I go to work as I do every Friday, trying to focus on my students and what I must teach them, but it’s difficult because my mind keeps drifting towards Liam. I steal glances at my mobile, hoping but dreading to see a message or missed call. I don’t know if I should go to him or if he’ll come to me or if we’ll see each other at all. I mean, officially it’s over; we don’t need to do anything. But we at least need to say goodbye, don’t we? We’ve been together for six months. Fake as it was, it still was a relationship. We forgot the whole contract at some point until it came back to haunt us and force us apart. I do have strong feelings for him, feelings that keep growing no matter what I do and now I feel a hole in my chest because I know we won’t be together anymore. It makes me want to tell Simon to think of something else because I can’t let him go. I know that’s not the wisest choice, but it’s what I would like.
We have to make sacrifices for the people we love and for our futures.
However, I’m scared to say goodbye because maybe I won’t be able to walk away. I don’t know how he’ll look at me. Will he try to stop me? Will he try to convince me to forget about the contract and try this time for real? Will I be able to decline if he asks that? God knows I want that. I want to forget all the dubious past, the lies we told and the shady way we got together. The unconventional way I fell for him.
When I’m free to go, I check my mobile just to confirm that I have no notifications whatsoever. I sigh heavily and decide on one course of action. I’ll go to the label, to make sure everything is settled smoothly, and say goodbye to Havi. She was supposed to coordinate everything, but the lines merged together and we didn’t need her anymore. I feel a bit bad for her. She couldn’t do her job because we confused real from not real.
Once I’m at Syco’s headquarters, I look for my father first and of course he’s with Ariel, recording a new track.
“Belle, what a surprise. How was work?” he asks after giving me a hug. Ariel runs outside the booth towards me.
“I came to see Simon. The contract ends today,” I tell my father and he smiles radiantly.
“You did it, Belle! I knew you would. Thank you so much. We’re almost done with Ariel’s album, so all this’s been worth it.” I know he’s really grateful. But he doesn’t know I fell for Liam. He doesn’t know that this contract came back to bite me in the bum and I can’t tell him that. I would rather him focus on his own problems and duties instead of getting distracted with my own little drama.
I feel Ariel taking my hand and I turn to look at her. She’s worried, I can tell, so I smile reassuringly at her, to tell her I’m okay even if I’m not. “Louis,” Ariel tells my father. “May I take a break to have a coffee with Belle?”
“Of course, dear! Go with Belle. Be back in twenty minutes, though,” my dad instructs and we both nod as Ariel drags me outside.
“Are you doing okay?” she immediately questions and I sigh.
“I’m not. I’m so confused and scared. I don’t know if I should see him but I feel like I owe him at least a goodbye. But then, won’t that be painful?” I rant and Ariel surprises me by giving me a hug. She’s sweet and caring, but she’s very awkward and not good with physical contact, unless it’s Niall or Harry.
I let her hug me and give me the comfort I need. I hold on to her and hide my face in her shoulder, her hair tickling me. She’s shorter than me and thinner, almost like a little girl. I know she’s barely eighteen, but she feels like a fifteen-year-old girl in my arms. Yet she’s still so warm and welcoming, almost like a mum should feel like.
“I’m so sorry, Belle. Can’t you change your mind?” she questions and I shake my head. Simon asked me for this and I agreed already, for Liam’s sake. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” I add still hugging her.
After that, instead of going for coffee, Ariel walks with me to Simon’s office where I’m announced. I hug Ariel goodbye so she can go back to work and walk inside to find Havi and Simon.
“Isabelle! Lovely to see you,” the CEO greets me, Havi smiles sadly at me. “We were just talking about you and how wonderful everything turned out. You did a great job and now you’re free. We’ll transfer your last payment at the end of the month and after that you won’t have to deal with us anymore.”
I just nod because I can’t make myself say anything out loud. Havi reaches for my hand, like Ariel did, giving me a tight squeeze. It’s weird to have friends, but I’m so relieved I do have them.
“Thank you for what you did for Liam and for what you keep doing. Did you talk to him?” I shake my head.
“He’s at his flat, you can go see him to say goodbye,” Havi intervenes and I shut my eyes for three seconds. “We’ll manage the breakup so if someone asks you about it, don’t mention it. Say you have no comments and that it’s difficult for you. The official statement will be that distance was too much for you two, especially with the American leg coming up.” I nod again and even if Havi is speaking formally and all business-like, her eyes show me how sorry she is.
“Your father is doing a great job, Belle, so you did the right thing,” Simon reassures me. “We’ll release Ariel’s first single at the end of this month and it’ll be a great one.”
“That’s wonderful,” I finally speak. “I knew he could do it this time. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll take my leave. It was my pleasure,” I say with a slight nod of my head. Havi stands up and gives me a hug.
“If you need anything, just call me, okay? Forget work, we’re friends,” she whispers in my ear and I hug her tighter before we break apart.
“Goodbye, Isabelle,” Simon says shaking my hand and I’m free to go. Free to walk away and I still can’t believe I feel so unhappy about it.
My next stop is Liam’s flat. I go to see him and say goodbye and I pray I get back home in one piece, although that’s very unlikely because it feels like with every step I take, my heart shatters more and more. By the time I’m at his door, I can barely breathe. My chest feels so tight and the lump in my throat is choking me, but I still knock and wait, hugging myself to keep me together, but I don’t think this is enough. And when he opens the door, I force the smile.
“Belle! The perfect girlfriend has arrived!” exclaims Liam, although I can barely understand because he’s actually slurring.
I blink in confusion until he grabs my face and pulls me to a kiss, only then I realise he’s drunk. I try to pull back but he grabs my waist and drags me inside, closing the door behind.
“Liam, stop,” I beg, pulling back as much as I can but his hold is strong around my waist. “Stop!”
“Why? Can’t I kiss my lovely girlfriend?” he retorts with a mocking grimace before he starts kissing my neck. I shiver not because this feels good, but because his behaviour is breaking even more my heart.
“Stop it before I hit you!” I shout giving him a last push and I succeed this time, he stumbles backwards and I’m panting. “Whatever you have in mind it won’t happen like this,” I state coldly. This is good because it freezes my broken heart and I can handle this.
“Why not? It’s still the twentieth, you’re still my girlfriend and we’ve been together for six months but nothing has happened! Why can’t we say goodbye like this? I definitely can’t stop you!” he shouts back and I get angry.
Does he really just want to have sex? Is this why he’s angry?
“Because it won’t happen when you’re wasted!” I shout even louder and his expression turns darker.
“Oh, so you can play with me, give me hopes for months but I can’t expect anything else from you? You make me think you feel the same way but you still don’t even hesitate when the contract expires.” He throws his arms to the air and laughs humourlessly. “Such a great actress you turned out to be, Belle. I fucking believed you! I fucking believed every kiss, touch and look but you came here just to tell me the contract is over, didn’t you? The contract, the contract, the contract! That’s all you ever say.”
“You’re being unfair, Liam. I haven’t said anything about it,” I reply but my voice is weak because I did come for that, to say goodbye because the contract is over. But I didn’t pretend. At least not the last four months. I kissed him because I wanted, because I meant it. I hugged him because I loved being in his arms. I didn’t pretend.
“But you came for that!” he yells and I hug myself, the ice melting, leaving the broken pieces of my heart exposed again. “You just came to tell me that it’s never been real. You never really were my girlfriend.” He ruffles his hair in a desperate and confused movement and I want to reach him, hug him and tell him it’s not like that, but I can’t. “You came to laugh at me, for being an idiot and expecting more.” Liam turns to give me an icy glare. “And I don’t mean sex. I mean something real, I expected you wouldn’t fucking care about this bloody contract. I thought we were beyond that but you’ve been pulling us apart for a month.”
“Liam,” I call but he shakes his head.
“You little…” he doesn’t finish that, but I can complete it in my head with many colourful insults. “You don’t even pity me. I’ve been drinking the whole bloody day because I knew you would come. I wanted to be numb but you know what? It doesn’t help! It fucking burns inside because I’ve been the biggest idiot! No matter how much I drink, it still hurts that you were pretending the whole time, that it meant nothing to you and you’re just walking away. You cold, heartless… Oh fuck, I can’t even insult you properly!”
I look away because even if he doesn’t say it out loud, I know clearly what he’s thinking and it hurts. It hurts that he doesn’t even give me a chance to explain things to him. I gave him chance after chance to apologise for all the things he did, but he’s not capable of giving me the benefit of doubt! He is just assuming the worst without letting me utter a word about it. He’s not even letting me say a proper goodbye.
“You know what? Fine. Believe what you want, Liam. I pretended. I never cared about you. I’m not hurting at all for all this. Fine! I’m a cold-hearted bitch! Say it!” I spat, losing my temper because I expected a painful but calm goodbye. I expected to cry and hesitate. I even expected he would make me think twice about it and maybe change my mind. For fuck’s sake, I wanted him to say a little thing to give me an excuse to refuse to listen to Simon.
Nothing is going as it should be.
“Cold-hearted bitch,” he mutters, but he looks as if saying those words is hurting him more than they are hurting me.
Good. He started this and now he’s ending it.
“Do you feel better now?” I defy. “Good. Your whim was fulfilled. You got your girlfriend and now your girlfriend is walking away after you assumed the worst and didn’t even let her explain things. Congratulations, Liam.”
I turn around, hugging myself as I storm outside, the hole in my chest eating me alive. I can’t breathe, but I keep walking on, towards the lift, fighting the tears welling up in my eyes. I won’t cry. I won’t bloody cry over this. No matter how much it hurts that I’m walking away from Liam and that I won’t see him again. I won’t cry. I won’t cry. I won’t. For all I’ve got, I won’t cry.
The doors of the lift are closing when I see Liam bursting out of his flat, but it’s too late. I can’t see him anymore, the doors have closed and the first tear is falling.
Oh fuck, I’m crying.
-:-:-
You all knew it was coming, so what happens now? 1.5K votes for the next update?
Bel, xx