Dara's POV
Something came up. I'm at Riko's house.
That was the text I received from Jiro yesterday. I tossed my phone on my bed and looked at the mirror, noticing the dark circles in my eyes. I waited for him last night but he did not drop by, which drove me to think about a lot of things – things that made me uneasy.
I understand where Riko is coming from but does it mean that I have to endure the jealousy and insecurity gnawing me every time she requires Jiro's attention? I'm trying to be rational about the entire thing. I tried to put myself on Jiro's shoes and think of how I'll handle it if I were him. Sadly, the situation is now messed up that I just ended up wallowing because of the status of my relationship with Jiro. I know he likes me even though he never said it. And knowing Jiro, he's not the type to say those words. Still, it would be nice to hear it from him. It might put my mind at ease especially with Riko always hanging around him.
Pushing the thoughts aside, I grabbed my bag and headed towards the nearest subway station going towards the Lee residence. I haven't seen Bullet for days and I'm beginning to get worried. It would have been better if Namee is with me but since it's Saturday, I knew she'll be busy with her part-time job. Besides, Bullet's house address is not that hard to find.
The subway ride to Bullet's house took a while since it was a couple of stations away. I exited the station and gingerly walked along the pavement as my mind wandered to that time when I found him slumped near the back gate. I knew I hurt him, but I think I did the right thing. I just hope Bullet will be able to pull through. I miss what we have. I miss hanging out with him and goofing around with him.
Liking someone can really complicate things. Friendships can be ruined, a nice person can turn into someone she's not, awful words are exchanged because of a bitter heart. I wonder how liking Jiro changed me. I wonder if I can look back at my former self and be proud of what I was...of what I've done. Truthfully, because of my feelings for Jiro, I'm beginning to get wary of Riko, which makes me think if I'm becoming narrow-minded or if my insecurities are gripping me. I hope I will not be driven by my emotions and do things that I will later regret.
Sighing heavily, I stopped upon seeing the house number of Bullet's place. When I lifted my gaze, my eyes widened in awe at the mansion with a beautiful garden at the front yard. It feels like a royal family is residing here and my humble presence is not worthy of their time.
I decided to abandon my plan and was about to walk away when the woman who slapped Bullet opened the main door and stepped outside. She saw me standing by the gate and she strode towards me while I stood idly, not knowing what to do with myself.
"Can I help you?" She asked.
"Hello ma'am. I'm Arden's friend. Uh... I just dropped by to chat with him."
"Oh!" She hurriedly opened the gate and smiled at me. "Come in. He's at the study room", she said and ushered me to the house.
I roamed my eyes as we walked towards the study room, my mouth slightly parted in shock. The house is huge, with multiple rooms and expensive decors ornamenting the place – the glittering chandelier in the high ceiling, the antique vases, the paintings hanging on the wall. Wow. I've never seen anything like it. I felt like I traveled back to the medieval era. When we finally reached the study room, I half-expected the sound of trumpets followed by the announcement of our presence.
"Arden, your friend is here", Mrs. Lee said after opening the door, revealing the floor-to-ceiling shelves lining the walls. Bullet was at the couch in the middle of the room with a stack of books on the floor.
"Dara?" Bullet frowned in surprise as he stood up and approached us.
"Hi."
"I'll just get something to drink for you two", Mrs. Lee said as she sauntered away.
"Hey", Bullet scratched the back of his head and gave me a lopsided smile.
"Oh, my God. You didn't tell me you live in Hogwarts", I whispered in disbelief.
"Hogwarts? Don't be ridiculous", he chuckled and pulled me inside as I darted my eyes to the line of books on the shelf. "And why are you whispering?"
"Because it feels magical", I mumbled.
"Silly", he slumped on the floor while I sat on the couch, still marveling the beauty of the place and the abundance of books that I was seeing. My eyes were probably sparkling. Never had I known anyone owning this much books.
"You're drooling", Bullet joked.
"I am?"
"You can borrow anything you like, munchkin", he said as he grabbed a book from the stack on the floor and flipped through the pages. I sat beside him on the floor and stared at him, not knowing where to start. He was acting like there was nothing wrong, and I wasn't sure if it was wise to poke on the topic or if just letting it slide would do.
"Your stepmom seems nice", I started.
"As long as she doesn't meddle with my business, she's alright", he stated lazily.
"Do you still feel that you're not part of the family, Bullet? Does she make you feel that way?"
He glanced at me momentarily before shifting his gaze again. "I'm my mother's son. I'll always be an outsider in this house."
"Maybe you're the only one thinking that way. Why don't you try opening up yourself to them? You know, you're really sweet, Bullet. And you're the Lee family's only son. I think Mrs. Lee will be happy if she'll experience how you really are when you're with me and Namee."
"Why are you here, Dara? If you're going to make me cry, I'm going to tell Namee", he asked.
"I was worried that's why I came here to check if you're okay."
"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" He exclaimed and chuckled, his eyes still glued on the book that he's fiddling. I knew he was pretending to be fine so that things wouldn't be awkward between us. I'm grateful for that, but it squeezed my heart to see him exerting effort to hide his pain.
I rested my chin on my bent knees and hugged my legs, silence stretching between us. "Is there anything I can do?" I mumbled. "Do you need more time? Should I not meet you?"
He sighed and threw the book that he was holding before meeting my gaze. "Don't worry about me. I'm just sorting out my thoughts that's why I've been missing lately."
"I'm sorry", I said in a small voice, guilt eating me up inside.
"You have nothing to apologize for."
"I hurt you."
"Yeah, well... I heard big boys should go through tough shit", he grinned at me and ruffled my hair. "We're cool, Dara. I'll still pester you because you're my munchkin and you'll be pissed at me. And Namee will be there to prevent you from killing me. That's how we roll."
"Are you fine with that?" I asked.
There was a brief pause as he stared at me, pain and weariness evident in his eyes. "I can live with that", he mumbled.
I nodded and gave him a small smile. I knew at this point, I couldn't do anything for him. He was trying to pull through and it was a struggle that he had to face himself. As the Fire 39 leader, it is a known fact that Bullet is a strong and tough guy. But this is a fight unlike his other fights. I know he'll win though, because he carries a strength that I admire. Despite his immature front, Bullet is strong enough to bare his heart.
Liking someone can complicate things. I'm glad Bullet is trying to make things simple for both of us.
***
After dropping by Bullet's house, Dara roamed aimlessly and eventually sat on a bench in the park and watched the people passing by. The sun was about to set, the orange sky and the steady movement around her easing her tired mind.
Moments later, a cute little boy approached her, sucking a lollipop. He stood in front of her and eyed her curiously, his round eyes blinking innocently as he pulled the lollipop from his mouth.
"Hi", Dara greeted and smiled at the boy.
"Do you want to be my mom?"
"What?" She asked, completely dumbfounded. When she heard someone shouting from a distance, she whipped her head and was surprised to see Bonsai running towards her. His eyes, however, were settled on the boy in front of her.
"You brat! I told you not to roam around!" Bonsai snarled at the boy before looking at her. "Ey, Dara!" He greeted in surprise.
"Hello", she said.
"Can she be our mom?" The boy asked while pointing at her using his lollipop.
"Hell no!" Bonsai screeched. "Sorry Dara. This kid is really weird."
"I didn't know you have a love child", Dara chuckled while ruffling the kid's hair.
Bonsai rolled his eyes and slumped on the bench beside Dara. "He's my brother. I was asked to babysit him", he said, lifting the child up and handing the kid to Dara.
"Why are you giving him to me?"
"I'm tired of babysitting him."
"So?"
"I don't know. Throw him away."
Dara chuckled and let the boy sit on her lap. "What's your name?" She asked.
"Battou", the kid replied.
"Battou?" Dara frowned and looked at Bonsai. "Battou..Tsai? Doesn't it sound like...Battousai?"
"Yep", Bonsai grunted in response. "The manslayer."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah", he leaned back and draped his arm on the bench. "My dad thinks playing with his kids' names is hilarious."
"My name is cool", Battou argued. "Yours is funny."
Bonsai glared at the kid who was sitting comfortably on Dara's lap.
"Why is he looking for a mother?"
"He didn't get to see our mom because she passed away when he was still a baby."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"Nah. This punk just wants a pretty lady in the house because we're all boys – my dad and the four of us brothers. Anyway", he turned to Dara and cocked his eyebrows at her. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in the Ice Lord paradise?"
"I don't know where he is", Dara said, averting her gaze. "He received a text yesterday and left. It turns out he headed to Riko's house. Maybe he's still there."
"Oh crap... I'm sorry woman, but this topic is out of my expertise. Let me text Picaro", Bonsai said as he pulled out his phone and started typing a message before Dara can say another word. "You see, anything that involves serious talk, Rostelli is the man for the job", he added.
"It's okay, Bonsai. Sorry for making you uncomfortable", Dara said while stroking Battou's hair. Bonsai shifted his gaze at her, noticing her somber expression.
"Battou, make her smile", Bonsai instructed. His youngest brother always has a way of lightening up things in their messed up house and he believed the kid could handle a sad woman more than he could.
Battou pulled out something from his pocket and offered it to the girl. "Lollipop?"
Dara smiled at him and took the candy, removing the wrapper and placing it in her mouth. See? Problem solved.
"Why are you sad?" Battou asked innocently. "Bonsai did something, didn't he?"
"Hey!" Bonsai cried out in protest, but the kid just looked at him with disinterest.
"This is why we need a mom. Dad is getting tired because of you."
"You're a psycho", Bonsai retorted. "Go play somewhere", he instructed as he lifted him up and set him down on the ground. "But don't go far. Play where I can see you."
Battou complied and ran towards a group of kids playing with their kites, leaving the two behind.
"Jiro is not the type to talk. You know that, right?" Bonsai said after a while.
"Yeah. He doesn't tell me anything, which is why I'm left guessing as to what he must be thinking."
"Yeah...Well..." Bonsai glanced at his phone again, probably waiting for Picaro. Dara could tell he wasn't comfortable with their topic, so she opted to change it.
"Do you know Stone?"
"The leader of The Claws? What about him?"
"He seemed to be angry at Jiro", she said. "I knew Jiro defeated him during a clash between the Black Dragons and The Claws, but is he still hung up on that?"
"That sucker's a loser", Bonsai replied. "He felt like he has to one-up Jiro because our leader defeated him in an underground fight."
"Stone joins underground fights too?"
"Nah. Just that one time to fight Jiro."
"Is this before or after your clash?"
"Before. I think Stone secretly envies Jiro for his strength in fighting. He learned that Ice Leader joins underground fights for a quick cash so he fixed himself up as his opponent, but Jiro pounded his ass to dust. His ego had been shattered. So he and his gang start trouble for us whenever they can, because they're a bunch of lunatics."
Bonsai's phone beeped and after reading it, he turned to Dara. "Picaro's coming. You can do your girl talk with him about your problem with that chick, Takizawa."
"I told you, I'm fine. You don't have to do that."
Bonsai waved his hand dismissively and focused his gaze forward. "I need to do what I can or else, you and Jiro will fight again and drive us crazy."
"Hey, we don't always fight."
"Seriously, you girls tend to think all weird shit. I can't wrap my brain on how you can come up with a thousand different scenarios in a matter of seconds."
"That's not true!"
"It is so true. For example, you saw Jiro walking with Takizawa. Your brain will probably be like 'Why is he talking to her? Does he like her? Am I not good enough for Jiro? Is he still sleeping with her?' Don't even deny it. Seriously, woman. Stop giving yourself a heart attack. It's not as bad as it lo-..." Bonsai paused upon seeing Dara's grim expression. "Hey, I'm just stating what I think. I'm sorry if-..."
"What do you mean 'Is he still sleeping with her?' So, he slept with her?"
"That's just-.. It's a hypothetical scenario!" Bonsai reasoned out in panic. Damn it! Where is Picaro when he needed him?!
"You know something, don't you?"
"NO! I don't know anything! I'm an idiot, how can I know anything?!"
Dara sighed, her shoulders slumping in weariness. "I'm not mad at you. It's just that-... It really does cross my mind. You're right. Seeing him with Riko makes me uneasy."
Shit! Shit! SHIT! PICAROOOOO!!!
Bonsai swallowed hard, unable to say anything. He should NOT have opened his mouth. What if she goes on an emotional meltdown? WHAT IF SHE CRIES?! Oh dear God, he doesn't know how to handle a crying woman!
When Dara covered her mouth and sneezed, Bonsai almost had a heart attack. He was staring at Dara with wide eyes, afraid that any slight movement would trigger the water works.
"I think I need a drink", Dara said after a while, startling him.
"What do you want to drink? I'll buy", he offered.
"No. I need to be alone and drink", she said.
Oh crap. "You mean...drink beer?"
"Yeah. Or something hard."
OH CRAP!
"I'll see you around, Bonsai", she said and stood up. When Dara started walking away, he saw Picaro walking slowly towards him. He was too late, though, since Dara already turned to the corner.
"Oh shit, man. Follow Dara!" Bonsai said in panic.
"What?" Picaro asked in confusion.
"FOLLOW HER!"
***
It was a stupid plan. The moment she set foot inside the club, she felt like all eyes were on her. That was because ALL eyes were on her. With her cute pink dress that fell below her knees and her flower-printed handbag, she couldn't have been more out of place. The ladies in the bar were all wearing skimpy dresses that left nothing to the imagination...and there she was in her pink splendor. But Dara was feeling rebellious and she wanted to try something new so with her chin up, she marched towards a vacant table and ordered the first cocktail on the drink list that the waiter handed her.
It wasn't long before a stranger joined her on the table and started hitting on her. The guy sat beside her, startling the girl.
"Are you with someone?" He asked.
"N-..Yes", Dara replied as she scooted away from the guy. She grabbed her drink and took a sip while thinking of ways how to make him leave.
"Hmm. I saw you enter alone, though."
"I'm waiting for someone", she lied as she darted her eyes around. She was sitting on the side by the wall while the guy took the spot beside her, so she was cornered. "Excuse me, I need to pass through", she said, but he didn't budge.
"Come on, I know you're alone. I just want us to be friends", he smirked at her. Dara was about to say something when the door of the club opened, revealing Jiro. He scanned the club and when he saw her, the creases on his forehead deepened. Jiro strode towards her direction, his expression becoming grim at the sight of the guy hitting on her.
"I'm sorry, but the one I'm waiting for is here", she said. The guy followed Dara's gaze and saw Jiro glaring sharply at him.
"Move", Jiro said, a silent danger lacing his voice. He didn't need to repeat himself as the guy instantly scampered away. He took the guy's spot and turned towards Dara. "You", he snarled at her, exhaling audibly before continuing, "What the hell are you doing?"
"How did you find me?" She asked in bewilderment. Jiro pointed at Picaro and Bonsai who were occupying a nearby table together with the other Black Dragons. After Picaro followed Dara, he informed Jiro of her whereabouts and contacted Bonsai to join them.
Jiro then pulled out something from his pocket and handed her her cellphone. She reached for it but when she tried to pull it, Jiro did not let go and glared at her, his eyebrows deeply furrowed. "What the hell are you doing here, Ramirez? And why didn't you bring your phone? I've been trying to contact you. I went to your house and searched for you. Even your friend, Cheng, doesn't know where you are", he said in between gritted teeth, his voice thunderous despite the loud music inside the club.
Dara pulled the phone from his hand and shoved it inside her bag, focusing her gaze elsewhere afterwards. "I wanted to drink", she said simply, not offering further explanation.
Jiro's jaws clenched in suppressed annoyance and beckoned one of his gang mates who was holding a bottle of alcohol. He grabbed the bottle and the shot glass from him and slammed it on the table in front of Dara. "Go ahead. Drink", he said in dangerous tone, but the girl was not deterred.
The nerve of this guy! He was the one who went to his ex-girlfriend's house and didn't drop by her house, driving her nuts. She was trying her best to understand why he was accommodating Riko, but her patience was not boundless.
One shot.
And he showed up without even offering an explanation why he went to his ex-girlfriend's place!
Two shots.
He's not even telling her that he likes her!
Three shots.
Jiro's eyes squinted in tiny slits while watching the girl swallowing the bitter alcohol.
"Don't try to-... Don't try to...stop me", Dara warned him, her words barely getting out of her mouth.
"I won't", he grunted in response and crossed his arms over his chest. Dara huffed in annoyance and drank another shot, wincing a bit when the alcohol burned her throat, making her cough.
She abruptly stood up and her vision swam due to tipsiness. Dara shut her eyes and massaged her temple, a slight groan escaping her lips. She felt Jiro's hand gripping her arm to steady her footing and when she opened her eyes, she was met by Jiro's irritated glare.
"Sit down", he said, blocking her path.
"Restroom", she said hoarsely.
Jiro wrapped one arm on her waist and guided her to the restroom, his firm grip preventing her from throwing any words of protests. Upon reaching the ladies room, Dara stepped inside while Jiro waited for her at the narrow entrance leading to the restrooms.
She splashed some water on her face and looked at her reflection on the mirror. What was she doing? She wanted to talk to Jiro, and getting drunk would not accomplish anything. He needed to hear her side about Riko and they needed to decide what action to take.
When Dara finally stepped out, she saw Jiro leaning against the wall with his arms across his chest while a bunch of girls in a near distance were throwing glances at him. One of the girls approached him and tried to talk to him despite Jiro's cold responses. Dara frowned when she saw that the girl shoved a paper in his front pocket and slid her hand on his arm.
She marched towards Jiro and when he saw her, he immediately snaked his arm around her body which drove the girl away, but not before giving Dara a one-over from head to toe. Fuming mad, Dara wiggled free from Jiro's arm and stomped her feet towards their table, plopping herself on the seat. Jiro sat beside her and draped his arm over her shoulder, unaffected by the girl's piercing glare.
"What did I do now?" He asked.
Without uttering a word, Dara pulled out the paper from his front pocket, hissing in annoyance after finding out that there were a lot of papers tucked inside with girl's numbers scribbled on them. She then raided his backpockets and did the same, throwing the pieces of paper on the floor. She then grabbed the bottle of alcohol, poured a shot and downed it. Still angry, she was about to drink directly from the bottle, but Jiro snatched it from her grasp.
"What the hell is your problem?"
"You!" Dara snarled at him. "You didn't show up last night, you texted me that you were at your ex-girlfriend's house and now, girls within the vicinity are swooning over you!" She hissed. "Why are the girls all over you? I hate you!" She whined and kicked her feet.
Jiro stared at her, completely flabbergasted with her outburst. Then, the corner of his lips tugged in a tiny smirk, fueling Dara's fury.
"You think this is funny?" Dara scowled at him.
Jiro bit his lips and eyed her tenderly. "God, Dara. You're so cute."
"I'm not cute! I'm angry! This is my angry voice!" She huffed in her high-pitched voice and whipped her head away from him. She felt his arm tightening around her, pulling her closer to him as he hugged her from behind. Hmph!
"Cute", he mumbled and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.
"I hate you", Dara whimpered and crossed her arms over her chest, slightly pouting in annoyance.
"Tell me if you want to go home", he whispered on her ear, tickling her skin.
"I want to drink", she said and tried to grab the bottle, but Jiro was quick to move it away from her reach.
"You've had enough."
"No. I need to drink, then we'll talk", she insisted.
"About what?"
"About us."
Jiro stiffened, an unreadable expression crossing his face that Dara failed to notice as she snatched the bottle from his hand.
***
"Jiro, I don't feel good", she whined. After drinking, Dara threw up everything and her throat was now aching after emptying her stomach.
"That's because you threw up", Jiro replied flatly as he gently placed her on her bed. He was about to straighten up but Dara's arms wrapped around his neck tightened, not letting go of him.
"Don't leave. We have to talk", she mumbled. Jiro peeled her arms off him despite her protests and stared at her flushed cheeks, shaking his head while sighing. He headed towards the bathroom and prepared warm water in the tub.
"Jiro..." He heard her calling him out as she shifted on the bed. He strode towards the girl and began stripping her off her clothes, leaving only her undergarments.
"No... What are you doing?"
He did not respond and rid himself of his clothes instead, leaving only his boxer shorts. He then scooped her up and headed towards the bathroom, stepping in the tub while carrying Dara. She let out a soft whimper when they were fully submerged in the water, with her sitting between Jiro's parted thighs.
He gathered her on his arms and pressed her towards him. "Rest your head", he instructed as Dara leaned against him, her back facing him. She did as she was told and rested her head on his shoulder, shutting her eyes in satisfaction.
"Better?" He asked as his hands slid on her arms.
"Mmmhmm", Dara sighed in contentment. Silence stretched between them as Jiro gently stroked her skin, the sound of water splashing filling the tiny space.
"What am I to you Jiro?" Dara asked in a whisper.
"The girl I want to share the tub with."
"That's pretty big."
"Yeah", he murmured as his arms entwined around her tiny frame.
"What did you and Riko share?" She asked, chewing on her lips as she waited for his reply.
"Don't go there, Ramirez", Jiro whispered, pressing their bodies together, as if consoling her.
"Have you slept with her?"
"Dara..."
"I can't help it", Dara said while heaving a deep breath, her eyebrows furrowing as she focused her gaze forward. "She still has feelings for you and she wants you back. I don't want to tell you to avoid her because that's just low. I know she's a significant part of your life, not to mention she helped you and my father. But with her around, I feel insecure. Even if I don't want to, I'm beginning to wonder about the past that you've shared with her. Troubling thoughts enter my mind whenever you're with her. And when I see Riko, I can't help comparing myself with her. You and Riko had a relationship. That reason is enough for me to feel this way. So what am I supposed to do, Jiro?"
"You just have to remember that I'm never going to leave you. I'll always protect you", Jiro mumbled in an almost inaudible voice.
"I know you'll stay beside me. I know you promised my father that you'll protect me. But that's not what I'm asking, Jiro. Are we even going anywhere with this? Am I supposed to bear Riko always seeking for your attention?"
"Ramirez..." His voice was almost pleading, but Dara couldn't bring herself to understand the situation anymore. "I can't abandon Riko right now. She tried to-..." Jiro paused and exhaled audibly, "She tried to kill herself last night...because of me. I got an odd text from her and when I went to her place, their house maid already called for an ambulance. She's currently in the hospital because of drug overdose."
Shit. Dara shut her eyes firmly, not knowing what to think or what to make of what Jiro revealed. They've been going on circles with either Riko or Bullet as the reason for their fight. They would make up and they would fight again, but the issue still hung between them. It's emotionally draining to have to deal with a problem that doesn't go away. And now, with what Riko did, she knew a long and thorny road awaits them. Dara knew what Riko's goal was, which was to ensure that Jiro would not leave her side. And she wasn't heartless to pretend that she was not aware of Riko's emotional instability just so she could continue her relationship with Jiro.
"What about us?" She asked in exasperation.
Jiro remained silent, his arms around Dara becoming firm. What was he supposed to say? He himself was struggling with what they have. Because no matter what he does, he can never give Dara a better life. A guy who joins underground fights to earn instant bucks; a guy who doesn't have a family to back him up when he needs help; a guy who's indebted to a woman he used and who is now holding him by the neck. He couldn't give Dara the future that she deserved, even though he wanted to be with her until the end.
Until the end.
He secretly knew it would never happen. Dara deserves someone else. She will find someone else. She will meet a guy that will fulfill what her father wanted for her...what he also wants for her.
"This is tiring", Dara said, biting her lips afterwards. She inhaled deeply before continuing, "I don't want to be the girl who waits for you because your ex-girlfriend needs you more than I do. And I don't want to be a girl who will stop you from seeing her, unmindful if a life is at stake." She paused and hung her head low as she spoke, "Please straighten your relationship with Riko."
Her heart hammered inside her chest as she heard his reply, "Okay."
"We can make this work", she added, full of hope.
"Right", Jiro said dryly.
Writer's Note:
MY GANGSTER PROTECTOR video made by baktinski! -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCBzAf2OSGc
Anyway, things are getting more difficult for our Ice Cubes couple lolz! ^_^ stop killing Takizawa in the comments section guys!
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