DISCLAIMER!
As a author, i am aware that this can be a very sensitive topic. I am jewish myself and i have had to study the holocaust since i was little. I have done additional reaserach to write this story but i know some details may be incorrect. If that is going to bother you then do not continue reading my story.
Furthermore, before you read, this story will contain a lot of death. Remember that this is purely fiction with a few touches of my families history.
Please do try to enjoy and give me some feedback. It would be much appreciated.
“Lena! Over here!” I heard him call “my” name. The name that I must use. The name that keeps my family and me safe. The name that I told Felix was mine.
“Felix!” I rushed over to him, grinning widely.
His short black hair was spiked back from the wind as it normally was. His eyes green like the leaves of a pear tree in the spring, the danced with light as if the sun shone on him at all times. His white shiny teeth were visible from his grin. He had a square-like jaw line that was sharp and precise.
He was very muscular, more so then my father or uncle. His shoulders were always back, making him appear confident. He physically dwarfed me in height; he was well over six feet tall.
We were meeting at Town Square as we did every day at four in the afternoon. I wasn’t allowed to show Felix where we live because no one wanted him, or anyone else, to discover us.
He hugged me before taking my hand.
“Work was better today?” I asked.
He was nineteen and told me he worked at a factory right outside of town. He had only been working there for three months but he told me he hated the job. I told him he should quit but he said his father was boss there and wouldn’t let him.
Felix and I have been dating for seven months now. I love him so much and he loves me as well but I often am troubled by my family’s secrets that, if I reveal, could cost us our lives.
“Much better. Besides, I am with you now.” He kissed my cheek and started walking with me.
“Where are we going?” I asked, curiously.
Normally, when we met up, we’d go on walks or sometimes get something to eat. He’d taken me to his home a few times and I got to meet his family. They were such a nice group, joking and laughing a lot.
“Walking around the park,” he replied.
Both of us loved being outdoors. Being inside for too long made both of us feel trapped.
“How was school?” he asked.
“I may or may not have slept through math again.” I told him.
He laughed, a rich sound that made me smile. “Did you get caught?”
“Nope, not this time.” I shoved him playfully.
I was in my last year of school, I wanted it to be over just because I hated math. I’d fallen asleep a lot recently in that stupid class, each time nearly got me in trouble.
Though part of me was not looking forward to being done because then I’d have to go to work in a factory to help support my family.
Maybe I’d get lucky enough to work in the factory Felix’s father owns. Then I’d get to see Felix more.
His father liked me; he thought I was a smart girl with a bit of an attitude. For some reason, he respected that. Not many people did these days.
It was the beginning of December and winter was here. I was wearing my thick beige jacket, a pair of my brother’s pants and my boots.
“Do you think-?” I started to ask him a question but slid on black ice. The stupid kind that no one can see well.
Felix wrapped his arms around my waist before I crashed to the ground. He stood me back up next to him.
“I know I’m good looking but you don’t have to fall at my feet.” He smirked.
“Right, like I’d ever do that for anyone.” I flicked his forehead.
“Not even for me?” he pouted, teasing me.
“If you’re lucky.”
We joked around and not five minutes later, I slipped again.
“Why can’t it be snow?” I complained after he saved me from falling on my face once again.
“I hear we might get some tomorrow.” He told me. “We’re going to sit on a bench because your clumsiness scares me.”
I laughed, I was fairly clumsy, and the ice didn’t help.
It reminded me of the day I met him.
I had been exiting the bakery after buying several loaves of bread for Shabbat dinners. Though we were celebrating silently, we had plenty of mouths to feed, ten to be exact. I had two large brown bags to carry home.
I ended up tripping and dropping nearly everything. My knees were bleeding but I was more concerned about the bread and all the money I had wasted. We never had much to begin with.
“Are you alright? That looked like nasty fall.” A man had rushed over to my side. At first I had thought he was a Gestapo officer so I was stuttering in my fear.
“I-I’m f-fine, sir-r.” I replied picking up the loaves with trembling hands. I dropped a loaf due to my trembling hands.
I mentally scolded myself for not being more composed. This would cause suspicion.
“Let me help.” He helped pick up the four loaves on the ground. Only two had remained in the bag. “You shouldn’t eat these, they’re dirty.”
“It’ll be alright, thank you.” I said in a still shaky voice. I stood up; ready to leave but he grabbed my arm.
Heat flared where his hands touched and I didn’t move.
“I’ll buy you some new loaves.” He said.
I looked at him in shock, no one was ever that kind around here. I had thought he was joking but his eyes, those beautiful eyes, told me otherwise.
“What? I can’t let you-“ I started to protest but he didn’t let me finish.
“I insist.” He led the way into the bakery.
“I don’t have the money to repay you.” I protested as he bought four more loaves.
“Then let me take you on a date and we’ll call it even.”
“I don’t even know your name.” I was blinking in shock.
“Felix, and yours?”
“Lena.” I answered after a minute.
“Looks like you owe me a date then, Lena.”
If I had never fallen, I would’ve never met Felix.
From there, after the first date we went on another, then another. Eventually I started falling for him and he asked me to be his girlfriend.
A few Gestapo officers marched through the park, patrolling I assumed. I cringed at the sight of them and Felix put an arm around me. He knew I was very afraid of them but he thought it was just because they carried around guns.
“As if I’d let them shoot you.” He murmured in my ear.
I smiled slightly, maybe he would if he knew I was Jewish.
My name is Eliana Goldenberg and my family secretly practices Judaism. We hide our religion to keep from being killed by Nazi soldiers or the Gestapo.
We had lived in another town when they built what is called a concentration camp. It’s been said that they torture you until you die just because of your religion.
My mother, father, aunt and uncle agreed that we moved here and created new names. We didn’t have enough money to escape Germany all together.
They decided we could keep our religion as long as no one found out.
We had been living here for a year and a half.
A concentration camp had been built recently somewhere around here. We don’t have enough money to move again so we just have to stay hidden.
“Lena, do you want to come over to my house for dinner tomorrow?” Felix asked, reminding me that I was still with him.
“Sure.” I replied. It was Friday afternoon and my family would have Shabbat tonight but I was allowed to leave home after noon on Saturday.
Felix and I stayed and talked for a while about school, food and winter. I always felt restricted on what I could talk about.
“Please don’t fall on your way home.” He teased me.
“No promises.” I smirked.
We kissed briefly before we parted ways. He knew he couldn’t walk me home but I had never told him why.
Things were so complicated between us, I wasn’t sure if Felix thought that as well. I couldn’t talk about half of the things I wanted to. He couldn’t come to my house.
The man I love doesn’t know who I really am because I cannot tell him. He knows Lena, the girl I had to pretend to be.
I never wanted to do more then kissing with him because I haven’t told him who I am. I can’t let him completely be with someone he hardly knows.
I realize it’s not fair for me to be in love with him. He deserves a normal girlfriend who doesn’t lie about her identity. He deserves someone who can be with him like a normal couple. He deserves someone who plans to have a long life.
But I became very selfish. I didn’t want to let him go. He was the one piece of my life that was normal, like any other average teen. I loved him and it would hurt to let him go.
He made me hope that some day my life could be normal and I could openly date someone like him. He helped me get through the days of lying because with him, I felt special and I could share small bits of the person I really am.
I went into the little grey house, wincing at how bleak it looked. The door was scratched up, the white paint chipping to reveal the tan wood underneath. The windows were covered with curtains on the inside. The shutters were precariously perched.
It was definitely not the best home but it was a roof over our heads. We could hardly afford it. I knew better then to complain.
There was a main level that had a kitchen, a dining table, an old tattered uncomfortable green couch and matching chair, and a very small bathroom.
Up the creaky wooden stairs was a hallway that had four bedrooms and another bathroom with a tub. My mother and father shared a room, my aunt and uncle. My brother, Levi, and my cousin, David share one. My Baba, or grandmother, gets her own room.
My sisters, Shira, Tziporah and I share the basement cellar. It was cold often and there used to be a lot of bugs but father got them out for us. The three of us shared two mats and two large blankets.
When I entered, everyone was getting ready for Shabbat prayers and dinner. I went to talk to my mother first.
My mama had her brown curly hair tied back into a loose ponytail. She had blue eyes, the color of the deep ocean. She was my height and a bit more pudgy. She looked tired from working all day as a seamstress.
“Hello, mama.” I said, putting my coat and boots in the closet.
“How is Felix?” she asked, smiling at me.
My family initially had been against me dating. They said it was too much of a risk that he’d find out about us.
My Baba and mother supported me and persuaded my father, aunt and uncle to allow it. They had said I was a smart girl who deserved something normal in her life.
“He was happy today.” I smiled, setting out the candles to be ready for lighting. “Can I go to his house for dinner tomorrow?”
“I don’t see why not.” She replied. “Go upstairs and call everyone down, alright?”
“Is papa home?”
“Not yet.” She sighed, peeking out a front window.
I went upstairs. David, Baba and my Aunt Tovah were the only people I hadn’t seen rushing around besides my father.
I knocked on my cousin’s door. David was most likely studying or reading something. He liked learning and acquiring knowledge.
“David? Mama asked me to get you to come down for dinner.” I opened the door and found him reading on his bed.
David is seventeen as well and in my level at school. He’s probably six and a half feet tall but he is very lean. He has blonde shaggy hair that covered one of his eyes and had blue eyes like my mom.
We were close; we found it hard to make friends at school so we stuck together. We watched each other’s backs.
“Back from meeting your lover already?” he teased me, grinning. I blushed and he continued. “I’m just impressed you are on time for Shabbat for once.”
“David, let her be and help me down the stairs.” My Baba stood in the small hallway next to me.
She was a short woman, maybe less than five feet tall. Her once brown hair like my mothers was now limp and thinning grey hair, her eyes were a bit paler blue. She wore glasses at all times. For a woman who recently turned seventy-seven, she could get around fairly well but she hated stairs.
My grandfather died nearly a year ago but Baba seemed to be doing okay. She stayed strong, never letting anyone catch her grieving. She said he wouldn’t want her to be upset.
I watched her and David slowly descend the stairs.
The last person I had to get was my aunt Tovah. Since the new concentration camp was built around here, she’s been crying more. She’s losing hope that anything will get better in Germany. Her family had been taken to a camp, she hasn’t heard from them.
She tried to keep that from Shira and Levi simply because they were younger. If the two of them lost hope, we all would slowly follow.
“Aunt Tovah? It’s time for Shabbat.” I peeked into the slightly ajar door.
“Did you see the Gestapo today?” she asked, worry evident in her pale blue eyes. Her blonde hair messy and frizzing. She asked me this regularly, as if nervous they would figure us out just by one glance at me.
“Just the normal patrolling.” I told her, as mama had told me to. If anything did happen, I was to tell my mom before anyone else.
“Good, good.” She smiled a bit and followed me downstairs.
Everyone was at the table waiting for us. Papa was there as well. I grabbed a seat between Tziporah and David.
“Who is leading service tonight?” Aunt Tovah asked.
“Eliana will do it.” David volunteered me, grinning. I elbowed him in the ribs.
“Go ahead, Matok.” Baba smiled. (Matok is a term of endearment).
I cleared my throat and went through the prayers, the candle lighting, Kaddish and the blessing over the food. That whole process took half an hour.
“Lovely, Eli.” My father smiled proudly when it was time to eat.
My father was only a bit taller then my mother. He had short black hair and a small beard. I got my light chestnut brown eyes from him.
“I could’ve done better.” Shira mumbled, put out that she wasn’t receiving the compliments.
Shira, my younger sister, was fourteen. She was extremely vain and a attention seeker. Her short curly black hair went just past her ears. She had brown eyes that were not as light and sparkling as my father’s and mine. She was only an inch taller then Baba.
“Shira, hush.” my mother scolded her.
I just ignored Shira’s comment as I had learned to do so. I was considered no better if I said anything spiteful in response.
“Tziporah how was work today?” David asked her to start a new conversation.
Tziporah had long brown hair that was slightly wavy. It was still tied back from work. She had bright blue eyes. She was as tall as papa. She had a body that any girl my age wanted, skinny, curvy and bigger breasts.
She was twenty and worked at the bakery. She got that job two or three months ago instead of working in factories.
I was close with her. She was the first person to find out about Felix. I trust her with all of my secrets. She gives me advice.
She and David were the only people that I let Felix meet.
“I saw Felix this morning.” She told us. “He bought bread and cookies. He told me he got to go into work late today because his dad wanted him to pick up bread. Guess he has a sweet tooth as well.”
I grinned; I loved chocolate or really anything sweet. Felix knew that and he’d sometimes buy me a cookie or chocolate.
After dinner, my uncle led the prayers.
My uncle looked very much like his sister, my mother. He had short curly brown hair and blue eyes. He was tall like David and slightly less muscular then Felix.
He and my father worked at construction sites. They almost had to help build the concentration camp but they requested to be anywhere else. I overheard my father telling my mother that helping create that place would be like digging his own grave.
My uncle had to do the torah reading for tonight.
My mother and aunt, when we moved, had insisted on bringing the torah with us. If anyone saw it, they would instantly know we were Jewish. We would be reported to the Gestapo.
After the torah portion, we all sung songs. We had to keep quiet if we sung in Hebrew. So we did some English and some Hebrew.
We got to sing my favorite song “Bashana Ha’baah” which means “next year”.
Soon the day will arrive
When we will be together,
And no longer will man live in fear.
And the children will smile,
Without wond'ring whether dark new clouds in the sky will appear.
You will see, you will see
How good it will be
Next year
Later, Levi asked David and I to play cards with him. We easily agreed, going up to their room.
Levi was eleven. He had shaggy brown hair and blue eyes.
He was a fairly quiet kid. I always felt bad for him because he didn’t have many friends. The person closest to his age at home was Shira and they never have gotten along. So Tziporah, David and I were his best friends.
I admired Levi. He was always trying to look on the bright side and his hope never wavered. I wished I were as sure of my hope as he was.
We played games on the ground while the adults sat at the table listening to our small radio.
David and I tended to eavesdrop to hear the news.
Today they were talking about people trying to attack Germany. Hitler was stealing other countries territories to gain power. There was so much war and violence surrounding Germany.
Something that always bothered me was that the radio people never acknowledged or even mentioned all of the deaths resulting from war. They hardly even mentioned soldiers. Did anyone even consider the families of those who died? How many lives have been altered or ruined from all of this war?
No one seemed to care in Germany. Death was considered sacrifices to helping the country win. Hitler surely didn’t care if he kept making people press on and fight.
He also wasn’t against killing his own people if he wanted to exterminate a fraction of the people in his country.
The man on the radio announced that Hitler was considering bombing the United States, a strong nation who was the remaining Jews of Germany’s only remaining hope.
“God save us all.” Aunt Tovah whispered before standing up and rushing upstairs.
My uncle went up to go comfort her. My mother rested her head on my father’s shoulder. Tziporah was holding Baba’s hand.
David and I exchanged a look. He looked worried but he tried to smile a bit at me.
“It’s your turn, Eli.” Levi was smiling, oblivious to the heavy atmosphere around him.
Sometimes, I wish I could still be that, oblivious.
starting off with a long chapter. i have the first few chapters written out. im really excited to share this story.
hope it interests you! let me know!
Happy new year!
<3
Tori