I jumped out from my bed, racing towards the bathroom. I dropped myself in front of the toilet practically spewing out everything I ate the day before.
Okay so that wasn't a fever dream....I was really-
Oh shit.
"You okay Cass?" Ian yawned, handing me a towel. I just nodded my head, grabbing the bottle of mouth wash. I mean if I was lucky, I could keep it a secret for the next nine months. Or how ever far along I was....
Shit I didn't even know.
I stumbled down the stairs, and just to my luck all my family members were in the kitchen. God I mean it was now or never right?
"I'm pregnant" I called before I could even process the words. My siblings all stared at me in shock as I stood awkwardly on the stairs. "A hundred percent prego...with a tiny fetus"
"You better be fucking lying" Fiona snapped as I poured myself a cup of coffee. I mean what kind of reaction was I really expecting from her? "You're lying right?"
I slowly sipped my drink, giving her that "what do you think" stare. Shit was coffee bad for babies? Who fucking cares it was half Gallagher half Milkovich so-
I was pregnant with Mickey's baby. Oh shit....
"This is amazing!" Debbie yelled as she quickly pulled me into a hug. "Oh my god, i'm gonna be an auntie!"
"How far along are you?" Ian smiled, taking our younger sisters place. I mean I honestly had no idea but I was gonna assume about three months.
Since that was the last time Mick and I....y'know
"You're getting a fucking abortion!" I turned towards Fiona who was looking at me angrily. "We can't afford another kid"
"Yeah no...." I laughed. "I'm not making a decision until I talk to Mickey"
"Right Mickey....you think he's gonna raise another fucking kid? He doesn't even take care of the one he has now!"
Wow....way to be a fucking dick.
"No wonder nobody fucking likes you" I threw on my jacket, stealing a piece of bread from the toaster. "Come on Deb's i'm walking you to school"
"I can't believe you're gonna have a baby!" My sister cheered as we turned down the alley.
"I'm pregnant Debs, but I never said I was keeping it" She stopped dead in her tracks, giving me her famous "wtf look" "I mean Fiona's right....we can't afford another kid and Mickey....fuck our relationships already complicated as it is. And with me being bipolar" I trailed off not really knowing how to continue. "I just- i can't put this fetus through that"
Fetus....to be honest I don't even think I had come to terms with it myself.
I mean I never really wanted kids, especially after seeing how my siblings and I turned out. And with this disorder, I know there's only a small percent I could pass it on. But still....I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Especially not on....y'know what I mean.
"Come on Cassie....I know you'll be a great mother" She tried to give me a warm smile but I just cringed at that word.
How could I possibly be something I didn't even know the meaning of?
"Maybe so, but what am I supposed to do about Mickey?" I let out a sigh as we continued our walk. "I mean he's in jail for a few more months and it took him how many years to call himself my boyfriend? If he doesn't want another one.....I can't do it by myself"
"You won't be by yourself" She yelled, grabbing me by the arm. "You'll have me...and Ian, Lip, Carl if he ever gets out of this phase, Fiona will come around too and you know Frank's gonna be excited about being a grandpa"
A small smile formed on my face as I thought over what she just said. I mean she wasn't wrong....I would have my family.
But Mick was my family too, and I didn't want this thing to grow up without a dad.
Fuck I needed to talk to him......
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I tapped my foot anxiously as I waited for the prisoners to be released. I tried to think of what to say on the train ride over here, but I just came up empty. I mean it wasn't like I could start a sentence with, "Hey i'm pregnant and the baby is yours, congratulations!"
"You look troubled" A voice laughed as Mickey sat down on the other side of the glass.
Shit, I was too busy thinking I hadn't even realized the buzzer sounded. Was it too late to run?
"Just have a lot on my mind" I lied nervously. "How have you been?"
Right cause that was good question to start with. He was locked up in an adult prison, I'm sure he was doing just swell....
"My probation office says I might be able to get out in a few more months....only do half the time" That was good news right? I mean he'd only do 6 months instead of 12....we could do this thing together.
Together, okay fuck....here goes nothing.
"I need you to promise you won't get mad at what i'm about tell you" His confused started turned to anger, his jaw clenching tight.
"I'm locked up three months and what you slept with another guy?"
"Fuck no, you think I cheated on you?"
"You couldn't even wait a year?"
"No, that's not what-"
"I mean I get it but-"
"I'm pregnant"
The words came out like a hot knife cutting through butter. We both fell silent and I tried to read his facial expressions but got no where. I mean it was only so fucking difficult to understand what he was thinking.
"About 12 weeks....I'm assuming"
"Well there's no fucking way it's mine" His voice came out cold, bitter.
Shit, he really fucking thought I cheated on him? After everything the two of us had gone through?
"Well it is" I laughed nervously. "You're the only one-"
"Bullshit! Who the fuck did you have sex with?"
"No one!" I hadn't realized how loud I got until I was getting looks from the other visitors. "You damn well know I didn't sleep with anyone else" The two of us grew quiet as I tried to pick up another sentence. "You don't have to want this-"
"You're right, I don't" I felt my heart sink at his words. I mean I knew there was a 50/50 chance here but I was kinda hoping he'd be happy...."You'd be better off aborting it"
He wasn't a serious was he? Of course I was still skeptical of this whole thing but....he was being a bigger dick then Fiona.
"You know what Mick....fuck you" I snapped, rolling my eyes. "Because this is happening, whether you're apart of it's life or not"
I slammed the phone down, walking away before he could say anything else. I mean I didn't fucking need him, I had my family....they were all I needed.
They were all we needed....me and this baby.
My baby.....
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I stormed back into the house, throwing my bag down angrily. That conversation with Mickey was all I needed for my answer.
I was gonna have this baby. And I was going to be one dam good mom.
"Debs just told me!" Frank smiled, pulling me into a hug. "I can't believe i'm gonna be a grandpa" I shimmed out of his grip, catching my younger sister's gaze.
"Yeah Frank....you are"
A loud screech emitted from her mouth as she pulled me into another tight ass hug. God who needed an abortion, I could just have Debbie hug me if I ever changed my mind.
"So i'm taking Mickey was happy?" My eyes fell because in all honest, that was the opposite of what happened. "Well fuck him! He's going to miss out on the best little baby in the world"
"Or the best little gangbanger"
I sent a glare towards Carl, snatching the drumstick out of his hand. Yeah there was no way I was letting this child near him if he was still in this phase.
Even if it meant I had to hose it out of him...
"Hey! What's with the note on our door?" I turned to find Ian storming through the door, holding a bright orange flyer.
I grabbed it from his hands, and in big letters there it was....
"Eviction"