Her wall was solid. Solid until a teacher was told they were boring.
***
3rd persons POV
Charlotte grasped onto the earphones she had just bought. The plastic rattling due to them still being in the package. Deciding to take the short cut home instead of doubling back, she cut through the town garden.
It was 3:15, meaning the local primary schools had just been let out. Charlotte had an inset day, and she was hoping she could stay in all day. But life, or rather her clumsiness, decided to take a toll on her uneventful day. This resulted in her accidentally cutting her earphones while trying to snip some paper.
She kept her arms in, the cold wind of the UK nipping at her skin. She walked along the path, noticing all the young children laughing. Climbing on the bandstand, playing tag or hide and seek. She could see the mother's. Discussing the most recent episode of whatever show they were watching.
She could see all the children conversing, being loud without realising. Talking about who was going to be it next in tag. She smiled.
However, the thought that in a few years, these children will most likely not be friendly anymore, made her smile fall slightly.
She could see herself in these children. She can recall the times where her and her friends would draw around each other on the pavement with chalk or listing the alphabet while playing hopscotch.
Her smile fell completely when she realised that she didn't talk to anyone she used to do that with anymore.
She noticed how care free they were. They weren't worried about school, they weren't worried about the future. All they were worried about, was which Barbie doll, or which toy car to bring into school for show and tell.
Wanting to get away from her previous happy place, she sped walked to the exit.
The next day was a Friday. And unfortunately for Charlotte, it was a school day. Friday was 'councilling' day for Charlotte. It was the day where she would spend her lessons in the separate rooms. It wasn't because she couldn't do the work, it was because she simply couldn't be around the people in her year group. She had a group of about 5 main friends, all of them being people similar to her, none of them knowing how sad she was.
She was cut off from them when she picked a gcse topic that was in a different column. This meant she swapped bands. Meaning she no longer had any lessons with her friends. She had lunch and break with them, but considering she used to spend every second with them, only seeing them for a hit and hour and a half, was a new shift that she didn't like.
Nobody in her year group, didn't like her. She certainly wasn't friends with everyone and she certainly didn't like everyone. But she would consider herself on the middle step of the social ladder.
On a larger scale, her group is associated with another group. This group is bigger, and meaner. Lunch times would consist of her sat in silence while everyone else talked about whatever. She didn't talk in fear of getting strange looks, so she spent the time looking at the ground and play with her fingers.
She never liked to use the word depressed, because she's never been diagnosed. But the symptoms were there. The teachers decided it was better for her to work separately for a while. Which is why they decided that every Friday, the girl would stay with a teacher all day. Her first 2 lessons would be in the Library, she would have break with her friends, come back, have a councilling session for 3rd lesson, have 4th lesson in reception, have lunch with her friends again, and come back for 5th lesson. Every Friday.
꧁Time skip (Friday)꧂
It was 4th lesson. Charlotte was sat in the Library. Finished with all of her work, she pulled out a book she was in the middle of reading. The teacher trusted her enough to leave her on her own while she got on with whatever she needed to do. So most of the time she was the only person in there.
As she turned to the next page, the teacher came back into the library. But this time she wasn't alone. In her grasp, was the school jumper belonging to a boy in her year. William Lenney to be specific.
Will was one of those pupils who often found himslef in trouble. Whether that be by his doings, or his mates doings. Either way, he seemed to spend most of his days in detention.
Will and her weren't friends, but they didn't dislike each other either. Sure she found him somewhat annoying, especially when he was being lippy, but it wasn't enough for her to complain about him to her friends. The only thing she ever displayed when it came to her feelings for Will, was an eye roll.
"Right Will, stay here, don't move, do your work and don't disrupt any further"
Will sat in a chair that was facing Charlotte on the other side of the room. He looked her over once before looking back at the teacher.
"Sorry Charlotte, I couldn't find anywhere else to put him"
She looked up at the teacher, giving her a soft smile and shaking her head slightly.
"It's okay"
She quietly uttered, looking back down at her book. She continued to read the book, not unhearing the teachers announcement that she'll be back in a short while.
She internally sighed, not wanting to be left alone with him, she didn't think she could handle any awkward silence. The pair had never properly interacted before. The closest thing to a conversation they had shared was Will pushing her into her friends as he walked by.
"What you reading?
She heard. She didn't want to be rude, but talking to Will was the last thing she wanted to do right now.
"Uh, One of us is lying"
She answered, keeping her fingers crossed that this was the full stop to their conversation. Alas.
"Oh, never heard of it, any good?"
She looked up, locking eyes with him. He was sat, leaning with his head on his hand. His signature smirk was on show and his bright green eyes focused solely on her.
"Yea it's good"
She put it simply, answering his question and making it clear that she wasn't interested in a conversation with him. Will could sense this, but decided to push it further.
"Aren't you wondering why I'm in here?"
He questioned, leaning forward. He liked teasing people, and he had never gotten around to Charlotte before. So here was his chance.
"It's not my business"
She smiled, continuing to turn the pages of her book. He smirked, getting to his feet and walking closer to the brunette. She looked up, but immediately averted her eyes.
"Charlotte Tills innit?"
He continued to talk, despite the fact that it was clear she had no attentiveness to maintain a conversation with him. She nodded her head, trying her best to finish the page she was 'very' invested in.
He didn't understand his sudden lust to talk to her. He was aware of her existence. In fact, at one of the many boys sleepovers he had attended, he had made a passing comment about thinking she was as fit. However the comment was swiftly followed by a "but she's too quiet and shit".
"Basically"
He began, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.
"I wasn't really doing anything wrong"
He continued, completely ignorant to the fact that Charlotte was slightly uncomfortable.
"I was just doing my English work, when Mathew said something funny"
He trotted on with his story, slowly catching Charlottes interest. She wasn't so much interested in his story, more so on his insistence to talk to her.
"I laughed, which then rattled the teacher. She shouted at me, said that I was now disturbing the class. I said "Miss, it's not my fault this class is boring as fuck". Which has lead me here. I mean, can you believe it?"
She shook her head, nursing a small smile.
"Unbelievable"
She responded, turning the page of her book. Will looked at her, chuckling softly at her remark. She carried on 'reading' her book, anticipating his next words. Instead, her book was lowered onto the table, causing her to lock her eyes with him. He smiled.
"I'm more interesting than a daft book"
He announced, tossing the book over his shoulder, causing Charlotte to sigh at the thought of now loosing her page. But something soon took her attention away from it.
"Why are you here? You don't seem like the type of person to yell fuck at a teacher, or get caught drawing dicks on windowsills"
She giggled, remembering the look on Mr Price's face when he spotted Will in the middle of drawing the member underneath the boys toilet windows.
She didn't see a reason to tell Will the truth. What would that do? It would only be another reason for her to hide away.
"Maybe I did"
She shrugged, causing Will to raise his eyebrows.
"What, draw dicks on walls?"
He grinned, leaning back on his elbows.
"I might've, you don't know me"
She commented. Will thought about it. The two had been in the same year for 4 and a half years.
"I guess not"
He responded.
They've endured many classes together. English class was full of him either being caught on his phone or writing on the desk. Maths was full of him chatting back to the teacher and being sent out into the corridor and PE was full of him kicking the football at whoever had pissed him off that day.
And yet, not one single word had been spoken between the two. And up until this point, the two were fine with that. But now words were shared, as well as laughs.
"I work better here. Not so many people"
She admitted, fiddling with her fingers, staring at a small in-dents on the table.
"Do you not like public spaces or something?"
He questioned, surprised at her utter honesty. Why she was telling him, practically a stranger, he didn't know. But she certainly had all of his attention now.
"It's not so much public spaces, everything just gets really loud in my head"
She tried her best to explain. She hadn't anticipated waking up this morning, and then later on in the afternoon, tell William Lenney about her struggles. But that is how things have turned out.
Will nodded, gesturing for her carry on.
"And then all of a sudden it's the end of the lesson and I've just spent the whole time trying not to cry"
When she began talking about her problems with the school councillor, she didn't realise that she was going to be the type of person that cried when discussing her issues.
But it was evident in her explanation to Will, how the whole ordeal made her feel. Struggling to string a full sentence. Muttering and whimpering a few times.
Will found it oddly distressing to watch. To him, she seemed so well put together.
In class, she would have all her work done and dusted by the end of the hour, and had never been given a detention.
But was it all an act?
A wall built up to hide every inner feeling of sadness and stress.
"That's why I stay here every Friday. It's a day where I'm away from as many people as possible"
The words spilled from her mouth as if it was a leaky tap. She was expecting the first person in her year group to find out about her struggle, to be her best friend Dani. She's usually the first one to find out about everything.
"Sorry to hear that"
"About 2 weeks ago, Mum caught me doing something stupid with a pair of scissors so she forced me to start taking counselling"
All Will could do was sit and listen, not that he had any words anyway.
"I didn't realise how hard that conversation was going to be until it happened. It turns out that it was the hardest conversation I have ever had"
But now all of her problems were being taken in by him. He threw her a sympathetic smile, reaching out to grab her hands.
She couldn't believe she had just revealed a part of her to someone she hadn't spoken one word to up until this point. Will didn't seem to be the type of person you could just confide in.
The bell rang through the room, it now being lunch time. The realisation that he now knew personal information about her, hit her like a ten tone truck.
What was Will going to do with this new info. He was going to tell everyone that she's some sort of depressed freak. She's going to be publicly humiliated in front of the entire year group.
In her mind anyway.
She immediately let go of his hands, picked up her bag and made a sprint for the door, trying her best to ignore Will as he called out her name.
She hugged her body and kept her head down. She looked over her shoulder, spotting Will exit the Library, making his way over to her. She walked faster, hoping to loose him.
Looking back, she noticed that he had been stopped by his friends. But his eyes kept panning over to her.
Will just wanted to let her know that he respected her and understood why she kept it to herself. But he also understood why she was running away. Strangers were what they were. To each other, they were strangers.
Charlotte picked up her feet, arriving at the canteen faster than usual.
"Jesus Char, running away from someone?"
She wore a small smile as she took her seat, taking out her lunch and tried her hardest to forget what had just happened.
It wasn't as if she had revealed everything. Every inner demon that plagued her mind daily. Compared to every thing in her mind, she actually revealed quite a small percentage of it. But it was still enough to hike up any feelings of venerability.
The fact that she can't work in public places, the fact that she almost cries in class, even the fact that she had self harmed. Even though it wasn't a lot, it was enough for her to become insecure. Even more than she had originally been.
"You alright Char? You seem distracted"
Dani queried, reaching over to throw something into the bin.
Charlotte questioned whether or not to tell her the truth. Because if she did, she would have to explain how she was feeling at the same time. And that was the last thing she wanted to do.
"Do I? Sorry"
Dani smiled, shaking her head and carrying on with the conversation she was sharing with the girl opposite.
Charlotte internally sighed, thanking what ever god that could be listening that she had dropped it.
She could hear shouting and laughing coming from the canteen entrance, a large group of heckling boys coming through the door. A collective groan of annoyance erupted from her table, already aggravated by the volume of which the boys were shouting.
"Honestly, a slap across the face from me would set them straight"
Dani spoke through gritted teeth, earning a laugh from the rest of the girls. Charlotte looked closer, she could see Will staring at the ground. Usually, Will would be at the forefront of this rowdy crowd. But today, he was quiet.
"Look, Will's a little silent"
Maria pointed out, seeing the boy with his head down, walking with his hands in his pockets.
"He was sent out of English"
Jasmine mentioned. Charlottes palms immediately began sweating. The boys sat around the table, laughing, deafeningly. Not Will though.
"Maybe he got a proper telling off?"
Lizzy theorised. The girls all looked once more at the group of boys, more specifically at Will.
He looked up, locking eyes with Charlotte, causing the two to look away and blush.
꧁꧂
"Will mate!"
Mathew roared from across the hallway. The boys were making their way over to the Library, being told that their friend was there.
They took no notice as Charlotte sped walked passed them, walking away from the Library. Mathew ran up to Will, jumping on his back and ruffling his hair. Will smiled fakily while he tried to scope out Charlotte.
"How come I was sent to the Library when you were the one making noises?"
Will scoffed, pushing the boy off his back. Mathew grinned, straightening out his jackets.
"I'm shagging Miss Smith"
He winked, causing Will to roll his eyes and begin the walk to the canteen. The rest of the boys laughed behind him, continuing to be the bane of many peoples in this schools lives.
The corridors were filled with the voices of his group, pushing each other into pupils walking by and kicking any litter left on the ground.
Will remained in his head however, walking along but miles away.
"You alright Will mate?"
Danny questioned, holding onto his shoulder. Danny was one of the more mellow ones, offering up advice whenever it was necessary. Not wanting to reveal what Charlotte had said, he nodded his head and smiled.
Sitting down for food, he panned his eyes towards Charlotte, seeing her already looking at him. A feeling shot though his chest, one he was unfamiliar with.
A teacher walked through the canteen doors, making his way over to the group of boys, placing his hands on the table.
"Right, Mathew you're in the learning coach for last lesson, Finley you're in the spare ICT room, and Will you're back in the Library. I'm not having you three disrupt anymore lessons today"
The whole half of their canteen heard, and Charlotte instantly became extra anxious.
Another hour with Will was now on the cards for her today.
Great.
***
Thanks for reading lads.
Originally, this was going to be a 1 part, but halfway through I realised that was only going to be possible by having it be like, 50 pages.
This has been in my drafts for sooooooooo bloody long, but I never got to posting it.
I wanted to finish both parts before uploading the whole thing, but I'm really struggling with writing part two so if anyone has suggestions, that would be great.
Also, happy new year everyone 🎉🎉
Hope you enjoyed, upvote because mental health is very very important.
That's all for now.
Bye-bye.
🤙💛Xx