ANIMA
Soul
"Yoongi, there's a package on the porch. Did you order something?"
My voice echoed up the stairs from the entryway and I heard Yoongi call down from his office upstairs.
"Yeah! I'll be right down, babe!"
Babe...
It was still so surreal, waking up next to him every morning, smelling the coffee and tangerines like clockwork at 7am. It was sometimes hard to believe how domestic we had become in such a short time, but the farmhouse was practically begging for a family to warm it up. After being like a hollow shell for the past few years, it was yearning for late night conversations in the sun porch and sloppy kisses after too much wine.
"What is it?" I asked, handing the flat rectangular box to Yoongi.
"I got you something," he fidgeted, licking his lips, gently pushing the box back towards me.
He's always so shy when he gives me anything. It's adorable.
I tilted my head and playfully pouted at him with the "You shouldn't have" face.
"Yoongi..."
I lifted the packing paper inside, revealing the antique score to Dvorak's New World Symphony that we had held and admired together in New York.
"You bought this for me?" I gasped softly through tears, "How?"
"I called the bookstore after we left and asked them to ship it to the house. I paid over the phone," he started to relax, walking over to wrap his arm around me.
"It's my favorite piece... And this is an antique copy... I don't know what to say..." I took a breath, looking down at the beautiful book sitting on the table next to me, feeling Yoongi's hand tracing up and down my arm, "Thank you. Thank you so much. I love it."
"I couldn't pass it up, but I didn't want it to get damaged while we were running around the city, so I figured I'd just make it into a surprise for when we got home. So... surprise!" he smiled, laughing softly.
"This is such a thoughtful gift..." I turned the pages, "This means so much to me. This is so much more than sheet music. Thank you, Yoongi."
"Would you like me to play it for you?" he asked, pecking my forehead.
We sat down next to each other on the piano bench, opening to the first page. Without saying a word, Yoongi's fingers began picking through the beautiful melody of the first movement. I loved watching his hands up close - the graceful curve of his fingertips, the veins that made them look so masculine and strong. His technique was always so delicate and effortless, and hearing my favorite piece of music played by his hands was an otherworldly experience.
I reached up to turn the pages as he played through the entire piece, watching him *sight read the whole thing so perfectly that you'd have sworn he'd just studied it for months. I watched his eyebrows rise and fall, dancing above his lashes and his focused gaze, as his body moved to the rhythm next to me. I hummed along to the spritely folk melodies of the first movement, prompting Yoongi to break his concentration and smile, crinkling his eyes out of view.
PLUNK
"Shit." he laughed, "I never hit wrong notes. That's probably the first time in over a decade. I just... don't mess up anymore."
"Well, how about that. I ruined your winning streak," I nudged him with my elbow, "Hope you're not too upset with me."
He turned to me, letting a little breathy chuckle slip as his palm found its way to the small of my back.
"Not at all," he winked.
We made our way to the couch eventually, tiring of sitting on the piano bench, and curled up together to spoon. We were both still so exhausted from the Cabaret the day before, and emotionally drained, so we could barely keep our eyes open. In our sleepy state, in barely audible mumbles, we just... talked.
And it was really nice.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked softly.
"Mmhmm?" his low sleepy voice vibrated through his chest against my back.
"Is this where you would want to stay if we stay together long-term?"
There was a moment of silence before he replied.
"If?" he asked, fixating on my wording.
"I don't plan on going anywhere, if that's what you mean..." I turned my head back to kiss him gently on the bottom lip of his lazy smile.
"I've been thinking about that, actually," he started, seeming unsure of how to continue, "I think we should move, Faye."
Even though my question was open-ended, and I could have received any answer, I was still surprised at how he answered me.
"Move?" I asked, making sure I heard him right, "Move where?"
"New York. We have so many opportunities there. And..." he looked over me at the rehearsal room, scanning the walls, "It's time I leave this place. I can't raise a family here."
I rolled over onto my back and looked up at him.
"This is the second time you've brought up children now... " I started, "I'm just.."
"I know it's so soon... I don't mean it has to happen soon... I'll wait ten years. But Faye, I can't see anyone but you. I want to start a life with you in New York. Start over in our own place. You'll be closer to your dad. Your dad can see our children grow up..."
I cut him off, half-smiling and half-in-tears.
"Yoongi..." my voice lightened as I fought back tears, "I don't know what to say..."
"Say yes..."
"Well of course! But what about this house? I'm going to miss it so much - the view, the drive here, the sunsets..."
"It'll still be part of the family. We aren't selling it. My dad would have to approve that anyway, and he won't. Maybe one day we'll move back here when we retire." he winked.
"Guess we'll have to really enjoy this place while we're still here, huh?" I laughed.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I doubt all of the guys are just going to suddenly decide to move..." I started.
"The guys?"
"I will really miss them. So I'd like to spend a lot of time with them before we go."
"Spend time with them in what way?" I piqued his curiosity.
"I don't know. Maybe we could have one last celebration before we go..." I smiled.
"Oh, that kind of celebration, huh?" he chuckled, tugging at my hips, teasing me, "You liked all that, did you?"
"I can't lie..." I laughed, throwing my hand over my eyes, shaking my head, "I did... I really did."
He laughed with me, snuggling me close, leaning close to my ear.
"I liked it, too," his gruff whisper tickled the baby hairs around my ears.
We fell asleep on the couch that afternoon, sleeping for several hours before I was awoken by a phone call.
Yoongi was still asleep as I slipped from his arms to grab my phone from the piano top across the room. He didn't wake until after the call ended, when I sat next to him.
I placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.
"Yoongi... Please wake up," my voice wavered, "Jane just called. Roy is on End-of-Life status. They don't know how much longer it's going to be. We have to go..."
His sleepy eyes opened to meet mine and instantly furrowed with concern as he reached for me, holding me close.
"Shhh... I know we're not ready for this, but we're going to get through it together, okay, Faye?"
"I know. I know we will..." I said softly, taking a deep breath against him, holding on so I wouldn't get sucked into the spiral of my emotions.
"Let's go," he said, pulling me up from the couch and grabbing our coats from the closet.