to see a white liquid dripping down my legs.
"Good night, amore mio."
Liam kissed my forehead one more time before he got up and disappeared inside the bathroom while I laid there, staring blankly up the ceiling with one simple thought.
I just lost my virginity to my best friend's brother.