Quinn Parker
Rubbing at my tired eyes, I fiddled with the red lanyard hanging around my neck and glanced around the busy room full of crew members. I noticed a couple of them looking in my direction, obviously hearing about me fainting and having Harry find me.
It was early, probably around 6 in the morning at this point. Today was tour bus day again which meant we had to have another briefing. I shifted in my place, feeling a little uncomfortable and clasped my hands together, darting my eyes around the room for a familiar face.
"Quinn." I heard, turning my head to see Elijah.
"Hey." I breathed a sigh of relief, bumping my shoulder against his with a laugh.
"Hey." He said, holding out a coffee cup and nodding for me to take it. "Here."
"Coffee? Does it look like I need it huh?" I laughed, raising my eyebrow jokingly.
Elijah grinned at me, lifting the coffee cup in his own hand to his lips. "Nah, you always look fresh and awake now." He teased back, a cheeky grin spreading on his features. Bumping my shoulder into his again carefully, I narrowed my eyes at him and muttered "cheeky shit."
I tore my eyes away the minute I heard Sam shuffling in, clipboard in hand. His cheeks were a little red and he seemed like he'd been running around all morning, I couldn't imagine what it was like being in charge of this whole operation. Definitely not a job I envied or wanted.
"Morning everyone. The drive down to our next stop is around 10 hours or so. We will be making a pit stop along the way. I'd say keep yourself as pre-occupied as you can on this journey, it's probably the perfect time to get some sleep in. Once in San Francisco, we have two shows over the course of three days so yes, we all get a free day."
I smiled at the news, hearing people around me whisper quietly amongst each other. The mood of the room changed a little, shifting into something I could only really describe as content. I know I had only joined half way through the tour so I can only imagine how tired people must be that have been here from the very beginning.
Once Sam had finished off his speech, I lifting the coffee cup to my lips and followed the crowds out of the doors and walked towards the busses located outside. I dug out my key card for the bus in my pockets and scanned it, hearing the familiar beeping sound that indicated it was opening for me. I took the few steps up and saw I was the only one on the bus this morning for now, meaning the others would probably be on within the next ten minutes or so.
I didn't mind because it meant not having to see Harry again. I'm beginning to think he is deliberately coming to find me just to mess with my head or something. Glancing over at the table I was sat at yesterday, pursing my lips slightly. I couldn't quite explain what came over me yesterday but I snapped, suddenly called him sunshine and told him there were two players at the game. My eyes narrowed a little at the seat. For my own sanity, I knew the only way to get through this tour was to join them instead of trying to beat them, and by them...I meant Harry.
Making my way towards the back of the bus sluggishly, my hand lifting to rub the back of my back tiredly. I could feel how tired my body was from lack of sleep but I couldn't sleep without dreaming about that night. I didn't want to relieve it over and over again so...I'd rather be sleep deprived. Given that I'd be sharing the bunk bed area now with two other people I didn't want to disturb them either.
Pursing my lips together, I sat down on my bunk bed and pressed my back against the wall, my eyes glancing down at my scuffed converse shoes hanging slightly off the bed. Lifting the coffee cup to my lips again, I sipped at it quietly whilst thinking about the sleeping arrangement I'd be in for the next few days. The anxiety began to eat at me knowing that there would be other people around me. I just knew this meant I'd be getting next to no sleep in the coming days.
I glanced down at my bag and ran my tongue out over my bottom lip in thought. My fingers reached over for the material bag that lay beside me, reaching in for the black tatted journal. My fingertips ran over the material for a moment before tugging the book out gently. I had opened the book briefly yesterday before Harry came on the bus, finally mustering up enough courage to have another look at the list.
Glancing down at the book now on my lap, I ran my fingers against the spine of the book slowly. I don't know why I got nervous every time I was close to opening the journal, I knew what I was going to look at.
I knew what to expect I just...didn't want to look.
It was almost like having access to her deep thoughts, her secrets that she kept from me even when she was alive. Would she want someone like me to even look at what she wrote? I was the cause of all this...pain. I closed my eyes for a moment and bit down on my bottom lip, feeling the familiar sting of tears behind my eyes. I needed to pull myself together.
It was probably pathetic to be sat around moping about something I couldn't control but I did feel guilt. I felt the guilt eating at every single fibre of my being so much so that it haunted my every waking and sleeping moments. Like a memory I was being forced to relive over and over again. My memory from that night seemed to foggy and I could never quite piece together what happened or how we ended up the way we did. The most vivid memories that resided in my brain were four distinct things.
The blood.
The song.
The light.
Her words.
It pained me. Not knowing exactly what happened. I remember waking up in the hospital bed a few days later with my leg and arm in casts, cuts in more places than I could count and my crying mother telling me what had happened to Charlotte. We should never have drunk that night but...it just seemed strange. Like I was missing something massive.
I lifted a hand up and threaded my fingers through my hair, hissing quietly at the pain of accidentally knocking the stitches on my forehead. "Fuck fuck fuck...." I breathed, cupping my palm over the cut with my eyes scrunched closed. I could feel the cut throbbing underneath, cursing at myself under my breath for being clumsy.
Opening one eye, I heard the sound of shoes crashing into the bus and the voices of the boys filling the area.
"Harry, you know you have to host the party right?" Louis said.
"You did technically loose the bet." Niall said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Fuck off." I heard Harry mutter.
Furrowing my brows slightly, I quietly lifted my legs so they were visible from the hallway and folded them. I chewed on the inside of my cheek, cocking my brow up slightly when I heard them speaking.
"Nah, you can't tell us to fuck off. It's true." Louis shot back.
"I'll get Quinn to organise it." He muttered.
"Ahh, the irony of that." I heard Niall laugh.
I leant forward slightly when I heard my name, furrowing my brows in confusion at their conversation. I know it was probably wrong to listen in on their conversation but I did hear my name so of course that piqued my interest. My mother always told me to never listen in on people's conversations but was there any harm when you knew your name was being thrown about?
What were they talking about? Irony? What bet?
I stayed quiet as I heard the door closest to the bunk area suddenly open and the sounds of voices fading along with shoes scuffing the floor giving me an indicator that they had gone into the band area on the bus. I blew a raspberry out in frustration from not hearing any more of their conversation. I wanted to know what they were taking about and what Niall meant about him loosing a bet. Why was it ironic when it involved me?
I shifted in my place slightly and pursed my lips.
"You know it's rude to eves drop."
I looked up suddenly, moving my ear away from the door and looked around the corner to see Harry standing at the door. A pretty loud gasp left my lips, a pretty big indicator that I had been caught in the act of something. Oh shit. "What?" I asked stupidly, trying to buy myself some time for an excuse but my mind was totally blanking on me.
"You did make it pretty obvious." He said, motioning to my feet poking out slightly from the door. He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder before looking back at me again. "Also, from the doorway you could see someone was sat here. You're basically sitting right in anyone's line of sight when you're stood in the doorway."
I could feel my cheeks begin to burn up from a mixture of embarrassment from being caught and nerves from having Harry in the room. I hated being caught doing anything I shouldn't be doing. This is why I shouldn't listen in on conversations, it's purely to avoid awkward interactions such as this one. I sheepishly lifted a hand to rub at arm, both of my eyes glancing up at him.
"Oh...so stealthy isn't...my middle name." I joked, shaking my head quickly hoping it would somehow defuse any tension and advert the attention off of my stupidity. "I wasn't trying to listen in, I just...overheard my name so my ears pricked up." I admitted, nodding my head to solidify my point as best I could.
"What's that?" He asked suddenly, changing the subject completely which threw me off guard.
"What?" I asked.
"The book. You read it yesterday and now today. What is it?" He asked again, his green eyes flickering between me and the book settled on my lap.
I shut it quickly in reflex and widened my eyes, not entirely sure how to answer that question fast enough. I was never the best at lying when it came to being under pressure and this would be no exception.
"It's...just a book." I muttered quietly.
"Well, what's it about? You seem to carry it everywhere with you." He said, folding his arms over his chest and leaning against the door frame. I could see my reaction at wanting to not talk about it only fuelled his need for knowing. I could feel my emotions tangling inside me, tying my stomach in knots which causing my breathing to become a little faster.
"It's nothing." I said, my voice raising slightly as I grew anxious, the topic of the journal alone making me nervous. I didn't like talking about it to anyone, especially not with the likes of Harry fucking Styles. Why was he pressing me for more?
"You seemed pretty into it yesterday."
"It's nothing." I repeated sternly.
"Are you sure?" He laughed.
"Harry! I shouted suddenly, the nervous bubbling over and causing me to burst, my hands growing sweaty from the nervous tension surrounding me...or rather, us.
Radio silence from Harry's corner of the room meant I'm sure he was just as surprised as I was at the sudden outburst, looking up to see him just...standing there. Smiling. He liked to rile me up, get me flustered so badly to the point where I yelled at him. What the hell was his game?
I calmed down almost immediately after my suddenly outburst, like I had accidentally lifted the lid off of a hot pot of water, only a little steam managing to escape. "Wait- you watched me long enough to know I was 'pretty into it' yesterday?" I asked, raising my brow.
Change the subject, Quinn. That's it.
He fell silent. Finally. I could see he was stunned, unsure of what to say back to that. He cocked his own brow up to mirror my own and muttered, "Maybe." A mischievous smirk curling on his lips before pushing himself off the doorframe, walking towards my bunk bed.
Harry lifted both of his hands and gripped onto the metal above me, leaning down slightly so he could get a better look at me. Fuck, he's really close to me again. I could feel my shoes lightly pressing against his thighs, my gaze darting between his forest green eyes unable to fully focus on them given the proximity and bad lighting.
Why did he make me so nervous?
I took in my bottom lip and held my breath for a moment, the smell of mint flavoured chewing gum infusing the air around me. That scent following him around, sticking to my clothing and imprinting on my brain reluctantly. I couldn't associate the smell with anything other than him now and I hated that.
He smirked, chewing on the gum he had in his mouth before speaking. "When we get to San Francisco, I have a job for you. Every year one of us has to host a party on the West Coast, stupid traditions and all that." He said with a shrug, "This year, I'm hosting it in San Fran."
A party?
Harry slowly dragged his eyes down my small frame, causing me to shift in my seat slightly from being under his intense gaze. He brought his eyes back up to mine before flickering his focus to the small stitches on my forehead. Slowly, I watched as Harry removed his hands from the metal railing above me and instead wrapped them around my ankles.
What was he doing?
Without any warning, he tugged my body towards his suddenly and smirked at the sound that left my lips. I gasped louder than I probably should have, lifting my hands as reflex and shut my eyes. Harry held my ankle around his waist, my knees bent slightly with his body standing between my spread thighs. Just a slither of space between his crotch and mine. Fuck.
"What?" He asked, his voice laced with sultry undertones that would have driven anyone crazy in this situation.
I peeled my eyes open slightly and saw just how close we were, my legs were lifted slightly and wrapped around his thighs with both of my hands pressed against his broad chest. My eyes flickered up to meet his, the dark intimidating stare that met mine causing my heart to flutter out of nerves. I hadn't been in this position for a while. I certainly didn't expect to have Harry on top of me like this either. But...there was no denying it...I liked it. I wanted this. Fuck.
Harry slowly moved one of his hands from my ankles, his fingertips drawing meaningless shapes on my flesh before dragging his finger up my shin slowly. Watching his fingers slowly glide along my partly exposed skin, be dragged them up my thighs and between my breasts slowly. He gently placed a finger under my chin, tilting my head upwards so we were face to face. I could see the smirk that tugged on his lips and the mischievous look behind his eyes, all showing that he was enjoying this.
"Don't fuck it up." He muttered quietly, the mint flavour filling the air around me. Harry slowly swiped his thumb across my bottom lip, dragging it slightly with the look of pure control laced in his eyes. He tugged my lip down slightly, almost like he wanted to push his thumb between my lips before finally letting it go with a snap that took me by surprise.
My chest raised up and down, my breathing feeling a little more rapid. I could feel my heart racing in my chest, the nerves swirling inside my head and stomach mixed with...arousal. Wait, was I aroused by this? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
My lips parted slightly, wanting to say something but having nothing conclusive come to my brain straight away. I gulped a little and dropped both of my hands from his chest instead, gripping onto the fabric of my bottoms for a moment in a need to touch something. Harry flicked his eyes down from my gaze for only a moment to catch what I was doing with my hands, the smirk on his lips only growing further before I managed to speak. He knew what kind of effect he was having on me. "Text me what you need." I managed.
"Good girl." He said.
Don't be silly, Quinn.
He's your boss. He's an asshole.
True, but why did you like this?
He wants you to get excited by this. Remember he likes the play a stupid game of cat and mouse. Don't be silly, Quinn. I wouldn't be the stupid mouse in his game right now. That isn't the reason I joined this tour and I refused to let Harry sway me away from the real reason I was here. And there was that switch in me that I didn't even know was there until I met him, suddenly transforming me into something I couldn't recognise.
My eyes narrowed slightly at the other and slowly I slid my hand from my bottoms, dragging my finger up the length of his tattooed chest. My finger slowly traced along the two swallows that sat on his chest, allowing my blue eyes to examine the ink etched in his skin. Bringing my finger up along his collarbone and along the sharpness of his jaw, I swiped my tongue over my bottom lip. Slowly, I dragged my finger along the length of his forearm, lifting my gaze to meet his with nothing but a need to touch fuelling me. My smirk mirrored his as I wrapped my small hands around his finger that touched my chin, slowly pulling it away. I kept my gaze on his own, my blue eyes meeting his. Slowly, I ran my tongue over my top lip when I knew he was watching, seeing his eyes waver slightly in want to catch a glimpse of the subtle movement. Gotcha.
Two can play the game, Harry.
Slowly, I trailed my eyes down the length of his torso and back up again in a painfully slow speed, lifting his finger to my lips and gently hovering it over my tiers. I could see he was intrigued, giving me his full attention. Pulling him down slightly so he was even closer to me, I saw the smirk only growing on his lips like he had won something, like being like this was an achievement. "Harry..." I began, tilting my head to the side slightly before letting go of his hand and placing both of my hands flat against his chest, moving closer to him. I sat up slightly, balling my fists in his t-shirt slightly all whilst tugging him that much closer to me. I was so close to him that I could see the different flecks of green in his eye, I could see his chest heaving up and down as hard as mine was. I could almost taste the watermelon chapstick he must have been wearing "...if you ever touch me again like that, I'll make sure to kick you so hard that the Styles family name ends with you, do you understand?" I said with a smirk, suddenly pushing his away from me forcefully.
I stood up from the bunk in front of him and smoothed down my clothes, knowing my cheeks we're probably a flustered shade of blush pink. His eyes widened at the sudden push, his mouth hanging open slightly in shock like he expected more. I could see the emotions running through him all at once, I don't think he had ever been rejected like that before and it showed.
I tucked the hair behind both of my ears and glanced up at Harry, "the bus is leaving soon. Text me what you need for the party." I said simply before grabbing my journal and bag from the bed, hastily shoving it in as quickly as I could before trying to exit the room. I walked out of the bunk bed area and quietly tried to make my way towards the bathroom.
"Quinn." I heard Harry call, causing me to stop in my tracks.
He hardly ever called me that.
I turned around and looked back at the tall male, both of his hands running through his long hair before folding them back over his chest. I could tell he was frustrated and that only made the swirling in my stomach harder to ignore.
"Just so you know...there are two players to this." He said, repeating the words I had said to him yesterday. "And I don't like loosing." He finished, those words only causing me to become even more flustered and nervous than I already was.
I gulped a little, tearing my gaze away from his own and turned back around to continue walking towards the bathroom, quickly fumbling to open the door before going in. Once the door was shut, I pressed my back against it and closed my eyes for a moment to try and collect myself. Get it together.
"What the fuck was that?" I breathed, lifting a hand up suddenly to touch my burning cheeks. "What the fuck...what the fuck..." I mumbled quietly to myself, shaking my head. What was I getting myself into? What was I tangling myself in?
At this point, I wasn't actually worried about him firing me. It seemed like Harry liked this little game of cat and mouse that we were playing, he seemed to enjoy our brief encounters that often left one of us hanging on an edge. Right now I was on an edge. I squeezed my thighs together tightly and bit down on my bottom lip, gulping a little at the thoughts running through my head right now. I can't believe I was like this, feeling this way. I needed to gather myself, this wasn't professional at all. Holy shit.
I moved towards the marble counter and put my bag up on it, resting both of my palms flat on the countertop before looking into the mirror at my appearance. "Oh my fuck..." I muttered quietly under my breath, the reflection of my blushed cheeks and quivering lips a sight for sore eyes.
I needed to pull myself together.
Reaching for the tap, I pulled the metal lever up slowly and turned it toward the red side to allow some warm water to flow out into the sink. I stuck my hand under the running water to check the temperature before cupping my hands together.
I leant down and lifted my palms to my face, splashing the water onto my warm face careful to not wet the stitches on my forehead. I sighed quietly out of relief, running my hand over my face before glancing back up at my mirror. Dragging the back of my hand along my eyes before standing up straight.
I peered at my reflection, shaking my head slightly. I'd been on the tour for all but a week and here I was, having to calm myself down from a close encounter with Harry. This better not become a regular thing, Quinn.
I had been so focused on not messing up the job and moving from one day to the next that I hadn't stopped to realise how much had happened over the last few days. It seemed crazy to think about when I tallied it all up in my head.
I had visited two brand new cities since joining the tour and I was still going to see others which was wild.
I fainted publicly and had a celebrity pick me up and carry me back to their hotel room this ended up with stitches.
I ran around the city of Portland in search for a nonexistent coffee shop orchestrated by Harry Styles.
I've technically had my own private show with Zayn and Harry when they sang to myself and Madison at rehearsal.
And lastly, I've had more close...encounters with Harry than I'd like to admit.
When you cram it together like that, it was insane. I shook my head to try and claw my way back to reality, lifting my hand to rub at my other eye. "Okay.." I breathed, gulping down my nerves and burying them in the depths of myself somewhere. I just needed a little confidence to get me through this. I gasped a little when I felt the bus come to life, the engine roaring loudly and the subs vibrations under my feet indicating we would be on the move soon.
I reached forward for my bag on the countertop and hung it over my shoulders comfortably. My eyes glanced over my appearance quickly, settling on me looking as best I could right now. I walked towards the bathroom door, unlocked it and pushed it open slowly seeing the coast was clear.
Gripping onto the bag on my shoulder, I walked towards the bunk beds again. Poking my head in the room before going in just to make sure that this time I really was alone, letting out a relieved sigh when there was no Harry in sight. I placed my bag down at the foot of my bed and climbed back onto the bed quietly, drawing back the black out curtain that was used for when we were meant to be asleep.
Laying back down on my back, my head hit the pillow and I let another sigh of relief spill from my lips.
"Holy shit." I muttered to myself, lifting my hand up to run it through my loose locks. I hadn't realised it until now, but I was smiling.
I let out a small laugh as the thoughts of being in that type of position with Harry had actually awoken something inside of me. Something I hadn't realised was even buried in there in the first place. Desire.
My hand flew up to my mouth to muffle my giggling, shaking my head slightly. I had shocked myself the past week.
Growing up, Charlotte was usually the one that dealt with the shit and I'd be the one she's rant to afterwards. I've never been in an altercation in my life and have never stood up to someone like that other than my father.
I liked this side of me. This side of me was confident, in command and sexy. Not something I would have ever used to call myself before. The adrenaline that was fuelling my emotions right now coursed through my veins so quickly that I hadn't had time to even process it before I could feel it seeping away.
Biting down on my bottom lip, I dropped my hand to my stomach and looked up at the metal underside of the bunk on top of me. Once the wash of emotions, shock and laughter had drenched me, I lifted my hand again to rub at my eyes. I flickered my gaze at the bunk on top of me again, feeling the energy I just had suddenly becoming sucked away from me.
I was tired. Of course I was, I barely ever sleep. My eyes were growing heavier by the second and I could hear the hun of the tour bus engine fading out.I was going to fall asleep any second.
"Quinn, 2. Harry. 1." I muttered to myself quietly before my eyes finally shut closed.
//
Author note:
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